Warnings: uhhh just a lot of swearing, also slight mentions of alcohol, UNBETA'D

Long author’s note at the end! Would be nice if u guys read it. Sorry it took so long. Birthday gift to y’all xx

When Minseok wakes up, the first thing he notices is that Chanyeol is cuddled up against him. He smiles at that, but his smile fades when he remembers that Chanyeol doesn’t like him romantically. He likes Baekhyun. He looks away and frowns. He doesn’t understand why Chanyeol chose Baekhyun over him, but he knows feelings aren’t exactly controllable.

And Minseok can’t help but wonder what’s going on with Baekhyun, because from all the teasing he’s seen in the group chat and everything that Chanyeol has told him, it truly doesn’t sound like a one-sided romance.

Seconds later, Chanyeol’s phone lights up with a notification and Minseok looks at it out of curiosity. The message preview is private, but Minseok can see the sender’s name — it’s only one letter, but he knows it’s Baekhyun.

A little angry and jealous, Minseok unlocks Chanyeol’s phone with the same password he uses for everything and reads the messages.

B
22:03   How are you?

Today 

B
09:00   I miss you.
09:00   I know you miss the moon in Seoul.

“Really? That’s all you’ve got?” Minseok mutters to himself incredulously. He has half the mind to delete the messages. If he’s being honest, Baekhyun’s a decent guy and as Chanyeol’s best friend, Minseok would have approved of him. But Minseok just had to hear about what happened between him and Chanyeol, and he wasn’t very pleased to know Baekhyun essentially led Chanyeol on only to break his heart.

He hates seeing Chanyeol like this and if Baekhyun isn’t going to redeem himself, he doesn’t deserve someone like Chanyeol. Maybe he’s doing for himself, maybe he’s doing it for Chanyeol, but Minseok doesn’t approve of Baekhyun’s ways.

He’s about to delete the messages when he feels Chanyeol stirring beside him. He hastily exits the app and locks his phone, putting it back where it was before, and turns to give Chanyeol a smile. “Good morning,” Minseok says to him. His fingers are itching to brush the hair away from Chanyeol’s face and kiss him, but he retracts his hand and stands up. Chanyeol doesn’t want that.

“Morning,” Chanyeol yawns, kicking the blanket off his body. He gets up and wordlessly makes his way to the bathroom, rubbing at his eyes. They have a match in the afternoon so scrims will start in a bit, and Chanyeol wonders if Minseok will be watching the match.

Once he’s done washing up, he walks to the kitchen to see if anyone is awake yet. The smell of toast wafts through the air and he hums in delight, quickening his steps.

“...enough? I see. That’s fine with me. As long as you think you’re ready.” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow at the voice, not sure if he should interrupt. Coach Jinki is on the phone and speaking pretty softly, so Chanyeol assumes he shouldn’t be listening in.

He clears his throat to make his presence known and the coach turns around, startled, but he waves Chanyeol into the kitchen as he smiles at him. “Yes yes, that’s all right. I’ll see you soon. Have a safe trip. Bye,” the coach ends the call and sets his phone down, sighing.

“Do you want to play in the match later?”

“W-what? I don’t think I’m ready…” Chanyeol stammers, not expecting that first thing in the morning. He pulls out a chair and sits down, deep in thought. The coach chuckles and passes him his share of breakfast, sitting down with him.

“Don’t worry, if you want, you can sub in for Jongdae for a game or two instead of playing the entire match. We just wanna see how well you do under pressure,” Jinki tells him kindly as he hands Chanyeol the Nutella spread. Chanyeol eyes it warily, and Jinki rolls his eyes.

“It’s not the same jar.”

“Just checking.”

+

Chanyeol ends up agreeing to sub for a match halfway through their game, but mainly because they don’t have much of a choice. Jongdae isn’t playing well and the coach doesn’t want to take any chances with him, so Chanyeol’s abilities will finally be put to the test. He tries to calm himself down by taking deep breaths, but playing on stage amongst the pros is really different from casual streaming and ladder climbing.

He knows Minseok is watching them, and that makes him even more nervous. Minseok, who once was the leader of this team, is here to see how well he’s doing. It doesn’t even matter that Minseok is his best friend—the criticism will come if needed.

Chanyeol tries not to think too much about how he’s the one on stage instead of Baekhyun, his fingers gripping tightly onto the mouse. There are expectations of him that he needs to meet, coaches and fans to please. He can’t let a single person distract him from doing well.
 

Their team wins the match, but Chanyeol suspects it’s only because the other team hasn’t prepared well enough and were caught off guard by the change in their roster. He winces at the loud sounds of the fans cheering as they bid their opponents goodbye — it certainly felt and sounded different when he was the one cheering on the sidelines.

Sighing as he trudges off the stage, he tries not to let his unhappiness show but it’s proven to be useless when Sehun comes up to him and gives him a small smile. He knows the younger has some questions, but he’s surprised when Sehun doesn’t ask anything. “Cheer up,” is all Sehun says before jogging away to catch up with someone from the opposing team.

He’s proud. Happy, ecstatic that they won the match and that he made a difference in the game, but there’s a voice at the back of his head that won’t stop reminding him that Byun Baekhyun still exists and that he would have to deal with that sooner or later.

“Let’s meet at the team house at 6. I have something to announce but I’m sure none of you want to hear that now,” Jinki says to the few of them who stayed behind. Chanyeol nods once and makes a move to join Minseok who’s standing by the door, waiting.

“You did well,” Minseok comments as they start to walk out. Chanyeol stuffs his hands in his pockets, smiling bashfully at him.

“I was okay, I guess,” Chanyeol replies, looking back at the now dispersed team. He didn’t do as well as he wanted to, but he did good enough, so he tells himself not to think about it for now. Minseok leads them out of the arena and tells him what he’s planned for the day, but Chanyeol can’t stop thinking about a certain Byun Baekhyun.

+

“Kibum will be leaving us for LAV in a few days,” the coaches announce when everyone has gathered, and the room goes silent, a palpable tension in the air.

Chanyeol doesn’t know how to react because he doesn’t really know Kibum — all he knows is that Kibum has always been one of their original members. He glances around to see the other members’ reactions. Most of them look shocked, but Kibum looks unfazed.

“That’s sudden,” Jongdae pipes up, sitting upright. But Kibum doesn’t seem to agree.

“We talked about this a month or so back,” Kibum confesses softly, toying with the hem of his shirt. “The coaches knew I wanted a transfer to LAV. I just got lucky.”

“You’ve never told us about this,” Jongdae says accusingly, looking extremely hurt. He looks to Kibum for a response, and Kibum only shrugs. “Sorry.”

Jongdae abruptly gets up from his seat and stomps off, leaving the rest of them confused. Kibum quietly takes his leave as well and goes after him, and Chanyeol turns to look at Minseok, who whispers, “they are pretty tight.”

“So…” Jinki says, getting everyone’s attention. “Farewell party tomorrow?”

“You host parties for everything,” Sehun points out, chuckling.

“Everything is worth celebrating. Kibum is happy he’s leaving. Also, free food for you guys, so don’t complain,” Jinki retorts playfully, dismissing them with a flick of his wrist. “Please stay behind, Chanyeol. I would like a word.”

Chanyeol’s eyes dart back and forth as everyone slowly files out of the room, Minseok included. “Me?”

“Good work today,” Jinki commends him. Chanyeol flushes in response, shaking his head. “You took over Jongdae’s role pretty well. I wonder if the both of you can work well together as our tanks. Your role would complement his.”

“Thank you,” Chanyeol mumbles, nervously twisting his fingers. “I’m still a little overwhelmed. I didn’t expect to play so soon, and I didn’t do as well as I wanted to.”

“You’re just like Baekhyun; such an overachiever,” Jinki muses, leaning back in his seat and sighing. Chanyeol flinches at the mention of Baekhyun, but the coach doesn’t seem to take notice as he rambles on. “Anyway, Jongdae was kinda out of it today so I had to sub him out. I think it’s because he had an inkling that Kibum was leaving.”

“I didn’t know they were close,” Chanyeol comments offhandedly, glancing at the TV.

“They don’t show it often, but they’re good friends. Jongdae joined us under Kibum’s recommendation.”

“I see,” Chanyeol says. “I didn’t know that.”

“There’s not a lot you know about us at the moment, to be frank. But you will learn along the way.” There’s nothing else for them to talk about, but he has a gut feeling that Jinki wants to talk about Baekhyun. Not wanting to let that happen, he gets up and smooths down his crinkled shirt, giving Jinki a small smile. “Well, I’ll get going now.”

“Oh, of course. See you tomorrow.”

He finds Minseok sitting in the kitchen, using his phone. Chanyeol hesitates to call out for him when he recalls last night’s events, and his cheeks heat up at the memory. They were never actively replaying in his mind until now.

Shaking his head as if to dispel the thoughts, he clears his throat. “I’m going back up,” he tells Minseok, who blinks at him and follows suit.

They make their way up the stairs and Chanyeol is about to enter the room behind Minseok when he hears Jongdae’s strained voice. He backtracks and sees that Kibum’s door is open. He moves to close it for them, but stops when he hears what Jongdae is saying. “...let Baekhyun go.”

Chanyeol’s curiosity is piqued. His fingers pause on the doorknob, and he listens in even though he knows he shouldn’t, leaning against the wall beside the door. “He was never mine to begin with,” Kibum’s muffled voice comes through.

“You’re gonna leaves us just because someone on the team doesn’t feel the same way you do?” Jongdae says incredulously, and Chanyeol frowns, agreeing with Jongdae — even though he doesn’t know what exactly it is they’re talking about, anyone could guess from those few lines.

“I’m not leaving solely because of Baekhyun. I’m doing this for myself. I’m tired of you guys pulling me down because I know I have so much more to offer, and I’ve had my eyes on LAV for a while now. I’ll admit that I’m leaving partly because of Baekhyun and Chanyeol, but it’s only a tiny reason. Ultimately, I’m doing this for myself,” Kibum stresses, his voice sincere, and Chanyeol’s frown deepens.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” Kibum adds softly, and Chanyeol knows there’s nothing else for him to hear. He tip-toes back to his room and Minseok stares knowingly at him.

“I wasn’t doing anything,” Chanyeol defends himself before Minseok gets a word in.

Minseok chuckles and goes back to reading his book. “I didn’t say anything.”

“I know that expression,” Chanyeol grumbles, plopping onto his bed. Kibum’s words replay on his mind. I’m leaving partly because of Baekhyun and Chanyeol. 

“And I know that expression. I’m guessing you overheard something you shouldn’t have,” Minseok deduces, setting his book down. “And I’m guessing it has something to do with a certain someone.”

“You know about it?” Chanyeol asks, surprised. Minseok’s eyebrow arches, as if asking if Chanyeol really didn’t know, and to that Chanyeol shrugs.

“It’s old news. I’m surprised Kibum’s feelings haven’t faded. But I don’t blame you — Kibum has always been very good at hiding his feelings. Plus, you don’t really know him, do you?”

Chanyeol shakes his head no. “He mentioned me too…” Chanyeol mumbles, looking out of the window. Minseok glances at him questioningly, not catching what Chanyeol said. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m gonna get food, do you want to come along?”

Minseok hesitates, but then he shakes his head and goes back to reading his book. “You go on ahead. I’m not hungry.”

“Okay. I’ll text you before I get back.” Minseok waves him off, and Chanyeol grabs his handphone and wallet, jogging down the stairs. He thinks maybe he should check on Jongdae, but the latter is nowhere to be found, so he leaves the house quietly.

Now that he’s alone and it’s peaceful outside, his mind is flooding with all kinds of thoughts, plenty of them being Baekhyun. He resists the urge to check his phone for messages, because he doesn’t know if he could deal with them right now. Besides, Baekhyun probably wouldn’t have messaged him.

He doesn’t check his messages for the rest of the night, not even before he goes to bed. He doesn’t think he can stand the disappointment when he checks his phone and there are no messages from Baekhyun.

+

There’s a match the next afternoon, but it isn’t his team’s. Nonetheless, Chanyeol decides to go check it out since he doesn’t have anything to do till the party starts.

Normally, with Baekhyun around, they would’ve gone somewhere or gone to hang out with Jongdae. But Jongdae is spending time with Kibum as far as Chanyeol knows, and Baekhyun isn’t here this time.

Minseok offered to accompany him today, but Chanyeol told him that he wanted to be alone. He grabs his stuff and leaves the quiet team house, cursing when he notices the time. He’s going to be late.

He’s about to plug his earphones in when he notices someone standing outside the team house. The first thing he notices is that she looks Asian, perhaps Korean as well. She looks like she’s about his age, also a little lost and tired, and it’s in Chanyeol’s blood to help someone in need, so he asks her if that’s what she needs.

“Hey, you’re Park Chanyeol aren’t you? I’m at the right place then,” she exclaims in Korean, sighing in relief. Chanyeol raises an eyebrow, confused. He doesn’t recognise this person, and he doesn’t know if he should call security on her. There’s something familiar about her, though, and her being Korean makes things less suspicious. She’s here for a good reason, he knows it.

She extends a hand to him, and smiles. “I’m Joohyun.”

“Joo...hyun…?” The name rings a bell, but it’s a common name. He’s probably came across five Joohyuns in his life. His eyebrows furrow as he tries to remember someone who looks like her, but no one comes to mind.

“Did I really change that much? We had Art and History classes together back at X High,” she tries to refresh his memory, letting her arm fall back to her side. “I’m friends with Baekhyun. And no, he doesn’t know I’m here. Not yet.”

+

Chanyeol ends up going to lunch with Joohyun, missing the match. She’s not someone he was especially close to, but after she shows him past photos of herself, he realises she’s the same bespectacled Joohyun from high school. Nothing much has changed, besides puberty doing things for her.

Still, it’s a little awkward for him to be hanging out with an ex-schoolmate he barely knows, but Joohyun makes it easy for him. She talks mostly about Baekhyun and how he’s like, and barely talks about high school life. He soon comes to realise that she’s the same person Baekhyun was talking to in his video, and the distaste must’ve shown on his face — because Joohyun is quick to let him know that they’re really just friends.

“That darling/babe thing is a thing we used to do in high school. It’s normal for us, so I hope you don’t misunderstand. Baekhyun was panicking  when he ended the video,” she laughs, and Chanyeol stiffens at the mention of Baekhyun once more.

“I’m sorry, but I’m gonna be talking about Baekhyun 90% of the time. I’m here to be your… mediator. The third person the two of you so obviously need.”

“What does Baekhyun think of this?”

“Like I said, he doesn’t know I’m here with you,” Joohyun says, a warning tone in her voice. He gulps and frantically nods. Chanyeol realises how stupid it is to meet with someone he doesn’t exactly know, but he is curious about what she has to say, and she does seem trustworthy. He just hopes his instincts don’t fail him.

He remains silent as Joohyun sips on her tea, quietly studying her. She looks pretty, he thinks. Long hair, long lashes, nice eyes, pretty cheekbones… she looks like someone Baekhyun would probably date. But they aren’t dating,  he reminds himself.

Joohyun sighs. “I’m lesbian. Stop worrying your head off, I’m starting to get nervous too,” she snaps, but there’s no bite in her words, and he smiles sheepishly at her.

“Look, I know Baekhyun is literally the worst at feelings and relationships, and you have every right to be mad at him,” she starts, with Chanyeol nodding in agreement.

“But,” she continues, staring hard at Chanyeol, “he has his reasons. I’m not gonna be the one to tell you his life story, you’re gonna have to coax it out of him. But I can reassure you that he likes you, and only you. Not me, not some other dude or—” she waves her hands wildly in frustration, “—dudette, just you.”

Chanyeol looks around the restaurant, still a little shy to look her in the eye. She’s pretty intimidating even with that small stature of hers, and Chanyeol doesn’t know if she’s mad at him or Baekhyun when she talks like that. “I… I don’t know why you’re telling me this. Honestly, it’s not like what you say will give me an ease of mind just like that,” he says, snapping his fingers for emphasis. 

Joohyun leans forward, eyes gleaming brightly. Chanyeol involuntarily leans back in his seat warily. “Well, Baekhyun’s not a baby. I don’t want to tell you everything, so I’ll leave it to him, but I’m here to make sure you won’t run away from him when he wants to talk to you. I know Baekhyun’s been a and that in your eyes, he probably doesn’t deserve a chance to explain himself, but I really do hope you listen to him,” Joohyun pleads, clasping her hands together.

“T-talk to him?” Chanyeol repeats, eyes going wide as he looks up at the woman in front of him. Joohyun nods. “I mean, I did come here with him, so… I heard there’s a farewell party or something tonight?”

“Oh,” he says in a small voice, looking down at his lap. His food is only half-eaten, but his appetite is no longer there. Does he really want to talk to Baekhyun so soon?

“Also…” Joohyun trails off, as if unsure if she should say something. Chanyeol his head to the side, waiting.

“Yeah?” He prods.

“I was just wondering if you’ve seen his texts. He sent a couple a while ago — I mean, American time so… one two nights ago and one yesterday morning, I think. He’s been pretty upset because he thinks you’ve been ignoring him,” she says. “You aren’t ignoring him, are you?”

“I mean, I completely understand if you are ignoring him, he probably deserves it, but I just wanna know,” she adds. Chanyeol frowns as his heart pounds loudly. Text? 

“What text?”

“The… text…? I don’t know the contents of it, but I know he sent you some things.” He scrambles for his phone, hastily unlocking it and opening his conversation with Baekhyun. His eyes widen as he takes it all in — Baekhyun didn’t just text him once or twice — he texted him multiple times yesterday too.

It’s all too overwhelming and he exits the conversation without reading the entirety of it. The only time Baekhyun would text like this is when he’s drunk — which Chanyeol assum