Realize we were not in the same boat

We been living like angels and devils

Through it all you could still make my heart skip

I never wanna live without it

You drive me insane

Now we're screaming just to see who's louder

“You know you’re supposed to actually buy the book instead of reading it for free, right?”

Yeri feels her face heating up, and she’s ready to splutter an ungainly apology to the bookshop’s cashier until she sees the fat grin in the girl’s face.

“I know”, she says instead, sounding almost inappropriately indignant, and the cashier snorts.

“Just making sure”, she smirks and points on the book in Yeri’s lap. “You almost finished that one. Is it good? I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet.”

Yeri is one hundred per cent sure she is getting mocked, so she just crunches her nose and mumbles, “It’s alright.”

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Yeri stares at the words in the book without progressing them, thinking very rapidly. Should she go? Should she stay? Should she buy the book? No, she can’t do that, she forgot her wallet at home. Not that there’s lots of money in it, anyway.

She peeks up, and when she sees that the cashier is still looking at her, she clears and stares down her book, instead. She hears a chuckle, then footsteps.

Yeri slowly lifts her head again. The cashier‘s gone. She quickly gets up on her feet, puts the book back where she found it - neatly making sure the books on the shelf won’t fall down - and gets out of this bookshop.

She manages to not visit the bookshop for a whole three days.

It‘s just - she’s captured, and she doesn’t have the money to buy all of the books she wants to read.

Maybe she just wants to see the grinning cashier again.

“Is this a habit of yours?”

Yeri looks up, excepting the pretty smirk she’s almost used to, but the cashier only raises her eyebrows. She has long, black hair that’s running down her back like a waterfall. Yeri crunches her nose. She hasn’t noticed how pretty her new acquaintance was when they first met. Yeri could stare into those eyes for hours.

“What?”, she shortly answers, and she thanks god that this girl has the patience to keep up with her as she shots back, “Stealing from my chief.”

Yeri forgets she wanted to keep the cool attitude up and indignantly exclaims, “I’m not stealing!”

“Technically, you are. You’re not paying.”

Yeri notices the full lips of the cashier before she gets a grip of herself. “You know, you really should get a sign outside. I thought this was a library.”

She finally gets a scoff out of her.

“Well, it’s not. Now you know.” The pretty cashier shots Yeri a pregnant look and flips her hair before walking off. Yeri suppresses a grin.

Somehow, this is fun.

Yeri notices the thunder way too late. In fact, she only does when a woman in the aisle next to hers starts to call her son, yelling through the entire supermarket. (“Come on, we got to get going! There’s going to be a thunderstorm soon! Now, come on, we have those cornflakes at home already!”)

Yeri goes on her toes, trying to snatch a look at the outside - just to see heavy rain pouring down the shop’s windows. “Geez”, she mutters to herself, grabbing the frozen pizzas she has been eyeing for the past minute, and hurries to the checkout.

When she steps outside, the world is actually ending. She stumbles aside when a family behind her shoves her away, making their way through to their car, and Yeri scolds herself for not having taken the car herself.

She dials Saeron’s number, but doesn’t hit call in the end. She recalls something like a date, a doctor appointment or something, and she really doesn’t want to be that friend that needs to be picked up. Especially because she just knows Saeron would be teasing her for that for weeks.

Yeri leans against the wall, trying to think up a solution. Swallowing her pride and calling Saeron? Not good. Walking home? She might catch a cold.

She lets her glance wander when she suddenly notices that from this exit, the bookshop she’s been visiting recently is right around the corner. Just a minute away, actually.

Yeri puts on her hood and starts hurrying.

“Hello?”, she enters, and then, when no one answers, “Is this open?”
A slender woman with dark hair comes from what Yeri supposes is the shop’s storage, eyeing her wet clothes and hair. “Good evening”, she says with a cool voice, and Yeri unconsciously straightens her back. Scary.

“I’m looking for…”, the pretty cashier whose name Yeri has never known, “uh, can I stay here for a while? Until the, uh, storm’s over.”

Yeri notices she’s rambling and, on top on that, talking informally like a child, so she quickly adds a “Please”.

“Sure.” The woman frowns when she glances at Yeri’s drenched hair. “Please don’t drop onto my carpet.”

Yeri thinks calling Saeron wouldn’t have been the worst thing after all.

“Thank you”, she mumbles with red cheeks. The woman shots her a last look before saying, “I have to leave now, but Sooyoung will be here for your wishes. She should come any minute now-“

The door breaks open, just to be slammed shut after Yeri’s pretty cashier has forced her body through.

“Hi, chief!”, she exhales, shaking her head like a dog, causing raindrops to fly everywhere. Yeri could swear she hears the scary woman, Sooyoung’s chief, mumbling “My carpets….” under her breath.

“Oh! What are you doing here?”

Yeri finds herself under two different pairs of eyes - a genuinely surprised one, the other mildly interested.

Her cheeks heat up. “I needed a place to stay over. Because, well, the world’s ending right now.”

Sooyoung gives her a crooked smile, and her chief sighs, grabbing the doorknob. “Make sure to close up later, Sooyoung”, she says, giving Yeri a little nod before leaving.

There’s a pause. “Your chief is… something”, she eventually says, and Sooyoung gives her another smile.

“She’s great, really. Joohyun seems a bit stern in the beginning, but she’s a real sweetheart once you get to know her. Hey”, she sits down on one of the chairs in front of the book shelves. “what’s your name? Don’t think I’ve ever caught it.”

Yeri sits down in front of Sooyoung. “It’s Yeri.”
Yeri doesn’t know why she doesn’t introduce herself with her actual name Yerim. Maybe because she feels like she already knows Sooyoung a little bit.

“Sweet!”, Sooyoung beams, “I’m Joy.”

Maybe she doesn’t know her that well.

“I thought it’s Sooyoung”, Yeri frowns, and Sooyoung - Joy – shrugs.

“I just prefer Joy. I’ve had that nickname since middle school.”

“Oh.”

Yeri fiddles with her hands, rubbing them against each other so she’ll warm up more quickly.

“Awful weather out there, right?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty bad.”

Joy glances at her. Yeri reshuffles her position.

“What have you read so far?”

“Hah? What do you mean?”

“You’ve read at least two books here. Which ones?”

Yeri has to say, she’s…. flattered. Joy is, after all, one of the prettiest girls she has ever seen. She looks like the most popular girl in Highschool everyone wanted to date, including Yeri. The fact that someone like this remembers her… it makes Yeri sit up a little straighter in her chair.

“Confessions and Norwegian Wood.”

It’s the first time Yeri returns one of the many smiles Joy has given her, and Joy actually gasps when seeing it.

“I didn’t know you were capable of smiling, Yeri!”

Yeri wants to scoff at her, but the way Joy wraps her to tongue around her name reddens her cheeks, and she just manages to let out a “pff” sound that makes Joy chuckle.

“Confessions”, Joy hums, “isn’t that the bestseller mystery novel?”

Yeri wants to say something between “You read as a hobby?” and “You know that book?”, but what comes out is, “You know how to read?”

Joy pouts, acting like she’s deeply hurt by clasping her chest.. “Geez, Yeri… that hurt, you know?”

Yeri gives her a grimace and Joy laughs again, her wonderful, pretty laugh, and Yeri feels great for making her smile.

Yeri comes more often to the bookshop now.

It’s more like a habit. She still enjoys reading, sure - but she’s more interested in overhearing Joy‘s occasional talks on the phone to a certain Seulgi.

(“Seulgi, I can’t tonight…. yeah, I know, but I have to work…. no, it’s not that bad. You should come by sometime! …hello? Seulgi? Seulgi, have you hung up?”

“Can you tell Nayeon I’m not coming to class today? Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry, but I won’t make it. Yes, I’ll make it up to you. Yes, I can buy you pizza, geez, Seulgi….”)

She wonders who that Seulgi is. Her best friend? A girlfriend, maybe?

Yeri’s just curious, she really is. She doesn’t have any intentions that involve anything romantic. Quite the opposite, her first reaction to Joy talking to her is deadpanning.

It’s just that Joy is very funny, very sweet and very, very gorgeous and she wants to be her friend pretty badly.

She reads another book ; The Little Prince. It takes her about four visits, seven weeks in total, and even though she has remembered where she stopped reading after each session, she notices Joy has made the effort to put stick notes as bookmarks into her book.

She wondered whether Joy payed so much attention to know which book she read, but by flipping through the other copies she quickly realizes Joy has done this to every book. Somehow, her chest feels even warmer because of that.

Some visits pass and the bookmark stick note is now accompanied by additional stick notes with actual notes on it.

“How’s the book?”

“Little prince’s having a hard time, huh? Read on quickly!”

“Come on, almost done! You can do it, Yeri!”

Yeri stares at the pretty letters and the little hearts Joy has drawn next to them and carefully plucks the notes from the pages, letting them slide into her pocket.

“Saeron, I can’t right now”, she hisses, trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible because she feels Joy’s chief - Jooyoung, wasn’t it? - eyeing her. “Sorry, I’ll call you later.”

She turns around with her phone pressed to her chest when she hears Joy coming in.

“Good evening, Jooyoung”, she chirps and immediate beams at Yeri when she spots her. Yeri gives her a weak smile.

“What’s that in your phone case?”, Joy asks, putting her coat on the shop’s clothes rack.

Oh, no.

Yeri tries not to look at a deer in headlights when she quickly puts her phone in her pocket.

“Nothing.”

Dumb Kim Yerim. Using a transparent case. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

Joy does a grimace. “But I definitely saw something!”

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Yeri crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Joy looks offended. “I did!”

Yeri grins. “You didn’t.”

Joy steps forward, cornering Yeri, who looks up to her with a raised chin.

“You sure?”, Joy asks with a fat grin in her face, and Yeri lifts her chin a bit higher.

“I’m sure.”

Joy leans in, her lips almost touching Yeri’s exposed ear, and with a quick movement she has stolen Yeri’s phone out of her pocket.

“Ha!”, Joy says, “I’m sure, she says. Why are my notes in this?” She holds the phone with her thumb and her index finger, waving the phone in front of Yeri’s red face.

“I-“ Yeri shuts and instead tries to pick her phone out of Joy’s hand, which quickly goes up her head, out of Yeri’s range, no matter how much she tiptoes.

“Give me my phone back.”

Joy grins and hands it her back. Yeri basically snatches it out of her fingers.

“Thanks.”

“So why did you keep those?” Joy points at her - now Yeri’s - notes, her index finger drawing small circles as if Yeri’s focus wasn’t already on it.

“I wanted to pin them on my wall”, Yeri mumbles, her eyebrows pulled together.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?”

“I said that-“

Yeri stops talking when she realizes by Joy’s big grin in her face she’s just teasing her.

“Bite me, Sooyoung”, she mutters, shuffling to her usual chair and letting herself fall onto it.

“I’m just messing with you, Kim Yerim”, Joy smiles. “Enjoy your book.”

It takes her fifteen pages to notice she has never told Joy her full name.

“Wait a-“

She looks up, struck by the realization, but Joy has already left ; Joohyun has taken over her , raising an eyebrow when she sees Yeri.

Yeri clears . “Excuse me, when is J- Sooyoung coming back?”

Joohyun takes a moment to think about it. “Next week”, she then answers, “she has finals right now. Why? Do you want to take her shifts?”

Yeri needs a moment to realize Joohyun is just kidding. She thought it’s because of Joohyun’s stern mimic, but maybe Yeri is just bad at taking hints. Taking everything personally. She truly has no idea.

“Uh, no”, she splutters, getting up and putting her book back in the shelf, “I better get going. See you!”

And she’s gone in a beat.

“Yeri, what are you doing?”, her mother yells from downstairs, “dinner is ready in a second!”

“Coming!”, Yeri shouts back. She quickly closes the open tabs on her laptop before shutting it down.

(“Millions of results for Sooyoung”, Yeri mumbles under her breath, “couldn’t this girl have a more unique name?”)

She hasn’t find out anything about her, after all. No instagram, no twitter, no anything. Nothing she could find, at least.

Yeri makes sure to lay the notes on her nightstand before running down the stairs for dinner.

“Look at that girl over there”, Saeron whispers into Yeri’s ear, pointing at a tall woman’s back, “isn’t she your type?”
Yeri takes a demonstrative sip from her soda. “I can’t even see her face”, she then says. “You know, having a girlfriend isn’t everything in life.”

Saeron stares at her for a second - before wrapping her arms around her, tightly hugging Yeri, who tries her best to get out of it. “Oh, the loneliness in your voice”, Saeron cries out, “it’s making me sad… Yeri, we have to get someone for you as fast as possible!”

“People are looking”, Yeri muffles against Saeron’s arm, “besides, you’re single, too.”

“I’ll act like I haven’t heard that”, Saeron scolds her before releasing her from her touch. Yeri loudly exhales.

“For real”, Saeron says, “look at that girl. Tall, long hair, bangs…. hot…. are you sure you won’t talk to her?”

Yeri frowns at the description, it sounds a lot like-

“Oh, Yeri!”, Joy calls out from across the hall, walking towards them (“The hot girl knows your name?”, Saeron hisses in panic before Yeri shuts her down with a “Hush!”).

“Hi”, Joy greets them when she arrives, a little bit out of breath, and she puts her hair behind her ear, giving Yeri a beam. She only has a short glance left for Saeron, Yeri notices with some sort of satisfaction - Saeron looks better than ever, she had dressed up for the movie they were going to watch, but Joy only has eyes for Yeri.

“Hi”, Yeri says rather bluntly, “don’t you have exams right now?”

Joy blinks. “How did you know that?”

Yeri smiles triumphantly, before claiming, “I have my sources”, lifting her chin.

“Joohyun told you, didn’t she?”

“…maybe.”

Saeron looks from Joy to Yeri and back to Joy like she’s following an intense tennis girl with her eyes. Yeri already knows she’s going to answer a long list of questions when they’re out of the cinema.

“Well, my friend’s waiting for me”, Joy says, pointing to a small girl near the entry to the actual cinema. “See you around, Kim Yerim.”

“Yeah”, Yeri says automatically, “good luck with your exams.”

Joy gives her a smile so big it shows her gums, and Yeri smirks back.

They watch Joy walk off, into the cinema with her friend, and Saeron grabs Yeri’s arm so tightly Yeri flinches. “Ow!”

“Tell me everything.”

Somehow, the movie wasn’t interested enough to keep Yeri from staring at Joy, sitting a few ranks lower than Saeron and her.

“You think she’s cute”, Saeron whispers, and Yeri mumbles, “shut up.” Saeron giggles. Yeri sinks a bit lower in her seat.

Yeri finds out Joy and she visit the same college when she visits the library for the first time.

It’s not that she hasn’t studied - she just hasn’t had time to visit the full campus yet. After all, she’s in her first semester, and Saeron only showed her the very basics (which are, by Saeron’s definition, are fulfilled with the cafeteria and the gym).

But she’s figured that it might be time to start studying, the time she has used to procrastinate is pretty much used up.

So when she enters the library, grabs a few books and sits down on a round table, she only notices Joy when same says, “Kim Yerim! Long time no see!”

Yeri lifts her head at once when she hears the familiar, sweet voice. Instead of telling Joy that it has only been a week since they had met in the cinema, she says, “What are you doing here?”

Joy points to the laptop in front of her. “I’m doing homework.”

Yeri frowns. “No, not in the library, what are you doing in this college? Since when are you studying here?”

Joy smiles. “I’m in my fourth semester. Sociology. You?”

“English”, Yeri says immediately, “and P.E. I want to be a teacher.”

“A teacher, huh?” Joy glances at her. “I think that would suit you well.”

Yeri doesn’t ask why even if she’s dead curious. “Thanks, I guess.”

Suddenly, she remembers something she has wanted to ask in forever. “Hey, where do you know my name from?”

Joy smiles at her, but with obvious confusion in her eyes. “You told me?”

“I didn’t”, Yeri answers, “I told you I’m Yeri. You’ve called me by my full name various times already.”

“Oh. I did?” Joy tries to remember, putting a finger on her lip, and Yeri catches herself staring at the motion, “I saw you on instagram, I think. Don’t you have your full name on there?”

Yeri is kind of speechless. Not because she’s impressed, but rather because when she spins complex theories, Joy softly destroys them with simplicity. She likes it. Joy keeps it easy and flowing while Yeri keeps ruining their thing.

“I do”, she eventually says, and gives her a smile. Joy beams harder when Yeri smirks at her.

“So, want a tour for the campus?”

The first thing Joy shows her is the rooftop.

“It’s pretty cold”, Yeri comments, but when she notices the grumbling in her voice, she quickly adds a, “but It’s alright.”

Joy turns around to her. The wind blows through her hair, messing it up, but she’s radiant. Yeri rubs her arms to make her sudden goosebumps go away.

“This is my favorite place here”, she says thoughtfully, “look at the view.”

So Yeri does.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”, Joy whispers, and Yeri glances at her, ignoring the stunning landscape in front of her.

“It is.”

And in this very moment, Yeri thinks it might be love. Not now, but one day. Because who is she to not love this woman, shining brighter than the sun itself?

“I gotta go”, she says, and Joy turns to her, eyebrows raises in surprise. “Already?”

“Yeah.” Yeri hurries to the door that will get her downstairs, down on her feet again, and when Joy calls after her, “Am I seeing you tomorrow?”, she just nods. Yeri slams the door behind her without knowing if Joy saw her.

She turns up in the bookshop again, of course she does. Cautiously, she opens the door, lurking through the small gap. Joohyun’s at the cash register, seemingly counting money. She’s not sure if she’s supposed to be relieved or disappointed. Anyway, she goes in.

“Good morning, Yeri”, Joohyun greets her, and Yeri immediately goes, “Hi, Joohyun”, before realizing they have never been introduced to each other. She clings to that thought for a moment, but then shrugs it off. Joy has dropped Joohyun’s name to Yeri, she must have said Yeri’s name around Joohyun as well. Yeri can’t help but wonder what Joy has said about her. Maybe she wanted to apologize for not throwing out the girl that read brand new books without buying them.

She sneaks to her usual spot and grabs a book.

Half an hour later she notices that Joohyun is leaving. Joy comes in and hurries to her spot, past Yeri without seeing her. Yeri watches Joy pulling out a book she’s laying on the cash register, quickly falling into it.

Yeri raises an eyebrow. “You know you’re supposed to work instead of reading, right?”
Joy flinches at the sound of her voice, and the grin on Yeri’s lips fades. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Yeri purses her lips when Joy doesn’t even have a smile left for her obvious reference to their first meeting, and then continues to read her book. Maybe Joy just needs a break from her. They just have been meeting a lot recently.

She stays Joy’s entire shift.

The next time she comes, Joohyun’s there again, greeting her with a less stoic smile. She’s warming up towards her, Yeri thinks. She gives her a small smile.

When she’s already a few minutes into reading, she looks up. Joohyun’s sorting books almost next to her, making sure they’re in order and neatly placed.

“Excuse me?”, Yeri asks, and Joohyun turns around to her. “Yes, please?”

“The other day, was J- Sooyoung…”, she searches for the right words, “down or something?”

Joohyun frowns - even when doing a grimace this woman still looks prettier than Yeri ever did -, and answers, “well, she offered to cover my shift.”

“I thought she had finals”, Yeri says, more to herself than to Joohyun, but Joohyun still replies, “Oh, she does. When you didn’t show up during her original shift, she asked me to text her and switch with her once you came.”

There’s no accusation or hostility in her voice, yet Yeri feels like someone has punched her in the stomach.

“She did?”, she whispers, breathless, and Joohyun just nods.

Yeri leaves the bookshop exactly three minutes later.

Guilt is something Yeri rarely experiences, but when she does, oh boy.

She doesn’t visit the bookshop for a whole month. It’s killing two birds with one stone - Joy doesn’t have to overwork for Yeri’s sake anymore and, well, Yeri’s dying inside. Maybe she deserves to suffer.

The bookshop started as her getaway spot from college, from stress, from anything that was involved in her world, but now it has become her world.

She misses Joy.

It’s funny if she thinks about it - they have never gotten close nor talked longer than a few minutes, yet Joy is so obviously tangled in her life. Weird.

She doesn’t grant herself to think about Joy at day - that’s her very own punishment, she decides, Joy deserves better than her, she decides. But at night she takes a peek at the notes Joy had written her carefully, with lovely words on them, and she imagines Joy’s smile the second she falls asleep.

Yeri avoids the places she met Joy as well - the library, the cinema. The rooftop. Not that she would have went there by herself, anyway. She didn’t tell Joy she has a low fear of height. It wasn’t present with her, anyway. She always felt protected with Joy.

But of course, she eventually meets her anyway. How couldn’t she? Joy’s radiant presence should be so obvious to her, but it only strikes her when she stands right in front of her.

Like tonight. Yeri stayed up until late night because of studying - god, college really is exhausting - and went to this cafe near her house to get a coffee, and she’s there.

“Kim Yerim?”

She quickly stands up to get her order. “Thanks”, she says, receiving the change from the barista and when she starts heading to the door, taking a sip from her black coffee, she hears it.

“Park Sooyoung?”

Yeri turns around as quickly as Joy does, so when the barista looks at her first, in confusion, Joy follows his gaze and stares right into Yeri‘s face.

“Hi”, she eventually says. Yeri stays quiet, and Joy slowly turns around again and starts walking towards the counter, talking her coffee with a quiet “Thanks”.

Yeri watches the way Joy’s hands almost clench the cup until she’s passed her, and then Yeri figures her heart might burst if she doesn’t do something, so she calls out, “Wait.”

Joy stops in her motions, but doesn’t turn around to Yeri when she says, “What for?”

Yeri sighs, stepping up to face her. Joy’s face is stoic.

“Thank you”, she mumbles, “for taking your chief’s shift the other day. Appreciate it.”

Joy nods, her face remaining unusually cold, and makes an attempt to leave the shop.

“Wait-“

Yeri jumps in her way, right before the door. Joy’s body is too close to hers, but Yeri doesn’t take the step back. (t’s something she has never done and now surely isn’t the time to start.

She looks up - god, Joy’s so much taller than her, she hates how she feels less in control - and says, “Listen, I’m sorry, okay?” Then, through slightly gritted teeth, “I’m sorry.”

Joy gives her a look she cannot quite specify. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

It awfully sounds like Joy is trying to manipulate her into more guilt, and Yeri’s in a range.

“Fine!”, she snaps, turning around on her heels and storming out of the coffee shop, leaving a startled Joy behind.

Of course, Yeri feels worse. Guiltier. Somehow, Joy manages to stir the what she thought was very organized, very few feelings into a colorful mess.

Joy is not entitled to Yeri showing up, that’s what Yeri thinks she meant with saying Yeri has nothing to be sorry for. And she took it the complete wrong way.

At least Saeron understands Yeri is not in the mood for anything these days.

It’s a strange feeling, she thinks. Joy’s so close yet so, so far away. She constantly has to remind herself that she doesn’t know Joy like that. Because they don’t. Joy doesn’t know Yeri’s favorite color and Yeri doesn’t even know if Joy has siblings. That’s the basics of the basics, Yeri concludes, and they don’t even know that. They don’t know each other.

She comes back to the book shop after not seeing Joy for a whole week. Seven days. It’s supposed to be nothing, yet its boring taste was glued to Yeri like old gum. Time creeps without Joy.

Gladly, Joohyun’s there, not Joy, and Yeri shuffles towards her.

“Hi”, Joohyun says, and if Yeri’s not mistaken, the rather cold attitude she had broken down these past weeks has come back. She’s not surprised.

Yeri kind of feels like the ex-girlfriend who has to contact her ex’s family to get her stuff back.

She shakes that odd thought off before greeting Joohyun.

Yeri tries to read, but she can’t concentrate. Not because of Joohyun ; in fact, she’s mostly ignoring Yeri. Because she has to work, not because she wants to, Yeri hopes.

She wanted to apologize - yet again - to Joy, but after an hour has passed, she wonders if Joy is even turning up today. So she puts her unread book back, goes up to the counter and raises her voice to call Joohyun, who’s in the back of her shop.

“Excuse me, is J- Sooyoung coming today?”

“She isn’t”, someone says behind her and Yeri turns around. Joy has stepped through the door, still in her coat.

“Joy is, though.”

Yeri smiles gladly, and after an obvious moment of hesitation Joy smirks back.

“How you doing, Kim Yerim?”

“Good.” Yeri fiddles with her hands while Joy is getting ready for work. She tries not to watch her hand movements when she puts her smooth hair into a ponytail.

“You?”

“Oh, fine.” Then she blurts out, “I’m sorry. I snapped at you and, uh, before that I just left for weeks. So, I’m sorry.”

It doesn’t come with the relief she had imagined it to ; much less like a burden that’s taken from your shoulders and more like removing a bee’s sting, the wound still throbbing afterward.

“It’s alright”, Joy shrugs, “it’s not like you’re obligated to drop by. I mean, you’re not even buying something.”

Yeri is offended until she realizes Joy is slowly getting back to their usual dynamics. She’s so happy about that they’re teasing each other again, she just beams as an answer. Joy laughs.

Maybe they’re good again.

Yeri has spent the whole weekend in what subtle way she could ask Joy for her number, even though Joy will look through any sharp idea. She’s got to try, at least, for Joy has one less thing to about.

She thinks about asking her to tutor her, but then she would have to, well, be tutored, and they don’t take the same classes, anyway.

Besides that, she doesn’t know any plausible reason to ask Joy for her number. Excluding the friendship motif, of course.

“Joohyun?”, she asks one day, nervously shifting her weight while standing in front of the counter. Joohyun looks up. “Oh, hi, Yeri. What’s up?”

Yeri ignores the stiff flavor Joohyun somehow manages to give the casual words and asks,

“Can I get Joy’s number?”

“Sure. She should drop by any minute.”

“No, I mean, can you give me it?”

Joohyun stares at her. “I’m afraid I can’t follow you.”

Yeri sighs, frustrated. Every additional second of this awkward conversation is killing her.

Catch the hint, Joohyun.

“I need her number, but I don’t want to ask her for it.”

“Why not?”
“Geez, forget it!”, Yeri throws her hands up and lets herself fall down on her chair, picking up a book near to her.

She actually does forget it - the book is really great -, until Joy comes up to her and knocks on the book Yeri has been holding in front of her face, being so embraced into it. Yeri lets it sink. “Yeah?”

Joy grins at her. “Joohyun told me you want my number.”

Yeri really starts to dislike Joy’s chief.

“I’m- it wasn’t like-“, Yeri inhales and exhales slowly, then she says, miserably, “yes. Can I get your number?”

Joy’s smile is bigger than her great heart of gold.

“You can.”

Joy is a quick texter, Yeri finds out. She uses emoticons and uses abbreviations she hasn’t even heard of. It’s incredibly fun to text with Joy.

They don’t talk that often, though - just “Do you have time to meet up?”’s and “Sure”’s and “No, but what about tomorrow?”’s.

Joy sends her texts at night just to say that Yeri’s pretty, with a thousand of hearts.

“Yeri!”, Joy squeals, greeting her with a hug. Yeri grins. “Hi, Joy.”

They’ve met up more frequently these days. Today, they’re at the cafe in which they had bumped into each other the other day - Joy said she wants to buy Yeri a slice of cake, and, well, Yeri likes cake a lot.

“Joy! Over here!”, Yeri calls, and Joy turned around. “Oh, hey! Ready to go?”
“Sure.” Yeri puts her headphones in. Joy stretches her arms.
Today, they’re jogging together. (Because of the cake they had yesterday.)

The cinema, the shopping center, relaxing in Yeri’s room, singing karaoke in Joy’s flat.

Joy is somewhat the person most important to Yeri, and she’s sure Joy feels the same way of her.

She knows that when Joy kisses her.

It’s not a big deal. They’re having an “afternoon-date”, as Joy calls those occasions ; watching romantic movies under a shared blanket, lazily snuggling. Until the kiss-thing, Yeri wouldn’t have thought in a million years that Joy meant it as a date.

They’re watching a movie which name Yeri already has forgotten when the two protagonists kiss on the airport before one of them leaves.

“Isn’t that romantic?”, Joy whispers, and Yeri nods. Yeri glances over to Joy - adores the way the television’s light reflects on Joy’s face. And Joy looks her in the eyes, leans in and places her lips on hers.

Yeri doesn’t feel a thing.

Well, that’s not entirely true - she does feel the warmth of Joy’s lips, hears the ending song of the movie in the background, tastes the cherry out of Joy’s chapstick.

But that’s it.

Yeri thought she might date Joy. Maybe it’s silly, but the words that Saeron said to her when they went to the cinema stayed with her.

Maybe she did imagine herself with a girlfriend like Joy. Tall, pretty, smiley Joy, who always takes care of her, who thinks of her and makes sure Yeri knows that.

Maybe Joy would be the perfect girlfriend. Yet Yeri’s feelings for her are all platonic.

The heart wants what it wants, but , sadly, in Yeri’s case, it’s not Joy.

“We…. we shouldn’t…”, she mumbles when they slowly detach, and she lowers her gaze when Joy freezes. She knows the look in Joy’s eyes, anyway. It hurts her, anyway.

“Yeah”, Joy says eventually, shifting her position. Her hand lets go of Yeri’s.

Yeri closes her eyes.

.

They don’t talk about it.

“Hi, Joy”, Yeri says, tiptoeing to hug Joy, “how are you?”

Joy does a grimace. “Don’t ask, I have an exam tomorrow.”

“Me too.” Yeri sits down next to her. “Did you study enough?”

They’re the same. (Right?)

Joohyun gives Yeri a little wave when she comes into the bookshop, and Yeri smiles at her in return. They’ve never talked, but they’ve established something what Yeri would call a casual friendship.

“Good morning”, Joohyun says, “Sooyoung has picked out a book she thought you would enjoy. It’s over there.”

Yeri rushes to the book without a “Thank you”, too focused on he excitement about what kind of book Joy could have possible chosen for her.

It’s a soulmate novel.

“Did you like the book I gave to you yesterday?”, Joy asks her before taking a sip from her water. Yeri nods, smiling. “It’s perfect.”

That’s what they are - perfect. In their own way. And even if Yeri’s heart doesn’t start beating rapidly when she kisses Joy, even if she doesn’t feel an ounce of romance for her, they’re perfect.

Platonic soulmates. A term Yeri has been reserving for someone worth of it. Joy is someone like that.

Their story gets shaken up when Yeri walks into the bookshop one day and finds a girl with brown hair and bangs sitting in her chair.

#Happytachweek [1/2]

Second and last part to be added in a week on 28/05/18 !