“Dude, is that her?” My roommate asked me about the photo I kept in my wallet. I just shrugged it off, taking my wallet away from him and continued doing my assignments. Jungkook continued, “She’s pretty, too bad you let her go.”

“Kook, I really don’t want to talk about her now. Just cut it out,” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying to focus on my work. It’s really not helping when you were caught calling out your ex-lover’s name in your sleep, especially when your roommate is a nocturnal like Jungkook.

“Arasseo but do me a favor. Check on her and well, I don’t know, say hi? You really need it, you’ve been missing her, man. I don’t even know how you could pull that off.” Jungkook patted my shoulder before sitting on his own seat. I can’t, Kook. As much as I wanted to, I can’t.

-

That one day, I was having a day off my busy schedules and decided to check my old SNS accounts, trying to have a good laugh. But it caught me off guard when I saw one of my old posts. About her.

I don’t know how to feel. I missed her. I was longing for her. I have so much to ask her. So much stories to tell her. So many things to talk to her. Joo Kyulkyung, are you doing okay? Are you eating well? Have you been sick before? Are you better now? Do you still remember me?

I scrolled down my old posts, smiling painfully as I remembered every single thing that I’ve been through with her. She was my light. My everything. But I have to let her go for the sake of us both. I had to pursue my studies, she had hers and now, here I am, pursuing my studies in the States, trying to make a better living for all that was left with me, my twin, Doyeon.

­-

“Yah, Cha Eunwoo! You better check this out!” I heard Doyeon’s loud voice from outside of our dorm and that damn kid just burst into my dorm, startling the life out of Jungkook who had his earphones on. And suddenly, she shoved an ad about some essay competition into my face.

“And why would this concerns me?” I asked, confused about her sudden actions. She shot me a glare, saying “Well, duh, you know how I miss your stories, right? Come on, do it for me, please?”

“Arasseo, I’ll think about it. My writing is a bit rusty now, kiddo.” I said, ruffling her hair lightly as her face beamed with excitement. “Anyway, did you remember the name of my writing blog?”

-

I've found the blog and I couldn’t help but to feel overwhelmed seeing my writings, my stories. I’ve started writing here since I met her. Over the times, I wasn’t able to tell her how I feel, and I just had to store our memories somewhere. If I were to publish a book, it all would’ve been about her. I just got so much to write about you, my angel. There is so much I have to say about you, and I don’t think a book would be ever enough.

I scrolled down the website and came across my last story about her, about us. That was the last time I've ever written a story. I've kept myself from writing because every time I was writing an essay, a story, there would always be her in that story. I guess I couldn’t help myself because there’s no you in my reality.

And there it was, a comment. From her. On that moment, my life was suddenly better than always.

-

“Joo Kyulkyung, you are my everything and I just want you to know that I would always pray that you will always be happy and had a great time of your life. You are not being sick again, right? Please be healthy. There isn’t a day went by that I couldn’t help but to think of you. Even Doyeon didn’t remember you, about us and I'm glad she did because it prevented me from crying. What a crybaby I am, huh? But it was all because everything in me had a part of you and I didn’t regret anything about us.

Thank you for existing in my life. You were my world and would always be, Kyulbaby. Thank you for being the reason for me being the happiest person in the world when I think about you. I never get over you, even after all these years, and I doubt I could ever do so. You are my muse and a big part of me.

I love you and I would always be.” I pressed the ‘Save’ button.