baekhyun is seriously considering making an ASMR eating video, just to peeve kyungsoo, but he supposes he should listen to his subscribers' wishes once in a while.  there are tons of comments asking for a tutorial - a makeup tutorial.

 

champions_unite says: "pls pls pls do a makeup tutorial on your kpop idol cosplay!"

stalkandseduce says: "oh my gawd oppa, your burgundy eye look in your last vid was so so y!!!  please do a make up look vid!!!"

lightsaberz says: "makeup tutorial plzzzzzz"

xoxochogath says: "oppa which eyeshadow color and brand did you use for your cosplay makeup?!  it's so pretty!!"

 

"hyung, i'm seriously thinking about doing a dog training channel with vivi" says sehun, muching on banana kick crackers.

"no" answers baekhyun, eyes not leaving the screen.

"but-"

"no" baekhyun repeats.  "just...no."

baekhyun's seen sehun and vivi trying to do an obstacle course for canines.  

he tosses a glance at sehun, who's lying horizontal on the couch.  baekhyun supposes that kyungsoo, his roommate, won't like the crumbs on the carpet, but then again, he's still mad at kyungsoo for what happened this morning.

 

"you know maybe i should make another youtube account" muses junmyeon, who's fiddling with jenga blocks.

"what?" 

baekhyun hopes junmyeon is being sarcastic.

"i could tell jokes."

"..."

"i'm the funniest guy i know."

"hyung."

"i would go viral."

"hyung."

"but maybe the world's not ready for me yet."

"hyung."

 

baekhyun starts to regret inviting these two over for brainstorming.  

 

"seriously though" baekhyun says.  "i need ideas.  who can i collaborate with?"

"how about me?" junmyeon says smiling.

"not you, hyung.  at least, not yet."

"how about-"

"not you, sehun."

"then what about-"

"not kyungsoo either.  i'm still mad at him."

 

sehun tosses a stress ball in the shape of a tomato into the air.  junmyeon grabs it and pumps it furiously in his hand.

"do you see these vessels?" junmyeon boasts to sehun.  "only people who work out as much as i do have these."

sehun rolls his eyes.

"can we get back on the subject?!" baekhyun shouts.

sehun sighs before saying, "so you need another youtuber to do a collab with."

baekhyun nods.

"someone that'll get lots of views."

he nods again.

"isn't the answer obvious?" asks sehun.

baekhyun looks at him with hopeful eyes.

sehun snorts.  "you have to talk to xiumin."

baekhyun throws a cushion at sehun's smug face.

 

if someone asked baekhyun about the youtuber known as 'xiumin', baekhyun would have a lot of things to say.  like how xiumin's real name is kim minseok and how xiumin has over 5 million subscribers.  he could go on and on about how, even though baekhyun's a gamer, he's subscribed to xiumin's youtube channel because xiumin's "just that good."

"they call him the mukbang fairy, for god's sakes.  how am i suppose to even contact him?"

"hyung" sehun deadpans.  "it's the internet.  all you have to do is message him."

"i heard he made that bakery in apgujong sell out of mocha bread for half a year" junmyeon comments.

"i heard he even makes non-edible products sell out if it's featured in a video" adds sehun.

baekhyun holds up a little red bottle.

"i have no idea why, but i bought the lip tint xiumin was wearing in one video" he moans.  "there's no way i can ask xiumin to be on my channel."

 

it turns out that sehun has more balls than baekhyun.  and it turns out that xiumin aka kim minseok, says okay to being on baekhyun's channel.

 

"just breathe" kyungsoo coaches.  "kim minseok is human like the rest of us."

or so kyungsoo says, but baekhyun catches him bringing out new slippers and new cushions.  when asked about this, kyungsoo is horrified at baekhyun's ignorance.

"we can't have the legendary xiumin just wear and sit on our used things!"

he's due to be coming at 11AM and baekhyun has been up since 7:30AM.  baekhyun's pacing around the living room, not even caring that he still hasn't forgiven kyungsoo for surpassing his follower count on instagram.  he needs moral support and sehun and junmyeon had bailed.  

there's sweat on his palms, baekhyun realizes as he's checking the lighting set up for the umpteenth time.  he tries to furiously rub his hands on the kitchen towel when the door bell rings.  both kyungsoo and baekhyun freeze.

three seconds pass by.  and a fourth.

on the fifth second, kyungsoo finally moves, waving frantically and mouthing that baekhyun should be the one to get the door.  so baekhyun moves, walking toward the door unsteadily, arms moving in the same direction as his legs.

"who...who is it?" baekhyun calls out.  

but he can already see xiumin's flawless face through the intercom camera.  his mouth is super dry and his tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth.  but then the flawless human being speaks.

"hi! this is kim minseok here to meet byun baekhyun."

'he said my name!' baekhyun mouths to kyungsoo.

and kyungsoo's eyes are impossibly wide, gesturing to open the door.

"hello?" comes the fairy's voice again.

"oh! sorry um. wait um."

it takes baekhyun another minute to get the door open.

 

what really does baekhyun in, is the fact that one of the first things to come out of kim minseok's mouth is: "so ... i saw your pic on instagram this morning."

kim minseok's eyes are raking up and down baekhyun's body with a teasing giggle as kyungsoo squeals.

"you went on my instagram account?!" kyungsoo asks in a voice that's two pitches higher than usual.

"mmhm" kim minseok, the fairy smiles mischeviously.  "nice one pack."

kyungsoo clasps his two hands together as kim minseok pokes at baekhyun's soft belly.  meanwhile, baekhyun dies a little inside.  he's going to kill kyungsoo later.