'so, quick question, why do we still refer to panic! at the disco as they when it's only brandon left?'

 

'did you need an answer for this so badly that you called me in the middle of the ing night, park woojin?' jihoon's annoyed voice boomed through the speaker on woojin's phone, creating chaos in his otherwise serene room.

 

there are many ways in which people cope up with stress. in woojin's case, he tries to block unwanted thoughts in his mind by giving way to other, more important ideas and bothering his friends with them.

 

in this particular night, he chooses to call jihoon. he should've expected his reply, though.

 

woojin grimaces. his bestfriend technically does have a point in his response, but never letting his curiosity gnaw at his mind has always been a part of woojin's skill set.  'you didn't have to yell at me.'

 

'i don't know why i'm even friends with you.' jihoon answers back before ending the phone call. 

 

woojin laughs. 'its because i'm awesome.' he responds, even though jihoon won't hear it.

 

he lays on his bed, sighing once the quiet settles in once again. 'what else to think about now?' he asks to no one in particular.

 

the painful silence he receives practically spells out 'nothing', and it's making his head hurt a lot more. woojin lifts his hand to look at his wrist. 'what else to think about besides this?' 

 

the clock striked twelve approximately three hours ago, undoubtedly opening his 18th birthday. this also meant finally seeing the name of his soulmate.

 

woojin wasn't that excited. he has established a long time ago that he thinks its stupid how you should love another person just because fate decided you to. shouldn't it be us who will decide whether a person is worth being with for the rest of our lives, not some unknown force of the universe?

 

he stands by his beliefs, but that didn't stop his heart from reserving a space for expectations. expectations of what? happiness? love? woojin isn't sure, but he felt them clinging to his soul whenever he's with jihoon.

 

he has always thought jihoon is pretty. woojin reasoned it's natural to think of that as they're bestfriends and aren't they supposed to hype each other up?

 

however, the calmness and joy he feels whenever he's with jihoon doesn't happen with anyone else. its just with him. so woojin figures maybe soulmates but if it's jihoon then he'll be okay with it.

 

it wasn't jihoon, though. and woojin thinks it's this information that made him feel the most upset.

 

woojin unconsciously traces the symbols glowing like stars on his wrist, illuminating his hand as if showing off its existence to the world.

 

..- -. .- - - .- -.-. .... . -.. , it says.

 

'what does this even mean?' woojin asks, already hopeless. unless there's a person in the world whose name is a combination of jumbled dashes and dots, woojin is perpetually alone.

 

'i guess this is what i get for shading the universe.' 

 

woojin closes his eyes and forces himself to sleep. maybe this is for the better, he thinks.

 

☆☆☆

 

in a place like woojin's school, word travel fast, so frankly, he should've been ready.

 

many questions were raised left and right, most of which woojin cannot answer himself. fortunately, even though he did him dirty the night before, jihoon was there to help.

 

like a knight in shining armor but cuter and softer, jihoon protected woojin from the onslaught of aliens and predators that were their school mates.

 

'can you leave him alone for a second? it's his birthday and he doesn't need all of you ogling on his marks like hawks!' jihoon yells. woojin almost tears up from admiration.

 

they're in the school cafeteria and trying to peacefully go on their lunch, but alas, people .

 

eventually, the fading attention span of students caught up with them and they leave them alone.

 

'ing finally.' jihoon mumbles under his breath. 'you okay?' he asks, looking at woojin with concern etched on his features. 

 

woojin suddenly feels weird. 'i guess? i mean i've never liked this soulmates thing and now that the universe has answered back with the same opinion, i think i'm good.'

 

jihoon gives him a pointed look. woojin sighs. 'okay, i might be feeling a bit down because why are there symbols on my wrist instead of a name? am i the weird kid now?'

 

'you've always been the weird kid.'

 

'thanks for the support, i appreciate it.' woojin supplies sarcastically, pressing his lips in a thin line.

 

'you've always been weird and that's what makes you normal, woojin.' jihoon says, giving him a smile. 'and really, who cares if you have dots on your wrist? i think it's pretty cool. i'd like to have them too.' 

 

'you don't understand because you don't have anything yet. i think i might have a computer as a soulmate.' woojin bites back, but his heart feels heavier.

 

jihoon shrugs and takes a bite of his apple. 'didn't you say it's us who should choose our own soulmate? go choose yours.'

 

☆☆☆

 

it took a month before woojin finally figures out what the symbols meant. it's one word, written in morse code. the discovery wasn't far from the conclusion that woojin will forever be alone, but it helped him accept that fact.

 

jihoon's 18th birthday rolled by pretty fast, and though woojin already knows his name wouldn't appear, he couldn't stop the wave of sadness that washed over him when the name 'bae jinyoung' shows up on his bestfriend's wrist.

 

however, that didn't change anything between them. jihoon has been pretty chill about everything, and he didn't appear to be particularly thrilled too. woojin wonders why.

 

through his recovery period, as woojin liked to call it, jihoon was by his side. today is no exception, as both of them hang out in jihoon's room, listening to day6 songs because his bestfriend is so very gay for the band and woojin supports him 100%.

 

'why don't you try and find that guy?' woojin asks out of nowhere, startling a peaceful jihoon out of his reverie.

 

jihoon gives him a questioning look. 'who?'

 

'your soulmate.' woojin says with a blank face.

 

jihoon looks away. 'why should i? i'll meet him someday. he's my soulmate afterall. for now i'm happy here.' 

 

'here with me?' woojin almost asks, but he caught himself. instead, he replies with 'yeah, i guess.'

 

'what about you? why don't you go find your own?' jihoon asks, looking at him. his eyes speak something woojin can't quite understand.

 

woojin smiles. 'i have you, don't i?' 

 

a blush appears on jihoon's face. woojin's smiles wider, his heart skipping a beat. 

 

jihoon recovers fast and winks at woojin. 'yeah, i guess.'

 

☆☆☆

 

'do you think soulmates can just be platonic?' jihoon suddenly asks.

 

'what does that have to do with our math assignment?' woojin asks back, focusing on his book and not sparing jihoon a glance.

 

jihoon chews on his bottom lip. 'i don't know, but i feel like i wouldn't want to be with my soulmate all my life, you know.'

 

woojin swallows down the hope he feels because he doesn't want the disappointment again. 'why? whoever that jinyoung is, he's your soulmate because you're compatible. i'm sure you would want to spend forever with him.'

 

'i want to be with someone else.' jihoon whispers.

 

woojin tries to ignore his thoughts. you're destined for solitary life, he reminds himself.

 

☆☆☆

 

'i'd like you to be my soulmate.' jihoon informs woojin once he enters the latter's room.

 

woojin promptly falls off his desk chair. 'what?'

 

'i like you.' jihoon confesses, blushing furiously. 'i've always liked you even though you're weird and you talk in your sleep but i like you because you care about me and appreciates day6 bops like i do.'

 

'but.. but what about jinyoung?' woojin asks, unbelieving.

 

'i.. i know it's wrong to feel this way but i don't care about him because i already have you.'

 

'what the hell, jihoon.' 

 

jihoon sighs. 'i know.'

 

before he knows it, woojin's standing up and hugging jihoon like his life depends on it. 

 

'i like you, too. i like you so much it hurts but i'm scared. what if you're just saying this because you haven't met him yet? i don't want you to regret being with me, jihoon.'

 

jihoon smiles. 'you said we should be the one to choose who we want to spend our lives with, right? i'm choosing you'

 

woojin breaks off the hug to look at jihoon. he sees the love and sincerity in his eyes.  this, woojin thinks, if jihoon's choosing him then why should he care about anything else?

 

'you better not regret this because i won't let you go, ever.' woojin says before closing the distance between them.

 

☆☆☆

 

jihoon does end up meeting jinyoung a few weeks after. it didn't end badly, as woojin feared, because it seemed like jinyoung also had an eye for a different person, and they both decided to just stay friends.

 

'platonic soulmates' jihoon likes to call them. woojin rolls his eyes but agrees with him. 

 

☆☆☆

 

on his 19th birthday, woojin's symbols changed.

 

.- - . .- ... . , they now say.

 

woojin only needed a few seconds to decode the symbol before he's smiling and hugging a confused jihoon.

 

'what does it mean?' jihoon asks.

 

he looks at him and smiles. 'it's a secret.'

 

jihoon pouts. 'tell me now!' he whines.

 

woojin laughs, contentment filling up his heart. 'baby, we have all the time in the world.'