Wheein shuffled toward her living room, and the first thing she noticed was a scent – different from her usual – that went passed her.

Byulyi.

Right. Byulyi was just here this morning. Wheein had mentioned about wanting a Yoghurt drink last night and Byulyi appeared the next morning with two bottles of her favorite brand. She was also here two days ago, bringing instant ramen as she argued that “eating ramen alone is no fun, Wheein!” Byulyi was also here a week ago, bringing Daebak and Haengwoon with her, and 10 days ago, when she first asked if she could visit Wheein.

It had only been four months since Wheein first met Byulyi as the airport staff that helped escorting her, but they had grown closer, much much closer than Wheein would like to admit. It came off as surprising to her, how she easily found comfort in Byulyi’s presence. How she secretly grew fondness of her scent.

And Byulyi, on the other hand, was just as pleasantly surprised. Her co-workers had thrown a lot of comments about how Byulyi had seemed much more cheerful, in which Byulyi would always shrug off with a grin, but she too, couldn’t help but notice.

Wheein’s presence was like a breath of fresh air for Byulyi, after getting herself drowned for so long. It was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Like the first bloom of the flower when spring finally melted the winter coldness away.

Like for once, Byulyi might have hopes.

So, like every other desperate people, Byulyi held tightly onto its only hope.

And Wheein didn’t mind. She enjoyed the persistence of Byulyi’s company. The way she called Wheein almost every night, asked if she was up for a dinner every weekend, or showed up randomly in front of Wheein’s house with food and Wheein’s favorite snacks.

“How do you know?”

Wheein couldn’t hide the giddy feeling as she took a bite of her favorite flavored KitKat, her lips forming a wide grin.

Byulyi laughed at the sight.

“Lucky guess.”

Since then, Byulyi had brought Greentea KitKat a little bit too often, and a little bit too many. Wheein didn’t complain, despite having commented on something about the diabetes she would probably suffer from. Byulyi only laughed in return, telling Wheein she probably would suffer the same.

“You never even eat the sweets you buy for me!” Wheein had protested.

Byulyi only hummed in response, muttering under her breath that it was because Wheein was too sweet.

Wheein pretended not to hear that.

---

“Do you like her?”

The question coming from Wheein’s older cousin instantly stopped Wheein’s story mid-way. Her cousin had just visited and Wheein had told her about the audio book Byulyi had bought for her earlier. What she didn’t notice – but was very apparent to whoever was listening – was how frequent Byulyi’s name slipped out of her lips, almost subconsciously and Wheein was surprised at the familiarity.

“Of course I like her, she’s sweet and kind.” Wheein let out a chuckle, hoping to sound indifferent to the question.

“Wheein, you know what I mean. Do you like her? Do you want to date her?”

Wheein  was already opening , maybe to deny the question, or perhaps to confirm. But she ended up with silence. Her index finger traced absent-mindedly against the arm rest of her couch, liking the texture of the leather under her fingertip. She raked her brain for an answer, but she shouldn’t even bother because honestly? She didn’t know.

She had thought about the possibility, that was for sure. In every of Byulyi’s sweet gesture, soothing voice, and gentle touch, Wheein couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to be able to fall asleep in Byulyi’s embrace, or how it would feel to press her lips on Byulyi’s forehead.

She liked Byulyi, yes. It had only been four months, but she could almost be certain. It was probably in the lines of the audio books Byulyi bought her. Or it was during the sushi dinner they had at 1 AM in the downtown of Seoul. It could also probably during the first of her visit, or, now that Wheein thought about it, it could just date back to the first time she met Byulyi. There was just something about Byulyi that infatuated her. Something that successfully made Wheein welcome Byulyi’s presence with opened arms. Something that made Wheein think that maybe, this time, it would be alright to slightly depend on someone.

“I’m not sure…” Wheein started, an honest doubt lingered in the tone of her voice, and she let it thicken in the air. Yes, she liked Byulyi. But did she want actually date her and commit in a relationship? With someone she still tried to figure out? In her current condition? Wheein wasn’t sure.

Hyoyeon, her cousin, had waited for Wheein to continue, but the latter just sat there, sinking in further into the couch with her head leaned against the couch and her eyelids closed.

“If you like her, you should probably take a chance, you know.” Hyoyeon made her way to the couch, plopping down on the empty space as Wheein could feel the weight on her left.

“She may be good news, who knows.”

Wheein did not answer. Hyoyeon stopped prying after that and none of them talked about it again that day. But at night, Wheein spent the hours being wide awake on her bed, her fingers fidgeting against each other.

It was not that she had a traumatizing love experience in the past, nor that she had a commitment issue. Wheein’s relationship track record was considered clean, boring event. She had only had one girlfriend and it lasted only for five months. They broke things off nicely, gradually growing apart by distance and time.

No, relationship was not the problem.

Wheein shifted her position so that she was lying on her side, her cheek pressed against the warm surface of her pillow.

Slowly, she closed her eyes, letting slumber taking her over. She hated that period of time when you closed your eyes but you hadn’t really slept yet. Oh, how much she hated that period of time for it made her alarmingly aware of how there was no difference of opening and closing her eyes – it would always be dark, anyway.

The same thought she had pondered about since the afternoon passed by for the last time before she eventually fell asleep.

Could she love someone in the dark?

Could someone love her… in the dark?

---

Several blocks away, Byulyi was already deep in her sleep, her two dogs occupying the empty space on her bed as they two, fell deep in slumber. There was a twitch of eyebrows not long after, followed by a shift of position, then a rustle of blankets, before Byulyi suddenly sat upright in one abrupt movement, eyes wide and beads of sweat trickling down her forehead.

Byulyi’s lips were dry when she took a glance at the digital clock placed on her desk.

2 AM.

It came back.