Author's Notes:

I totally forgot to upload this on here haha

This story was originally supposed to be fluffy and cute what have I done? Also sorry if there are any typos, I finished this at 2:30 in the morning.

Please look at the notes at the end for important information about next chapter!

Luckily, Yanjun decided to take the day off from work. However, that doesn’t mean he can easily forget what happened last night. Chaoze had been sending him worried glances all morning.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks when Zhangjing doesn’t go on break at the usual time. He didn’t have much of an appetite today. Chaoze doesn’t have to explain what he meant by the question, both of them know this is about Yanjun. “Thank you, but not really,” Zhangjing offers him a sad smile and pretends to go back to work. In reality, he’d been staring at the screen all day without getting anything done. He couldn’t really focus. Being this unproductive would normally cause Zhangjing to stress out, but he can’t bring himself to care about work right now. It’s not until tears begin to blur his vision that he decides to leave his computer.

Seconds later, he’s leaning against the bathroom sink, trying to compose himself but unable to stop himself from crying. Another man enters soon after and Zhangjing almost panics before he recognizes who he is. “Come here,” Chaoze wraps his arms around the man and pats his back, hoping to bring him a bit of comfort. They stand there for a few minutes before Chaoze opens his mouth to speak again, “You love him, don’t you?” No response comes from Zhangjing, but the silence tells Chaoze everything he needs to know. Unsure of what the best advice would be for his friend, Chaoze simply hugs him tighter and let’s Zhangjing wet his shirt with his tears.

Justin always lifts everyone’s mood when he visits the office, so when Chengcheng chases him past the bathroom as Zhangjing and Chaoze step outside, Zhangjing can’t help but smile. Being Mr. Zhang’s nephew, he got away with doing a lot more things, so it made the environment a lot more lively. It’s exactly what Zhangjing needs this afternoon.

The teenager’s parents lived in Korea, but when Zhengting returns to China to visit family and old friends, he stays with his uncle and his uncle’s roomate (?). Zhangjing thinks he remembers the man’s name being Junmian or something like that? He visits the office every once in a while, but none of the employees really know much about him.  

“NA NANANANA NANANA!! RANG ZIJI DREAMING DREAMING ALL NIGHT!” Zhangjing hears Justin’s piercing screeches beautiful singing later when he returns to his desk and swivels his head around to see what’s happening. Chengcheng, and Justin and dancing(?) and singing into makeshift microphones by Zhengting’s desk. A crowd of chairs encircle them, office workers clapping and hollering as the two boys battle it out in a fierce karaoke battle. Zhengting forced his intern, Chengcheng, to participate, but it didn’t really take long before the man was having fun. Zhangjing soon joins in with the rest of his coworkers in cheering the boys on. He really should be getting some work done, but the man decides that he needs to get him mind off things.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING OUT HERE?” Mr. Zhang has yell to be heard over all of the noise. Everyone in the office freezes. There’s silence except for the music that’s still blaring through Zhengting’s speakers. Justin turns to the boss and pouts, looking like a kid that just got his christmas toy taken away. “We were just trying to have fun! I never get to invite any of my friends over to your apartment because you are Junmyeon are always too busy having-” “JUSTIN! I’ve been looking for you!” Mr. Zhang’s roommate (????) steps in and puts his arm around the teenager’s shoulders, laughing awkwardly. “I forgot that I was supposed to take you shopping! Let’s go do that now,” Junmian? Junmyeon? says as he quickly ushers the boy towards the elevator. Justin calls out something in Korean that Zhangjing doesn’t understand, but it causes Chengcheng and Zhengting to double over in laughter while Mr. Zhang and his roomate blush fiercely.

With everything happening today, Zhangjing realizes he’s forgotten to check his phone since last night. Fishing it out of his pocket, he finds a few missed texts from Chaoze (probably from last night), and a relatively new one from the one man he didn’t want to think about:

Yanjun - Come over after work so we can talk.

Zhangjing lets out a shaky breath and responds with a simple “ok.” before heading back to work.

It all started as a joke. When Zhangjing told him that no one would fall for his flirting, Yanjun took that as a challenge to prove him wrong. Of course he had fun messing with his friend, the fact that Zhangjing responded so well was just an added bonus. He’d only planned on dragging it out for a day, but the longer he did it, the more enjoyed the man’s reactions. He had always teased Zhangjing from the moment they became friends, but he would always do that in a different way. Mostly, he would taunt the man about his nerdy clothes or the fact that he cried at almost every movie they watched together. Never had he tried to flirt with him before, so when Zhangjing reacted to his teasing with a blush, Yanjun was a bit thrown off. Over the four days that he’d been messing with his friend, Yanjun grew to anticipate his Zhangjing’s red-tipped ears and embarrassed side glances. For some reason, it filled Yanjun’s chest with a warm feeling. Was it his heart swelling with pride from his well executed attacks? Well, that’s what he thought initially. It wasn’t until last night that he realized it was something else.

He really wasn’t expecting Zhangjing to kiss him. The man honestly thought last night would be just as uneventful as any other day. To say the least, he didn’t think he would end up with Zhangjing’s lips against his own. At first, Yanjun just thought he was acting stupid because he was drunk, but when he pulled away and saw the genuine look of admiration in Zhangjing’s eyes, he freaked out.

‘ ,’ Yanjun thought as he rose to his feet. Everything else was muted as Yanjun stood there, heartbeat thumping in his head. If Zhangjing said anything, Yanjun didn’t hear it. What had he done? Yanjun never imagined that he’d actually win the silent bet that the two had agreed upon. Or at least, Yanjun thought of it as a bet. Now he wasn’t sure if Zhangjing saw it the same way.

As Yanjun drove his friend back home, he felt heavy with guilt. How could he do this to Zhangjing? He hadn’t meant for Zhangjing to fall for him, but that’s exactly what happened. Even worse, Yanjun was unsure about his own desires. He couldn’t guarantee that the feelings between them were mutual and it killed him.

While they’re standing at Zhangjing’s front door, all Yanjun wants to do is wipe his friend’s tear stain cheeks. He wants to pull the man into his arms and tell him that everything would be okay, but he can’t. When Zhangjing grabs his hand and looks at him like he’d do anything to make him stay, Yanjun wants nothing more than to kiss him. But he can’t do that either. If Yanjun gives Zhangjing what he wants now, he might be setting him up for disappointment in the future. While Yanjun might see Zhangjing as a potential romantic partner, the man was his friend first. He’d be damned if he let anyone break Zhangjing’s heart, especially himself. “I’m sorry,” Yanjun says, hoping that Zhangjing can tell how much he means it, “I need time to think.”

On the way back to his car, Yanjun makes sure his face is turned away from the apartment. He can’t let Zhangjing see his tears fall because dammit Lin Yanjun did not cry.

The doorbell rings. Yanjun grabs the handle and pulls it back to reveal the curly-haired man, who looks just as scared to have this conversation as him. “You said you speak to me, so let’s talk,” Zhangjing steps inside, expression harder than it was last night. “I still don’t know what to say,” Yanjun admits, cringing because he knows that he isn’t being helpful at all. “Okay,” Zhangjing crosses his arms over his chest and glares up at him. He looks betrayed. “Why don’t you explain why you led me on for the past four days only to turn me down after I kissed you,” he breathes out and Yanjun parrots him with a sigh. “I didn’t really have a chance to turn you down, you kissed me out of nowhere,” he says and Zhangjing huffs because he’s right, “And you were drunk, I couldn’t have a conversation like that with you knowing that you weren’t in the right state of mind.” “Whatever,” Zhangjing scoffs, eyes starting to water, “Don’t you think you could at least have turned me down directly instead of leaving me to agonize over what you were thinking that entire night after you left?” At this point, Zhangjing didn’t have much hope that things would turn out the way he wanted them to. If he’s going to leave, he might as well leave now while he still had a bit of dignity left.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Yanjun explains, grabbing Zhangjing’s wrist to prevent him from heading towards the door. The other man feels the frustration boil up on his skin’s surface, hot angry tears rolling down his cheeks. “It’s too late for that idiot!” he jerks his arm away, chest rising and falling heavily as he refuses to look at the man behind him. Yanjun feels his heart crumple up in his chest and he stands there frozen. Everything he wanted to say just wouldn’t come out. “I-I just wanted to protect you,” he tries to reason with the man, who is having none of it. “Well you’re doing a pretty job at that don’t you think?” Zhangjing spits out, expelling the fire burning in his throat, “Don’t try and save the situation now. I’m already hurt, so anything you do from now on is going to be ing useless!”

It strikes a nerve and Zhangjing regrets it the minute he lets the last word fall out of his mouth. “I’m sorry,” his sounds meek as he voices out the apology, watching as his friend tenses up. “It’s okay,” Yanjun bites his lip and turns away, “I know…” Zhangjing feels even worse as he sees the telltale signs of his Yanjun’s shaking shoulders and hears the quiet sniff that the man tried to cover up by scuffing the sole of shoe against the ground.

“Yanjun, look at me,” Zhangjing whispers as he gently places his hands on Yanjun’s shoulders. The man slowly complies, going limp at Zhangjing’s touch like he always did at moments like this. Yanjun cries into the man’s shoulder and Zhangjing holds him like he’s something precious, something fragile. Like he’s afraid that any slight move will cause him to break.

Lin Yanjun hates being vulnerable. He hates the sympathetic look Zhangjing is giving him when he knows he doesn’t deserve it. He hates how he can’t stop his tears from falling. It’s almost ironic how it makes him cry harder. “I was just angry. I promise I didn’t mean that,” Zhangjing rubs his back and wonders how awkward it must look for someone of Yanjun’s stature to be leaning against a short guy like him. Yanjun nods and hugs Zhangjing tighter. He hiccupped quietly but at least his sobs were starting to subside.

It’s moments like these that make Yanjun think that maybe he’s in love with Zhangjing. When Zhangjing forced him to buckle up before leaving his driveway on the way to Xukun’s party last night, not because he doesn’t want to get in trouble (like he claimed), but because he wanted his friend to be safe. When Zhangjing forces him to eat right, sometimes even cooking himself, not because he wants to be bossy but because he’s always worried about Yanjun’s health. Or years ago when Zhangjing wouldn’t leave him alone until he took his medicine, because even when Yanjun didn’t care about getting better, Zhangjing did. It’s when Zhangjing makes him feel like he’s loved, like he’s worth something.

“I don’t deserve you,” Yanjun finally croaks out what he’s been wanting to say this whole time. It was true. Well, at least it was to him. Zhangjing had been taking care of him since they met and what did he do? Nothing. The best he can offer Zhangjing is to make sure he doesn’t put any more weight on his shoulders. “Yanjun, you deserve everything. You deserve the world,” Zhangjing argues adamantly and Yanjun thinks the man doesn’t quite realize how soothing that is to hear. Unable to find the words to respond, Yanjun merely nods and wipes the wetness from his face.

“It’s been a long day,” Zhangjing says and Yanjun couldn’t agree more. “Do you want to popcorn and watch some movies?” the elder asks and Yanjun nods again, afraid of what his voice will sound like if he tries to speak.

The two fall asleep together on the couch, the soft hum of the tv quiet enough not to wake them. Popcorn kernels scattered the floor, ignored by the sleeping duo snuggled together on the cushions. They weren’t able to make it halfway through the movie, but it’s alright. They had marathoned the Harry Potter series enough times in the past to know how this one ended. The issue of last night laid unresolved, but both of them knew it was better left for tomorrow when emotions weren’t so high.

Notes:

Just to warn you, the next chapter might deal with some sensitive issues. I'll explain in the notes when I upload the next chapter, so if you're worried that it might affect you, please be sure to check those out. As always, I really appreciate your comments! If you ever want to talk, share your theories, or show your fics to me, you can add me on my new twitter: @meiyouzhangjing !!!! I'm happy to speak to anyone who messages me!