[Mark’s POV]

I was standing still at my place, didn’t move at all even a slight, except my heart that pounding so fast looking at this beautiful man in front of me. It was an instant attraction. I mean it’s not hard to like someone or at least attracted to someone who’s as perfect as him. As simple as snapping a finger and then ‘boom!’ my life was changed.

I only heard a sound of pouring rain outside, until he dragged one of the chairs beside the table near a window. He put down his jacket on the seat back, and then he readjusted the fit of his shirt that soaked pretty bad. With a scrunched on his face, he sat down and let out a heavy sigh as if he was disappointed at himself.

I just realized there’s one big brown envelope lying on his table. His eyes still fixed to the said envelope with a mixed expression on his face. I guess it must be something important.

I was meticulously staring at this person when he lifted his head and looked straight to my eyes. Before I consciously realized what was happening, he had already raised his hand and smile.

“Excuse me…”

Wha-what? Did he call me?

I was surprised by the voice of this person. It was deep yet very smooth, but the impact of his voice was so powerful to me. Let’s not forget the smile. His smile. I’ve never seen the most heartwarming smile like that in my entire life. My heart’s beating like crazy made me unable to think anymore. Now I swore I must look like an idiot.

I look around then asking him if he called me earlier. The man let out a scoff. There were cute wrinkles rose under his eyes, he’s trying to hold back his laughter. Maybe he was amused by my stupidity. Of course, he called me! There’s no waiter here except me. Stupid.

He nodded his head then asked me again, “Yes. I’m sorry, but could you lend me a towel, please? That if you don’t mind.” I can see a slight pink blush on his cheek. But his lips slowly turn into pale, freezing to the coldness of the weather.

“Ye-YEAH! SURE, SURE! WAIT A SECOND.” I didn’t know why I shouted. That’s so dumb. I immediately turn my back walking fast toward the office. It was very embarrassing. I’ve never acted like that to anyone, not even once. And now, I felt like I was a teenage girl falling for a mysterious guy I just met today.

I stepped into the office starting to look for a towel. My heart still pounding so fast while I was digging inside the drawers made a bowl of mess everywhere. I searched thoroughly one by one, every single drawer from top to middle, and finally, I found the said towel in the back of a bunch of aprons.

However, the longer it gets, my heart’s blast get even stronger. I noticed it became irregular and too fast than normal. My body started trembling. I groaned and looked around to find something to hold on to as I tried to resist the abrupt onset of panic.

My breath became more shorten, then I began to hear a lot of voices going around inside my head. They shouted and jumbled to one another attempted to dominate the floor. I see a table placed across the drawer behind me, so I staggered stretching out my hand tried to reach the edge of the table, hopefully, it can hold my body for a while as I tried to remain calm. I was choking, feeling nausea with sweats slide through all over my face. I was so scared; I literally thought would go crazy this time.

Mark, let me out!

No, me first!

I need to know his name.

Let me help you to get closer to him.

Oh my God… he’s gorgeous.

Yeah… I love his smile.

There were Jackson and Jaebum excited talking about that guy. I can feel that they also attracted to him. Well… I don’t blame them. He is gorgeous, indeed. But I won’t let this chance slide to waste. I need to know more about him. This is my life, my body, and my consciousness… I’ll be selfish this time.

Sorry but I need to know this guy personally.

I said calmly to The Others. Still tried to breathe and gritted my teeth holding up the uncomfortable pain in my body.

Ha! Like you can… Go on! Try it. I saw what you did there earlier.

I want to come out, too! I want to play.

Suddenly, Yugyeom’s voice came to the surface. As usual, he always wanted to join his hyungs to do whatever the hyungs were excited about.

Hey, this is time for an adult! You go taking nap or something. Go! Hush!

I’m not a baby, okay? Besides, What are you guys talking about? You seem so eager at something.

You don’t need to know, Yugyeom. And it is someone, not something.

What?? What happened?

Yugyeom sounded very surprised at the emphasized word. There’s a split-second of silence where Jackson and Jaebum are both shut their mouth, thinking better to tell the youngest or not. Then I decided to cut in the awkward pause between them.

Stop it. I’ll go now. You guys don’t be childish and don’t make a scene in front of him.

I forced my body to stand up and faced the drawer behind me, grabbed the towel, and walked fast toward the front table where the man was waiting for me. I saw he was looking at some papers in his hands. The body leaned to the seat back and cross his right leg over the left one.

His eyes skimmed the page, read through every word written on it. That was definitely a stunning scenery in the middle of empty quite a room. I didn’t know how many times I’ve praised him in just a few minutes when he barely did anything actually.

I walked warily didn’t want to interrupt whatever he did and handed him the towel when I got to his table. He looked surprised to see I was already standing beside him out of nowhere, but then he took the towel with a wide thankful smile. He rubbed his head with that towel when I realized I haven’t asked his order earlier.

“Uum… do you want to order something?”

“Ah yes. One Americano, please. Thank you.” The man said again with a smile hung on his face.

“Alright. Please wait a moment.” I hurriedly walk to behind bar and rushed to make his order. While making it, I just can’t help stealing glances at that guy. I admitted it; I’ve never felt this way before. I was too busy thinking about my life and how I’d live together with The Others after my parents died. Moreover, I thought I might never experience moments of falling in love like this.

I remembered one romantic movie I’ve watched a few years ago. There was a scene where the main character finally confessed to his lover, he said;

“Trust me when I say you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known; inside and out. I love every single little thing about you. Good and bad. Because it makes you, you.”

I thought the line was very cheesy. But that very line also made me think about myself. Will I find someone who loves me as the way I am?

Loves every single thing about me, literally, every single one of me?

Will they understand me?

Can they?

All those questions kept lingering inside my head. This ed up person dream the impossible. So pessimistic of me to think about love, when I always feel inferior compared to The Others. I often think that I was so ordinary, no character or talent.

I meant, looked at Jackson for example. He is cheerful, isn’t afraid to speak his mind, and always be the center of attention. Or Jaebum, at least, he has a sense of art in himself, quite dependable, and smart. Even Yugyeom, he’s a sweet kid, emphatic, and have a big heart.

How can someone love me when I can’t even love myself?

Maybe I can fall for someone, but I’m not sure it will reciprocate. That’s why, I prefer to focus more on my life, enjoyed it every minute. I didn’t want to bother myself with an absurd thing, like love. So, I’ve never laid a stare to anybody or interested in someone up until now.

All I knew was every pulse inside of me has been screaming for him.

Ten minutes passed, I finally finished the coffee. I put it on a tray, picked it up, and prepared to deliver it to his table. From behind the bar, I can see he was staring at the window, and then writing something on a paper. As I walked closer, I saw a determination in his eyes flowed into his fingers dancing with a black pen on a crumpled white paper. I became more relaxed now. So far The Others didn’t give signs of break lose.

“Here’s your Americano.” I placed the cup near the stack of papers. But he didn’t budge a little. I still stood beside him, got more curious what he wrote about.

“You look in the zone right now.” I leaned slightly towards him as I opened the conversation between us. He turned his head up flustered for a second time.

“I-I’m sorry?”

I chuckled at his flushed face “You’re so serious when you’re writing. You didn’t even realize I was here, did you?”

“Ah, yeah.