Even That Made Me Happy // Final
Like We Used To // ChanbaekWhen morning came
I used to check for your messages
Chanyeol yawned, stretching his long arms and legs before his hands began to search for his cell phone. Chanyeol squinted his eyes, not used to the morning light due to just waking up. Chanyeol's fingers soon grazed against the cool surface of his phone before wrapping around it and drawing it closer to his body. Chanyeol's fingers skimmed the back of his phone, searching for the power button. Chanyeol's eyes opened slightly once he had pressed the power button, the light of his phone screen added to the of the morning sun causing him to squint once more. A small smile played on Chanyeol's lips as he entered his passcode, his phone unlocking afterward and revealing a few texts.
Good morning
I hope you slept well
❤
Chanyeol's eyes crinkled as he smiled at the messages and began typing his reply, slowly at first since sleep began to tug on his eyelids once again. After pressing send Chanyeol turned his phone off and rolled onto his side, pulling his pillow to his chest as sleep tempted him. The sun shining in from his window warmed him, only causing him to feel more comfortable and sleepy in his bed. Chanyeol grinned before opening his eyes and laughing slightly before sitting up and getting out of bed.
The start of those days
Wrapped around me with warmth
Chanyeol stretched yet again, heading towards his dresser and grabbing an outfit for the day. A quiet ping from his phone drew him back to his bed. Chanyeol picked his phone up, cradling it in his fingers before entering his passcode. His smile only grew as he read a new text message.
That's good
I hope you are having a nice morning
I'll see you this afternoon
I love you
❤
Chanyeol typed out a reply, whispering a quiet 'I love you too...' as he pressed send. Chanyeol placed his phone back down on his nightstand before moving back to his dresser and grabbing the clothes he had set on top of it. Chanyeol made his way to the bathroom, taking a shower after stripping from his clothes. Once dry and clothed once more Chanyeol brushed his hair and teeth and put on his deodorant before adjusting the uneven ties of his sweatshirt. Chanyeol spent a few minutes styling his hair before making his way down the stairs and grabbing something to eat, settling for a bowl of cereal and an orange.
You dressed nice and smiled at me
You greeted me and waved at me
Chanyeol sighed, putting his dishes in the sink and rinsing them off. After sitting around for a few hours and running a couple of errands with was already noon. Chanyeol stretched his arms before leaving his house again that day and walking to the nearby café. A smile spread across Chanyeol's face as he saw the smaller boy standing outside the entrance of the café. The boy's face brightened when he saw Chanyeol and he happily skipped over to him, intertwining their fingers as he did so. Chanyeol squeezed the smaller's hand, a slight coldness coming from him, leaving him to sigh silently.
Those memories, our memories
They make me look back suddenly
Chanyeol pulled his hand away from the smaller's as he opened the door to the café, holding it open for the other. Thank you Chanyeol. The voice of the older echoed in Chanyeol's mind, filling Chanyeol's heart with sweetness and his stomach with butterflies. Chanyeol went to the front counter, ordering their usual drinks before going to find the table where the older was sitting. Chanyeol smiled as he saw the older sitting in the corner of the café by a table that was near a small bookshelf. Chanyeol placed their drinks on the table and sat across from the older. Chanyeol closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of warmth that surrounded him. Upon opening his eyes the coldness of reality surrounded him once more, leaving him to sigh sadly.
Those times were better
Those days were happier
Chanyeol shook his head, taking a sip of his drink as he did so. Chanyeol sighed before standing and moving to the side of the table near the bookshelf, his fingers gently skimming the spines of the books. He saw the older smile from the corner of his eye as he too skimmed through the books. Chanyeol grabbed a book from the shelf, looking over the cover, the words passing through his field of vision like a blur, almost like he was on a rollercoaster. Chanyeol flipped to a random page of the book, the words seemingly floating away from the page as he did so. Chanyeol looked up from the book, turning on his heel so that he was facing the table once more. So... Chanyeol... I was thinking after this maybe we could go to the park? Chanyeol smiled, nodding his head slightly, placing the book back on the shelf.
Even moments I tried to forget you
But I couldn’t because of these feelings
Chanyeol grabbed his drink from the table and pushed his chair in, weaving through the small tables and pushing past the glass door, a small ting coming from the bell above the door. Chanyeol smiled slightly as he looked at the sidewalk as the smaller fell into step with him, tugging on the sleeve of his sweatshirt as he tried to get Chanyeol to walk faster. Chanyeol felt his heart speed up slightly and once again butterflies were going crazy in his stomach. When they arrived at the park the smaller immediately ran to a small grassy hill, lying down before rolling down it. Chanyeol chuckled slightly as he sat on a bench near the hill, watching as the older continued to go up the hill and roll back down it, his sweet laughter ringing throughout the park.
I liked it all
Chanyeol yawned as he stretched his long legs and stood, the smaller hurrying over to his side as they began to walk around the park. Can we go to the library? Chanyeol nodded his head, a small smile spreading across his lips. Chanyeol hushed the excited smaller as he held open the doors of the library for him. The smaller immediately skipped into the large building, immediately making his way to one of the shelves. Chanyeol put his hands in his pockets before making his way to a different shelf, a large grin breaking out on his face as the smaller looked at him through the other side of the shelf, pulling a silly face.
Times when I prayed for tomorrow not to come
Times when I just sadly looked
Times when those faces were good
The smaller bounced slightly as he spotted on of Chanyeol's friends who had wide eyes like an owl. Chanyeol greeted his friend with a small wave and smile. The older watched happily as Chanyeol made small talk with his friend, a deep chuckle escaping him. When Chanyeol's friend found the book he had been looking for he said his goodbyes before checking out the book and making his way to a tan skinned male who stood by the door. Chanyeol frowned slightly as he watched his friend go before checking the time on his phone again.
They pass by and I can’t stand it
After awhile Chanyeol exited the library, the smaller hurrying to catch up with him. Thanks for today! I had a lot of fun! Chanyeol laughed slightly at the smaller's excitement. The two went their separate ways, Chanyeol messing around on his phone during his walk home before he found himself checking his messages.
When can I see you again?
I miss you...
Let's meet up soon!
❤
Chanyeol sighed, frowning ever so slightly before smiling once more and looking at the sky that consisted of brilliant swirls of pinks and oranges as the sunset. Chanyeol grinned as he passed by the park, remembering how much the smaller loved it and how he loved to roll down the small hill, being entertained for hours by it.
Those times were better
Those days were happier
Chanyeol reminisced the moments he spent with the older, smiling to himself at everything he saw that reminded him of him, a heavy weight placed on his heart. Chanyeol shook his head slightly, shaking his head in attempts to tear away at the snakes constricting his heart. His mind played short movies of two teenagers, laughing and having fun while messing around on a children's playground. Poking and prodding each other with thin fingers as they drool over the sweets displayed in the front window of a bakery. Hushed whispers and quick footsteps as they run through the hall trying not to be caught by teachers.
I still can’t let you go like this
Chanyeol's fingers curl towards the palms of his hands, forming a fist. His knuckles go white as he feels his chest shake, a sob slowly seeping out of him. He continues to watch the little movies playing in his mind. One of them stumbles as they go to pick up their high school diploma, the other grabbing their arm and laughing as they help stabilize them. They sit in silence as the smaller of the two teenagers fidgets, concerning the younger who brings the older into their arms with a hug. I like you... A lot more than I should... Chanyeol feels his heart pound dully in his chest, his shoulders shake as he sobs yet again.
Sometimes, I heard about you
Even that made me happy
Just the thought of the older was enough to make the younger bubble and beam with happiness. Chanyeol sighs, wiping the tears from his face as he watches the sky slowly shift to purple and deep blue, thousands of stars speckling the new night sky. Chanyeol rubs his eyes, the movies playing in his mind stopping. Chanyeol draws in a shaky breath before exhaling.
Those times were better
Those days were happier
Chanyeol, don't listen to them. You're wonderful. I love you just the way you are. A bitter-sweet feeling pressed on Chanyeol's heart as he wiped away his remaining tears. Chanyeol extended his arm upwards, his index finger grazing against the stars. He counted each star until his finger reached what he deemed to be the brightest, the heavy feeling in his heart faded away like morning fog on a sunny day. He found himself smiling once again, not aware of the tears that once again began to dribble down his cheeks.
Even moments I tried to forget you
But I couldn’t because of these feelings
Chanyeol lowered his arm, his eyes straining to look at the small stars in the sky. Even the brightest of all of them was harsh on his eyes. It twinkled slightly, almost as if it was smiling at him.
Maybe this is better for you
"You're happy right now right?"
"I hope you are..."
But I still can’t reach out to you
"I really miss you."
"A lot..."
So I blankly looked for a while
"It's already been a year..."
"I can't believe it..."
Sometimes, I heard about you
"I really wish you were here with me..."
"But..."
Even that made me happy
"We'll meet again..."
"Right?"
Yeah, I think so.
"You know I love you right?"
Yeah, I do...
"I'll see you again soon Baekhyun..."
"I hope you'll wait for me until then..."
"I love you."
I love you too.
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