Vernon could hear Seungcheol shouting before he even stepped foot in the apartment. It was weird, scary, hearing the leader shout. He never raised his voice, even when he was livid with anger. As the second youngest crossed the threshold he heard the shrill yelling of Jeonghan in reply. He walked into the living room and found Josh sat on the couch, arm wrapped protectively around Chan who looked petrified. Soonyoung was flitting around by the TV stand arranging DVDs in a weak attempt to distract himself from the noise down the hall in the farthest bedroom. Occasionally he would offer one of the cases to Jihoon or Minghao with some pointless question and recieve a shrug in reply before he shrugged himself and carried on shuffling the items on their shelf. Jun was leant in the kitchen door watching the scene take place. Vernon could only assume that the others were hidden away in their rooms, maybe using headphones to try and block out the deafening shouting match taking place. Jeonghan and Seungcheol had been together for almost 3 years and yes they argued. Over stupid things, little things. Sometimes Seungcheol would forget himself for a second and stand a bit too close to his partner at a fansign who would scold him for it later. Sometimes Jeonghan would say a sarcastic throwaway comment about something unimportant and the older would give him a few stern words about being considerate of others. Sure they argued, every couple does. But they never. Never. Fought. They never screamed or shouted, until now. They were always so calm and loving. Maybe not overly so but it was clear that they loved each other. Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan like he was the entire world. Sometimes Jeonghan would catch him and he’d look a little scared. It wasn’t that he didn’t love him, or he wasn’t a loving person, it was just... Something indescribable. Ever since they first started dating he’d been the same, always caring but never too much. Even in the safety of the dorm it was like he had his guard up in case someone saw. Looking back it seemed like all of them could count the times they’d seen the couple kiss on one hand. Maybe that was it. Vernon was scared too ask. He looked up at Jun in confusion and fear. The older boy shook his head and shrugged, turning to make himself a drink. Joining Chan and Josh on the couch seemed like the safest place to be. He wanted to go and get his headphones but what if he was in the hall when one of them came out? Both of them? And he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask for a volunteer to come with him. 

 

After the shouting came the silence. 3 days of it to be exact. 3 days of painfully awkward avoidance tactics and one word answers. They had a week break. A week that was supposed to be fun but every single one of them could agree they’d take 13 hours of straight dance practice for a week over this. Everyone was so on edge. No one wanted to say the wrong thing in case one of the two eldest heard it. It was almost as if hearing the pair shout at each other like that had made everyone scared of them. On day 2 Vernon had made some dumb joke about how they were probably gonna go to court to fight for Chan when the divorce came through. Which had caused said maknae to burst into tears. Josh had very nearly killed the young rapper with the daggers in his eyes before the pair spent the next hour trying to calm the youngest down. After that it was even worse. This wasn’t just effecting a relationship between two people, this was effecting their whole family. 

 

After another 24 hours of turning around and walking back out of rooms or rushing to spend as little time breathing the same air as each other someone finally snapped. Probably one of the most unlikely candidates at that. It was first thing in the morning, the eleven boys and their leader were sat in the living room trying to wake up. Jeonghan had come out of the kitchen coffee in hand, taken one look at the eldest and turned to retreat back up the hall. It was then that a mug slammed down on the coffee table in frustration. 

 

“Look. I don’t know what the hell happened but you two need to sort this out because it’s hurting everyone.” Jun looked between his two hyungs frowning at the pair. 

 

“Sort this out? Im not the one who needs to sort anything. It’s not my fault he’s ashamed of me.” Seungcheol spat out. He had a nasty sneer set into his features. It didn’t suit him. 

 

“Im not ashamed of anything” Jeonghan hissed in response. The older let out a dry humourless laugh but as he watched Jeonghan his eyes started to soften. The younger was stood, eyes downcast, staring holes in the floor boards. A drop of water hit the floor as he cracked out in a whisper.  

 

“I’m not ashamed of anything” 

 

Seungcheol got up off the couch and made his way over to the other. Arms snaking around his waist. 

 

“Don’t” Jeonghan choked out as he tried to pull away. Seungcheol only shushed him and moved one hand up to bury in the hair on the back of his boyfriend’s head. Gently pressing the others face in to the crook of his neck. It was then that Josh and Jun started to usher the other 9 out of the room. A few seemed almost reluctant to go but after a few gentle nudges and or a swift kick they were sent on their way until only the two eldest remained. They stayed in that position for almost 10 minutes. The shoulder of Seungcheol’s shirt was soaked through with silent tears as he held the other close to him. Basking in the warmth he’d missed for the past few days. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Came the shaky whisper. “I can’t do this anymore.” Seungcheol pulled back slightly to inspect the other. Frown set deep on his brow. 

 

“What do you mean, Sweetheart?” 

 

“I... I don’t know” Jeonghan sobbed out. “I love you so much. But I hate it. Why can’t I just be ing normal?” 

 

“You are normal, baby”

 

Jeonghan let out a dry, unnatural laugh. “Normal? Are you kidding?” His voice starting to raise hysterically. “I’m a ing . I’m not normal.” Jeonghan missed the hurt look in Seungcheol eyes as he spat out the sentence. 

 

“Don’t say things like that. Please, please don’t. It’s not- you’re not. Don’t call yourself that. It’s ok.” 

 

The younger shook his head vigorously. As if he was trying to dislodge the idea that Seungcheol might be right. “How am I supposed to look my parents in the eye? Any of the others?” 

 

“Because I’ll be right there with you. In the same position as you. Holding your hand. Because I care about you. Because you mean the world to me and I want everyone to know it whether they like it or not. Because I love you.” Jeonghan smiled ruefully at the older. 

 

“Aren’t you scared?” He breathed out. 

 

“Of course I am. But I guess love makes people brave” Seungcheol grinned dumbly at the younger and received a hearty eye roll in response. 

 

“Well you know what they say? Bravery is the kindest word for stupidity” 

 

“Yes they do and I’m stupidly in love with you. So hold my hand and kiss me and smile and be brave- stupid with me. Cos I wanna be stupid with you and I want everyone to know it.” Seungcheol grabbed both of Jeonghan’s hands as he talked and squeezed them tightly 

 

“Are you sure you want this?”

 

The older lifted one of the soft pale hands to his lips and lightly kissed the skin of his knuckle. His eyes locked with Jeonghan’s. A warm smile set into his features. It suited him. 

 

“As sure as the dawn”