After that night, we didn’t meet again. Instead we communicated via text and email.

He sent me the pdf copy of the project and I sent him my own revisions and additions to it. I also created a short PowerPoint for our presentation, that he reviewed on his own.

For the rest of that week that was all we spoke about. I was thankful that he didn’t mention anything from that night. The thought of me crying in front of him was hauntingly embarrassing.

“Ah~…I feel like I can breathe again.” I stretched in relief as soon as we exited the school building that Friday. “Is it me? Or does the weather seem exceptionally nice today?” I smiled.

“It’s just you.” Junhyung remarked, his arm hanging over Yoseob’s shoulder.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring him.

“See, I told you it wasn’t going to be that bad. The professor even enjoyed your presentation. I thought it was good too. You guys really went deep into it.” Yoseob said.

“Yeah.” Was all I said, gripping the strap of my satchel. I hadn’t told him about what happened that evening. It was too embarrassing and a memory that I would like to try to forget about.

“Are you okay?” He asked in slight concern. “I’m fine. I was just surprised by how much work he put into the project.” I confessed. Yoseob smiled at this.

At that moment, I heard laughter. I looked to see that it was Daehyun with a group of friends, standing at the top of the stairs to the front of the building.

We made eye contact. He smiled and waved at me.

I quickly turned away, facing forward. It was weird…him being here. I still hated him, but at the same time I didn’t hate him as much anymore.

I quickly straightened myself up. Don’t think too much about it…you’re moving on.

Yoseob noticed this and raised an eyebrow, but decided not to say anything about it. “Hey, Jae. Do you want to catch a movie tonight? I have two tickets.” He sang, pulling out tow movie tickets from his pocket.

“What? You’re going to see a movie tonight?” Junhyung questioned before I could answer. “Um, yeah. I have two free tickets.” Yoseob answered as if it were obvious.” “But I have a game today.” Junhyung pouted.

“And?”

“I want you to go.”

“Junhyung, I always go to your football games.” Yoseob said.

“So?”

“So…I want to do something else on my Friday night. I don’t even like sports.” Yoseob murmured the last part. “But I need you there. You’re my good luck charm.” Junhyung said.

Yoseob frowned at this, not convinced. “You don’t need me there. You’re already really good.” He remarked.

“Oh? You think so?” Junhyung smiled proudly.

Yoseob rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s boost of over confidence. “Yes, and you know it. So, I don’t need to go.” He argued.

“but you give me energy.” Junhyung nuzzled his nose in the crook of the younger’s neck, catching him by surprise.

“Yah! Yah! You’re gonna gross Youngjae out.” Yoseob said, trying to push the elder away. “Not until you say you’ll go.” He said.

Yoseob sighed in defeat. “Fine.” He gave in.

Junhyung perked his head up, smiling in victory. “Good. I have to go meet with the others. I’ll see you later.” He said, kissing the top of Yoseob’s head. “Bye Jae.” He said before leaving. “Bye.” I waved.

“You two are disgusting.” I remarked once he was gone. Yoseob only laughed, “No, you just need a significant other.” He teased. “Oh! Maybe I can set you up with someone. Like a blind date.” He suddenly perked. “Oh!! I know a really nice girl that volunteers at the library with me. I think you two will get along nicely, and she’s really pretty.” The more he spoke, the more excited he became.

“No thank you. I’ll have to pass up that amazing opportunity.” I said sarcastically.

The elder slightly pushed me, his temporary dream being crushed. “I forgot. You’re the Grinch of all things romantic.” He remarked.

“It’s just a waste of time. You go through so much for what? You put so much energy into what? Only to be backslid by pain and left weary in the end. I’d personally spend my time and energy on something else.” I shrugged. Yoseob just chuckled, “Okay Youngjae.”

“But on a serious note. Can you go to the game with me?” he asked with pleading eyes, suddenly hugging my arm. “I’ve been to so many games and I still know nothing about it, except for when there’s a touchdown.” He pouted.

“I’ll go with you, but I don’t know much about sports. So, I doubt I’ll be much help.” I chuckled at his change in behavior. “It’s okay. Your company is enough.” He said, squeezing my arm. “How is it that we’ve been ins school for so long and still know nothing about sports?” He said. I shrugged, “I guess we’re just losers.” He scoffed tat this, “Speak for yourself.”

 

 

We both returned to our own dorms to prepare for the game. I didn’t do much but freshen up and relax a little bit.

Before I headed back out, I spotted Daehyun’s clothes that he let me borrow, folded on one of my chairs. I had yet to return them to him. Honestly, I was procrastinating. I couldn’t bring him the clothes to school…it would look weird. But I didn’t want to go back to his place.

I sighed, “I’ll take it to the laundry mat tomorrow morning before I go to the library.” I decided, before walking out the door.

 

 

I met Yoseob at the stadium five minutes before the game started.

“At least it’s a home game.” I remarked after we got our tickets. “Tell me about it.” Yoseob nodded in agreement, leading him into a rant on how Junhyung expects him to go to his away games as we looked for a seat on the bleachers.

It wasn’t hard finding a good spot, since we came before the rush. We were sat pretty close to the field. Well we were forced to stand when the game started if we wanted to see.

Junhyung was actually really good. He was a starter on the team since his freshman year. He was given a full-ride scholarship for football. I don’t know what position he plays since I don’t know the game, and Yoseob always seemed to forget too.

Yoseob cheered Junhyung on throughout the game and some other players that he knew. I couldn’t help but smile a little. Though I wasn’t one for romance, him and Junhyung were cute. And even though I for it, I am happy for Yoseob.

During half time we went to the concession stand to get some snacks. “Do you want to catch that movie after the game?” Yoseob asked, taking his ice pop. “Wouldn’t Junhyunnie want to see you after the game~?” I teased as we stepped out of the line, opening my bag of chips.

“Hehehe, very funny.” He mocked. “I don’t want to waste these tickets. Besides, he’s probably going to eat out with the team afterwards.” He murmured now annoyed. I laughed a little, “I’m only messing with you. Sure, I’ll go the movies with you too.”

I unconsciously looked around, over my shoulder, feeling like someone was watching me.

“Maybe I should just go myself.” Yoseob remarked. “You guys are so difficult.” He pouted, referring to Junhyung and I.

At that moment my eyes locked with Daehyun’s. He smiled at me and walked our way.

I quickly looked away. Why is he here?!

I guess I shouldn’t be so shocked, since he is into sports and school spirit and all that junk. “Jae, you okay…” Yoseob’s voice trailed as Daehyun approached us.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” Daehyun smiled. I felt my body subconsciously shrink at his presence. “But I’m glad.” He beamed.

I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I could just ignore him and walk away. But…I couldn’t do anything.

Yoseob noticed this, “Hey, I’m Yoseob. Yours and Youngjae’s presentation was really good.” He held his hand out for a handshake.

Daehyun shook his hand and smiled, “Thanks. Aren’t you one of the students that helps out at the library?” he questioned. Yoseob nodded, “yep.”

“I thought I’ve seen you there a few times. So, are you guys enjoying the game?” he asked. “Yeah, but I guess I’d enjoy it more if I knew what was going on.” Yoseob confessed. Daehyun chuckled at this.

“Yeah. We should probably get back to the game so we don’t miss anything.” I said, pulling Yoseob away by the wrist, back into the stands. “Okay. See you later.” He waved a chuckling smile on his face.

“Jae, you okay?” Yoseob asked once we were back in the bleachers. “Y-Yeah.” I said, scrunching my brow, also confused. Why did I freeze like that?

 

The rest of the game seemed to have taken forever. I couldn’t stop thinking about earlier. Why did I freeze? I didn’t know what to say or think or do. I sighed, maybe a movie will be good after all.

After the game, we met Junhyung on the field so he could get his victory kiss or whatever, and from there Yoseob and I went to the theater for a late-night movie. We shared a medium size bucket of popcorn and sat at the top of the almost empty theater.

I frowned at the middle of the movie. It turned out to be a romance movie. “I’m going to get you for this.” I whispered to him. “Hm?” He said, pretending to not understand. I scoffed, slouching back in my seat, chewing on the popcorn obnoxiously. Yoseob let out a small chuckle.

 

-

 

I woke up early the next morning and took my clothes to the laundry mat across the street of the dormitory. I could’ve used the machines at the dorms, but I had a certain way of washing my clothes that usually took me a while.

I divided my clothes into three different loads (dark colors, whites, and colors) and placed Daehyun’s clothing in there as well.

I sat down in one of the chairs, waiting for the clothes to wash. Last night was still on my mind. My mind had went blank…but the strange thing was…I felt…scared.

I took a deep breath. Don’t think too much about it…you were probably just tired. It was a crazy week after all.

Once the clothes finished washing and drying, I took them back to the dorm and put them away. I neatly folded Daehyun’s clothes and placed it in a shopping bag and placed it on my desk. I’ll give him the clothes…later. Then I grabbed my satchel and headed out my dorm to the university library.

 

The university library was open to the public on the weekends, so it was usually somewhat full on Saturdays.

I greeted Yoseob (who was volunteering) before heading to the second floor. I went to my usual spot near the back, right by the window. I then pulled out my textbooks, journals, and laptop out of my satchel and placed them strategically on the white marble table.

I smiled, feeling completely in my element. It was tradition for me to spend my Saturday mornings in the library. It was calm and quiet. It’s a nice get away, even if I’m doing school work.

 

I was 20 minutes into my studying when someone slid into the seat across from me. I looked up to see that it was Daehyun.

He sat there a large, proud grin on his face. “Good Morning.” He greeted.

I slightly narrowed my eyes at him. He had a small paper brown bag in his hand with what looked like a small Frappuccino. “You’re not supposed to have food I here.” I said. “How did you even get that past the librarians?”

He shrugged. “I have my ways.” He smiled.

I just shook my head and returned to my studying, trying to ignore his presence, pushing back the fear that was creeping inside me. “did you eat?” He asked.

I didn’t say anything and continued to concentrate on my work.

“I’ll take that as a no. I brought you your favorite. Two glazed donut holes and a small vanilla bean frappe.”

I paused.

“I even asked for sprinkles on the donuts.” He said, sounding proud of himself.

I slowly looked up at him with blank eyes. “Why?”

“I figured that you weren’t eating much. You look much thinner from the last time I saw you. So, I figured I’d bring you a little something.” He explained.

I felt my pen slowly tremble in my hand.

I quickly put the pen down so he wouldn’t see and placed my hands in my lap. “Why?”

There was a slight pause before he answered, as if he were choosing his words carefully. “I said I was going to do all I could to make it up to you…” He rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling uneasily, “…but honestly I don’t know what to do.” He confessed.

I was silent.

He looked back at me. “But don’t worry. I’ll figure it out. But for now, I figured I’d help you with the small things. Even if it’s to bring a smile to your face once a day. It may seem silly or even cheesy, but it’s crazy what a smile can do to the person wearing it.”

I sat there, silent and lost. Something like fear and joy gripped my chest. He was being sincere.

It was all in his demeanor, in his words, in his eyes. He spoke with confidence yet caring. But his body showed cautious nervous movements. And his eyes shown an unwavering, unpredictable excitement.

This…for some reason…scared me.

My mind was telling me to give him a chance, to keep my promise to myself. To listen, to see, to read, so that I can grow and move on. But there was another part of me that wanted to shut him out. Lock myself away from him any spec of emotion or reaction. That wanted to run away and protect myself. That wanted to close him off and anyone else. That was afraid to return any emotion in fear of it being spit back in my face.

“I don’t want to get kicked out.” I cleared my throat, trying to speak firmly.

“Okay.” Daehyun nodded in understanding. He took the bag of donuts, but pushed the frappe towards me. “But at least take the drink, so you have something in you.” He said this with a smile, but his tone was serious.

I opened my mouth in protest when something else caught my attention.

My eyes darted the library as more and more people came in. The grip of fear tightened in my chest as I looked back at Daehyun. “I have to go.” The words slipped from my lips without a single thought.

I abruptly shut my laptop and stood out my chair and began to pack my stuff.

“Let me help you.” He said, standing up as well. I didn’t say anything and let him do what he wanted. The faster I pack, the sooner I can leave.

As soon as I finished I left him, only muttering a quiet goodbye.

 

As I quickly walked through the library, the librarians eyed me. It wasn’t until I was out of the building when I realized that I had the vanilla bean frappe in my hand.

I let out a huff, I don’t remember ever picking it up.

I was tempted to throw it away. I wanted to throw it away. However, my stomach growled as I walked towards the trash can. “I mean…It would be a waste.” And on that note, I peeled the remaining plastic from on top the straw and sipped the sweet, cold drink. My nerves chilled at the calming taste, instantly relaxing. The thinnest smile trembled on my lips. Of course, he’d think food would be the best way to go.

I sipped on my drink as I slowly walked back to my dorm, thinking to myself. This chance thing was going to be hard. I guess I never did move on.

My eyes down casted at the though. But…I didn’t understand. I wasn’t scared to go out to eh bar with him, nor was I scared to be in his presence. But now…I feel terrified being in public with him.

I let out everything to him. I finally got everything off my chest that I’d been holding in for years. I even cried in front of him. So, why do I suddenly feel afraid of him? I should feel relieved…right?

I sighed as I reached my dorm, not knowing when or how I even got there so fast. I unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing myself in.

Maybe I’m afraid because he knows. He knows everything now…He wants to fix it.

Maybe I’m afraid because I know what he can do. I’m afraid to open up to him again. I’m afraid I’ll get comfortable for past friendship’s sake. I’m afraid of his words, because he was sincere. And it was scary how sincere and determined he is.

 

Later, that evening as I unpacked my satchel I found a thick white paperback book tucked in between my laptop and journal. I scrunched my brow as I pulled it out.

It was an art book.

My eyes slightly widened. It was a ‘How to Draw Animals’ book. Like one of the ones I used to have back in elementary school.

I flipped through the book. It was brand new.

“How did this…” I thought for a bit, confused as to how this even got in my bag. “I didn’t even check out a…” my voice trailed in realization. “…Daehyun.”

He had to have slipped it in my bag. He was helping me pack my stuff and…he’s the only one who knows about me having used to draw animals.

I shook my head, dropping the book onto my desk. “Really?” What was he thinking?

I looked at the note on the wall that I left for myself. “What am I going to do?”

 

-

 

That week I spent most of my time purposefully avoiding Daehyun. It wasn’t that hard considering that we only had one class together. But he still had his ways. He’d leave some sort of art clipping on my desk with some quote from one of my favorite painters.

But he did stop trying to say hi to me. Instead, he’d wait for me to make eye contact with him before giving me a gentle smile. In return I avoided even looking at him. If he was in my line of sight, I would tilt my head down or look to the side.

In a way, I kind of felt bad. I was supposed to at least listen or watch or whatever. But instead I was covering my ears and shutting my eyes. “Ugh! Why is this so hard?!” I groaned, dropping my head on the picnic table that we sat at for lunch in the school’s courtyard.

“Youngjae?” Yoseob’s eyes widened at my sudden action. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I groaned.

The elder looked at me unconvinced.

“Sorry.” I said, sitting up. “I think I’m just thinking too deeply into things.” I sighed, leaning my chin on the palm of my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?” Yoseob offered.

“No.” I declined. “It’s nothing.”

“He’s having relationship issues.” Junhyung stated nonchalantly.

I frowned at him.

Yoseob perked a little bit, looking at the elder who was still focused on his lunch. “How do you know?” he questioned. “I just know. It’s obvious.” Was his response.

I scoffed at this, slight insecurity creeping in my mind. Was I really that obvious?

Yoseob shook his head but turned back to me. “Is this true?”

“What relationship problems could I possibly have?” I said, not wanting to bother him about it. This was something I had to figure out on my own. Junhyung raised an eyebrow at this.

Yoseob pouted his lips slightly, becoming more concerned, “Are you sure?”

I nodded.

However, he still wasn’t convinced, but before he could say anything, two of the student council members walked up to our table. “Hey guys. We just finished setting up the games and prep for this year’s fall festival. It’s open, so you’re free to check it out.” Bora greeted.

“Oh, I forgot about the fall festival. We’ll definitely check it out. Thanks.” Yoseob smiled at the student council president. “Great! It’ll be open from today all the way through Saturday. I hope you guys have fun.” Soyou beamed before the two walked away.

“The fall festivals are always fun. Bora impresses me every year.” Yoseob said more to himself. “Do you guys wanna go?” He asked us.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Junhyung said, already standing up.

“You guys can go. I’ll catch up with you later.” I said.

Yoseob gave me a concerned look. “Alright. See ya.” Junhyung said, pulling Yoseob with him before he could protest or say anything.

He got the hint. Thanks, Junhyung. I thought to myself.

I pulled out the note from my satchel, of the quote that Daehyun left on my desk today.

‘Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist…’

I unfolded the rest of the note.

‘The mind loves the unknown. It loves images whose meaning is unknown, since the meaning of the mind itself is unknown.’ -Rene Magritte.

This was one of my favorite quotes. Not just about art but in general.

 

-7 Years Ago-

“I can’t believe we’re gonna be in high school soon.” Daehyun said bouncing his basketball around. The two young teens were upstairs in Youngjae’s bedroom of the Yoo home. “Yeah.” Youngjae said half-heartedly, carefully peeling the drawings off his wall.

“I can’t wait. I’m going to try out for the basketball team.” Daehyun babbled on.

Youngjae’s hands trembled as he placed his drawings on his desk.

“I think I can make the team. Do you think so? I could be the MVP if I work hard enough.” Daehyun said. The more he spoke, the more excited he became. “Yeah…you could.” Youngjae said not paying much attention to his friend’s enthusiasm.

Daehyun spun the basketball on his pointer finger, smiling to himself, “Yeah, I think so too.”

“I go next year. But you’ll still be in middle school. But don’t worry. I’ll tell you all about it.” The 14-year-old went on.

“Mm hmm…” Youngjae hummed, crumbling the sheet of paper.

“You just have to promise that you won’t miss…uh, Youngjae, what are you doing?” The elder turned to face the 13-year-old in the middle of throwing his drawings away. Daehyun’s eyes widened, “Wh-What are you doing? Why are you throwing away your drawings?” he asked.

Youngjae dropped his papers and plopped on the chair. “My parents want me to quit the art club.” He confessed.

Daehyun put down the basketball and walked over to the mess of papers. He bent down and began to pick them up. “So, are you going to?” He asked.

“I have no choice.” Youngjae whimpered. “They want me to join some science or math club or even a sport. They said I need to start thinking about my future since I’ll be in high school soon. And they said art won’t get my anywhere, that it’s a distraction from what’s really important.”

Daehyun chuckled at this, throwing the younger off guard. “So, you’re going to quit?”

Youngjae was silent for a bit, biting his bottom lip.

“I don’t think you should quit.” Daehyun smiled, stacking the papers neatly onto the desk.

Youngjae’s eyes slightly widened, “And go against my parents?” Just the thought frightened him.

“No. Just stay in art club and join another club.”

Youngjae pouted his lips. He rested his elbow on the desk and placed his chin in the palm of his hand. “I guess.” He said, not fully convinced.

Daehyun turned and sat down on the foot of Youngjae’s bed, leaning on his palms. “Besides, even if you quit art club. Why would you throw away your drawings? You’re not thinking about quitting that either…are you?” He asked suspiciously.

“I’m going to have to eventually.” Youngjae murmured.

Daehyun was surprised by this. “But you can’t quit. That’s what you love to do!” He nearly exclaimed. “I have to. Apparently its worthless. What can I do with it?” Youngjae sighed in frustration.

Daehyun studied his friend, seeing how dejected the younger was. He didn’t want to quit, but he was concerned about his future and what his parents thought. His parents were strict.

Daehyun thought carefully to himself, wanting to save his friend from a life of misery. “You can’t quit. Art is important. Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.” He popped.

Youngjae was surprised by his words, not expecting that kind of perspective. He looked at him suspiciously, “You didn’t come up with that yourself.” He accused.

“Of course, I did.” Daehyun smiled cheekily.

Youngjae only gave him an unconvinced look.

“What? You don’t think I’m smart enough to come up with that?” Daehyun questioned.

Youngjae tapped his chin, “I didn’t say that.”

Daehyun scoffed. “You’re thinking it.” He muttered.

The 13-year-old only smiled.

“Anyway, I had to do a project on this Belgian painter, named Rene Magritte. And that was one of the quotes I found by him.” He explained.

“That sounds more believable.” Youngjae teased. “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

“The mind loves the unknown. It loves images whose meaning is unknown, since the meaning of the mind itself is unknown.” Daehyun quoted.

Youngjae just looked at him. “what does that even mean?”

Daehyun shrugged, jumping off the bed, walking back over to the 13-year-old boy. “It means that you shouldn’t quit your passion…even if the future of it is unknown.”

“Plus, I don’t want you to quit. I like your drawings.” Daehyun added.

Youngjae felt his cheeks warm at this. “I guess you’re right.” He said, looking down at the stack of papers on his desk. “Aish, Youngjae. You’re so dramatic.” Daehyun laughed, ruffling his younger friend’s hair.

“Yah!” Youngjae blushed, shoving Daehyun’s hands away. He hated when people touched his hair, but the elder’s touch was warm. Daehyun only laughed, jumping back onto the bed, spreading his limbs. “Yah! Get off my bed. You’re dirty.” Youngjae demanded.

He hopped off his seat to pull him off his bed, only to have the elder boy pull him onto the bed next to him. Youngjae huffed in defeat, “Now I have to wash my sheets again.” He muttered.

Daehyun laughed at his peculiar friend, “Besides, there’s a ton of things you can do with art. You can be an architect. You can do something in design. O-Oh! You can even draw manga!” Daehyun listed, getting excited again.

Youngjae chuckled, “I can’t do that.”

“Yeah you can. It’ll be so cool! I’d read all of them.” Daehyun went on.

Youngjae slightly blushed at this.

“You’d be famous…” Daehyun paused, “But you can’t forget to draw a picture of me.”

“Huh?” Youngjae was thrown off by the request.

“You haven’t drawn a picture of me yet, your best friend. But it’s okay, I’ll wait. Good art takes time. But when you draw me, make me look tall and cool, and wearing a basketball uniform. No, draw me wearing the high school uniform, because I’m going to be on the team.” Daehyun said with much determination.

“I only draw what I see.” Youngjae teased.

Daehyun scoffed, “Then you should draw what I told you with ease.” He retorted.

“Okay Daehyun.” Youngjae said sarcastically.

Daehyun his side, facing the younger teen, scooting closer to him. “What do I need to do? Do you need to study me before you can draw it?” He questioned.

“No.” Youngjae tried to chuckle his nerves away, pushing the elder away from him. Little did the elder know that he’d already to draw his childhood friend, but they all ended up in the trash. He couldn’t imitate what was already perfect in his eyes. Daehyun rolled onto his back. “Okay, I’ll wait.” He said.

Youngjae raised a slight eyebrow, “Do you really want me to draw you that bad?” He asked curiously.

“Of course. You’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?” Daehyun answered. Youngjae’s cheeks burned at his words. “You should want to draw me. I’d make a great model.” Daehyun inputted.

Youngjae rolled his eyes. He smiled. He was glad he had a friend like Daehyun. He didn’t know what he’d do without him. He might’ve become some sort of puppet or robot to his parents. He wouldn’t have a mind of his own.

“Youngjae! Let’s go out tonight.” Daehyun suddenly sat up, an idea coming to mind.

Youngjae slowly sat up as well, “To where?”

“To the convenient store and buy spray paint. And then we can go throughout the city spray painting murals and stuff. It’ll be awesome!”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

Daehyun shrugged, “We just gotta do it in places that’s not illegal.” He simply said.

The younger looked at him unconvinced, “I’m not doing anything illegal. I’m too young to go to jail.”

“Fine.” Daehyun said, sliding off the bed. “But let’s at least check out some street art.”

“Why?” Youngjae questioned.

“To help inspire you.” Daehyun winked. “Now stop asking so many questions and come on.” With that he grabbed Youngjae’s wrist and pulled him off the bed, out the door.

-End of Flashback-

 

I dropped my satchel on the floor by the door, shutting it behind me. I was exhausted. It was more mental than anything else.

I did go to the festival with Yoseob and Junhyung for a little bit. It was actually pretty nice. There were tons of activities and even a couple of small rides. The student council really did step it up this year. It was a nice distraction.

I glanced at the shopping bag on my desk, that haunted me all week. I don’t know why I keep procrastinating. Each time I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“This is ridiculous.” I muttered to myself pulling out my cell phone.

 

‘I’m on my way. I’m dropping off your clothes.’

 

There’s no reason for this to be so difficult. I’m just returning his stuff. Nothing more.

 

‘Okay. See you soon. :)'

 

I shoved my phone in my back pocket. Just in and out. That’s it.

With that note, I grabbed the shopping bag and went straight out the door before any other thought could stop me.

 

I walked towards his apartment, already having memorized the way there. It wasn’t a long walk, but I arrived at his front door sooner than I had expected…and hoped.

 

I took a deep breath and knocked on the dark brown door. I forced myself to straighten up. At least don’t let him see your fear.

Seconds later, the door swung open, greeting me with a warm smile. “Hi.” I forced a strong, but awkward hello.

“Hey.” He chuckled lightly. “Do you want to come in?” he asked, opening the door wider.

“No!” I accidentally spat.

He looked at me, surprised by my reaction.

“I-I uh…no, no thank you. I cursed myself for slipping. Great job Youngjae. “H-here. I brought your clothes. Thanks.” I said handing him the bag.

Daehyun took the bag silently. “I already washed and dried them. Sorry it took so long. I was…busy…” I said, unable to look at him properly. He opened the bag and looked inside of it, pulling out the ‘How to draw animals’ art booklet.

“Well…bye.” I said, stealing the chance to take my leave before I embarrassed myself any more.

“Youngjae…” he said before I could turn to leave.

I finally looked up at him for the first time, and the smile on his face was gone. He was now concerned. “…did I hurt you that much?” He asked softly.

I froze, the question throwing me off guard.

“I noticed…the last few times I approached you, after the project, you seemed scared.” He said.

My eyes slightly widened.

“It did more than that.” I confessed quietly.

There was no point in lying. We had been friends for too long for him not to see through my lies. “I’m sorry.” He sighed.

I listened carefully.

“After thinking about it, there’s no way I can make it up to you, except for making you happy.” He pulled the drawing book and held it out to me. “Here, take it. It’s my gift to you. If I’m the cause of you stopping your passion, then I want to help you get it back. I know how much art meant to you and how happy it made you. I could see it.”

“And, I don’t want to be the one that takes that happiness from you. So, I’ll do what I can to make that a happy memory for you again. And after that…I’ll leave you alone. So, please take this.” He said earnestly.

I looked down at the book then back at him. The sincerity and determination were prominent in his eyes. His hold was firm on the book. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He never did.

I took a deep breath and took the book from his hands. “Ok.” I said. “I don’t know how you’re gonna do it, but okay.”

A small smile grew on his face, “Well, the mind loves the unknown.” He quoted.

I nodded, “Bye Daehyun.”

“See you later Youngjae.”

 

I didn’t return straight to my dorm. I walked around the streets for a little bit, thinking to myself, the book tucked securely under my left arm. My hands in my pocket. The quote being the only thing my mind kept returning to. I guess the only way to really move on is to let go. Stop thinking and observe. Let my mind be drawn to the unknown possibilities.

 

-

 

The following morning I woke up early, changed, prepared for school as usual and went straight to the school’s café, where I usually ate my breakfast.

“Morning Youngjae.” The cashier greeted as I walked up to the counter. “Morning Jongup.” I greeted.

“You came just in time. I was worried that it was gonna melt by the time you got here.” He said.

“Huh?” I said, not understanding by what he meant.

He dsappeared for a little bit before returning with a small plastic cup and brown paper bag. “One small vanilla bean frappe and a cheese and egg bagel.” He announced, handing me the two items.

I scrunched my brow in confusion, “I hadn’t ordered yet.”

“Somebody came in a few minutes ago and ordered your usual.” He told me.

I stood there not understanding.

“He said it was for you. He paid for it and everything.” Jongup continued, handing me the receipt.

I looked at the receipt then back at Jongup. “He? Was it Yoseob?” I questioned.

“mm no. I don’t know his name. I’ve seen him around before though. I think he’s a senior. I just assumed that he was one of your friends.” Jongup said innocently.

I paused. There was only one other person who’d do this…but how did he know? “I think I know who it was. Thanks.” I smiled at him. “No problem. Have a great day!” He beamed.

 

-

 

 

For the rest of that year, I had free breakfast. Without fail Daehyun brought me my usual before I could even make it to the café. Sometimes he switched it up depending on the season. He even somehow managed to leave a bottle of apple juice on my desk on the days I was running late for class. There was also always a small vanilla bean Frappuccino on the back-corner table of the library, every Saturday morning.

On the days I was sick, he texted and emailed me all the work from all of my classes. It amazed me how fast he was able to do it. He continued to leave quotes on my desk from famous painters in our English class we had together.

I kept the notes and pinned them on my wall above my bed.

Each month he would leave some sort of art related book on the library table with the frappe, whether it was a ‘How to…’, a biography of an artist, and even a sketch book.

I never read the books, except for the very first one he gave me…just to reminisce a little. But I did doodle here and there in the sketch book…it was hard to resist.

The food and little books surprisingly made me feel some kind of joy. It was nice not having to pay for breakfast and having a little treat at the library. And the books were tempting. But what impressed me the most was his persistence and consistency. My fear went away.

By the time second semester rolled by, we were saying hi to each other. Well…he initiated it first, but I returned the greeting without feeling fearful…but it was kind of awkward.

Though it was still awkward I was finally able to focus on myself. I let go and forgave him. There was no point in holding a grudge, especially after he realized what he did wrong. Holding a grudge would only be hurting myself. And surprisingly…it felt good.

 

-

 

“Are you crying?” I asked Yoseob as we sat back down after cheering for Junhyung when he walked the stage. “No. I just got a bug in my eye. There’s a lot out here.” Yoseob sniffled.

“I think you might’ve gotten some in your nose too then.” I teased.

He shoved me lightly. “I’m not crying.” He murmured. “You totally are. You’re such a er.” I laughed teasingly. He just wiped his eyes, ignoring me.

We watched the rest of the seniors walk the stage, followed by a few more speeches before waiting for them with our gifts at the front of the school.

“I can’t believe that’s going to be us next year.” Yoseob said as we waited. I nodded in agreement. “It’s going by so fast.” He pouted his lips.

“I thought you said you couldn’t wait to graduate.” I reminded.

“Yeah, I still am. I can’t wait to do what I love, but I’m still going to miss it here. Our lives are going to be so dif-Ah! Yah!” He was suddenly interrupted by someone spinning him around.

Junhyung immediately planted a kiss on the younger’s lips.

“Junhyung!” Yoseob gasped, pushing the elder away.

“Hey Youngjae.” Junhyung greeted with a cheeky grin.

I rolled my eyes. “Congrats.” I decided to say instead.

“Thanks.” He said.

“Here, I got you a little gift for being able to handle both school and football.” I handed him the book I bought. He took the book and examined it.

A crooked grin formed on his lips as a slight laughter slipped from between them. Yoseob raised a curious eyebrow at this. “I know you’re not one to read, but I figured you’d be interested.” I shrugged.

“Thanks. I think I’ll enjoy it too. This might actually be my favorite gift. Not bad Jae.” He nodded, impressed.

“What is it?” Yoseob questioned, trying to peek at the book, but Junhyung hid the cover. “Nothing.” He smiled.

The younger frowned, but decided not to push it. “I got you a gift too!” He perked excitedly, about to take his out when the elder stopped him. “I don’t want it.”

Yoseob blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“I said, I don’t want a gift from you.”

Yoseob was flustered, “But I wanted to give you one. And I already-,”

“Shhh, the only gift I want is you.” Junhyung interrupted, pecking a kiss on his lips.

I playfully gagged at this.

“You can give it to me later. But now, I have to find my parents.” Junhyung said. “Ugh, whatever.” Yoseob muttered, a light blush stuck on his cheeks.

“I’ll see you guys later.” I said, deciding that it was time for me to leave. “We’ll see you at the party tonight, right?” Yoseob said.

“Yeah. I’ll be there.” I promised.

“Great. See ya then, and thanks for the gift.” Junhyung waved as I began to walk away. “You’re welcome.” I waved back, watching them walk in the other direction in search of Junhyung’s family. I chuckled to myself…they were cute…. annoyingly cute.

 

I didn’t get far when someone stopped me, stepping in my path. “You’re here!” He said, sounding too excited for his own good.

I knew I was going to bump into him one way or another. That’s just how the world worked for me.

I looked up at him, “Yeah. I was watching my friend graduate.” I said.

“Ah~…” he nodded in understanding.

I nodded, “Congratulations by the way.” I said, giving him a warm smile. “Thanks.” He gleamed.

“No. Thank you.” I said.

Daehyun looked at me a bit surprised.

“Here.” I said, handing him the sketch book.

His eyes slightly widened. “You’re giving this back?”

“No. I’m giving it to you, as a graduation gift.” I said.

He carefully opened the sketchbook and a small smile grew on his face.

“I didn’t look at any of the other books you got me, except for the first one and the sketchbook.” I confessed as he looked through the pages, this smile growing with each turn. “Whatever you did, it worked. Thanks to you I’m now questioning my major with one year left.” I said.

“Well, I can help you with that.” He said, closing the sketchbook.

“I think I have enough quotes on my wall to steer me in the right direction.” I said, earning a slight chuckle. “Thank you. I’ll take good care of it.” His eyes gleamed brightly. “You’re welcome.” I returned the small smile.

“But I have a question.” I said, getting serious.

“Hm?”

“How did you know that vanilla bean was my favorite drink? And how did you know what breakfast I ate in the morning?” I quizzed.

Daehyun shrugged, “I just asked your friend.” He simply said. “Which friend?” I asked suspiciously, there was no way Junhyung would know that stuff.

“Yoseob.”

I frowned. Of course.

“He seemed excited about telling me. He also told me the days you were sick.” He went on.

Of course. There’s only one reason why he’d help out. That romantic-loving ba-, “Well, thank you. I know it wasn’t cheap.” I thanked again. “It was worth it in the end.” he said happily. “I just wish I had more time.”

I looked at him, “Well, you have my number, right?”

He nodded.

“Then, don’t let it go to waste.”

His eyes lit up at this, the same way they used to whenever he was overly excited. “Really?!”

“Sure, why not?” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling slightly embarrassed. “We’re bound to bump into each other again anyway. The universe works against me like that.”

“Thanks, Youngjae. This is the greatest gift I could ask for.” He suddenly said.

“Huh?” I didn’t quite understand what he meant.

“You smiling at me, because of me.” He said.

I felt myself pause at this, my cheeks feeling warm.

“You’re going to Junhyung’s party, right?” He asked, suddenly changing the subject.

“Y-Yeh. Why? Are you?”

He nodded, “It’s the least I could do after all their help.”

I kept myself from rolling my eyes. They’re both lucky that I couldn’t kill them right now. “I guess I’ll see you then.” I said.

He nodded.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. Oh, how the universe works. “I’ll let you get going. Bye.” I said.

“See you later Youngjae."

 

 

 

A/N:

Here is the sequel! I hope you liked it! It was kind of hard writing it. I wasn't originally planning on making a sequel so I had no idea what was going to happen next lol. It didn't turn out completely how I wanted, I felt like there could have been more. But I couldn't think of anything. :( But! I hope you enjoyed this sequel, I did enjoy writing.

Thanks for reading! I do have an epilogue coming up for this, so it's not over just yet.

Comments and critiques are always welcome!