It was 4AM the last time Younghyun looked at the clock by his nightstand. But now, he can see the sunlight peeking through his curtain. “Great,” he muttered. “You have a deal to close today yet you decided to spend your night staring at your celing. You ed up again.” The hint of bitterness while talking to himself is evident in his voice.

 

Last night, Younghyun thought that Dowoon will finally ask him out. Officially. They’ve been ‘dating’ for two years now. However, they had no labels. Neither did Younghyun felt assured by the younger. He thought he will be able to hold Dowoon’s hands and address to him as his boyfriend when they’re out with their friends. Boy, was he wrong.

 

Dowoon dropped by last night in Younghyun’s apartment with the things that he really loves; banana milk from the convenient store where they always go at nighttime, the only time they can get together since they’re both busy from their works, the cupcakes they both enjoy eating on the Saturday nights they’re both free, and the bread that Younghyun loves.

 

Younghyun thought something special was bound to happen because it all happened in a Wednesday night. He thought.. thought..

 

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

 

It still echoes in his head.

 

“I want this to end. I can’t see us going anywhere.”

 

His heart hurts again. He closes his eyes before letting out a long sigh. He has to get up.

 

“I appreciate you, hyung. Everything you do. I admire you so much.”

 

A scoff can be heard in the hallway as he drags his feet to prepare himself. Where did he go wrong?

 

“If I was given the chance, I will never let you go.”

 

He wanted to scream at the younger and ask him why is he letting him go? He wanted to ask him a lot of questions but silence..

 

“You’d be happy without me. I know it.”

 

He left him speechless that night. How can he talk for himself?

 

“I feel like I’m stopping you from all of the opportunities that are given to you.”

 

The bag that Dowoon brought last night is still in the same spot where he left it last night. ‘Why is he making me suffer more?’ Younghyun thought.

 

“Maybe that’s why I haven’t asked you out.”

 

Silence.

 

“I’m so sorry, hyung. I wish I can explain more..but I can’t. It’s hard. I’m sorry.”

 

And then he left.

 

Those were all that Younghyun remembered. Is that it? Is that where their 2 years is going down to the drain? 

 

Silence, again.

 

“I deserve more than that.” Younghyun said to himself before going on to prepare for his day.