And if it ends can we be friends?

 

Luhan was naive to think that his first relationship would last. He should have known better. They always said young love wasn’t meant to last but he didn’t listen. He thought that Sehun and him would be of the few that would break that stereotype. He thought their love would last through the years to come. He had pictured them graduating high school together, going off to college, and spending the rest of his days with Sehun. But all that was over now. It was done and over with. A thing of the past that he needed to move on from. And yet the bitter taste in his mouth wouldn’t go away.

 

They had been broken up for a month now and Luhan still couldn’t help feeling angry. He felt cheated. It wasn’t that they broke up badly. It was mutual. Sort of. Luhan had just suggested they should break up. He had wanted Sehun to finally acknowledge the problems they were having. Instead Sehun had agreed. At that point Luhan thought it would be pointless to fight for a relationship that was clearly on its deathbed and then it was over. Just like that. It hurt. It stung. Knowing that he had tried so hard and all he wanted was for Sehun to fight for them to. But Sehun didn’t. He just let their relationship end. Luhan let out a tired sigh.

 

He was on his way to school trying so hard not to think of his failed relationship when he suddenly felt someone tap him on his shoulder. He instantly stopped walking  to look at whoever just tapped him and to his complete shock and horror he came face to face with Sehun. Sehun smiled politely at him but then his face changed to one of concern.

 

“Hey are you okay?” he heard Sehun ask and then he realized he must have just been stupidly staring at the other.

 

Shaking himself mentally he answered “I uhh yeah I’m fine…”

 

“You sure? You just stared at me liked you’d seen a ghost or something” Sehun replied ruffling his hair clearly feeling a little awkward.

 

“Well I mean you did just appear out of nowhere and well it's not like I was really expecting to see you.” Luhan replied annoyed. He had literally not spoken to the other in a month. Was he not allowed to be surprised that his ex-boyfriend just suddenly appeared next to him?

 

“Right.” Sehun replied looking away from him.

 

Luhan rolled his eyes. Sehun was so dumb sometimes. Maybe their relationship being over was for the best. Luhan didn’t want Sehuns dumbness to rub off on him.

 

He let out an audible sigh instantly getting Sehuns attention “Look you tapped me so is there anything you wanted? I have class in like fifteen minutes and we’re not even near school yet.”

Sehun his lips a habit that Luhan had thought was cute once but now only thought it was annoying.

 

Sehun shifted on his feet and held onto the straps of his backpack before speaking “Yeah I was just wondering if maybe you know we could…”

 

Luhan's heart sped up. Was Sehun really going to say get back together? Did Luhan want to try again?

 

“If we could be friends” Sehun finished. Luhan's heart immediately sank. Oh. Well maybe Sehun's dumb-ness had rubbed on him. he thought internally.

 

“I’m sorry what?” he asked confused because honestly he just needed to make sure this wasn’t some weird illusion or that he had really gone insane.

 

“I know we broke up and stuff and it's weird but I mean it’s not like we can’t be friends..” Sehun explained but Luhan still didn’t get it. Was he being pranked?

 

Luhan bit his lip “I guess but why?”

 

Sehun let out a sigh “ I guess I just don’t like seeing you avoiding me and having to walk on eggshells around you. I don’t hate you and I mean we both agreed right so I just thought since there are no hard feelings we can still be friends”

 

Luhan blinked at Sehun completely bewildered. He could not believe he was having this conversation. He also couldn't believe that he was contemplating it.  But Sehun did have a point they both did agree and as much as Luhan wasn’t happy with how it ended he didn’t hate Sehun.

 

“I totally get if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure I just...I thought hey maybe we weren’t good at being a couple but maybe we would be better off as friends…” Sehun said while looking at Luhan.

 

Luhan could see how uncomfortable Sehun was. As much as he hated to admit it Luhan also knew that Sehun was being sincere. So taking a deep breath he looked at Sehun and said

 

“Alright Sehun. Let’s be friends.”

 

Sehun’s eyes widened in surprise before quickly smiling. “Awesome!”

 

Luhan couldn’t help the smile forming on his own lips. He shook his head in amusement before walking past Sehun. Sehun easily caught up to him and matched his pace. Luhan looked over at him and raised an eyebrow at Sehun.

“What are you doing Sehun?”

 

“Walking to school with you what does it look like I’m doing?” Sehun replied with a shrug. The smile he had given Luhan before never leaving his lips.

 

Luhan his lips and faced forward “Because we’re friends now right?”

 

“Yup.” Sehun replied.

 

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes. Luhan welcomed it. It wasn’t awkward or as awkward as he thought it should be. Maybe it was because he had become used to Sehun’s presence while they had been in a relationship. Or maybe because there really weren’t bitter feeling between them. He wasn’t sure what being friends with Sehun would entail but maybe it would be better than them being boyfriends.

 

“So how you been?” Sehun asked immediately pulling Luhan out his thoughts.

 

“Fine I guess.” Luhan replied easily.

 

“I uhh heard they made you captain of the soccer team and that you’re president of the student council.” Sehun said kicking a small pebble as they walked. Luhan was a little surprised that Sehun would know that. Then again it’s not like they were from different circles. They basically shared the same group of friends.

 

“Yup. Heard you’re the new basketball captain…”Luhan said. He remembered how hard Sehun had worked over the summer just to be ready for the next season. Just like soccer was Luhan's passion basketball was Sehuns. When they were dating they’d go to each others games. He wondered if that was something they could do as friends? Or would it be weird?

 

“Yeah” Sehun said with a bright smile “I’m really excited for the season to start.”

 

“I bet.” Luhan said wanting to laugh at Sehuns enthusiasm.

 

They were now approaching the gates of the school. Luhan could see his friends by the steps and on the other side under a tree were Sehuns friends.  

 

Without realizing they both looked over at each other and made eye contact quickly looking away.

 

“I’ll see-”

 

“I guess-”

They both started to say but cut each other off. It was quiet for a second before both of them looked at each other and laughed.

 

“Sorry..what were you going to say?” Sehun asked.

 

“It’s totally fine umm I was just gonna say I’ll see you around since you know we’re like at school and my friends are waiting for me.” Luhan said looking at Sehun.

 

Sehun nodded and adjusted the straps on his backpack “Right well see you around Luhan.”

 

And that was it. They each went their separate ways. As awkward as it was it definitely could have been worse Luhan thought to himself.  He made his way over to his friends and noticed they were all staring at him with various degrees of curiosity and judgement.

 

As he got closer he waved and called out “Whats up?”

 

It was Xiumin who answered him “Did you and Sehun walk here together?”

 

Luhan blinked at his best friend. So they had been able to see him and Sehun walking in.

 

“Yeah?” Luhan replied not liking the frown on his friends face.

 

“Why?” Yixing asked genuine curiosity etched in his voice.

 

Luhan looked at him and bit his lip. He knew his friends were going to flip. Especially Baekhyun who had just been staring (glaring) at him as soon as he had approached them.

 

“Is there a rule that says I shouldn’t?” Luhan asked and immediately regretted it because Baekhyun let out a humorless laugh.

 

“Well isn’t that cute? No my precious Lulu there isn’t a rule but there is this little thing called common sense.”

 

Luhan sighed. He knew why his friends were acting like this. Even if Luhan had somewhat moved on from his break up his friends hadn’t. His friends hated Sehun. It didn’t matter to them that they broke it off mutually.  To them Sehun was a jerk for not appreciating Luhan. And so taking a deep breath Luhan looked straight at Baekhyun.

 

“Baek..”

 

“Uh uh...no Luhan please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say” Baekhyun said crossing his arms in front of his chest.

 

“Wait you lost me...what’s going on?” Yixing said looking confusedly at Luhan and Baekhyun.

Xiumin rolled his eyes “I think Luhan’s about to tell us he did something stupid.”

 

Luhan wiped his head  around to look at Xiumin “Hey! That’s mean! I didn’t do anything stupid.”

 

Xiumin raised an eyebrow at him “Okay then please explain yourself.”

 

Luhan bit his lip and pulled on his backpack straps feeling uncomfortable.

 

Baekhyun shook his head in disapproval “Luhan please please tell me you and Sehun aren’t back together.”

 

Yixing gasped, finally on the same page as Xiumin and Baekhyun.

 

“No!” Luhan exclaimed then mumbled “We’re just friends”

 

But of course his friends didn’t understand him.

 

“Wait what?” Yixing asked.

 

“I said...Sehun and me are friends now.” he whispered.

 

Xiumin and Baekhyun both exchanged glances “Did you hear what I heard?”

 

Baekhyun nodded and Yixing just looked more confused than before.

 

Luhan gritted his teeth annoyed at his friends. They had no right to judge him or make him feel stupid so he balled his hands into fists and glared at them “You guys are s. No I am not back with Sehun. He walked me to school and asked if we could be friends. If you guys have a problem with that it because I don’t think this is stupid or a bad idea.”

 

They all stared at him in shock and not wanting to deal with them any longer Luhan marched into the school.

 

It took three periods before Luhan finally spoke to his friends again. They all apologized for being rude but made no promises to trust Sehun. Luhan had laughed at how protective his friends could be and accepted their apologies. They were all in the cafeteria now enjoying their lunch when they were approached by none other than Sehun and his friends. One of them being Chanyeol who was Baekhyuns boyfriend.

 

Baekhyun threw a glare at both Chanyeol and Sehun as they took seats at  their table. Luhan looked at all of them slightly surprised. They hadn’t all sat together ever since the break up. Both sets of friends had gotten along great before but out of sworn loyalty they stopped talking after the break up. If Luhan missed anything it was all of them eating lunch together. He loved his best friends but he also liked the dynamic they all had with Sehuns close friends.

 

It was Kai who sat right next to Luhan and spoke first “Y'all don’t mind if we sit here right?”

 

Yixing smiled brightly at Kai “Of course not.”

 

“Wait no. Just why the do you guys want to sit with us?” Baekhyun asked.

 

“Aww babe don’t you want to eat lunch together?” Chanyeol asked causing Kai and Tao to laugh.

 

Baekhyun turned to glare at his boyfriend “No. Not if that over there is sitting here to”

 

“Baek!” Yixing exclaimed not liking the situation.

 

Luhan just rolled his eyes. Baekhyun could be a real drama queen sometimes. He knew that it was all a front.

 

“Aww Baekhyun come on. Luhan isn’t even mad at me. Right Lu?” Sehun said looking at Luhan expectantly.

 

Luhan looked at all of them and tried his best to swallow. He definitely chose the wrong time to stuff his face. Finally being able to swallow he spoke.

 

“Yeah. We’re fine”

 

“There you go. Now let us all enjoy our meals in peace” Tao said clapping his hands before picking up a fry and eating it.

 

Baekhyun looked unsatisfied but allowed his boyfriend to wrap an arm around his shoulders.  Luhan smiled amused and then met Sehuns gaze from across the table. He felt his heart pick up and silently hoped that this friendship wouldn’t be another mistake he’d regret later on.

 

As the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months Luhan was happy to say that being friends with Sehun had not turned out to be a mistake.  It had actually made going to school a lot easier. There wasn’t this constant anxiety of accidentally running into Sehun. There were no bitter feelings anymore that would make him dread having to see the other living life to the fullest because he was living his in the same way. They were good. Sehun would walk with him to school and they’d chat about the most trivial of things. They all ate lunch together and joked around. Sometimes they would meet up on fridays at someone's house and let loose. It was great. It was like they were able to skip all the immature high school drama.

 

But Luhan couldn’t lie to himself. There were moments where he would get the strongest urge to hug or kiss Sehun. Moments where he’d almost forget that they were just friends and nothing more. And sometimes there were moments where it felt like Sehun would forget to.  It was there in the way Sehun would stare at Luhan for a little too long.Or when they would celebrate a winning score and the first person either of them would try to find in the crowd was each other. Luhan didn’t like it. He didn’t like that he still held some feelings for the other but being friends was his best choice. He didn’t want to go back to a life where he and Sehun were nothing. He also didn’t want to act out on his urges because they’d already done the dating thing and it hadn’t worked out.  With no other real options Luhan decided to push his emotions aside. He only prayed that time would help him forget.

 

Sehun was an idiot. A complete moron. But he wasn’t entirely to blame for his stupid ideas. It was his immaturity and young age that made him do idiotic things. That and a group of friends who were all young and as immature as he was who encouraged all his dumb ideas. Ideas like asking Luhan to be friends because eventually they could end up together again. But if anything being friends with Luhan only served to be torture to Sehun's poor heart.

 

It was painful to be so close to the other and yet still be so far. Walking with Luhan in the mornings and not be able to hold his hand, sitting across the table from him at lunch and not being able to steal a quick kiss, watching Luhan's games and not be able to hug him because being Luhan's friend is all he can have and god he cannot screw this up. It was driving him insane.

 

“Guys I ed up” Sehun complained walking into Chanyeol's basement after walking Luhan home from school one day.

 

“Oh joy angsty boy has arrived” Tao said from his seat on the leather couch not bothering to look up from his book.

 

Sehun threw a glare at Tao and proceeded to throw himself onto one of Chanyeol's bean bag chairs.

 

“What did you do now Sehun? Lu catch you flirting with one of the cheerleaders or did you finally confess the real reason why you asked him to be your friend?” Kai asked smirking evilly at Sehun before going back to his game.

 

“First off you and second off where the is Chanyeol?” Sehun asked growing angrier by the second. These were supposed to be his best friends. The people that always had his back but so far all they were good for was to remind Sehun that he truly was alone in this world. Hopefully Chanyeol would be a better friend.

 

“He’s probably face his boyfriend.” Tao answered still not looking up from his book.

 

“Great and I’m stuck with you two s” Sehun sighed rubbing his face in frustration.

 

“Umm excuse you but we’re not s. To prove that ,why don’t you let us in on why you have ed up” Kai replied not even pausing his game.

 

Sehun opened his mouth to reply when suddenly Chanyeol finally made his appearance. But it wasn’t Chanyeol's appearance that cut Sehun off. No. It was the worried expression on his friends face that rendered him speechless. Thankfully he wasn’t the only one that noticed the giants odd behavior.

 

“What’s with you?” Tao asked looking up at Chanyeol curiously.

 

Sehun and Kai both waited for an answer but all they got was Chanyeol sighing loudly and then they all watched as he threw himself on the other side of the couch jostling Tao in the processes.

 

“Uhh bro...what’s wrong your scaring us…” Kai said giving Tao and Sehun panicked looks.

 

Sehun looked at his best friend and felt his heart sink. He had an idea of what could be bothering Chanyeol and he was honestly terrified of the other confirming his suspicions.

 

Chanyeol looked around the room then locked gazes with Sehun. It was the apology in the others eyes that made all the blood in Sehuns face go straight to his toes.

 

“We um we have a problem…”

 

“Problem? What problem?” Tao asked looking between Sehun and Chanyeol.

 

“Is this what you were trying to tell us when you walked in Sehun?” Kai asked.

 

“So you know?!” Chanyeol exclaimed with wide eyes. Sehun his lips unable to find his voice. Up until a while ago he thought there was still hope for him but now with the way Chanyeol was freaking it out he knew he was ed.

 

“Know what! What is going on?!” Kai yelled but Sehun and Chanyeol remained quiet.

 

Just two weeks ago Luhan,as student council president, had been assigned to help some new kid get adjusted to their school. This of course was nothing to get worked up about. Sehun knew Luhan's duties and he knew that Luhan was a kind friendly soul who would try his best to make this new kid comfortable. The problem wasn’t even that the guy was to Sehun's misfortune pretty good looking and had more than half the school swooning over him. It was only partly a problem because he didn’t know whether or not Luhan found him attractive and he couldn’t ask the other without sounding jealous. Regardless of that the big problem was Sehun could tell the new guy liked Luhan. He could see it in the way the other seemed to hang off of Luhan's every word and the way he just looked at Luhan. It was enough to make Sehun ball his hands into fist and clench his teeth. But he couldn’t really do anything because Luhan was not his boyfriend.

 

Even knowing that the new guy liked Luhan was okay until Sehun got wind that the guy wanted to ask Luhan to the upcoming school dance. Which wouldn’t have been a problem if he hadn't heard some girls on the student council say Luhan might really say yes.

 

And now Sehun was sure Baekhyun must have just told Chanyeol what was going on. That could be the only reason why the friendly happy giant was looking pale.

 

“Would you two idiots please quit staring at each other and explain what is going on?” Tao shouted forcing both Chanyeol and Sehun out of their trances.

 

Sehun tried his best to find his voice but it was Chanyeol who finally spoke.

 

“I...Baekhyun told me that the new guy Kris...he uhh he asked Luhan to next weeks dance...and Luhan...Luhan said yes”

 

There it was. The confirmation that Sehun had dreaded all day. How could Luhan not tell him anything on their walk home…? They may not be together but they were friends...friends told each other stuff like going to dances...right?

 

“Ohh...damn...wait Sehun didn’t you just get back from walking Luhan home? He didn't say anything to you?” Kai asked

 

Still not able to find his voice Sehun shook his head no.

 

“Why would he? Not to be a but it really isn’t any of Sehuns business. They’re just friends...he told his best friends obviously but...he doesn’t have to tell Sehun or any of us if I’m being completely honest” Tao said giving Sehun an apologetic look.

 

“Okay….fine it… this doesn’t mean it's the end of the world…”Kai said moving closer to Sehun and patting his back.

 

“Kai’s right” Chanyeol replied getting up from his seat a determined look on his face.

“We just have to get you to that dance and make sure they don’t get a chance to be alone. And if we play our cards right the night can end with both of you together.”

 

“Or how about Sehun just tells him how he feels? Come on Sehun stop tip toeing around Luhan and just tell him how you really feel” Tao said giving Sehun his infamous judgement eyes.

 

Sehun let out an irritated groan “Because Tao...it's my fault we broke up in the first place. I need to win Luhan back before I ever tell him how I really feel. I ...don't want to lose any chance I have to get back together with him.”

 

“Look Sehun don’t get all sad on us now. We’re gonna fix this...but Tao is right...the sooner you tell Luhan how you really feel the better it will be for you in the long run. For now we’ll focus on this dance but after that it’s all on you Sehun.” Kai said giving Sehun a reassuring smile.

 

Sehun bit his lip but nodded his head in agreement. His friends were right. He needed to stop being scared. The longer he waited the easier it would be for Luhan to get further and further away. Luhan accepting Kris’s invitation to the dance was proof enough that Sehun’s time was ticking.

 

It was two days before the school dance and like usual Sehun and Luhan were walking to school.

 

“So the school dance is coming up…” Luhan started surprising Sehun.

 

“Y-yeah…are you planning on going this year?” Sehun asked knowing the answer but wanting to see if anything had changed.

 

Luhan looked at him then and smiled his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. Sehun swallowed thickly. Well he was not expecting that reaction.

 

“I am...um Kris asked me”

 

“Oh… that’s cool. He seems like a nice person.”

 

“He is...are you going?”

 

“I’m not sure. You know school dances aren’t really thing”

 

“That’s right you’re super cool Oh Sehun and don’t do school dances” Luhan teased making Sehun roll his eyes.

 

“Hey I went last year…once is good enough I’d say” Sehun replied trying to defend himself. At the same time smiling internally at the memory. Luhan had looked stunning that night.

 

“You went because we made a bet and you lost.” Luhan smirked and Sehun shook his head in disbelief.

 

“Details.” Sehun replied fighting the smile that threatened to appear.

 

“Important ones if you ask me. But anyway...I think you should go.” Luhan replied catching Sehun off guard. Luhan had a date...why would he want Sehun there? Was he purposely trying to torture him?

 

“Why?” Sehun let the question slip. He hadn’t wanted to say that out loud.

 

“Because...we’re all going...you know Yixing, Baekhyun, Minseok, Kai, Tao and Chanyeol by default. Why stay at home when all your friends are at the dance?”

 

“Because my house has video games and better music…”

 

“You’re such a loser.”

 

“Nope. The only loser here is you because you want to go to some lame school dance.”

 

“Hey! Be nice….come on don’t you want to be the one to spike the punch?”

 

Sehun put a hand to his chest in fake shock “Is the beloved student council president really asking me to do an illicit act of pure teenage rebellion?”

 

Luhan responded by giving Sehun a half hearted punch in the arm “Shut up. If we’re both honest we know that if anyone's going to do it it's gonna be Kai. Since you’re his best friend shouldn’t you be there for moral support?”

 

“Hmmm you make a valid point…” Sehun replied playing along. He was going to the dance. Luhan just didn’t need to know. Plus he was curious as to why Luhan was so insistent in him going. He already had a date. What difference would it make if Sehun was there or not?

 

“So are you going?” Luhan asked as they reached the school gates.

 

Sehun could see his friends waiting for him by the school steps and when he was going to reply to Luhan he saw Kris making his way over to them. Not knowing how to control his emotions Sehun looked back at Luhan and gave him a shrug before walking off. Completely unaware of the disappointed look painted on Luhan's face.

 

Sehun knew what he did had been dumb. The smart thing would have been to stick around and see what that Kris guy was all about. But like the impulsive idiot that he is he walked away. And now he had to face Luhan and try to act like his abrupt departure was nothing. He made his way out of class trying his best to think of what to say when he spotted Luhan by his locker. He his lips and thought  this was probably a sign he should just talk to Luhan .

 

So Sehun squared his shoulders and took a deep breath before making his way to Luhan. He can see Luhan is busy trying to get the right books out for his next classes and making sure the stuff he needs for homework is in a nice neat pile so at the end of the day he can just grab it and go. As he walks he can’t help but remember the days they were together. How he would surprise Luhan at his locker with cheesy notes or chocolates. Or the times he’d just wait for Luhan to be done at his locker and wrap him in his arms making the other squeal in surprise. he really missed those days.

 

He isn’t even too sure how they grew so distant. How did he not notice that Luhan was unhappy? Or maybe he, like always, just didn’t know how to deal with the tension so he ignored it? Or maybe they were both to busy?

 

All his silent questions came to an abrupt stop when Sehun saw a figure come up (out of nowhere) and wrap their arms around Luhan's waist. Sehuns feet stopped moving. He could no longer feel his legs. He could feel his heartbeat in the tips of fingers and in right in his ears. He blinked trying to make sense of his surroundings but all he could see was Luhan blushing a scarlet red and Kris laughing and looking at Luhan adoringly. The image was nothing short of sweet. Sickeningly sweet.  And then Sehun felt a sharp pang in his chest. It was like a dull knife had been lodged there. Finding it hard to breathe Sehun, for the second time that day, walked away from Luhan.

 

The night of the school dance finally arrived. But Sehun would not be in attendance. He had made up his mind the second he saw Kris and Luhan together. His friends tried to convince him that all hope was not lost but Sehun knew better. It was over. His only consolation was the hope that maybe just maybe Kris was the right guy for Luhan. That Kris would be able to treat Luhan a lot better than he ever did. And if  he didn’t well Sehun would take great joy in breaking that ers nose. The best part of it all was Luhan was still his friend. Even though his heart ached whenever he was around the shorter boy he pretended like everything was fine. They still talked and laughed together. He still had Luhan in his life and that was absolutely better than nothing.

 

Instead of staying home alone with his thoughts to eat him alive Sehun decided to let loose at one of the many parties going on at the same time as the dance. He just wanted a distraction from all the mess he’d made for himself. So wearing his favorite sneakers and jacket he walked into the cool night air.

---

A/N: Happy Birthday to our favorite deer LU HAN!!! also happy hunhan month lol

This was supposed to get posted a long time ago (the beginning of the month) but like I so here it is now...to make things worse...its not even done...lol

So here is part one of my massive one shot. Im posting this only because the story has gotten so long and I just really wanted to share it on Lus birthday ... I hope you guys like it and hopefully by the end of the weekend part 2 will be up.

(also feel free to comment, upvote , and subscribe..please?) 

kthnksbye