It was a Friday night, just like any night, nothing special. But it wasn't, not for you. Your legs kept on walking aimlessly. Your head felt heavy, yet light at the same time. You chose not to care anymore, not to think anymore. You just walked. Couldn't shake off the flashbacks came to your mind, you decided to let it flow.

Full moon. Lights. Ambulance's siren. Blood.

Stopping when you reached Han river, you exhaled. Looking up at the cloudy sky, you closed your eyes. It was midnight. Strangely, there was no one around. It was almost midnight. You walked to a bridge's pillar, didn't want to be seen by anyone. You pulled out a pocket knife from your coat. Smiling sadly. You took off your coat, didn't care if you were freezing cause it was winter. Sat on the darker side of the pillar, you raised your bandaged arm. You slide the bandage open with your knife, showing your scarred wrist.

You were trembling. More flashbacks played inside of your head. A tear fell from your eyes. The hand that was still holding the knife raised, slicing the already scarred flesh. Slowly, over and over. Your opened your mouth slowly. Singing a song.

****

Jimin was riding his bicycle, running an errand. Nah, he lost to Taehyung, so he was given the responsibility to buy the boys in the dorm some snacks. It was almost midnight and the street wasn't so crowded, but he still play safe by using hat and mask to cover his identity.

Jimin was slowly pedalling his bicycle crossing the hand river when he heard a faint voice. He stopped. He was sure that was someone singing. A girl's voice.

Be still my love. I will return to you.

But who would singing in the Han river at midnight? The blond haired guy didn't really understand the lyric but he was sure the song was in English.

And I'll always be watching you. Speak to me.

Beautiful voice, Jimin must admit. And at the same time, it sounded so sad. When he heard a choked sob from the voice, Jimin was shivering and his face turned pale cause he was scared.

I can't let go. You're every part of me.

"No, no, no, no. I should go back." He muttered. He pedalled his bicycle as fast as he could to the dorm.

Jimin practically shoved the bag contained the snacks he was holding to Jin as soon as he arrived at the dorm and practically threw his body to the couch, beside Taehyung who was still scrolling through his phone, unaware of Jimin's presence.

"What's wrong, Jimin?" Namjoon asked.

"Did you see a ghost on your way?" Hoseok laughed.

"Maybe." Jimin ruffled his blond hair. Trying to forget the voice he heard on the bridge.

****

Jimin had been hearing the same voice, at the same place every night he went out. It was always at midnight. At first he was scared he even ran as fast as he could to the dorm. But it went on for about a month, Jimin wasn't sure it was a ghost anymore. He was curious who was singing at the Han river? A sad song at that.

Jimin knew it was a sad one when he practically remembered some of the words and asked Namjoon the meaning in Korean. But he didn't know where the sound came from. All he knew was the voice came from the Han's river. He was curious but wasn't brave to look it up. He was still scared.

Jimin and Jungkook entered a convenience store. Jungkook wanted to buy some snacks and Jimin decided to tag along. He let the youngest picked the snacks while he strolled around, decided to buy a coffee. He was so focus on picking his coffee when he bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry!" Jimin apologized.

He looked up to see a woman stumbled in front of him but before Jimin could catch her she already fell and dropped the bandages she was holding. Jimin hurriedly squatted in front of the black coated woman. He held out his hand, offering to help her. She held his hand, didn't say anything as Jimin helped her to stand.

"I really am sorry, miss." He apologized again.

Jimin stared at the woman in front of him. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, it was obvious she was crying. She looked so pale. And messed up. Her stare was what Jimin scared the most. It was empty, for a split second.

"Aish, hyung, what are you doing?" Jungkook appeared with a basket full of snacks on his hands.  

Jimin turned to see Jungkook walked past him and picked up the bandages that was scattered on the floor. Jimin opened his mouth to apologize again but his eyes were opened wide. The woman wasn't there anymore.

"Hyung, why are the bandages scattered here? Are you hurt?" Jungkook asked again after picking up the rolls of bandages.

Jimin looked at his hand and saw blood on the palm of his hand. The hand he used to help the woman before. Jungkook followed Jimin's stare and gasped.

"Hyung, are you hurt?" Jungkook asked again. Jimin clenched his bloody hand, shook his head. It wasn't hurt at all. It wasn't his.

"No, i'm okay." Jimin said. His hands were trembling.

"But you have blood on your palm." Jungkook winced by the look of the blood.

"It...it wasn't mine." Jimin replied.

When Jimin turned around he saw the woman he helped before walked outside the convenience store.

"So..it's hers?" Jungkook asked.

****

You sat at the edge of Han's river. Your feet was soaked in the water, made your jeans wet. You didn't care. You soaked your hand into the river, watching as the blood coming out from your wrists tainted the clear water with red color. The full moon made it was easier to see and you didn't even care. At this point you didn't even care if someone found out cause you weren't hiding at your usual spot anymore.

I can't let go

You're every part of me

The space between is just a dream

Your lips still singing the same song, over and over. Every night. Flashbacks began to fill your head again. You didn't fight back. You let the images filled your brain. You choked a sob. Tears fell down from your eyes.

We are one breath apart, my love

You thought you finally had your happy ending, your happiness. You were so happy when you were married to the man you loved for years. The happiness even doubled by the fact that you were pregnant. But oh, God was so cruel. You wanted to curse God. You were angry at God.

And I'll be holding it in, till we're together

Both of you and your husband were visiting his parents' house. It was raining heavily. Your mother in law told you to spend the night at her house, but you refused. You told you wanted to go home cause you have work tomorrow. Your husband loved you so much he couldn't say no.

Both of you were riding the car when suddenly a truck rushed from the other side and hit your car. You still remembered your husband's hand cupped your cheek, calling your name weakly. You opened your eyes to see him, bleeding heavily from his head, his mouth, his nose. The next time you heard was ambulance's siren.

Your husband died on the way to the hospital. Your child? Before you could even know its gender, it was dead. Along with your husband. The worst was, his family blamed you. You came back to your parent's home. They didn't blame you, at least not in front of your face. After the accident you didn't work. You couldn't find any motivation to do anything at all. You'd shut yourself inside your room, didn't want to eat.

Hear me call your name

You walked to the bridge. Not even care your sight had become blurry from your tears. You climbed the bridge. Tears still coming out from your eyes. It should've been you who were died that day. You should've listened to your mother in law. You should've died. You weren't belong here. Or anywhere. Even staying at your parent's house made you depressed even more.

In these walls I still hear your heartbeat.

Your lips still singing the same song. You stood on the bridge's rim. Didn't even care the blood still streaming from your scarred hand. It would be over. Tonight you would be free.

And nothing in this world can hold me back

From breaking through to you

You heard a voice behind you. You heard someone was shouting at you. You could hear footsteps behind you. You didn't care anymore. You saw your husband in front of you, holding out his hand at you. You reached out to him, naturally. You jumped.

****

"NO! DON'T JUMP!" Jimin desperately screamed.

He was late. He was too late. Namjoon and Yoongi ran behind him, surprised when he suddenly heard him screamed. The three of them saw you climbed the bridge from far. They called you but you didn't listen to them. Jimin was the first one who ran when he saw you reached out your hand and jumped.

Jimin recognized the black coat you wore. You bumped into him at the supermarket a few days ago. Jimin once came back and heard your singing but he didn't do anything about it. Thinking maybe you were just broke up with your boyfriend and needed some time to be alone. Besides, he was an idol, he wouldn't want to risk his career over something he shouldn't involved with. His dream was to be a singer. Together with his team.

Jimin stopped at the rim of the bridge, he tried to search for you but he found nothing. Namjoon was the first one to recognized the blood on the bridge's rim. Yoongi stood beside Jimin, trying to search for your body.

"I'm going to call the police." Namjoon suddenly said, taking out his cellphone.

"Hyung, please call ambulance." Namjoon told Yoongi. The older nodded and took out his cellphone from his pocket.

Meanwhile, Jimin was mentally blame himself. He knew. He knew something was wrong but he didn't do anything. When he finally saw the blood beside him, his eyes widen.

"H-hyung. Blood." Jimin muttered.

Jimin fell on his knees. His insides are telling him to throw up. He needed to throw up. He tried to cover his mouth. Trying to swallow his dinner back.

"Jimin? Jimin! . Namjoon, call the others." Yoongi barked as he rummage the bag he brought from the convenience store, trying to find a drink for Jimin.

****

Jimin was still in shock. He sat on the hospital's bed. The other members were with him, except for Yoongi and Namjoon. They should've still with the police, telling them what they saw. Jimin wasn't sick physically but his mental was still in shock and he couldn't sat in ER as it would bring more commotion so the doctor gave a room to him to recover until tomorrow morning. And for his other members to gathered.

Namjoon and Yoongi came inside the room with a very exhausted face. Namjoon told them that you were currently at the ICU in the same hospital, fortunately they could save your life. Namjoon also said that your forearms were scarred badly cause you always sliced it. Depression they said.

But for Jimin it was a horrible sight he'd ever seen in his life. He couldn't shake off the image of you jumping from the bridge, the blood at the bridge, when he saw your body was found by the police not long after that. That pale face, small and thin figure, also, your horribly scarred forearm. Jimin was trembling again. He couldn't forget. He couldn't. He bit his lower lips, trying to calm himself down. Everything went in a flash he could hear your voice, singing the same sad song.

Jin, the first one who realized Jimin's breakdown state placed his hand on Jimin's shoulder, made the younger flinched.

"Jimin saw her jump." Namjoon sighed.

"Jimin-" "Hyung, I knew something was wrong. But I didn't do anything." Jimin cut Yoongi off.

"Jimin, you know her?" Taehyung asked, answered by Jimin shook his head. "No. But I heard her." Jimin said.

****

Jimin sat on the couch beside you. He fiddled his thumb, trying to calm him self down. Today was his session. He had been going to a therapist to help him. Yoongi's personal therapist. Yoongi made an appointment for Jimin, and today was probably the last day he came here. His breakdown was getting better. He didn't had nightmares of you jumped in front of him anymore. 

He took a glance at you. You didn't know him, but he knew you. Not long after your suicide attempt he visited you once. But you were still in coma at that time. Both of you were silent. You didn't pay any mind to Jimin. You realized he was an idol but you didn't pry any further.

You released from hospital just recently and the doctor who was in charge of you contacted his friend to do help you. A therapist. It was hard, you would scream and cried until your throat hurts. You still had a long way, but you the moment you opened your eyes just to saw your parents cried beside you, you needed to move on.

A soft hum from Jimin's lip turned you back to reality. He was singing. You stared at him in awe. Well, it was your first time to sat side by side with an idol and he was singing. You imagined his fans would kill you just to get to saw him this close.

It's alright if you run out of breath

No one will blame you

It's okay to make mistakes sometimes

Because anyone can do so

Tears fell from your eyes.

Though I can't understand your breath

It's alright, I'll hold you

You covered your face with your hands. Tried so hard not to sob. At least not with an idol beside you. Then you remembered what your mom told you when you woke up.

"There was this idol visited you. The police said that they saw you jumped and immediately called for help."

"Y/N noona." Jimin called. Jimin remembered you were at the same age as Jin. Older than him.

You wanted to apologize to him. Everything made sense then. You would occasionally met Jimin here and he would smiled at you in recognition, bowed his head a little. You thought he was just being polite. If the idol who saw you jumped was him, then you just gave him a nightmare. He must've had a hard time watching you jumped. You mentally blame your self again and your anxiety built up.

"I'm sorry." You managed to choke out words at him between your sobs. But Jimin's hand on your shoulder made you bit your lower lip, sobbing pitifully.

"It's okay, noona. I'm okay now." Jimin smiled. He rubbed your back softly.

"And I hope you will too, noona. Cause I'm sure your voice would sound even better when you sing a happy song."

That was it, your last barrier. You cried your eyes out. Jimin stayed beside you, his hand were still on your shoulder, a soft gesture that said "It's okay to cry, I'm here."

 

FIN

(Really?)