Q: In Donghae's eyes, what kind of existence is Eunhyuk?

Donghae: Like rice. Because I have to eat rice everyday so there can't be a day that I don't see him.

(Kansai Collection - Super Junior D&E fellows)

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Lee Hyuk Jae works in a transcription services firm that caters both domestic and international clients who have either too little time or too little diligence for their own work. It's a repetitive kind of work except for the fact that the projects are changing depending on how fast he can get them done. All he does for the whole day is to listen to the audios, type and edit and then submit for proofreading and that's about it. It's uneventful and it requires quite a lot of patience and perseverance but it perfectly fits the boring lifestyle that he's currently living.

Hyuk Jae is thirty four years old, single and alone with an average 2LDK unit as his only property. He's got the physical appearance of a man from his twenties and a physical strength of a girl from her teenage years. It's probably because he's weak that he is often being mistaken to be younger than his age, or maybe it's because of his lanky looks that makes him lackadaisical. Nevertheless, he's a 'what you see is what you get' kind of person with his skinny and fragile outer body.

Ever since he can remember, he's always been living his life alone. No family, no partner, no friends, and the only people who talk to him are the convenience store clerks and the fast food clerks, sometimes, the guard at their company building and rarely, his boss. But that's fine, because who needs friends when you got money, time and space that you need? Besides, most people don't really care about his well-being and only act on their self-interest and that's down the list of what Hyuk Jae needs.

In the office, he's that guy that everyone hates but can't bully. He's not really the hardworking type, but he does all his work in time and no one complains about him, except for personal reasons. He's not arrogant per se, but he'd rather not waste time and energy by talking about irrelevant stuffs like the rumors that's been going around for weeks but don't really have a conclusive evidence to back it up so it just remain as that—rumors.

He doesn't initiate a conversation with anyone and he only responds to those who talk to him if it's extremely necessary. So yeah, perhaps everyone secretly calls him the uncaring jerk. But that's certainly none of his business.

His business is his own self. And that includes taking care of it. And taking care means resting and having a good sleep. But it's way easier said than done. Hyuk Jae is suffering from insomnia and it has been the bane of his existence for years now. He has time, but more often than not, he has too much of it. The longest time that he's been awake is 6 days and the longest time that he's been asleep is 6 hours.

The thing about having insomnia is that you are never really asleep and you are never really awake. When you think you're awake, you're suddenly dreaming, and when you think you're asleep, your world suddenly revolves without you even knowing. And once you blink, something is happening and you'll immediately ask yourself, 'Was I asleep?'

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Hyuk Jae's daily routine starts at exactly 7:00, regardless of whether he got some sleep last night or not. It's the same everyday save for Sundays and it consists mainly of getting ready for work, riding the bus, internally trash talking the pedestrians who won't let him have a quiet morning and then do his work looking all dazed and confused and figuratively bone-tired.

That's how it normally goes, but today doesn't seem so normal.

Even after the clock strikes seven, Hyuk Jae's alarm clock stays quiet. For all one knows, this kind of things happen once in a while, but not to his knowledge. He's got his nose under a home interior magazine while lying with his back on the bed. He's in a bad position where the circulation of his blood is poor but he can't care any less since he knows that his alarm clock is about to ring any moment judging by the sun rays that's peeking on his bedroom window.

However, the sun rays are not an accurate measurement for time and Hyuk Jae doesn't have an inner body clock, so seven o'clock passes by without him knowing. Only when he feels his face getting cold does he make an effort to check the time and realizes that first, his alarm clock is out of battery, second, it's already past 7:30 and third, he's going to be late for the first time since he entered this company.

His initial reaction is to curse the alarm clock, of course, followed by his rapid steps to bathroom and back to his room. He begrudgingly skips breakfast, hoping that he can still catch his bus. Just to be sure that he won't die of hunger later, or suffer from stomach pain, he grabs a protein bar and with hurried steps, dashes out of his unit.

Fortunately, which Hyuk Jae can't believe because he never really have any luck to begin with, his bus is still at the bus stop, seemingly waiting for him. Or so he thinks because right after he finishes his sigh of relief, the bus' engine starts and for a fleeting second, Hyuk Jae panics.

There is about six to seven meters distance from where he's standing up to the bus stop and it's starting to grow as the bus moves, but Hyuk Jae's heart is racing so fast and the adrenaline rush causes him to run faster than he possibly can on a normal basis. By the time he reaches the bus, he jumps right at the opened door and quickly sits at the empty spot. His eyes are wide open and it takes him a full minute to level his breathing, and then suddenly, he feels his face blushing because that is a very out of his character thing to do. He slumps his shoulder and deliberately hides his face from the other passengers. As he tries to breath deeply, it's already too late for his mind to register that he's falling asleep.

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Hyuk Jae bolts from his seat when the bus suddenly halts. He blinks once, twice, and some more, and eventually comes to an understanding that he is lost in more ways than one.

Was I asleep?

Most likely, he was. He fell asleep in the bus and missed his stop, so now, here he is—a place unknown to him. Shortly after seeing that he's the only passenger left, he gets off and stares at his watch. Ten o'clock, it says. Forget being late for the first time, it's going to be his first absent.

Not to be overly dramatic, but the place where Hyuk Jae is looks like an abandoned country side. There is a playground just behind the bus stop and looks like it came out from a horror film. The ground is covered by fallen dried leaves, the whistling cold wind is blowing the empty swing and no one is around except from a stranger whose gaze is trying to meet Hyuk Jae's. He avoids it at any cost.

However, the concept of minding each other's business doesn't seem to go both ways as the stranger decides to approach him.

"Not many people come here intentionally, are you one of them?" the stranger asks, skipping the greetings and introductions. Hyuk Jae shakes his head shortly.

"I got here by accident," the stranger chuckles and continues speaking, "I almost didn't catch my bus for work so I needed to run full speed to reach it, and then I don't know if it's the adrenaline or if it's because I'm tired but I fell asleep on the bus, when I woke up, here I am. The bus driver practically forces me to get off because I was all alone, so I got off and found this place. It's kind of eerie, don't you think? Is this an abandoned town or something? I thought it came out directly from a horror movie."

At first, Hyuk Jae plans to simply tune out the stranger since he really doesn't care what kind of predicament he has. But as his spiel becomes familiar to him, he can't shake away the feeling that this stranger is currently narrating what just happened to him earlier. If coincidence isn't a fascinating thing, he has to believe that he's in a horror story right now, that or he's just dreaming.

He listens to the man and takes a good look at him. He's got a handsome face and a well-built body and he's probably the same age as him. His eyes are a bit too captivating to his liking but as he continues to talk, Hyuk Jae can't help himself from nodding in agreement.

"I never thought that there's a place like this here and I never thought things like this could happen," the stranger chuckles once more, and then he faces Hyuk Jae, sending him a gaze so tender he almost smile. "What about you? You don't really look like someone who makes mistakes like this."

Hyuk Jae lowers his gaze and smirks to himself, he decides he likes this man for pointing out such thing so he casts his apathetic attitude aside and converses with him more than his normal limits. "Believe me, what happened to you just happened to me, and I didn't think such coincidence exists."

"For real?" the man stares at him in shock but he just nods to him. "Wow, this means something."

"Does it?" Hyuk Jae stares back at him and the stranger smiles.

They hold each other's gazes for quite a while before the man offers his hand, "Lee Dong Hae."

"Lee Hyuk Jae."

They shake hands and smile to each other and Hyuk Jae agrees that this really means something. They don't exchange another word and only communicate through their eyes, but it feels like they've been talking for hours. Maybe it's his soft, kind eyes that captivates him so much, but Hyuk Jae finds that he doesn't mind popping his personal bubble even only at his first meeting with Dong Hae.

This must be how fate works.

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Spending time with Lee Dong Hae, Hyuk Jae finds out, is either really fulfilling or really stressing—there's no in between. He's the kind of man who likes to break rules and bend theories and he usually acts based on his instincts and always strives to have fun. If he has to say it, he is honestly convinced that Dong Hae has a mental age that's probably lower than a grade schooler.

Despite all that, though, they get along strangely well.

Dong Hae has this certain charm on him that withholds Hyuk Jae from saying no to him, no matter how cynical he usually is towards people. He must've been drawn to him, like how opposites attract each other. Plus, everything about him just screams surprises so before he can even blink, Dong Hae is there to stimulate his dull and tedious lifestyle.

Just exactly like how it is at the present time. What he last remembers he's doing is that he's buying coffee at the convenience store after dashing out of the office for his break. But now, he's standing in a long queue for what seems to be the biggest Ferris wheel in the country. He completely can't recall what happened that made Dong Hae drag him to an amusement park, of all places, and at some point, he just asks himself, Was I asleep?

"Why are we here again?" he whispers to Dong Hae whose eyes are so mesmerized at the giant thing above them like it's something magical. He's like a child full of wonder.

"Because this is called the 'Wheel of Fate'," the man answers nonchalantly as if that's about enough to solve the mystery of the universe, or of his confusion.

Hyuk Jae's eyebrows furrow in irritation and he's about to whack him at the back of his head, just a casual thing, nothing serious, but the people around them are not so discreetly giving him a criticizing look, like they know that he ran away from work and is doing things a fully-grown adult won't do.

Honestly, it feels like he's an honor student who skips his class for the first time and his conscience is berating him for it. Except, he has never been an honor student and cutting classes are never this worrying. Cutting classes are supposed to be the getaway—an escape from the stress, not the source of another stress.

Anyway, after an approximately half an hour, it's finally their turn to ride the moving wheel. Dong Hae quickly walks to the empty cart with Hyuk Jae following him. The ticketing clerk stops him for his ticket, giving him the slightest bit of panic attack, but when he looks at his hand, it's there. He hands it to the clerk and proceeds to the cart where Dong Hae sits. Since the wheel doesn't really stop from moving even when its loading and unloading the passengers, he's almost a bit too late to enter as the cart is already rising from the platform. Thankfully, Dong Hae grabs his hand as they settle in.

While the cart is on the narrow side, closed-space and a bit unkempt, the movement of the wheel is slow so it isn't scary. But it's also not that thrilling and even though it goes so high that the people at the ground appear only an inch tall to him, it's not dizzying. Or, maybe it's because it's actually not where Hyuk Jae's attention is.

Dong Hae is sitting across from him, his smile so wide and his eyes so bright. And he's looking at Hyuk Jae like he wants him to approve his impromptu trip and he's proud of himself for dragging Hyuk Jae to experience this. He has to hand it to him, though, because when their cart advances to the highest point, the sight is simply awe-striking.

"Do you know what this place is famous for?" Dong Hae suddenly speaks, his smile never leaving his face and it's starting to look ingratiating to Hyuk Jae.

He sends him a suspicious glance and thinks about the most cliché scene on a romance dramas that involves an amusement park. "Is it that, when a couple rides the ferris wheel and kiss at the highest point, they will stay together forever?"

Dong Hae laughs amusingly, "No, but if you want to try that, just say so."

Hyuk Jae ignores his retort the same way he ignores the funny bubble in his stomach. It's too weird to feel excited for that witticism. "Then what?" he questions after regaining his calm.

"That this is also known as the place closest to heaven."

"Heaven, huh?" Hyuk Jae looks through the window and observes the clouds. Well, this is certainly a high place, but for his opinion, it's not high enough to call it the place closest to heaven since there's quite a lot of towering buildings nowadays that are more applicable for that name.

"Don't look at it in a literal sense."

"Huh?"

"You know, for me, heaven is really not a place. Heaven is where you feel contented and happy," Dong Hae explains but it only confuses Hyuk Jae even more. When he realizes that he's not following him, he continues, "When you're at the highest point of this 'Wheel of Fate', higher than anybody else and with a sight to behold like this and you're with someone who you want to be with, you feel so contented and happy that it's as if you're in heaven, like now," he said as a matter-of-factly and smiles fondly at the scenery, like he's thinking about something deep and it makes him absolutely happy.

Hyuk Jae doesn't respond and he stops listening and he stops thinking because that bubbly feeling is back and it has doubled. Dong Hae always has these outlandish theories of him and they never fail to draw out a reaction from him. Only, it doesn't show on the outside because he's busy expelling it on the inside.

When minutes pass and their cart is about to land on the platform where they need to get off, Dong Hae nudges him and looks straight on his eyes, "Want to visit heaven one more time?"

He gives him a questioning look and ponders for a moment, but before he can even reply, Dong Hae is gently tugging him out of the cart. They steadily walk away from it, passing behind the ticketing clerk, and when the next customer, a couple, are just about to board the empty cart, Dong Hae pulls him and swiftly runs back to the cart, resulting for customers to standstill in shock. They look scandalized, so is the clerk, but they opt out of making a fuss of it when Dong Hae tosses out a ticket that Hyuk Jae doesn't know he has been keeping with him.

And just like that, they obtain another round of the 'Wheel of Fate'. Dong Hae is smiling and laughing at the same time and the sound is so catching that Hyuk Jae finds himself laughing with him. He feels lightheaded, but in a nice way, and he thinks that in all likelihood, this is what heaven for him is like. He still feels a bit weird, though.

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to be continued...

--krissyoong--