“Truth or dare, Seungcheol-hyung!” Soonyoung exclaims, staring expectantly at the elder.

 

Seungcheol bites his lip, this was a life or death situation. Risk dare, and have to do something extremely embarrassing in front of his hubaes who respect him dearly, or risk truth and have something exposed. Hm…

 

“Truth! Ask me anything.” Seungcheol says.

 

Soonyoung thinks for a moment, the boys around them are shouting suggestions such as:

 

“When was the last time you got hard?”

 

“What was your first wet dream?”
 

 

“What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve said?”

 

Seungcheol hopes Soonyoung doesn’t follow along with their antics. He’d probably survive a couple of their suggestions, but he didn’t really want to tell them who the star of his first wet dream was, for obvious reasons. Gosh, why were all of his friends erts?

 

Everything goes quiet as Soonyoung raises his hand up, to signal he was ready to ask his question.

 

Soonyoung chuckles slightly as Seungcheol visibly swallows.

 

“Seungcheol-hyung…” Soonyoung starts out. The other boys are leaning intently, anticipating the question.

 

“Who was your first kiss?”

 

The other boys groan at his cheesy-ness. Out of all the dirt they could have gotten out of Seungcheol, Soonyoung wanted to know who his first kiss was.

 

“Ah, that’s easy! Her name was Jihyo, she was really nice and we dated for a while in high school.”

 

The other boys seem unsatisfied with the answer.

 

“Come on hyung, that’s not what he means,” Mingyu groans, “He means who was your first boy kiss!”
 

Soonyoung was about to object, saying that Seungcheol doesn’t need to answer if he doesn’t want to, as the elder visibly tensed up at the mention of ‘boy’, but Minghao stops him by covering his mouth.

 

“Yeah hyung, we want the juicy details of your first boyfriend!”

 

Seungcheol chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck. He takes a deep breath and starts to tell his story.

 

“Well, you see, my first kiss…”

 

“Jihoon, it’s your turn, come on, truth or dare?” Seungkwan asks, peering over at Jihoon who was huddled up on his bed.

 

Seungkwan, Seokmin, Jisoo, Jeonghan, Junhui, and Wonwoo were over at his house for a sleepover. A reunion sort of thing, ever since graduation, they were mostly busy with their jobs and barely had time to meet up with each other.

 

Jihoon barely agreed to this, seeing as his apartment was quite small and he didn’t want his friends to come over and earn him a couple noise complaints. He already had enough from his guitar playing alone (annoying people and their sensitive ears).

 

Jihoon doesn’t want to get up and leave his comfy cave, so he chooses truth, not expecting anything serious.

 

“Who was your first kiss?”

 

Jihoon tenses up, of all the things Seungkwan could have asked, it had to be that.

 

Joshua, being the amazing angel he his, notices Jihoon’s mild internal freak-out and diverts the attention to him.

 

“Uh, what about you, Seungkwan, I’m sure you’ve got a good story! I’d love to hear it!”

 

Seungkwan only seems mildly fazed but compiles anyway, “My first kiss was with this girl in elementary, we didn’t really know what we were doing, it was a little peck and that was it.”

 

The rest of the group coo at Seungkwan’s story.

 

“My first actual kiss that mattered was with this guy though, his name’s Vernon.”

 

Jisoo almost chokes on his water (drink water, not alcohol, kids), “Wait, Vernon, as in Hansol Vernon Choi?”

 

Seungkwan nods.

 

“I know him, he used to be in my music composition class, I still keep in touch with him. We sometimes go out and get chicken together. It heals our hearts.” Jisoo says the last part in English, so it causes mild confusion.

 

The rest of the group decides to ignore it, Jisoo always says weird things in English anyway.

 

“What a coincidence!” Seokmin says.

 

“What was your first kiss experience like?” Seungkwan asks him.

 

“Oh, mine was marvelous, it was with this girl named Sana, she’s really cute, but we broke up after a couple months. Now she’s dating this girl named Tzuyu, but we keep in touch-”

 

“Wait-wait-wait!” Jeonghan says, interrupting Seokmin’s story, “You dated Sana, who’s now dating Tzuyu? She’s like a little sister to me! We used to live next door to each other, I showed her around since she had just moved here from Taiwan!”

 

He starts to fake cry, “She’s growing up to be so big.” Jeonghan hides his ‘crying’ face in the crook of Jisoo’s neck.

 

Jisoo pats him on the back accordingly.

 

Junhui eyes the two amusingly and decides to speak up, “Who was your first kiss, Jisoo-hyung?”

 

Jisoo visibly reddens, and Jeonghan’s fake crying stops. Everyone can see the sly smirk grow on Jeonghan’s face as he sits up properly.

 

“Jisoo, our dear innocent Jisoo here, didn’t kiss anyone until he got here to Korea, being the good Christian boy his parents raised him to be.”

 

Jisoo hides his face in a pillow.

 

“His first kiss was in fact-”

 

“Wonwoo!” Jisoo shouts, although muffled by the pillow, his words were as clear as day.

 

“-Me, wait-what?” Jeonghan asks, he turns to Jisoo, then to Wonwoo, then to Jisoo again.

 

The others do the same, Wonwoo looks visibly calm, although slightly confused...

 

“I thought I was your first kiss, Jisoo, what happened?”

 

“Wonwoo was behind me while we were in gym one day and I turned around to ask him a question and some dude knocked me over as he caught a ball and it pushed me into Wonwoo, and we kissed.”

 

Jeonghan stares at him for a moment before breaking into laughter. Jisoo looks up from his pillow, confused.

 

“Y-you’re not angry?”
 

 

Jeonghan wipes a tear from his eye and smiles, “Of course not, it was an accident, besides, your first kiss with me is the only one that should matter.”

 

Jeonghan puts his arm around Jisoo’s shoulders and pulls him close.

 

“So, you two are dating?” Seokmin asks.

 

Everyone else facepalms.

 

“Well, who was your first kiss then, hyung?” Seokmin retaliates.

 

Junhui smiles smugly and puffs out his chest a little, “I had a bunch of girlfriends in high school, so many I lost count,” he boasts, “I think it was with this girl named YuYan, she was really sweet, but we broke up.”

 

Seungkwan mutters something unintelligible, probably a curse or something because of Junhui’s smug face.

 

“Of course, some of my favourite kisses were with Wonwoo, here, we had some good times in our first year of college, right, buddy?”
 

 

Wonwoo grunts, seemingly uninterested in the conversation.

 

“Of course, that was all in the past, now I’ve got my adorable Haohao to keep me company.”

 

Jihoon chuckles a little and unfortunately gains the attention of Junhui, who seems to love exploiting everyone’s weaknesses.

 

“Jihoon-ah, you haven’t answered, seeing as it was originally your truth to start with, who was your first kiss?”

 

The room’s atmosphere immediately dies down, and the whole situations seems cold. Everyone turns quiet.

 

Jihoon takes a deep breath,

 

“My first kiss...”

 

“… was with this amazing guy, his name was Jihoon, and we went to high school together and we were in the same company.”

 

“Woah-Woah, hold on,” the others stare at Soonyoung’s exclamations, “How come I didn’t know about this? I mean, I can understand why the others don’t, but we went to high school together, bro, and I’ve never heard of this guy?”

 

Seungcheol chuckles a bit, “You might know him under the name of Woozi, they played his music in the mornings in the halls.”

 

Mingyu’s eyes are about to pop out of his head, “Wait, Woozi as in the Woozi that produces those really catchy songs for Kpop groups AND is a solo artist himself?”

 

Seungcheol smiles sadly, “Yeah, him…”
 

“Woah, nice dude, so… what happened?”

 

“Well, I guess it’s sort of a long story….”

 

The other boys look like they’re about to drop everything in favor of listening to Seungcheol, so the elder sighs, “Alright, get comfortable.”

 

“So, what happens is…”

 

 

“What I mean to say is, I want to be with you, I want us to be together, like, together-together…”

 

Jihoon doesn’t know what to say.

 

“I… Seungcheol…”

 

Seungcheol can’t seem to form words, he doesn’t know how to phrase his thoughts-

 

 

“-No! We want the full story, how you guys met, and how on earth I didn’t notice it!” Soonyoung exclaims.

 

Seungcheol smiles sadly, “alright then…”

 

“We met in high school….”

 

 

“Hi, my name is Choi Seungcheol, you must be Jihoon?” The older holds out his hand to shake the blond kid’s hand.

 

“Yeah, that’s me, you’re the guy I’m supposed to work with, right?”
 

 

Seungcheol gives him a full-on puppy smile, “Yup, I look forward to working with you, Jihoon.”
 

 

“Likewise, Seungcheol-hyung.”

 

 

“So that’s how you met? No sparks? No love at first sight? Nothing?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Huh, I thought there’d be more juicy details…”

 

Seungcheol chuckles then proceeds to turn off the light by his bed.

 

“I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow, I’m sort of tired.”

 

The others groan and shift to their sleeping bags. They say their goodnights and presumably fall asleep.

 

Around an hour after everyone has gone to bed, Soonyoung gets up to get a glass of water.

 

He sneaks into the kitchen and notices the balcony doors are open, letting in the cool night breeze. The sheer violet curtains flow in the gentle wind. Soonyoung can see a figure leaning on the railings.

 

He walks up behind quietly and opens the doors a little wider.

 

“…Seungcheol-hyung?”

 

Seungcheol turns around abruptly, surprised that someone else is up, “Oh, it’s you, Soonyoung.”

 

“Don’t sound so disappointed, hyung.” Soonyoung jokes.

 

Seungcheol smiles a little, but Soonyoung can tell that he’s sad. Seungcheol leans his arms on the railings and stares at the lit up city around them. The quiet yet bustling nightlife of Seoul is a sight to see.

 

“Want to finish your story about how you met?”
 

 

Seungcheol stays quiet for a moment before turning to lean his back on the railing and to face Soonyoung.

 

“ … Sure.”

 

Seungcheol and Jihoon meet at XXX entertainment company. Seungcheol has been a trainee there for a couple years.

 

Ever since Seungcheol was a little kid, he wanted to be an idol. His family originally opposed, but then they saw how happy he was, singing, rapping, performing for other, they let him audition.

 

Jihoon joins during Seungcheol’s fourth year of training. Jihoon was the new talk of the place. He’d been scouted thanks to his musical talent. He already produces songs, he sings beautifully and he can play various instruments.

 

Seungcheol welcomes him with open arms, and Jihoon accepts the attention warily.

 

After about two years together, Jihoon transfers to Seungcheol’s high school, without telling him.

 

So when the day comes, Seungcheol just about jumps out of his seat at the sight of Jihoon entering the classroom.

 

When lunch rolls by, Seungcheol invites him over to his table, but Jihoon refuses, saying that he needs to practice.

 

This repeats for a while until Seungcheol gets fed up and pulls him to the table and almost force feeds him a sandwich.

 

“You haven’t been eating, lately, you’re getting skinny.”

 

Jihoon reluctantly takes the sandwich and munches on it quietly. They chat about training, vocal exercises, dance practice, the usual trainee stuff.

 

During a particularly hard training session, both of them and the other trainees are drenched in sweat and their muscles are aching. Seungcheol gives Jihoon his water bottle. “We can’t have our Jihoonie dying of thirst now, can we?”

 

Eventually, in their last year of high school, they start playing Jihoon’s songs on the school radio station. Seungcheol recognizes the song and rushes to Jihoon’s locker. On his way there the song ends and a voice announces, “this song is made by Woozi.”
 

 

Seungcheol wonders why this name appears, and not Jihoon’s, but then the bell rings and he has to rush off to class.

 

That lunch he asks Jihoon about the name ‘Woozi’.

 

“It stands for ‘Ouri Jihoonie’, like our Jihoonie, get it?”

 

Seungcheol laughs and thinks it’s an amazing name.

 

“So that’s how he got his name?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Wow…”

 

“Yeah… Things got worse after that.”
 

 

“After all your years of training, Jihoon, we think that you’d be better off as a producer, and not an idol, you just don’t have that idol look, we’re sorry”

 

Jihoon’s heart breaks, all his life he’s been training to become an idol, he left his home for this and devoted years to his life for this.

 

Jihoon spends days in his room, his eyes are red and sore from crying. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t want to attend graduation, he doesn’t want to see anyone, he doesn’t want to do anything anymore.

 

Then Seungcheol knocks on his dorm room.

 

Oh, that’s right, Seungcheol’s dorm is right next to his.

 

“Hey, Jihoon, are you okay? I heard about what happened. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Jihoon turns around to face Seungcheol, who’s standing in the doorway. He has a sad smile adorning his face, not the usual puppy one Jihoon is so used to seeing.

 

Jihoon doesn’t really want to talk about it, so he keeps quiet.

 

Seungcheol goes over to sit by Jihoon’s bed and wipes the tear stains away using his sleeves.

 

They spend the rest of the day in Jihoon’s room, in a comfortable silence. Hours pass by until the sun no longer shines through the window.

 

This process is repeated for another few days, both of them in comforting silence with each other’s presence. Occasionally Jihoon would cry in his sleep, and Seungcheol would be there to wake him up and comfort him.

 

One day, when the room is filled with the darkness of the night and the faint glow of the moon.

 

Seungcheol gets up, startling Jihoon a bit. “Let’s go for a walk.”

 

It’s dark outside, and only the moon is visible. With the level of pollution in Seoul, there aren’t many stars visible. Jihoon pulls his hood over his head and stuffs his hands in his pocket. Even if it’s almost summertime, it’s still somewhat cold in the dead of night.

 

They walk in comfortable silence until they make it to a park, where they find a bench to sit on.

 

“So, I got offered to join a group yesterday…” Seungcheol says quietly.

 

Jihoon doesn’t reply.

 

“…I didn’t accept”

 

“…What?” Jihoon says, turning to look at Seungcheol. It’s the first thing he’s said in a while.

 

“I won’t join a group knowing you can’t, that’s just not fair,” Seungcheol says, looking Jihoon in the eyes.

 

“ … I don’t want your pity, Seungcheol, you want this too, you should join.” Jihoon says, even though his words pain him.

 

“I don’t want to do anything without you, though, you see, I just…” Seungcheol is at a loss for words.

 

Jihoon has never seen the elder like this. He’s usually so cheerful.

 

“Why not, Seungcheol? It’s not like you’re obliged to, what’s this about?”

 

“Because...because we’re a team, us two, yeah? Y’know, rap/vocal duet, tall/short, always together and like…it just… it doesn’t feel right…” Seungcheol trips over his words.

 

Seungcheol takes a deep breath,

 

“What I mean to say is, I want to be with you, I want us to be together, like, together-together…”

 

Jihoon doesn’t know what to say.

 

“I… Seungcheol…”

 

Seungcheol can’t seem to form words, he doesn’t know how to phrase his thoughts.

 

“I love you, Jihoon…” Seungcheol takes Jihoon’s hands in his, “I love you, and I don’t think it could ever work out because of what we both aspire to be, and for your sake, I’m willing to give all of this up so you can follow your dream. I thought, maybe if I left, they’d give my spot to you, or maybe they’d get rid of the project and give you another chance? I don’t know. I even went to their office and complain… I-I tried everything. I know how much this means to you Jihoon, just, let me do this for you, okay? Please…”

 

Jihoon doesn’t even realize that tears are falling from his face until he feels Seungcheol’s warm hand wipe them away.

 

“You’re an idiot, Seungcheol, you can’t just make these decisions without me! Think about yourself for once!” He hits Seungcheol’s chest weakly. “Don’t…don’t make me regret falling in love with you too…”

 

They both smile sadly at each other and Seungcheol pulls Jihoon towards him for a warm hug. Jihoon buries his head in Seungcheol’s neck and Seungcheol places a small kiss on the crown of Jihoon’s forehead.

 

“We’ll get through this together, alright?”

 

Seungcheol pulls back a little to look at Jihoon, the younger’s eyes are still a little shiny from the tears. Seungcheol can almost see a slight reflection of the moon’s light in his eyes.

 

Then, Jihoon closes the distance between them and kisses Seungcheol. It’s a little clumsy, but it’s full of passion and love. Seungcheol can feel a bit of wetness on his face from Jihoon’s tears. They pull apart, a little breathless, and Seungcheol smiles. 

 

Their walk back home is peaceful and their hands are intertwined with each other.

 

 

They fall asleep next to each other, and Seungcheol is content.

 

The next day, Seungcheol awakes to an empty bed and a note on the desk. It reads:

 

I know we said we’d do this together, but I’m not brave enough to, I can’t risk your future for the sake of mine. Please don’t look for me, I can assure you that I’ve got a plan and if it goes well, you should be hearing my name in a year or so.

I love you,

- Jihoon

 

Seungcheol realizes that the kiss that night wasn’t a declaration of love or a way of reassuring Seungcheol that they’d stay together.

 

“He didn’t show up at school, or even attend graduation, I went to Busan to give his diploma to his mother.” He chuckles sadly.

 

“I went to college, met some cool people, reconnected with you, graduated and got a couple jobs composing and teaching here and there, you know how I ended up.”

 

He exhales a little and visibly swallows.

 

“…And a couple years later, I hear Jihoon’s name come up in various credits here and there, and soon enough, he’s a major solo artist and producer. Just like he wanted to be.”

 

Soonyoung is left speechless. He’s never heard Seungcheol speak with such emotion.

 

Seungcheol laughs sadly, “My biggest regret was not being there for him, he must have gone through so much, and I wasn’t there to help him.”

 

Soonyoung wants to reply, but he doesn’t know what to say.

 

“I guess, in a way, you could say, my first kiss…”

 

Jihoon exhales shakily,

 

“… was a goodbye kiss.”