It was 12th time Tzuyu was like this. She was standing in front of the apartment complex, holding flowers in her hands. Her arms were shaking and sweating and feet can’t find the right place. Her jeans are all wrinkled due to her fingers that can't stop touching it. She is feeling extremely nervous today. She was cursing herself for falling in love with that blonde girl three years ago.

 ‘Today will be the day.’ She told herself, fixing the clothes.

 She wasn’t lucky enough for the past years. And it was killing her inside. She couldn’t believe that her first love should end like this.

 The first time she asked Sana on a date was at the beginning of her high school. The moment she saw a pretty angel in front of her, she fell in love with her. Her heart couldn’t find the right place when Sana was near and her mind screamed like crazy every time Sana smiled at her. Tzuyu tried to be very careful. She got some information about her crush from their friends, she checked and rechecked it again before doing the first move. It was simply. The rose in her hand and a pure confession. She was blushing mad standing in front of the older girl, stretching the rose forward with her trembling hand. But she was hopeless. Sana rejected her, like she did to many other girls and boys. But she was gentle and nice, telling her that she is not ready for relationships. Tzuyu understood everything.

 The second time she got ready better. She wasn’t ready to give up yet and she was ready to wait for this girl. She brought the biggest bouquet she saw in the flower shop and the seller was happier than her to get his money. She found a pretty paper to write a love letter and put it inside. And she put the colorful sticker inside Sana’s locker to invite her to the roof after classes. When the last class was over, she was sprinting like crazy to get there first. The hope was still with her and hard beating heart helped her to overcome the first rejection. She felt numb when her crush walked in. She looked stunningly beautiful. She asked her the same question: “Do you want to go on a date with me?” But her hopes were useless.

 “I’m not ready for it.”
 “Erm… I guess I will wait.”

 And she ran away after giving her crush flowers. Tears were streaming over her cheeks and ruining her make up, but it was nothing due to the pain in her chest area. It was the first time she felt like she wanted to give up.

 The third time was the dumbest one. She just asked it randomly, more like a joke, when they and their friends were having lunch together. Jeongyeon was laughing at her with others, but one stare left her embarrassed and guilty. Sana was looking at her without a smile with boredom in the eyes, her lips soon were pressed together. That joke wasn’t funny for her.

 The fourth time Tzuyu tried her luck after all exams. She bought the flowers and Sana’s favorite chocolates and brought herself to the building Sana was living in. It was Saturday and she knew that Sana was busy till 3 p.m. She waited for her for a long time, going back and forth, getting attention from the neighbors. Sana came back late, when it was almost 8 p.m. Tzuyu stood there cold and hungry, being pity by people. She felt her teeth banging, but she tried her best to talk normally. But the answer was the same. And she felt sorry for herself for getting sick and lay in bed the whole holidays.

 The fifth time she wasn’t hoping at all. She was just one of that Sana’s admirers who were turned down every day. Her friends were laughing at her for trying so long, but she felt it was the right thing to do. This time it wasn’t flowers or sweets. It was the end of the first year and Tzuyu just wanted to know if she should try one more time the next school year.

 “Tzuyu-ah, not now. I’m very busy with all stuff. Maybe the other day.”

 It was painful, but still gave her a little bit of hope for some reasons. She thought that if it’s Sana then it’s worth waiting.

 The sixth time, she felt great. She spent the whole summer away from her crush and was very excited to see