“How are you doing, Jeonginie?” Felix rubs his thumb on the back of Jeongin’s hand and tightens his grip as they continue walking.

 

Jeongin had returned to the sleeping hall quiet and white as a sheet, his body trembling and his arms tightly wound around himself and Felix had immediately -while still being mindful of Seungmin sprawled on top of him- gotten up from his bed and walked over to the shaken boy. He’d pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back to which Jeongin had only snuggled deeper into their embrace without a word, it was only when Seungmin asked him how it went that Jeongin finally let himself cry, just a few salty tears dripping down his cheeks and trailing down his throat and soaking the fabric of Felix’s shirt. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s over now,” Felix had said comfortingly and pressed a light kiss to the top of the boy’s head, Jeongin had nodded and pulled away from the older boy to wipe his tears away with the sleeve of his shirt.

 

“Do you want to get tattoos with us?” Seungmin had asked him suddenly with a tilt of his head and his hands tightly gripping Felix’s pillow, “really?” Jeongin had questioned incredulously and Felix had nodded excitedly, “you don’t have to, but you could at least come with us, I don’t think anyone should be alone right now,” and Jeongin agreed with that to the fullest, his heart feeling heavy just by the thought of being left alone.

 

Which is what led them to right now, walking hand in hand up the stairs, every step tugging a little at the stitches on Jeongin’s knee, and Seungmin trailing behind them. Despite it being possible for the three of them to walk side by side, no one wants to risk falling into the water.

 

“I’m okay, I’m feeling a lot better now,” Jeongin tells him honestly, albeit a bit shakily to the point where most people would probably assume that he’s lying, but Felix grew up in Candor and he’s quite confident in his ability to tell when people are lying to him, especially Jeongin; in all honesty, Felix doesn’t think he’s ever met someone as easily read as Jeongin.

 

“Do you have any idea what you want to get tattooed?” Jeongin wonders out loud to the both of them, genuinely curious about what they’re willing to get on their body for the rest of their lives. Seungmin thinks about it for a while, a tattoo is a big commitment and he doesn’t want to get a stupid cartoon only to regret it the second it’s finished, “I think I want to get a sun somewhere,” Felix turns around fast enough for the other two boys to hear the crack in his neck, “a what now?” he blinks owlishly at Seungmin and Seungmin once again tilts his head, “ a sun,” he repeats flatly with a quirk of his brow.

 

“My little Seungminnie wants to get something that symbolizes happiness? And joy? And warmth? And fuzziness?” Seungmin kicks Felix’s bum and Felix howls and lets go of Jeongin’s hand to grab his behind, “I can be warm and fuzzy, Felix, ” it’s said so passionately and seriously that Jeongin can’t help but let out a quiet giggle, Felix as well begins to laugh heartily and even Seungmin cracks a genuinely amused  smile.

 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

 

“I’m just joking Minnie,” Felix affirms with a smile and punches the boy’s shoulder lightly to which the boy in question only rolls his eyes. They take their last steps up before heading off in the direction of the tattoo parlor, Felix skips a few steps ahead of the other two boys and turns around so that he’s walking backward and is able to look at them both.

 

“I’m just curious,” he begins, “why the sun?” he asks loudly, swinging his arms around in a big circle and almost hitting a woman walking towards them, covered in all kinds of tattoos, in the process. Seungmin shrugs casually kicks an empty bottle to the side that’s been abandoned in the middle of the stone corridor, “I just like suns,” Jeongin nods in agreement with that and hums quietly, “me too Seungmin hyung, I think it’s a great idea,” the boy says with great admiration for the older and a smile full of teeth and braces, braces Seungmin hasn’t really thought of before, but they are extremely cute.

 

“Thanks, Jeongin,” the boy beams and Seungmin thinks that if the sun were to hit Jeongin’s braces he’d most likely be blinded for life. “Is that really the only reason why you’re getting it?” Felix questions further, doubtfully, and Seungmin knows that Felix knows that it is most certainly not the only reason as to why he’s getting it tattooed, however, Seungmin also knows that Felix is a curious boy that sometimes can’t help himself

 

Had they been alone Felix would have been sporting some sort of bruise somewhere on his body by now, but Seungmin doesn’t want Jeongin to witness that so early on in their friendship, so instead he feigns indifference to avoid any type of incident and simply shrugs once more.

 

“”Yeah Lix-” he pauses to pull Felix closer to himself to avoid the incoming herd of kids running down the corridor with their teacher desperately trying to keep up with them, “-I just like suns,” he repeats once more and thankfully Felix doesn’t question him, and even if he had, they arrive at their destination just as the last word leaves Seungmin’s mouth.

 

“Here we are,” he states and Felix turns around in Seungmin’s arms to look up at the neon sign that reads ‘Your Ink is My Kink’, Seungmin snorts loudly in amusement and Felix, before bursting out in laughter, takes a quick look at Jeongin’s stunned face.

 

“I take it you know what it means then?”

 

“I-I’m 15, hyung, I’m not a kid,” he stutters out, red-faced and cheeks hot to the touch with embarrassment and only then does Felix let himself succumb to laughter, “hilarious,” he wheezes out and Seungmin rolls his eyes and tries to hold back his own laughter, “it’s not that funny, Lix.”

 

“Nah mate, it really is~” he begins to laugh once again so hard that the last word just turns into a wheeze and his eyes tear up, “maybe we should just head in without him,” Seungmin nudges Jeongin who surprisingly agrees. “Bye, Felix hyung,” he sings innocently and Seungmin’s eyes glances in satisfaction at the younger boy, “you take after me so well,” he jokes with a coy smile and drags Jeongin by the arm into the tattoo parlor, leaving Felix outside to laugh by himself.

 

It’s not so much a room as it is a space surrounded by hanging plastic, the kind used for quarantines, and Seungmin notices that it seems to be a common theme inside the Dauntless compound. Sure there are door to some places but not even the bathrooms have doors in their sleeping hall- that, though, might be for different reasons such as making the initiates less shy in front of each other and forcing them to get closer; a failed idea in Seungmin's personal opinion and he doesn’t appreciate the effort.

 

The room is quite big and there are chairs and beds everywhere, most likely enough for every initiate to find a seat, and some of them are occupied by heavily tattooed men and women, some with strangely colored hair and piercings, some of them in extremely little clothing- Jeongin’s blush says it all- and some of them look quite normal by Candor and Amity standards.

 

Along the ‘walls’ of plastic, there are large boards with numerous designs displayed of all kinds, some small and dainty with little flowers and swirls and some big and angry-looking with flames and dragons and guns. “There’s a lot to choose from,” Jeongin points out and Seungmin nods in agreement with a frown, yeah, there really is a lot to choose from, but the problem is, nothing looks like what Seungmin has in mind. He doesn’t want all of the swirls and flowers and hearts around his sun, and he doesn’t want flames or dragons shooting out of it either, he just wants a sun, as simple as the real sun is.

 

“See anything you like?” both of the boys turn around, startled by the deep and gruff voice resonating from behind them and Jeongin’s eyes widen by the sight of the man- he sure looks like he would have a very strong and angry-sounding voice; covered completely head to toe with ink.

 

“E-everything’s really pretty,” Jeongin stutters shyly, eyes darting around the room to avoid looking at the large man in front of him but Seungmin is less reserved and stares right at the man, not aggressively, at last not on purpose, but the man’s posture changes and his shoulders broaden- clearly not liking that Seungmin’s not a stuttering mess like Jeongin.

 

“Actually, I’m curious about something,” Seungmin speaks and the man a brow in wonder as if to say ‘go ahead’, not that Seungmin needs the green light to speak his mind, “if I have a design of my own that I’d like to get, where do I go from there?”

 

“My designs not good enough for you?” Jeongin feels like this is the moment Seungmin should apologize profusely and tell him his designs are lovely, however, Seungmin being Seungmin, tells him the truth, not that Jeongin should have expected anything less. “Yeah,” he tells him honestly.

 

The man’s face tenses and Jeongin notices his jaw twitching angrily, “sir, please don’t get him wrong. Your designs are very beautiful!” Jeongin tries to save Seungmin’s skin by flattering the man, however, the man surely isn’t one to be wooed easily because he barely pays Jeongin any attention. “We’re just wondering if you can tattoo something like...maybe… a little less Dauntless standard?” Jeongin continues borderline frantically, trying to get the man to see that they don’t want any trouble, that they wouldn’t dare.

 

The man a brow but at least some of the tension seems to seep away from his body and the man levels him with a look, much calmer than the one before, “see that wall over there,” he turns around halfway and nods towards the back where the first wall of the entire ‘room’ can be seen, stone as usual.

 

Seungmin and Jeongin simultaneously nod, “there’s a door on the left, in there you’ll find our resident freelancer, he does his own stuff by hand ‘cause apparently he’s too good for Dauntless,” the tattooed man spits out in distaste and shakes his head, “should’ve stayed in Abnegation,” and with that he leaves them.

 

As by magic, Felix shows up just then, having finally calmed down enough to talk again, “what’d I miss?”

 

“Nothing,” Seungmin answers casually, “but we found someone who’ll do my tattoo, hopefully,” and without any more words being spoken they head down towards the stone wall, which, at first glance, really does look like nothing but a stone wall but with close examination Seungmin sees the cracks in it forming a large rectangle large enough to be a door.

 

“Do we knock?” Seungmin shrugs and inspects the door closer, “how do we even know he’s in there?”

 

“I don’t know Felix, I know just as much about Dauntless as you do,” Seungmin says snappily and Felix huffs a breath, not exactly angry at being scolded but feeling just the tiniest bit rejected. However, he is given no time to nurse his wounded pride as the door opens all by itself and presents the room to them where only one man is seated, his hair a normal brown shade and his face soft and kind-looking. All in all he looks nothing like the other tattoo artists that work there, in fact, none of the three boys can see any tattoo on him, granted he’s wearing pants and a shirt that covers his back and chest and the entirety of his torso, but one would expect a tattoo artists to have at least one tattoo on their arm, at least judging by what the others look like.

 

“Can I help you?” the man’s voice is surprisingly soft and happy-sounding and his attitude welcoming to the kids that just walked in, Felix nods and points to Seungmin, “he wants you to do a tattoo for him, “ Felix says casually to which Seungmin nudges him in the ribs harshly enough for the boy to let out an ‘oof’ and rub at his tender side. “It’ll cost you,” the man answers and all three boys tilt their heads in confusion, cost them? How much? And how? It’s not like they have any money.

 

“But don’t worry,” the man says quickly when he sees their expressions fall, “I won’t take full price since you’re initiates, and transfers at that,” he smiles at them kindly and Jeongin feels his tense muscles soften and some of the tension from both himself and his friends seep away, this man doesn’t seem scary at all.

 

“I guess if you want your entire back covered it’ll be a little more but I think we can work with that as well,” he takes off the black gloves from his hands and stands up to go and greet them, he reaches a hand out to Seungmin to shake but Felix beats him to it. “I’m Felix,” Woojin spares the two other boys an amused glance before shaking Felix’s hand, “I’m Woojin,” the name sparks recognition in Jeongin and his eyes light up. Could this be the very same Woojin that cooks the delicious meals he eats daily?

 

“And you are?” Jeongin seems to have missed when Seungmin introduced himself because now  Woojin’s looking at him with his hand stretched out, “oh,” he mumbles shyly and grabs it to shake, “I’m Jeongin,” he replies and the man makes an ‘ah’ sound before giving him a blinding smile that Jeongin doesn’t feel that he's worthy of.

 

“So,” Woojin claps his hands together and sits back down in his chair, there’s only one other chair in the room and Felix ushers Seungmin to sit down in it while Felix and Jeongin lean against the wall behind him. “What exactly is it that you want that the others out there can’t offer?” he questions curiously and Seungmin flushes a bit, not enough for anyone to notice but he can feel his face heat up, this is such a stupid idea, he thinks, it’s not even that important.

 

“Uh,” he hesitates, unsure of what it is he really wants to say, “I want a sun,” he states, no embarrassment heard but his head is in turmoil. “A sun,” Woojin repeats with no judgment but it’s clear as day that he’s curious, “yeah,” and instead of questioning further like Seungmin thinks he will he simply nods and picks up a notebook and a pen.

 

He draws quickly with concentrated eyes, seemingly never stopping to think for a second, he just draws, and the only sound that can be heard in the room is the scratching of the pen flowing over the paper and their own breathing. “Something like this?” he turns the notebook around to show off three different kinds of suns he’s drawn and Seungmin’s eyes immediately fall on the smaller one at the bottom of the page. It’s a small sun small enough to fit on his wrist and it looks like it’s been painted with watercolors, the kinds that Seungmin’s has seen in books from before the war, no sharp lines, nothing too angular, it’s just soft and bright, even though it’s been drawn with a led pencil Woojin has managed to make it look like it’s actually glowing.

 

“That one,” he points to the sun and Woojin nods like he’s pleased with Seungmin’s choice, “yeah I like that one too,” he says with a soft smile, “do you want it in color or do you want it in greyscale?” oh, Seungmin hadn’t thought of that.

 

“What do you think?” he turns to his best friend like he always does when he’s unsure of something but Felix doesn't even bat an eyelash, “can you do it in white?” Felix addresses Woojin and the older man frowns, “white ink?” he questions to clarify and Felix nods.

 

Woojin seems to think for a while because he falls silent and looks at the wall for a couple of seconds, “I could, I don’t have a lot of it so if you want this sun all over your back that’ll be quite impossible but-”

 

“I just want it on my wrist,” Seungmin interrupts but if Woojin minds he doesn’t say anything, “alright, that’s doable,” he nods and rips the page with the drawing off his notebook and puts it on the desk next to a stack of papers in navy blue. “Alright,” Woojin claps his hands together, very much like Chan and Jeongin wonder if perhaps this really is the same Woojin. “Do you want to do it now?” he asks nonchalantly and Seungmin nods eagerly, “I don’t think I’ll ever do it if I don’t do it today,” he tells him honestly and Woojin huffs a laugh, “Candor huh,” Seungmin doesn’t bother to answer him with anything other than a nod. Woojin pulls out some drawers from his desk and begins to unload lots of foreign items onto the table, things that Seungmin has never seen before.

 

“Hey Minnie, I think I’m gonna head out and get some tattoos of my own,” Felix says casually like he’s talking about getting a glass of water and Seungmin has no idea how he can be so calm about getting something permanently tattooed onto his skin, this sun means a lot to him, and he doesn’t mean that a tattoo has to mean something, he just doesn’t understand how it can not. “Don’t go too crazy,” he tells him sternly, worried that if he leaves his friend without supervision he’ll come back with tattoos from his forehead down to his toes. “Don’t worry, I’ll have Jeongin with me,” he says confidently, a stark contrast from how Jeongin looks.

 

“If you grab Jeongin he’ll probably encourage you to get as many tattoos as you want so that he doesn't hurt your feelings,” Jeongin pouts and looks down at the floor but doesn’t say anything against it, only confirming Seungmin’s words. “I promise I won’t tattoo my face, how does that sound?” Felix hits him with the puppy eyes and it’s not that Seungmin’s particularly affected by them, but he knows that if Felix is resulting to using them then he must be really desperate, “fine, not the face,” Felix nods quickly and grabs Jeongin by the hand before practically sprinting out of the room.

 

“I take it he’s a Dauntless through and through,” Woojin mumbles casually while he puts on his gloves and Seungmin sighs heavily, “I just know one day that’ll get him in trouble,” Woojin laughs heartily and swabs some disinfectant onto Seungmin’s wrist, “oh it will, believe me.”

 

Seungmin chuckles, already feeling a lot more relaxed in the presence of Woojin, he’s got the very same calming effect as Jeongin has and Seungmin wonders if he’s a transfer or not. “Your friends seem nice,” Woojin says absentmindedly as he prepares a small cup with ink and grabs a long cord attached to a weird looking pen, Seungmin nods in agreement and stares at Woojin’s working hands, “yeah, they are,” he mumbles, “I’ve known Felix for years now but I only met Jeongin a week ago,” it feels weird to say it out loud, it’s not that he feels he’s known the younger boy longer than that, however it certainly doesn’t feel like he was living in Candor a week ago. He’s not too sure on why he’s telling Woojin all this either since they’ve just met, but Woojin gives off that calming and welcoming vibe, the one that says ‘this is a judge-free zone’.

 

Woojin squeezes out a white cream onto Seungmin’s wrists and rubs it into his skin gently, “this is a numbing cream, I stole it from the infirmary,” he tells him honestly but by the look on his face Seungmin can tell that he’s in no way in trouble for stealing it, as the small smile graces Woojin’s lips. “Do you know Minho-ssi, then?” Seungmin questions with a tilt of his head and Woojin spares him an amused look that Seungmin doesn’t know what it’s for, “yeah, he’s one of my closest friends, we’re the same age,” he tells him and Seungmin ‘ah’s.

 

Placing one of the blue papers from his desk onto Seungmin’s wrist and laying his drawing on top Woojin begins to draw in the sun much more harshly, the sun slowly goes from shades of gray to black and Seungmin hopes that it won’t look like that on him. But when Woojin peels off the papers Seungmin is pleasantly surprised to see that what’s left on his wrist is a rough drawing of his sun in blue, “wow,” he mumbles quietly and Woojin huffs a laugh, “cute,” he tells him and Seungmin blinks owlishly, not expecting the compliment.

 

“Now,” Woojin begins and Seungmin immediately notices the shift in his demeanor, from calm and nice to professional in seconds, “because of the numbing cream it won’t hurt but you will feel some slight pressure, just thought I should give you a heads up,” Woojin shoots him a smile and grabs the pen connected to the cord, he pushes a button on the side of it and it buzzes to life, the buzzing filling the entirety of the small room.

 

He dips he pen into the small pot of white ink and grabs a hold of Seungmin’s wrist with his other hand, he rests his own wrist in Seungmin’s open palm to get a better angle before he makes the first touch of the needle to Seungmin’s skin. Seungmin immediately understands what he meant by pressure because it sort of feels like his entire wrist is vibrating, but it doesn’t hurt.

 

Woojin keeps his focus on Seungmin’s wrist and sticks his tongue out to rest between his teeth in the corner of his mouth, “Woojin-ssi,” Seungmin’s almost shocked by how loud his voice suddenly sounds in the small room but Woojin doesn’t break his concentration in the slightest, only hums quietly for him to go on. “Why do you do this instead of the much simpler way like the other artists?” Woojin cracks a smile and looks up briefly at Seungmin to see nothing but genuine curiosity, “because this is how it was done many years ago, before the wars. And…” he trails off slightly as he dips the buzzing pen, or needle-he’s come to realize- into the white ink once more, “I quite like the work it takes, don’t get me wrong the other artists are amazing at what they do, but there’s a difference between designing it on a computer screen and scanning it onto someone’s skin and actually painting it into someone’s skin and making it look good.”

 

That does sound way harder, Seungmin agrees, but he can also appreciate the honesty Woojin is giving him. He can appreciate the beauty in doing something from scratch.

 

“I see,” there’s nothing more to be said after that and they leave the subject as it is but thankfully it doesn’t leave the atmosphere awkward or anything of that kind, they simply fall into a comforting silence. It’s only broken a few minutes later when Woojin pipes up, “is Jeongin-ah that Amity boy that doesn’t eat meat?” Seungmin frowns in confusion as to how Woojin would know that but then his expression brightens, “oh! You’re the Woojin who cooks then,” Woojin smiles and nods happily, “I hope he’s enjoying the food, Channie told me that someone else would be eating it but I didn’t get to meet him,” Seungmin finds it amusing how the cool facade of their trainers are slowly crashing as they continue to be exposed by their friends, first Binnie now Channie.

 

“He’s most definitely enjoying it, he did say something about more spices though but I wasn’t really listening,” Woojin lets out an ‘ah’ and smiles sheepishly, “I’m not so used to spices and as far as I know, Channie and I are the only ones who eat my food, most transfers from Amity and Abnegation have started eating meat.”

 

“He still liked it, he just said you could use more chili, I think,” Woojin makes a mental note of that as he continues filling in the lines on Seungmin’s wrist as well as adding free-hand details as he goes, “I hope he had an easy time finding everything though, I know the kitchen can be quite overwhelming.”

 

Seungmin snorts and rolls his eyes, “now he knows, but the first meal he ate was ice cold ‘cause he didn’t know how to use a microwave,” Woojin laughs heartily at that and shakes his head, “neither did I, I was surprised they still have that archaic technology here,” Seungmin hums in agreement and yet again they fall into silence, but this time only three minutes pass before it’s broken by Woojin shutting the buzzing needle off, “there, done,” he grabs some sort of wet wipe and wipes away the little blood and the blue color from Seungmin’s wrist and what’s left is a gorgeous white sun that almost looks exactly like a satellite picture of the sun, with explosions happening all over it and lava-looking substance shooting out from it, except it’s in white and looks soft and light. Seungmin’s can feel his heart in his ears.

 

“Do you like it?” questions, his voice filled with slight doubt because of the younger boy’s silence, however, he’s filled with relief shortly after because Seungmin looks up at him and tries to pretend his eyes aren't watering, “I really like it, thank you Woojin-ssi.”

 

“Please, call me hyung,” Woojin gives him a warm smile and Seungmin would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little flustered by the sincere kindness of the older boy, his head bobs in a hasty nod as he continues to admire his tattoo without looking up at Woojin. But then he remembers, “how will I pay you?” Woojin claps his hands together and spins around in his chair to grab something off the floor, when he spins back around again he’s got a trash bag in his arms which he hands over to Seungmin, “throw that away in the recycling room and we’re even.”

Seungmin stares like the older has just gained a third head but takes the trash bag from his hands anyways, “that’s it?” he levels the older with an incredulous look and Woojin hums like it’s an everyday thing, “yeah, that and…” he trails off at the end and Seungmin leans forward to egg him on, “yes..” he drags the words out and Woojin huffs with a shake of his head, “and, do well.”

 

Say what now? Do well? Seungmin thinks and tilts his head in question, Woojin notices his confusion and rubs his neck like he’s uncomfortable under the younger boy’s intense stare, “I mean, work hard and practice a lot, do as Chan tells you to,” Seungmin frowns and Woojin realizes that he’s not getting his point across.

 

“I’ve never seen you train so I don’t know how good you are, but I was a transfer just like you and your friends, and it’s no secret that we have it harder than the Dauntless-born, so I’m saying, you can repay me by throwing that bag away and getting through Dauntless training. I’ve really enjoyed talking to you Seungmin-ah, and you seem like a good kid, I’d hate to see you fail.” Seungmin’s speechless after Woojin’s small rant, they haven’t even known each other for an hour and yet Woojin seems to care about him, he’s unused to such affection from someone that isn’t Felix and it makes his heart skip a beat. He feels warm and fuzzy, not that he would ever admit that.

 

“Oh,” is all he can say and Woojin looks down sheepishly, “I’m sorry if that sounded weird Seungmin-ah, I just-”

 

“No!” Seungmin rushed out perhaps a bit louder than necessary but it makes Woojin stop and stare at him, “no?” he questions, eyes wary, and Seungmin tries to think of a clever response quickly, “I meant no as in, no, don’t take your words back. They didn’t sound weird, I just wasn’t expecting...you to care,” Woojin’s shoulders immediately drop and his features soften into a soft smile.

 

“We transfers gotta stick together, don’t we?” as much as Seungmin would like to wholeheartedly agree, he can’t help but feel like they’re not supposed to stick together, after all, they chose Dauntless, so now they have to be Dauntless, but perhaps on some level he can understand, as there are certain thing about Dauntless that he’ll never fully be able to understand solely because he’s not Dauntless-born- or even Dauntless for that matter, if his test is anything to go by- so maybe it isn’t too weird to stick to people that can empathize with you.

 

“I suppose,” he answers and hopes Woojin doesn’t press the matter further. He doesn’t. Instead, he claps his hands once more and pushes something on the side of the table and like magic, the door behind Seungmin opens. “You should go find your friends before that Felix breaks your rule,” that makes Seungmin remember that he didn’t come here alone and that his friend is indeed somewhere out there without his surveillance, and even worse, under the surveillance of Jeongin.

 

---

 

 

So Jeongin had been no help at all, in fact, he’d been encouraging Felix just like Seungmin predicted and Felix is now sporting one very large dragon on his left upper arm, three swirls- the symbol for air- on his chest, directly above his heart, and a small cross behind his ear. It’s not as bad as it could have been, thankfully, but Seungmin still sends Felix a look to which the boy only shrugs helplessly as if to say ‘what? I had your permission’.

 

“Did you get anything, Jeongin-ah?” Jeongin shakes his head and looks down at his shoes, and it has the two older boys frowning at him before sharing a look of their own, both boys noticing the tell-signs of lying. Seungmin raises his brow in question as Felix but Felix only shrugs, he’d been pretty occupied on his own so it’s possible that Jeongin got a tattoo without him noticing. “Alright,” Seungmin says, obviously not believing the boy but for once choosing not to question him, “anyways,” Felix claps his hands together to emphasize, “does anyone wanna go and explore this place a bit?” both Seungmin and Jeongin perk up at the idea and nod their heads eagerly, “well then that’s settled, let’s go!”

 

---

 

 

They’re sitting in the same waiting room as last week, only slightly more nervous now that they know what can happen in there, and how real it can really feel. And on top of having to do the fear simulation again, their trainer and leader Chan isn’t going to administer it today because something came up and he had to leave them, so not only will they be facing their greatest fears again, but it will also be in front of a complete stranger. Great, Jeongin thinks.

 

Yet again Felix gets called first but Seungmin has still not been able to figure out why the order is as it is, it’s certainly not by age nor by name. Felix waves them goodbye, Seungmin doesn’t miss how his hands are shaking, and then he’s out of sight and the door closes behind him.

 

Felix has only been inside the room once previously and yet it feels like a prison cell he’s lived in for thirty years, the color and the texture of the walls all too familiar to him, and especially the reclining chair in the middle. He sits down and grabs the glass the unknown man hands him, chugs down the same black liquid as before and hands the glass back, “my name’s Yugyeom and I’ll be administering your test today, if you have any questions, ask someone else,” the man- Yugyeom- tells him before he presses the cylinder tub to his neck and the familiar pressure returns. Felix leans back in the chair and closes his eyes wanting to get it over with as soon as possible and as he feels the effects beginning to take place and his consciousness fade away he begs that he won’t have to go through the same thing as last week again.

 

Felix awakes to an all too familiar picture- he’s sitting in his seat in his old classroom back in Candor, Seungmin directly in front of him and Karen to the right of him, their old teacher standing at the front of the classroom explaining some sort of equation that Felix can’t even begin to fathom. What am I doing here? He thinks as he takes a look around, there’s nothing out of the ordinary to be seen, no one’s got an eye hanging from its socket or their head smashed, brain spilling out on their desk.

 

It starts small, so small that he doesn’t even think much of it, he scratches his wrist where it itches and goes back to looking at the board and the impossible equation, the itching this time is in his fingers and it’s a bit harder to scratch but he tries his best. His wrist itches and tingles again and this time he takes a look at it to see if there’s anything visible disturbing him and at first he sees nothing but his wrist, no marks or anything. But then he sees it, the tiniest movement in the middle of his wrist, at first it only seems like a vein cramping, but then the cramping moves under his skin and it itches just like before. “What the-” he whispers to himself as he traces the movement with his eyes diligently.

 

In a matter of seconds, his whisper turns into a shout as he notices the shape of the cramping- the shape of a bug. And one becomes two, two becomes three, and suddenly he feels them everywhere. He practically falls out of his seat as he scratches his skin and screams, he feels them in his legs and pulls up the left pant leg to see his skin bubbling with all the bugs crawling under it, “get them out!” he shouts to no one in particular but his classmates only look at him funny and point at him, whispers of ‘that kid  is so weird’ can be heard’ and Felix cries at the bugs crawl up his body. He screams when he feels them climb up his chest and he bangs his fists against himself to try and squash them under his skin but it’s fruitless as they continue to climb and now he feels them in his hair. He shakes his head wildly and some of them fall off and land on the shiny white floor, he screams even louder when he sees them crawling towards him, “please! Squash them! There are bugs everywhere!”his teachers voice reaches his ears and he looks up through his tears to see his teacher at the front with her head tilted in confusion and a hand on her hip, “there are no bugs here Mr. Lee, this room is sanitized,” he screams at her, screams at his classmates, screams at Seungmin who hasn’t even turned his head towards him.

 

He screams and screams until he can’t anymore, his voice disappears as his body is overtaken by a coughing fit originating from the tickling in his throat, “no, no, no,” he begs hoarsely but then he feels it, the same thing that’s claiming the rest of his body, the unmistakable feeling of the bugs crawling up his throat, he coughs and coughs and tries to make himself throw up by heaving painfully but the tingling sensation continues as they make their way up and then he feels one on his tongue and he spits it out, he doesn’t stop spitting until his mouth has no saliva left and he has to pause to get his mouth wet again. But his begins to fill up with bugs and he heaves and lets his mouth fall open, leaning on his hands and knees to get the bugs to fall out of him, “please” he begs as more bugs continue to fall out of his mouth but every time one falls out the number in his body seems to double and he collapses on the floor, crying as the bugs crawl mercilessly through his body. He feels like it’ll never end.

 

But the little luck he’s got left is on his side because with the next bug that crawls out of his mouth his vision goes black and he wakes up in the dimly lit room with the strong urge to vomit, as if Yugyeom can read his mind a plastic bag is pushed into his hands and he immediately heaves heavily into it, this time actually managing to throw up and he’s pleased to see no bugs crawling in the bag, but he still feels like his entire body is tingling and he shudders and rolls his shoulder to try and get rid of the feeling, “that was ing disgusting, man,” Yugyeom tells him and Felix nods silently, still breathing heavily from throwing up. “You can sit here for like two minutes but you'll have to leave after that,” Felix bows his head in thanks and leans back in the chair, no longer feeling like he’s about to heave his lungs up but he’s not ready to stand yet, his legs feel like jelly and his mind foggy.

 

Yugyeom, who’s standing by the computer, shudders himself and turns back to Felix, “man, that sim is gonna give me nightmares,” Felix manages to chuckle weakly, his mouth tastes sour from throwing up and his throat feels raw but nonetheless he finds it funny, because now that he’s not in the sim anymore he realizes how truly unrealistic and bizarre it really was.

 

“Sorry dude, but your two minutes are up,” Yugyeom tells him with an ounce of sympathy visible on his face and Felix groans but reluctantly gets up from his seat, vomit bag in one hand and the other rubbing his sore throat, “there’s a trash can outside, you can just dump that-” he points to the bag, “-in there, okay?” Felix nods and bows in thanks but Yugyeom waves it off, “don’t worry about it, this isn’t the first time,” that makes Felix feel a little better about himself and he thanks him again before heading out, he spots the bin and hastily rids himself of the bag before dragging his hands through his hair and over his body in a full once-over, but when he feels no bugs he sighs in relief and heads down the corridor for some well-needed rest- he hopes all goes well for Seungmin and Jeongin.

 

---

 

 

Seungmin notices that he’s called in earlier this time and it only adds to the confusion of the order in which they’re called, he tries not to pay it any mind when his name is called  after only one person other than Felix has been called, sending a smile Jeongin’s way he leaves the boy alone with the other initiates and heads inside the familiar green room. The man tells him his name and asks him to sit down in the chair, and in what feels like a matter of seconds he's already downed the black liquid and is leaning back into the chair, the sting in his neck lasts for a bare moment before it’s gone and he feels the familiar feeling of losing consciousness beginning to overtake him.

 

When he awakens he’s strapped into a chair in a familiar hall, his legs and arms tied to the chair and his back in an uncomfortably straight position. He’s in the courtroom back in Candor, he realizes and immediately he feels his heart jump and his breath get caught. He’s been in this room before multiple times with his classmates when they’ve sat through hearings with criminals and even sentences, as a way of showing them what will happen to criminals and show them how they're sentenced. Someone places a cylinder object very much like the one used to inject them before the simulation, but this is not at all the same thing, this is an injection that forces you to tell the truth; the truth serum.

 

Seungmin has seen the truth serum in action before, seen as people’s secrets have spilled out of them and how much it has hurt them when they’ve tried to stop themselves when they’ve tried to lie. In some ways, he’s always hated it for being so forceful, for literally forcing people to spill everything you’re asking for, but in some ways, he’s always loved it solely for that reason. It’s easy to lie to someone’s face, to tell them you went to the bathroom when you actually snuck away to do something else or tell them you were homesick when you were actually skipping school to hang out with friends. But the truth serum doesn’t lie, and so, therefore, when someone has committed a crime, they can’t get out of it, there is no need for such easily made up things such as an alibi, not when you have the truth serum where no matter how many hours you spent memorizing your alibi won’t matter.

 

He feels it the moment the serum is injected into him, he feels all of his deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts resurface, feels them on the tip of his tongue; he tries to swallow the words before they’re spoken in front of the hundreds of people in the hall. “Kim Seungmin,” he perks up at the sound of his name and feels all the eyes in the room fall upon him, “do you know why you’re here?”  silently he begins to shake his head but it's like his neck locks in place and he can't move it to his wish, the man repeats the question again and yet again Seungmin tries to shake his head, only this time he can't fight it and he begins to nod.

 

I don't know why I'm here, why am I nodding! He stresses to himself. “Why are you here, then?” the man asks and Seungmin wants to scream that he doesn't know but even the thought of the words have him choking up, “I-” he begins, “I did s-something bad,” no I didn't!

 

“What did you do Mr. Kim?” nothing! “I k-k-killed someone,” he feels sick to his stomach as the words leave his mouth because it's not true, the truth serum is making him lie . And he can't stop it.

 

“You killed someone?” no, no, no! “Y-yes” his body hurts as he continues to try and tell the truth but all that comes out of him is lies. He's never killed anyone, he hasn't even bodily harmed anyone badly enough for it to be considered a crime (he's hit Felix, though, that doesn't count)

 

“For the crime you have committed, you will be stripped of your name, your faction, and everything attached to your name, you will be sentenced to thirty years in prison before you'll be released to the factionless” Seungmin screams in agony and it bounces off the walls in the overly acoustic room, “no please! I didn't-” with a painful groan he cuts himself off as it feels like he's swallowed multiple sharp blades and they scratch his throat. Why can't I tell the truth? Why am I lying?

 

Someone begins to roll his chair forward and Seungmin desperately tries to shake his head no but it’s so tightly stuck to the chair that he can’t turn no matter how much he tries. I haven’t done anything! You can’t do this! I’m innocent!  No words manage to leave his mouth and he feels physically sick as he’s taken away, strapped down into a chair made for criminals, and the last thing he sees before his vision blackens is his parents’ indifferent faces.

With a gasp he emerges from his simulation and pulls his legs up to his chest so he can rest his forehead on his knees, it wasn’t real this is real, you haven’t killed anyone, you’re not a criminal, you’re still Kim Seungmin.

 

“Gotta say, I’ve never seen the truth serum in action, but that was pretty terribl-”

 

“That wasn’t the truth serum,” Seungmin says harshly and glares at Yugyeom whose eyes widen slightly, “that wasn’t real, I- it made me lie,” Yugyeom realizes what he’s getting at and holds his hands up in defense, “wow, okay, I wasn’t saying you actually killed someone, I just- It doesn’t matter, just take a sec to breathe alright?”

 

Seungmin buries his face in his hands and in a deep breath to calm himself down, he didn’t mean to attack the man so harshly, he just wanted him to know that what he saw wasn’t true, but then again, Yugyeom must have seen enough of this to know that almost nothing is true in the simulations.

 

Hopping off the seat Seungmin steadies himself before bowing, “I’m sorry,” he mumbles before leaving for the exit, “hey, you don’t have to leave yet-” the door closes with a bang leaving Yugyeom behind in the empty room. Dragging a hand through his hair Yugyeom checks the next name on the list while silently cursing Chan in his head, promising himself to shout at him later for forcing him to do this.

 

---

 

Jeongin’s one of the last ones again, only difference is that this time Kaz has been moved up to third last and one of the Erudite transfers has ended up in the bottom with him. He expects the new man to call for the other boy but he’s pleasantly surprised when he’s called in before him, what kind of list is this?  He wonders while rising from his seat, “bye,” he waves towards the erudite boy who does nothing but look down at his feet and ignores him.

 

“O-kay,” paying the boy’s silence no mind Jeongin enters the room he’s been dreading and immediately takes a seat in the chair of nightmares. “I’m Yugyeom,” now let’s get this show on the road,” Yugyeom doesn’t give him any time to hesitate because in a matter of seconds he downs the black liquid, he's injected into the neck with the cylinder object and then his vision goes black.

 

Only to wake up in his old hammock back in Amity, the sun shining through the fluttering curtains and hitting his face, he feels the warmth on his skin and smells the fresh air, it smells like dirt and grass and home. It feels too good to be true, Jeongin thinks, and just as the thought crosses his mind he gets pushed out of the hammock and lands harshly on the wooden floor with a loud smack, his cheek hits the ground first and he groans in pain. “Get up,” a cold voice sounds in the room and Jeongin’s entire body freezes up, no, it can’t be, but it is,  right before him stands his father, face set in an angry scowl with his boots tightly laced and his hands balled into fists.

 

“I said get up,” he emphasizes the word with a kick to Jeongin’s stomach and the boy curls in on himself with a whine. With a struggle he gets himself up onto his hands and knees, slowly managing to stand up in front of his father who looks at him with a pleased look, “see, I knew you could do it, your brother would never listen to me, y’know, he would always ignore me out of spite,. But not you, son,” Jeongin tries to ignore the way his skin crawls when he hears the word son, “not you, you’re better than your brother,” no, you’re wrong .

 

Jeongin can’t help the wince when his father’s palm touches his cheek in a lovingly caress, so very different from mere seconds ago. Squeezing his eyes shut he hopes that his father missed the wince, hopes he’ll leave Jeongin alone now and go do something else. But of course, luck is never on Jeongin’s side, because the hand still on his cheek before disappearing altogether.

 

“Why do you cower under my touch, boy,” Jeongin knows that tone, has heard it more times than he can count and it’s never a good sign, “I-” there’s nothing he can say that’ll calm his father down, he knows that, if anything, no matter what he says he’ll only succeed in making him angrier.

 

The slap comes unexpectedly, on the same cheek his father so gently caressed, and his head whips to the side by the force of it. It stings and awful lot and Jeongin immediately tears up, “I’m sorry,” he mumbles without knowing what exactly it is that he’s apologizing for, “you’re sorry?” his father mocks and pushes him backwards so that he stumbles a bit over his own feet, “sorry for what?” I don’t know!

 

“I-I’m… for everything,” it’s not good enough, nothing ever is, and his father never hesitates in telling him so. When the next blow comes it’s a balled fist that hits Jeongin’s other cheek and makes his vision all blurry, his head feels all shaken and he stumbles on his own accord this time. “F-father-” the punch to his stomach renders him breathless and he falls onto his knees, desperately gasping for air.

 

“Don’t show weakness, Jeongin-ah! if there’s anything I’ve taught you it’s that!” his voice sounds hysterical and his eyes are open wide like he’s afraid to close them, he looks crazy, Jeongin thinks. “It’s time to man up, boy!” he kicks Jeongin right in the head with his heavy boots and Jeongin doesn’t think he’s ever experienced pain this bad, he falls heavily onto his side with nothing to catch him and closes his eyes.

 

“Be better than Hyunjin!” he lets out a sob at the mention of his brother and curls in on himself, “Hyunjin was evil and selfish, and only thought of himself, be better than that, be better than your brother,” Jeongin covers his ears and tries to block out his father’s voice. Hyunjin was anything but evil and selfish, he was anything but and Jeongin can’t stand to hear anything bad about him. “You need to be strong, son or you're gonna end up like him! You’re gonna end up like that basta-”

 

With a gasp Jeongin sits up, almost giving himself whiplash from the speed, and almost immediately a piercing headache rips through his head, “it’s the after-shock, your brain hasn’t...had the time to figure out that it wasn’t real, y’know” Jeongin nods despite not actually listening to what Yugyeom has to say, he just wants it to stop. “Just...give it some time,” Yugyeom’s never been the best at comforting and his strategy has almost always resulted in slightly offensive yet comedic jabs, but he doesn’t think that’s the best idea after he’s just witnessed someone get beaten up by their dad.

 

“I...you have a few minutes, just try to take some nice breaths, alright?” the headache’s beginning to lessen and slowly Jeongin manages to open his eyes without extreme pain striking him, it’s more of a dull headache now but he can deal with that, that’s nothing. But as the physical effects begin to disappear he starts to remember what he just went through, and surprisingly his first reaction isn’t that was horrible I never want to do that again, no, it’s how could I not realize that it wasn’t real? He called him Hyunjin, he never did that.

 

Without a word Jeongin hops off the chair and straightens his pants, remembering the stitches he got on his knee only a week ago and almost laughs right then and there, he had thought that was quite painful, not the worst but he’d certainly felt a bit sorry for himself, but now...he’d take  and getting stitches all day and everyday over what he just went through.

 

“Bye,” he mumbles to Yugyeom, so quietly he wonders if he even said it out loud himself, and then he leaves the room silently, not even bothering to hear how he did (because they are still being evaluated on this, it’s not just  for some sadistic fun, or at least Jeongin doesn’t think it is, he hopes.)

 

Not wanting to face Felix or Seungmin just yet, Jeongin heads to an empty staircase and sits down with his face buried in his hands, I should have known it wasn’t real, why didn’t I realize? He never wants to go through that again, never wants to do another fear simulation if all it’s gonna do is bring back his old memories because he doesn’t feel scared afterward, only sad.

 

He can’t help but think that it would have gone better if Chan was the one administering it, not that he knows Chan or trust him particularly, but he does feel...safe around him. Even after he slammed him up against a wall and shouted at him. For some reason Jeongin feels like there’s just a bit more to him than just he icy persona that matches his silver hair, he kind of reminds him of Hyunjin, in a way. Not that he knows how it could possibly have gone any better just because Chan was in the room with him, but a boy can dream. But...why wasn’t Chan there?

 

---

 

“What happened?”

 

“A group of rebels set up over by the hill, we couldn’t have seen them coming!” a distraught soldier answers as he jumps out the back of one of their trucks, “everyone’s marked with a color, most of the black tags are in the second truck,” Minho nods, face as emotionless as possible, if he shows he’s alarmed by anything chaos will ensue.

 

“Alright listen up!” he shouts above the pained screams of the soldiers, “yellow ones go directly to the clinic! Red tags are a priority, orange tags are second, black tags...you know the drill,” everyone begins to lift out the injured ones from the vans and those that can walk on their own limp away toward the clinic.

 

“Minho-ya!” a shout comes from around the second van and when he looks over his breath hitches, Hwang’s lying on one of the stretchers, his lips stained red and his chest rising and falling with difficulty. “Hwang,” he whispers to himself before grabbing his medical bag and rushing over, he’s red-tagged, I can work with that .

 

“H-hyung,” Hyunjin mumbles out, his entire midsection is covered in blood and he’s pale and clammy, Minho immediately grabs his stethoscope and takes a listen, “diminished breath sounds on the left side, .”

 

“What does that mean?” one of the soldiers asks urgently and Minho gestures for the people around to help him move the stretcher, “tension pneumothorax, it’s ah- his lung’s collapsed and it’s leaking oxygen into his chest, we need to move him, quick! and someone call Chan!”

 

“H-hyung,” Hyunjin gasps out and Minho looks away from him, “quit your whining, Hwang, you’ll be fine,” when Hyunjin suddenly falls silent, not even a breath escaping him, Minho stops hastily and gestures for the others to do as well. “, !”

 

He opens his medical bag and pulls out large bore, “someone cut his shirt open, we’re gonna have to do this here,” pulling out some antiseptic liquid he squirts his over Hyunjin’s chest and rubs it in to get as much of the germs away before cleaning the bore as well, “he feels around for the correct spot and when he finds it he takes a deep breath, “this better work, don’t you die on me,” he mumbles before sticking the needle directly into the younger man’s chest.

 

---

Thanks for reading! And happy new year!!!<3 <3 <3