I ran as quickly as I could in my six-inch stilettos, desperate to escape. My heart was racing so fast that I could hear the pounding against my chest. Every inch of my skin burned as if I had bathed in acid. It just hurt so damn much and I didn't know how to make it stop.

It seemed to take an eternity to reach my room. The place was a colorful mess with clothes thrown around everywhere. I sank in a nearby chair accompanied by a large mirror, my legs finally giving way from the running. My lungs screamed for air, but there wasn’t enough time for that. Breathlessly, I began to sob as if something had died within me.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection - I was a total wreck, my dyed hair untidy and mascara streaming down in ugly streaks.

I was a freak, a product of my own addiction and toxicity. My life had been average not too long ago. I had been just a normal teenage girl pulling allnighters to study for her national exam. All I had cared about were my grades and what I would be eating for dinner after I left the library.

Everything had been so ordinary. But ordinary was far better than this.

Now look at me, I was a monster, on the verge of self-destruction.

And everything leading to my downfall had started only months ago...

***

I was dreaming about rice cakes when the buzzing of my phone abruptly woke me. Shoot, when had I fallen asleep?

Nayoung ah. I’m going to be home late so make sure to eat dinner. Study well!

My mom had texted me – was she working late again? I was starting to get concerned about her health. Ever since my father had passed away, it had been really difficult for her. She had taken up two jobs just to put food on the table. I understood why, but it still pained me to know that she was struggling on my behalf.

But that would all change when I get into Seoul University. That was my one motivation. I would make my hard-working mother proud. So far, I was acing my courses and on top of my class, but that was nowhere enough. It all came down to the national exams. I had to be the highest 1% if I wanted to even be considered for a scholarship.

Feeling inspired, I looked down at my text book and quickly wiped off a trail of drool sullying the page. I grazed over the numbers and grinned – it was calculus and math was my strongest subject. Quickly, I dove headfirst into the world of derivatives and integrals. Actually, double differentiations were pretty fun. My goodness, I was such a nerd.

Truth be told, I was the geek in my circle of friends. I helped them with homework and they bought me food for my services, knowing I was trying to cut down on my spending budget. I was always top five when it came to tests in my school so everyone knew my name. At least I wasn’t bullied, my friends were my protective armor when it came to that. When older seniors came to bother the nerdy looking kids, my friends blocked me and made a wall that no one would dare to cross.

Especially my friend Hayoung was the best. She was popular and strong headed. If we hadn’t been friends since we were kids, she wouldn’t have ever looked my way – she was so much more beautiful and charming than I was. Besides, we were totally different on all fronts; she was a gossiper who lived and breathed anything k-pop and k-drama related while I hardly watched television besides the morning news. The only CDs I had ever bought were all by classical pianists, and I was sure Hayoung had been a fan of Shinhwa since she could crawl and now she “stanned” at least a dozen boy groups.

We were different, but that had always been a good thing for us. We were like two puzzle pieces that looked completely different, but fit perfectly together. She gave me makeovers during slumber parties, and I tutored her so she wouldn’t fail her classes. I needed her and she needed me. Our friendship was always a win-win situation.

I was back to concentrating on my calculus problems when my thoughts were interrupted by the soft vibration of my phone. This time, it was an alarm rather than a message. Once, I had done an all-nighter without meaning to – I was one of those students who pushed themselves to cram as much information into their brain as possible. I had thought to myself, one more problem, I’ll go after this one for sure, maybe just one more… and then suddenly, I had realized it was already morning.

I didn’t mind getting no sleep, but I couldn’t risk being sick. I had to take care of myself. If I didn’t take care of myself, who would be there to take care of my mother?

Anyway, after that incident – and many more like it – I had set an alarm for midnight. I was kind of like Cinderella. Except the glass slipper. Plus a heavy backpack that almost snapped my waist in half.

I gathered my books and headed outside. It was pitch black as usual, and I was bummed that it still hadn’t stopped raining.

The way home was emptier than usual, but I kind of liked being alone. Not that I was anti-social, but I appreciated being by myself. Maybe it came with my personality as a single child. The night was hazy with no stars in sight. A half-moon loomed over me ominously, providing just enough light so that I wouldn’t clumsily trip over myself. It that I had forgotten to bring an umbrella – I wore my backpack backwards so that I could hug it and protect my books from getting wet.

It took a good twenty minutes to reach the convenient store. It was a small place and no one hardly visited with a big supermarket open 24/7 just a few miles away. But it was my safe haven, a place I stopped by every day after the library to pick up some snacks and maybe my favorite ramen.

“Hello, Uncle,” I greeted with a bow when I entered.

“Nayoung, you’re soaking wet!” Mr. Kim cried and hurried over to me with a towel. “Silly girl, you’re going to catch a cold.”

I gratefully took the towel from him and dried off my damp hair. “No worries, you know how healthy I am. I never get sick,” I announced proudly with a wide grin.

Mr. Kim smiled at me. “Just be careful, alright? Don’t worry your mother.”

“Yes, sir,” I saluted him. “By the way, do you have—”

“—the Bear Ramen in stock?” he chuckled as he completed my sentence. Gosh, he knew me so well. “Actually, they hardly come in anymore with the popular brands dominating the market. There might still be some left in the back, you should check.”

“Ugh, but Bear Ramen is the best,” I groaned. Seriously, I had been eating the same brand since forever. It was absolutely delicious and it had also been my father’s favorite. It reminded me of him every time I smelled the scent.

I walked to the back of the store in the instant noodle aisle and there it was in all its glory.

One Bear Ramen left, waiting for me. It had known I would come.

My fingers were already wrapped around the packaging when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“Excuse me.”

I turned around so fast, I almost elbowed the boy if he hadn’t backed away. “Yes?” I asked. He looked at me then looked at the ramen in my hand. I protectively hugged it close to my chest. “What can I help you with?”

The boy swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, but can I have that?”

My instincts kicked in and I began to scrutinize the crook: his brown hair was wet and disheveled as if he had been running a marathon. Actually, he was kind of cute with a small pale face and two slated eyes. His tiny mouth was pouting like a child’s.

“No,” I said firmly.

He raised an eyebrow. “C’mon, let’s be civil here. We can settle this with a dual.”

“What—”

“Rock, paper, scissors…”

“Shoot!” we shouted together. It was so satisfying to see the other’s face fall in defeat as my paper beat his rock.

“Okay, you win,” he said disappointedly and started to walk away. “Hope you enjoy the best ramen in the world.”

“The best ramen…” I muttered, finding myself impressed by his correct judgment. I felt a twinge of guilt as his sulking face slowly left my sight. “Wait!” I called after him.

“Hm?”

I begrudgingly handed him my precious ramen. “Here, you take it.”

“Wait, do you mean it?”

“…Yeah, I guess…”

Without a moment of hesitation, he snatched the ramen out of my hands with a cheer. Then he pulled me into a tight embrace.

I stayed rooted in place, feeling myself go hot as I felt his chest beat against mine. What was the matter with me? I could feel my heart racing out of control.

Was I a ert?!

The other boy didn’t notice my strange response to his actions. Instead, he shot me a large smile, his cheeks so adorably bunching into tiny dumplings.

“Thank you, you are my savior!”

“S-Sure…”

He pecked me on the cheek, almost giving me a heart attack. Wow, now that I thought about it, when was the last time I had interacted like this with a guy? I wasn’t the type to crush on anyone – actually, Hayoung called me cold because I was never interested, even when she tried to set me up. Was I finally going through puberty?

I had to tell Hayoung about this tomorrow. She would go frantic.

“What’s your name?” he asked before leaving, the ramen held tightly in his arms like a trophy.

“Shin Nayoung.”

He grinned again and, my goodness, he was adorable. “Hey, our names rhyme.”

“Oh, what’s your name?”

“Soonyoung. Kwon Soonyoung.”

***

The next day was just as cloudy as the previous. It was just one of those days where you wanted to bang your head over and over again against a table. It started out with me taking my insanely big umbrella – it was probably meant for three people, but my backpack was double my size – and it didn’t even rain. Then I spilled coffee all over my English book so I had to skip lunch to dry it using a hair blower that I borrowed from my swimmer friend. My literature score came back lower than expected and my gym teacher scolded me for lagging behind during our laps around the school. Plus, I was famished, having skipped three meals in a row.

Worst of all, Hayoung was out sick. Today of all days when I finally had something to gossip about.

The mysterious boy who had robbed me of last night’s dinner was far out of my mind when I headed towards the library. Besides, it wasn’t like I would ever see him again. I practically knew everyone in town, having lived there for so long, and yesterday had been the first time I had seen him. He was probably just visiting his really distant aunt who lived alone with her twenty cats.

I ended up nodding off again and waking up to my alarm. Dammit, I had hardly studied. My shoulders felt heavy and I was burdened by my own disappointment. I tried to shake it off by pushing myself to study for another hour, but my eyelids were too heavy and I was in desperate need of food and sleep.

My hands were full because I had checked out an extra biology text book. At least my umbrella acted as a cane as I dragged my feet back home. I was exhausted and everything was so heavy, I wanted to just collapse and nap on the street.

With every last ounce of my energy, I reached the grocery store with its old blinking sign. My arms struggled to push open the door, but I managed, knowing my only form of medicine was waiting inside.

Bear Ramen.

“Uncle,” I called out weakly.

Mr. Kim greeted me with a smile, oblivious to my dying state.

“Do you have…”

Suddenly, he frowned and my heart sank. “It’s still not in stock?”

“No, they actually stocked Bear Ramen today.”

I felt my hopes rise up.

“But someone bought all of it just over an hour ago.”

Wow. Tears sprung up against my will. I wanted to give up. How could the world be so against me?

“I’m so sorry, Nayoung… I wanted to save one for you, but he seemed determined to buy every last one,” Mr. Kim explained apologetically.

“It’s okay…” I muttered, unable to hide my distress. “Good night, uncle.”

“Good night, dear.”

I almost stumbled on my way out, having lost the one thing I was looking forward to all day. Whoever the bastard was, I wanted to curse him to eternal misery in hell.

I wasn’t even hungry anymore. I was absolutely defeated.

“Nayoung?”

I turned my head slowly, barely having the strength to do so. The voice sounded familiar, but the figure jogging towards me was wearing a cap that securely hid his eyes.

As he closed the distance between us, I gasped, surprised by his identity.

“It’s you!”

He rushed over, carrying multiple grocery bags. Was that… Bear Ramen?

Suddenly, I had the urge to cry.

“This is my gift of gratitude for yesterday,” he said with a soft smile. He raised up the bags to show me.

“T-Thank you.”

He leaned in closer to observe my face. He held my gaze with his pretty black pupils. “Are you… crying?”

I quickly looked away with a sniffle. “I just had a tough day, okay?” I snapped.

He leaned away and chuckled. “Hopefully, I brightened your day a little.”

I couldn’t help smiling. He really had.

“Do you live around here?” he asked. I nodded.

“In that case…” He reached out and took my heavy backpack from me. At first, he seemed taken aback by the weight. “What are you, a sumo wrestler?” he joked playfully.

“You don’t have to…” I began to protest.

He shushed me. “Give me your enormous umbrella and your text book, too,” he commanded and I shyly obeyed. I exchanged my things for the grocery bags full of ramen.

We began to walk side by side. Silence etched between us and I honestly had no idea what to say. Did I make casual conversation? Or praise him for coming to my rescue on such a stressful day?

“How did you get to know about Bear Ramen?” he suddenly blurted out. Then he blushed, realizing it was a strange question. “I mean… it’s not like a popular brand and not a lot of people even know of it.”

“My father liked it,” I explained and I found myself reminiscing. “It was his favorite. We even ate it on his birthday rather than seaweed soup. He said that it has the perfect combination of spices and that it reminded him of his grandmother’s cooking.”

“Your father sounds like an intelligent man,” Soonyoung complimented approvingly.

“Yeah, he really was.” He seemed to stiffen as he caught onto my usage of the past tense. I quickly redirected the question back to him, “Why do you like Bear Ramen so much?”

“I always thought it was superior amongst all brands. Yesterday, I was telling my dongseng about it, but he wouldn’t believe me. He thinks Shin Ramen is the best.”

We both cringed. Shin Ramen? Really?

“Your dongseng has bad taste,” I commented.

He nodded. “But he’s really cute. Anyway, I’m usually not allowed out, but I ran as fast as I could after practice to grab one for him. He obviously changed his mind as soon as he took his first bite.”

I gave him a thumbs up. “Good job on converting one, sir,” I said, making it sound like we were part of some Bear Ramen cult. “We must be responsible of spreading the truth.”

“We will make sure to tell the world,” he agreed, playing along.

We both giggled lightheartedly. My heart fluttered at the sound of his laughter.

“Um, you said you ran out yesterday after practice? What practice was it?” I inquired, feeling the urge to learn more about him.

“Dance practice,” he answered and it was fascinating how his eyes lit up like stars. It was clear that he was very passionate about whatever kind of dancing he did. I quickly glimpsed at his frame, hoping that he didn’t catch me and think I was a ert for staring at his physique. Upon careful examination, he did have a very lean structure with really good proportions. There was also a beautiful line about his body – I didn’t have to be Sherlock to know that he was probably very skilled in his arts.

“How about you? Why are you always out so late?” he asked.

I nodded at the book in his hand. “Library, studying.”

“Oh, wow, such a good student,” he said impressed.

“I need to get a scholarship for college,” I claimed, determined. “I don’t want to burden my mother anymore. I should be able to take care of us both.”

“I can tell you’re really hard working,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll get that scholarship. But just be careful at night. It’s very dangerous for a pretty girl.”

Wait, did he just…

I was shocked into silence. I knew they were just words and he probably hadn’t meant to compliment my looks, but for some reason, I was so shook.

He didn’t say much after that comment either and he never looked at me so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. In quiet, we walked until we finally reached my small apartment.

“This is it,” I told him, trying to sound casual. Like I wasn’t affected by that earlier statement at all. No way.

He put my backpack down and leaned it against the door. “Guess this is good night then.”

“Will I see you again?”

I went red as soon as I blurted out those words. Crap, I sounded so desperate.

A grin was playing around on his lips and… was he blushing, too? I bit my lip, anxiously waiting for his reply.

“I really hope so,” he finally answered shyly. My heart did a double jump.

Drowning in bliss, I waved him goodbye and opened the door as he watched me safely enter. His gaze was so warm and I loved how he continued to smile until the very end.

After I closed the door, I slowly slid down to the ground, my legs giving way. But it wasn’t due to the exhaustion or the immense stress from the day. My heart was pounding in a strange way that I had never experienced, like a horse galloping on a field full of dandelions. It was overwhelmingly delightful that I could hardly feel my physical body.

It felt so perfect that I never suspected the poison that had now entered me and was slowly spreading across my soul.

The sweet poison that was Kwon Soonyoung…

 

---

[A/N]: Hello! My first Seventeen fanfic. I am a relatively new Carat, but I am totally fascinated by Hoshi... Sweet Kwon Soonyoung, haha. I thought it would be fun to write a fanfic for him <3 Feel free to imagine yourself as Nayoung lol (that's what OC's are for). Please feel free to give feedback as I'm not the best writer out there, but I'm always looking to improve! Thank you for reading~ Until next time~