Wendy was announced to be the person taking over the team.

And Seulgi had thought it would have been funny to joke about her departure.

And I had been strong enough to laugh along with her even when it re-opened the wounds on my already bleeding heart.

“ Seungwan will need your help to be more organised when I’m gone.”

It was hard when she left.

Maybe I shouldn’t have let go when she embraced me for the last time.

Maybe I should have told her the things that I had wanted to tell her.

But that would have been acting on my feelings, wouldn’t it?

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Of what exactly, no one knows.

Especially if that distance, was never-ending and bound to a memory.

They say the truth hurts.

And it’s true.

They say honesty is the best policy.

But I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Maybe I would have preferred if I was lied to.

Because it might have been a lot easier if someone had stabbed me back then.

Maybe then I wouldn’t need to have these painful tears searing through my skin when Wendy broke the news to us.

Maybe then I wouldn’t have to meet Seulgi again like this.

So many maybes, that I was angry about because they would only remain as what ifs from now on.
 

But what could I have done to prevent this?

Who was I to have done anything, anyway?

—

The coldness of the room from the rain outside was nothing compared to the coldness of my dying heart.

Nor could it compare to the coldness of my life, without Seulgi in it now.

I would have preferred if she had made it to the States, safe and sound.

I would have preferred that we have crossed paths but never met even after saying goodbye.

I would have preferred that I would be the only one that would be sad as long as she was alive and happy.

But life has a way of playing with you.

Life is full of surprises anyway.

And disappointments.
 

And that was how I found myself dressed in black and paying my respects to Seulgi.

It turned out to be that Seulgi had been caught in an unfortunate accident on the way to the airport that cost her life.

They say good things happen to good people.

So why is it that Seulgi had to be the one losing her life in the accident?

—

It’s been weeks, but I found myself in that same corner of the room as I would have be