It didn't take much for Sana to cry. Really, all it took was a simple Momo and a really hurtful indirect rejection. 

---

 

She walks, quite rushed, actually, because there's something she has to see for herself, even though she won't ever admit it's something she wants to see. Rather, needs to see.

 

She turns by the corner, just by the grade nine sector of the hallway, and takes a quick peek inside the classroom. It was barely filled, almost barren, if you didn't count the two people who were inside, giggling happily to each other.

 

She gulps, in preparation for the things she dared herself to look at, and what she saw was exactly the things she imagined. The happiest fourth year alive, and the gentlest third year she's ever seen. It hurt her so much to just sit there, watching every move they made, smiling with jubilant faces, and the atmosphere just seemed oh so perfect.

 

It was hard to watch, but it was even harder to know that she knew she couldn't do anything. 

 

-- 

 

Days pass, and it's still the same, plain, boring space of a life. She felt useless, in fact, even abhorrent, and much more detestable than the slugs she oh so despised. Being weak was just icky.

 

"You okay?" Momo asks, concern staining her face, she had this look of pity that Sana hated. Sana nodded, "I'm alright.," She looks away, and that look of the shorter girl's seemed like it wasn't going away any time soon. She tries to touch Sana's arm, probably in a fruitless attempt to make her feel better, but all that came out of Sana's mouth was a tired sigh, an incoherent mutter, and a phrase Momo ever expected to hear from her. 

 

"I hate you.:

 

--

Momo's scared. She doesn't want to be alone. She never wanted to be. Someone she never expected to come near her comes near her. "Hey, Momo are you alright? As your friend you should tell me." Her breath brushes against Momo's ear, and it's hard to contain herself when her crush is only a few inches away from her. 

 

She doesn't look, she remains frozen. "Sana hates me."

 

A flash of guilt crosses against Nayeon's eyes, but Momo doesn't notice. In fact, she never does. "Why?" She asks, tone innocent, as if she didn't know the reason beforehand. She was aware it was her fault, but it was fun, because she knew Momo would choose her. Completely aware that Momo would always, always choose her.

 

Minutes become hours, hours become days, days become months, and months become excruciatingly long periods of time that Sana would gladly trade for something better .(Like Momo perhaps) The class is eerily quiet, and it's also eerily

 

it's also eerily peaceful. It's never been like this.

 

And Sana assumes it never will be, because the person she never wanted to see pops up at the second she thought of her. "What is it, Momo?" She speaks. Her eyes are still glued to the view outside. Momo swallows her pride and says the words she thinks she's not allowed to say, but for some reason, she feels as if she has to say it, "I have a crush on someone." 

 

It was as if a cry was lodged in Sana's throat, and really, all she can say is a small "I don't care, why tell me?"

 

Momo lowers her head, enough so that Sana doesn't see her expression, (even if she's looking outside of the window, there's still a part of her inclined to look), and Momo mutters harshly, "Because I used to love you, and I probably still do."

 

Sana stares, with her eyes completely open, still at the window, and she slowly moves her head towards Momo, only to be unable to see her expression. (thx to the lowering of her head).

 

They both just keep silent, not letting out any sound, and as for Sana, all she could say is that 'I love you more than you know.' 

 

Except it wasn't a sound, and it was all in her mind.

 

-- 

Life has increasingly become boring, and the cutter in her room looks demanding. It begs to be used. For something, for anything.

 

Even that.

 

--

 

She goes to school. People are staring, people keep asking what's the bandage on your arm for, but you shrug it off, your excuse being 'I hit my arm'

 

It's a stupid, stupid excuse.

 

--

 

She's called by the teacher, and her friends are worried. The teacher attempts to try and pry anything from you, maybe something bad happening at your house, anything. Nothing comes out. 

 

All the teacher does is just stare at her haggard face.

 

She wants Momo. No, she needs Momo. She has to see Momo right now, she has to get Momo to hug her, to kiss her, and to tell her that she won't ever have to cry, because Momo will stick with her through every step of her life.

 

That's what Momo does. She goes to Sana's house, enters it, and hugs the Sana sprawled across the bed, ignoring the pillow wet with tears, and she says "Everything will be alright.", and for the first time in almost a month, Sana actually feels like it will be.

 

--

The next day is here, and Sana feels quite alright. She's actually happy that she woke up without having her pillow drenched in tears, and the only letdown is that Momo is gone. 

 

But she can't help but smile.

 

--

She goes to school, and her face isn't as haggard anymore. She locks eyes with a certain fourth year student. Above all, Momo notices something. Nayeon is glaring.

 

"Sana, you okay?" Someone asks her, and their eye contact is broken, Sana turns to look at the person, and it's Momo. The short-haired girl abruptly speaks, "If you need to tell me something, tell me, okay?" 

 

Sana, her smile almost invigorating, and she speaks,"Sure."

 

--

 

The next few hours go by in a blur. A certain fourth year slaps her, and a grin is plastered on Sana's face, because she knows that Momo will choose her. 

 

She likes the pain. No, she loves it.

 

--

 

"Is there anything going on with you and Nayeon?" Sana asks, her eyes glued to her phone, and Momo replies, eyes wide open. "N-nothing."

 

Sana suspects something is happening, but she'd rather dwell in her happiness rather than respond to the future which she is almost sure something bad will happen.

 

But she doesn't want that, all she wants is Momo, and Momo.

 

She’s happy, but not quite.

 

She sees them together, kissing in the empty corridors, looking at each other lovingly, exactly like how they did in the beginning. 

 

She hated this, so, so much.

 

But at the same time, the fact that she knows Momo's just playing with Nayeon and in actuality is choosing Sana makes her smile like a kid. It makes her feel so, so superior. 

 

---

 

“Stop playing with both of them, you’re just hurting them both at the same time. Choose one.” Jihyo says, her tone serious. It wasn’t like her to be serious, it was quite rare, in fact. Momo mutters, from under her breath, “I’ve already chosen one.”

 

She thinks Jihyo didn’t catch that, but she did. “Don’t lie to me. Why’re you still playing with Nayeon then?” Her voice is stern, strict, and her voice reeks of venom. The short-haired girl chuckles lightly, “I’m in love with her.” 

 

--

Graduation comes. The day Sana’s been waiting for. 

 

She’s particularly excited about seeing Nayeon graduate, because then she can have Momo all to herself, and no will ever try to steal her.

 

She approaches Momo,  but she stops when she realizes that Momo’s attention is focused on one person and one person alone, and the person in question is showing the exact same attention Momo gives. “You’re the only one I truly love.” The taller girl spoke, with her husky voice resounding within the empty bathroom.

 

“You too.” Her smile is gentle, and it’s a smile Momo’s never once shown her.

 

It hurts, and an aching feeling is in her heart, and everything is just horrible.

 

--

It’s tempting, so she lets herself be pulled in.

 

She jumps.

 

Everything is over.