Hearing her voice after so many months, live and unadulterated, Jinki could feel his stomach twist in a familiar knot. It was so… perfect. When he walked away from her one year ago at that train station, he never thought that he would ever see her from the same angle again, her small frame silhouetted against the harsh stage lights.

But yet, here he was – stepping out from the shadows and into the light that casted over her as she sang. She looked so… perfect. The train of her dress was long and fluffy, and briefly, Jinki wondered how she managed to walk with it trailing behind her.

The whole situation still seemed a little surreal. Jinki swallowed and glanced to his right as he walked slowly towards Jessica and felt his breath hitch a little. There they were, on the large screen behind her, photo after photo of them from a year back when they first performed this song and the producers made them take photos to look like a couple. For the background, they said, but they didn’t use them in the end, because the stage then didn’t accommodate a screen.

Jinki saw now that they did have a use for the photos after all. He felt the microphone slip around in his palm – the photo montage of them acting like lovers did nothing to calm his nerves. He caught sight of one photo, where Jessica was leaning her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, smiling in the fashion he was so familiar with. They looked so happy, so peaceful… Jinki felt a lump rise in his throat at the thought and looked away quickly.

He’d almost forgotten how happy they had been, before he went and screwed it all up.

When he started singing, it almost felt like the words were meant for Jessica, and he was talking to her through the lyrics. He didn’t take his eyes off her, trying to sing all the things he wanted to say, and in any case… he couldn’t. She was just so beautiful that it commanded his whole attention. Was it his own imagination, or did she appear different than when he last saw her? She was just as lovely in form, but seemed… Jinki couldn’t put his finger on it as hard as he tried to. Letting it go for the moment, he focused his attention back to the words he was singing.

“How has your one year been?”

Jinki really wished he could know the answer to that.

***

It was only when he finished that he realized she hadn’t even given him one look. From the time he stepped out unto the stage till his last line of his chorus, she remained stoic, facing the stage and looking straight ahead. Gazing so intently at her and receiving not even a glance in return, Jinki felt his heart constrict.

I’m sorry…

When he reached her side, he couldn’t even look at her anymore. Turning so he faced the same direction as she did, they both sang to the audience. A little narcissistic, but it occurred to Jinki that they sounded damn good together.

The feeling of singing together though, was a little less than perfect.

She was cold. Jinki felt hard coldness so strong as though it radiated from her, but he knew it was because he had known her so well before to read her like a book. She was cold, and she had a reason to be…

He suddenly recalled on of their many quarrels.

“Where did you go?”

“-Somewhere—“ (He remembers her glancing away as she answered.)

“-I don’t get why you can’t just tell me-!” (He remembers shouting, and pretty loudly too.)

“And I don’t understand why you like to interrogate me like-like I’m some sort of criminal!”

(He remembers her slamming the door behind her.)

“Fine, just leave and not explain, why don’t you!”

(He remembers throwing something at the door that shattered and spewed everywhere.)

Now, standing so close to her but feeling the cold wall between them, he realized she had become a stranger. She won’t even look at him-

“Look at me! Why won’t you look at me unless you have something to hide?!” (Jinki rarely got angry like that, but feeling like he was hitting against a brick wall trying to get through to Jessica just made him so frustrated.)

“You always over-react, Jinki! I don’t owe you any explanation-!”

(Jinki prefers not to think about it, but he knows he had hit Jessica at this point.)

They finished the song and the crowd went crazy, but Jinki can’t believe that Jessica hadn’t moved throughout the whole performance. She hadn’t even turned towards him… not even a little. It still felt unreal, even as he watched Jessica stalk off the stage and rushed to follow her.

And how ironic, the images flashing behind them and the way they were acting towards each other. Walking backstage, Jinki couldn’t help but remember the way he’d hugged Jessica at the end of their first performance together, and the lovely smell of her shampoo and curve at the small of her back where he’d rested his hand on.

***

Jinki called out before he could stop himself.

“Jessica-!” At that moment, several sensations hit him at the same time. The first one was the strangeness of the formality, because after all, after knowing the way she slept and dreamt and sang and cried, he was back to being a stranger to her. Another was the familiarity of the moment; so reminiscent of the first time he’d approached her. And the last… was how much like an angel she looked as she spun around, her hair swishing from the sudden action.

She froze upon seeing him.

And then, before Jinki could do anything, she turned around and continued walking.

“Wait, Jessica, please!”

Jinki couldn’t let her go any further. He couldn’t let this end the same way it had the last time they’d talked.

Running up to her, he grabbed onto her arm. He felt her stiffen at his touch, and considering what he did to her, he couldn’t blame her.

“It’s been long… can we talk for a second, please?” He whispered, softly, gazing intently at her. He wanted so much, at the moment, to bend forward and kiss her.

But the chance for him to do that had already long passed.

Jinki realized that Jessica was nodding, and gesturing for him to follow her.

***

Jessica led him to the outside, where smokers escaped to for their smoke break. A couple of people were leaning against the stretch of white-washed wall smoking, but they took no notice of them both.

Jinki opened his mouth to speak.

“H-how have you been?” His lips formed the words painfully; his mouth was as dry as sand.

“Alright,” Jessica replied tersely.

“I’m sorry,” Jinki found himself blurting the words that have been ringing in his head since the day the parted ways. “For everything…”

“Did you ever pick it up?”

Jessica’s question caught him off guard, mostly because he didn’t know what she was referring to.

“Pick… it up?”

“The photo frame you threw… and the photo in it,” She looked away.

She laughed, but it wasn’t the one he was used to hearing.

“Stupid question. Of course not…” She turned and looked him in the eyes. Jinki could never forget how lovely they were, so bright and so full of emotion.

“Because I did.” Jinki noticed her eyes sparkled as she said it, but it wasn’t right. It sparkled from unshed tears that glistened and made her gaze shiny.

“I liked it very much, you know… it was my favourite one of us.” With a heavy heart, Jinki realized what she was talking about – the thing he had thrown at the door was a photo frame, containing the photo of them smiling with home-made oatmeal masks on their faces.

He’d liked that photo a lot, too.

“Look, Si-Sica…” (It was presumptuous to call her that after all that happened, but Jinki couldn’t help himself)

“I’m sorry I left- the way I did,” Jessica looked away again as he continued.

She was sobbing on the floor holding her injured hand and Jinki felt shattered glass crunch beneath his feet as he stomped out-

“-I’m sorry, for hurting you,” With that, he reached forward and hugged her tight, the same way he first did so. He could smell her shampoo and feel the small of her back, and everything was so same and yet, so different…

Jinki felt her relax a little in his embrace. Just then, there was a tinkling sound. Jessica broke away from him and glanced at her phone.

“I’ve got to go,” She looked up at him. “But Jinki?”

His heart pounded. “Yeah?”

“It’ll be nice if we could catch up again… I’m sure your past year has been eventful.” She smiled, a little wanly, then turned around, disappearing as the door shut behind her.

Blinking, Jinki realized what was different about her. A year ago she’d been this young girl he had to take of, a vulnerable child. Now, she seemed to have matured. She had grown up, and as he was suddenly aware of, so had he.

Jinki smiled to himself. A second chance, and he wasn’t going to mess it up again.

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And that's the end everyone! I hope it was alright, even though it was rushed. :O

I really was sad when I watched their Christmas perf, which inspired me to write this (is that a good or bad thing, lol).

As usual, comment please! I want to improve and also know what you think of this. :) Many many many love!