I kept a straight expression on my face the best I could. I pinched myself, checked my breath, heart rate, and then pinched myself again. So I'm still not dreaming.

        I was currently sitting down at one of the places BTS were going to film their MIC DROP MV. I knew that went Namjoon said if they could make it up to me a few weeks ago, they weren't going to drop all of their stuff at once but I still wished it kind of happened.

        Instead, I got special access to watch them dance and hang out with them for a little while. I'd still take that any day. I watched as they started to film Jungkook's and Taehyung's part. Yoongi and Hoseok had come up to me. 

        "Hi (Y/N)!" Hoseok said happily, grabbing a bottom water from the table. I smiled and waved. Yoongi sort of glanced at me with kind eyes before taking a water bottle as well.

        "You guys did great!" I exclaimed, not trying to sound so fake but it was hard when my voice gets a little high when I'm excited or nervous.

        "Thanks," Yoongi murmured, continuing to drink his water. My attention drifted away from the two boys in front of me and I watched the younger ones dance. As they finished up I met eyes with Jungkook who darted his eyes away from me. I chuckled quietly. Internation Playboy, I thought as a stupid grin was on my face.

        "She's scaring me.." I heard someone whisper. I whipped my head up and looked at Yoongi, my grin fading as it turned into a pout. 

        Hoseok laughed and poked my left cheek. "Ah, so adorable!" he gushed before walking away to leaving me a blushing mess. 

        "Come on. We're going to the next filming sight," Yoongi informed me as everyone was packing away their equipment. I nodded and followed him outside to the vehicle. Everyone was already in there, talking and laughing. I sat down in the front seat, as they had insisted I had to sit there.

        I looked out the window as the car started to move. I felt weird, out of place. I didn't belong here or anywhere near them, but I should be thankful they wanted to make it up to me. (Although they did nothing wrong.)

        In a few minutes, the car stopped as we arrived. There were people scrambling about, putting put chairs, cameras and what not. "Crap," I whispered. I forgot a jacket. I sighed deeply as I open the door. It wasn't terribly cold but, of course, I get cold easily. Just my diddy darn luck.

        The wind nipped at my bare arms as I had crossed them, believing it would make the situation better. A huge warmth suddenly covered my back and my arms. I flinched unsure of what it or who was. I look at my arms to see a familiar jacket. I turn to its owner who only gave me their famous dimple smile.

        I quickly took it off. "I really don't need to wear this," I rushed as I tripped over words. He pushed it back to me.

        "I insist. Plus, we still need everything to be set up." I nodded a little and put on the jacket that looked too big on me.

        "Thanks, Namjoon." The boys were pulled somewhere to get their make-up touched up. I looked around and one of the staff pointed me to a chair. I thanked them and sat down, looking around. 

        Feeling a buzz in my pocket, I took out my phone. It was my mother.

Hey. How’s it going? Is everything fine?

        I frowned a little. I didn’t want her to stress out. I mean she could be calm at some times but at certain times, she could stress out so much she wouldn’t sleep for days. I didn’t need that again. 

I'm fine. Everything’s  fine. Stop worrying okay?

        I texted back. I put my phone away and looked up. Wow, they move fast, I thought as I saw everything already set up. 

        Namjoon came up to me and I practically threw the jacket off my skin, placing it in his arms. He thanked me and gave me another jacket.

        ”Just use this one. You could keep it, by the way. I don’t need it.” I blinked confused and as I was going to protest, he jogged away to the other members. What’s the point? He’s just a nice as he’s known to be.

        I wrapped the less thick jacket around me as a voice shouted, “Action!” The music started to play and they started dancing. To be completely honest, I, including all ARMYs were excited about this MV, so it was hard to sit still without yelling,

”Yes, Jin!”

”Beautiful Jungkook!”

”J-Do~pee~!”

        I clapped once they finished, although that wasn't the end. They were going to do a real live explosion. I mean come on, how much cooler can these guys get? I took out my phone and checked my messages. "You're not telling anyone, right?" I looked up to see Taehyung, glancing at my phone.

        I laughed. "Ha. No way. I have no friends to tell anyway." I smiled at him and the worry on his face faded but his frown didn't.

        "Whatta mean?" I shooed him off.

        "Ah, it's nothing to worry about. I just don't go out too much, that's all." Taehyung didn't seem satisfied with my answer but gave me a simple nod. 

        He was called back by the director who was already talking to the rest of the group. He gave me his famous boxed smile with a wave before jogging over. I let out a small sigh. Just keep to myself, I reminded.

 

 

 

 

        "Here." I bowed down a little took the small cone from Taehyung's larger hands. I slowly the ice cream on top, feeling eyes watching me. I looked up nervously at the seven boys. They were watching me like I was the most interesting show on the entire planet.

        "Is there any game you want to play in particular?" Jin asked. I looked around. 

        The boys had asked their producer if they were allowed to hang out with me somewhere other then the filming set before I had to go and never see them again. Being nice, he said yes (probably because he also felt bad) and they rented out an entire arcade for two hours. 

        A certain machine caught my eye. And it seemed they noticed too because I heard, "You like to sing?" I shook my head at Jungkook's question.

        "Um, well, not really. I mean I do but not in front of people..." I rambled, feeling a little embarrassed. They perked up.

        "Can we hear you sing? Please?" Jimin pleased. I was about to protest but they all started moving toward it, Hoseok pulling me along. I froze as they gave me the mic and continued eating their own ice cream, waiting for me to choose a song. 

        "I am not getting out of this, am I?" I asked to no one imparticular. Yoongi smirked. "With them, no." 

        I sighed as I scrolled through songs. There only seemed to be recent popular songs that also included their own. I eventually chose LOVE SCENARIO by iKON*. It was a song I learned in my expanded free time.

        I started to sing pretty quietly and shyly but soon, the song had trapped me and I sang like how I sang at home. Like no way around and I was the only person that needed to make a spectacular performance, at the least. Once I sang the last line and the beat ended I heard silence. I pried open my eyes that I never knew I closed. 

        I looked at them and they seemed in shock. I hid my face and placed the mic back in its handle. "Gosh, that must have been terrible.." I whispered. 

        "What the hell (Y/N)!" I jumped, somewhat startled at the soft voice. "Why'd you act like you couldn't sing?! That was freaking unbelievable!" The others nodded at Jin's statement. I shrugged. 

        "I just don't think I'm good at things. I at life and I'm not normal either," I said finishing up my ice cream.

        "What's that suppose to mean." I flinched. I just did want I didn't want to do. Open up. They are going to keep on bugging me until they know and I didn't want them to know. It would just contain more pity. 

        "I just have panic disorder. It's not a big deal. It's who I am. I've learned to deal with it." I bit into the cone, forced to listen to this unbearable silence. 

        "(Y/N). A diagnosis doesn't define you for who you are. It's what makes you different, uni-"

        "And what if I don't what to be different!" I shouted, cutting Namjoon off with tears threatening to fall. "What if I wanted to be normal! But because of this, I'm here with you guys when I don't even deserve it. It's just you feeling sorry for me! God, I really don't get it. I'm just me!" 

        "And because of you, you are here! You do deserve it (Y/N)! Hell, not everyone can be as strong as you've been so stop treating yourself like and be happy!" Yoongi shouted back at me. I broke into a fit of tears. His words were powerful.

        I felt a pair of arms wrapped around my frame and soon, it warmed me up. New pairs started to hug me as well. I looked up to see everyone hugging me. "(Y/N). Don't be hard on yourself. You're perfect just the way you are. Little things like a diagnose shouldn't affect you," Hoseok's voice said, calming me and stopping the flow of my tears.

        We soon started to play games, almost pretending like I didn't have a small episode. Hours flew by fast as I had to leave. They offered me a ride home since my mom was still on her shift at work. That trip consisted of singing that was off key. I laughed and listened to them chat around.

        Moments later, I opened the door and stepped out into the cool night. "Thank you guys," I said closing the door and facing them through the open window. They smiled and nodded.

        "Bye (Y/N)! We hope to see you again soon!" The car drove off and I watched them until they turned off my street.

        I made my way inside the house and pulled out my phone that brought back the memories. I held the device and something wasn't right. I turned it around and noticed there was a bulging spot in the back of my phone case. Removing it, I saw a small folded piece of crumpled paper.

        I held onto that note for a long time, sticking it to my bedroom wall. That note was what kept me going every day after that amazing incident. 

 

Dear (Y/N),

        We haven't met anyone like you. We know that it would be fate if we ever met up again but never forget that you are one of a kind. One little imperfection doesn't tell you who you are and what your future is going to be like. Please have more confidence in your self because, yes, you are just you but you are so much more.  And as all of us as a group believe so.

~Kim Namjoon and the rest of BTS

 

 

 

 

*If you didn’t already, I highly recommend that you listen to Love Scenario. It’s a really good song that all K-poppers and people who have a variety of music would probably enjoy