Ch.9 - Beautiful Pain.

 

*No Saida ahead, sorry. It’s needed in the plot. For the most part, ChaeYu is the highlight of this chapter.

 

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“All that you wanted, and all that you needed was a side of me I never let you see; and I wish I could love you and make you believe it because that’s all you ever wanted from me.”

 

“It would be wrong of me to stay. // I can’t stop crying; I hate that I’ve caused you pain.”

 

“There’s a danger in loving somebody too much, and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust. There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are, because sometimes, love just ain’t enough.”

 

-

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Sana doesn’t know if she had messed up.

 

She isn’t certain, but judging by Dahyun’s avoidance since their kiss, she can almost guarantee that she is correct.

 

It would be a lie to say that Sana isn’t hurting by the blatant hiding because she is; a little more than she would like to admit.

 

It has been four whole days since their intimacy and not a single word from Dahyun. None. Not a ‘hi’, or a simple ‘hey, Sana-Chan’, or even a stupid ‘I did not like the kiss’ – nothing.

 

She is left hanging and it is starting to drive her into madness. The Japanese girl is one to always solve her problem as soon as she could, confronting issues that stand in the way but not right now. Not without Dahyun around. She even bothered asking around, and one sophomore who happened to be Dahyun’s dormitory neighbour had informed Sana that Dahyun had left the night prior carrying a lone suitcase.

 

Was it the kiss? Was it something she did?

 

What was it?

 

Surely it is not because of the kiss, right? It cannot be. Sana is a great kisser; Dahyun had kissed her back – he did. The tightened grip of his hold on her waist definitely meant something. He likes her back, Sana is pretty sure. What else would it be? He did not pull back, nor did he push her away.

 

No, none of that.

 

Dahyun stayed – which might have been one of the many mistakes committed.

 

Sana even approached Mina about the subject, which the younger responded with a worried look – somewhat secretive but the Junior student doesn’t have enough time to analyze deeper.

 

The Japanese girl is desperate to find out what is going on with Dahyun. Is that so bad?

 

“You’re wallowing in sadness... Haven’t seen that a while.” Jeongyeon gives a light chuckle, taking a seat on the opposite couch with a bowl of cereal in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other.

 

Sana watches in a mixture of bitterness and amusement as the slightly older girl turns on the television, catching up on the latest episodes of her favourite show – The Crown; crossing her legs comfortably and everything.

 

“Nice of you to eat our food yet again.” She says sarcastically.

 

The short-haired girl looks away from the big screen to focus her attention on her sulking friend. “I know right? We ran out and Nabongs is busy.”

 

“That’s always your excuse.” The foreigner rolls her eyes without real malice.

 

Jeongyeon lifts a shrug, momentarily glancing at the show that is currently playing. She takes a quick munch on her breakfast. “Not an excuse if it’s true.”

 

“For someone who is eating food that Jihyo and I paid for, you sure got a lot of attitude.” The slightly younger girl rolls her eyes.

 

Short-haired History major keeps her eyes on the dramatic scene on tv. “Could’ve been worse. I could have been Momo.”

 

Sana finally chuckles sincerely, for what she thinks is the first time in days.

 

“Can’t argue with that one.”

 

The Japanese girl joins the distraction by watching the show that is currently playing. She is quite familiar with the Netflix-original series but not enough to be considered a fan, only ever watching the episodes when Jeongyeon or Jihyo are around.

 

She giggles at the amusing look on Jeongyeon’s face as she focuses her utmost attention to the smart screen.

 

“What?” She looks away from the scene, hearing the familiar snort beside her.

 

“You are such a nerd. History books aren’t enough for you? You just have to watch history-based shows too?” Sana mocks light-heartedly.

 

“This is different. The Crown is based off of the Western monarchy. Our King and Queen here in Korea is both a tad more simple, yet complicated than the English royalty.” Jeongyeon educates, slurping some of the milk in her bowl.

 

“Which do you like learning more about?” The foreign girl asks in innocent curiosity.

 

Lips purse in contemplation, the episode left unattended. “I don’t know nearly as much information about the European History as I do with Korea’s past. Both are very interesting– I can’t really choose.”

 

Sana realizes that she doesn’t really know much about Korea’s history. She had moved years back with Mina and Momo but her knowledge about the country had only increased minimally. Everytime Jeongyeon talks about the current events, or anything of the sort, she really only remembers tuning them out.

 

But what’s a little more trivial information, right?

 

“I only really know Prince Taehyung, but that’s only because he’s quite the looker.” The long-haired girl pictures His Highness in mind; very elegant and visually-appealing.

 

He also looks a lot like Dahyun.

 

Great; Sana is supposed to distract her thoughts away from the younger but here she is, back to the starting line.

 

“There’s Princess Dahyun as well. She avoids media publication often – understandable, since His Highness is the next one in the line of throne and she isn’t needed as much. A shame really, it is said that she is quite the sweetheart.” Jeongyeon informs.

 

Sana tries to recall ever seeing The Princess on television or any textbook, though she can’t say she remembers.

 

“I guess she would be really pretty. I mean, Prince Taehyung is dashing.”

 

The older nods quickly. “She is! Very pretty, actually. I don’t really know how to describe it. Remarkably pale, with the sharpest eyes. She’s got a very distinct face, kind of like–” Jeongyeon tries to think of anyone who resembles Her Highness when suddenly, something clicks in her mind; like a lightbulb of enlightenment. “Oh my God, that’s who he looks like!”

 

Sana’s brows scrunches in confusion. “Who – What looks like?”

 

“Your man, Dahyun. I’ve been thinking that he resembles someone I know, and it’s the Princess!” The History major gasps as if she had just discovered the Lost City of Atlantis. “He looks like Her Highness!”

 

“But he looks like Prince Taehyung?” Sana mumbles in confusion. She doesn’t know much about the Kim Royalty but she knows that Dahyun looks like the Crown Prince.

 

“No, trust me. He really does look like Princess Dahyun.” Jeongyeon nods profusely, very certain of her new found discovery. “Do all Dahyuns look alike?”

 

Sana swiftly grabs her phone to search the Majesties’ only daughter.

 

She could feel the oxygen in her lungs being dry by the Princess’ beauty. Her Highness is smiling in most pictures and she truly does look like the freshman who had stolen all of her attention for the past months.

 

She scrolls again and again, familiarizing herself with the ethereal Princess, Dahyun Kim. It is an incredible coincidence.

 

Sana finds herself staring at pictures after another, relishing the unique visuals of the Queen-to-be.

 

The Japanese girl cannot help but wonder how many Dahyun Kims there are in existence, and just how gorgeous they all are.

 

Straight as she identifies to be, Sana thinks that if she were to spot the Princess anywhere, her heart would pound in starstruck all the same.

 

It could be just a very specific type – a mad preference, but Sana sure seems to be into Dahyun Kims whose sharp eyes tend to shimmer bright as a star, and smile blinding like the morning rays.

 

Whether it’s the cosmos’ doings, or perhaps God – Sana doesn’t bother looking deeper.

 

‘It is what it is.’ She believes. ‘Such a crush is inevitable considering how cute they both are.’

 

Sana thinks that she had gone mad.

 

Why is she crushing on everything and anyone that reminds her of Dahyun?

 

Is she missing Dahyun that badly?

 

-

 

Just as her Mother had said, Chauffeur Wang did arrive in a few hours’ time. He politely opened the passenger door for Dahyun who refused to seat behind.

 

Settling the luggage in the trunk and their safety belt both buckled, he begins to drive away.

 

“Jackson?” Dahyun calls, a little pass an hour into their destination.

 

“Yes, Your Highness?”

 

“Drop the formalities, please.” She kindly orders. “May I ask you a personal question?”

 

Dahyun watches his eyebrows furrow in curiosity. He stretches a tender smile nonetheless. “Of course. I would be happy to answer.”

 

“Have you ever – by any chance – experienced any form of romantic attachments before? Or had committed to one?”

 

The question is surprising in itself coming from the Royal Highness, but the genuine curiosity and strong sense of hunger for an answer is what truly takes the Chinese boy, aback.

 

“Why, of course. I have fallen for a kind maiden a few years ago. ‘Young love’ as most would call the affair.” He says, slowing down for traffic.

 

“Was your affection returned?”

 

Jackson is unaware of the reason behind the sudden thought but he speculates that Dahyun is going through a love crisis. Such a shame really, because he knows how tough romantic commitment could be, under the scrutinizing system of the Royal house.

 

“Yes, I assume so.” He barks a gentle laugh. “She has accepted my confession and we did manage to love one another for three years. We are still in cordial terms despite the separation.”

 

“Why did you part?” Another question flows readily.

 

“Unseen complications.” He puts simply. “We were too young to handle the troublesome circumstances.”

 

“Do you… regret the separation?” Dahyun’s voice is full of caution, careful not to hit a sensitive nerve.

 

“If you are wondering if I long for her, then yes. Although in my personal opinion, there is no other outcome to the situation, Dahyun.” The latter sees a wistful smile on his lips. “We are meant to grow apart.”

 

“Apart…” Dahyun mumbles to herself, keeping quiet for the rest of the journey. She eventually falls exhausted, and into a deep slumber with the heavy situation in mind.

 

-

 

Dahyun has a habit that had been developed since childhood; every single time that she is under the heavy burden of stress – her anxiety going on overdrive, the young Princess locks herself in her chamber; away from Taehyung, the Palace helpers, and her own parents.

 

Unhealthy as it may be, she thinks.

 

She thinks and thinks to the exhausting point of a mental, or physical breakdown. Dahyun is raised to be a harsh critique but unfortunately, the trait seems to affect herself the most.

 

Growing up, it has been her burdensome social title that drove her to madness. The surreal expectations, responsibilities, and the suffocating pressure of being good enough – to the unrecognizable crowd and to herself. Dahyun has never worried about the feeling of love, the concept itself was almost impossible to squeeze into her tight schedule.

 

Now here she is, with mind boggled even more than she could remember ever being in the past.

 

Even if she were given the chance to rewind the ticking clock, Dahyun does not know if she will change any event that had happened.

 

Sana; Dahyun cannot seem to evaporate from the Princess’ mind – not that she remembers ever trying.

 

She likes a few things about the girl. Well, perhaps a little more than just a ‘few’. Dahyun wants to say that she could count the desirable traits with her two hands, but she knows that she would be lying.

 

The crown heiress likes Sana a lot; so much.

 

So passionately in fact, that here she was, stuck back home because she could not keep her feelings at bay.

 

The grande kiss.

 

Oh dear God, that kiss.

 

So sinful, yet insanely refreshing.

 

As if it were able to quench the thirst that Dahyun weren’t even aware to have been suffering from. It truly was a feeling that the Princess cannot describe if she were to search through the hundreds and thousands of books located in the Palace library.

 

Dahyun cannot ever forget such pair of lips.

 

The lips that costed her the freedom that she had been begging for as a child.

 

She should have known that her Mother lurked somewhere within. Even when she is not physically present, Her Majesty had eyes all around.

 

Of course Dahyun is curious as to who the mole could be, the person that had sold her out; her personal life with Sana. Student Dahyun’s life.

 

She has yet to talk to her Mother about the issue at hand, but she believes that such problem can wait. Dahyun is not ready to face the Queen’s wrath. Her voice had been chilly over the phone; strict and without mercy.

 

The short haired Princess did not just break one rule, but several. Their given agreement of keeping a low, anti-social profile; Dahyun’s precious name and title on the line, and worst of all, her uality – the topic that Dahyun never ever wanted to discuss.

 

She knew that one way or another, such a secret would eventually unravel but due to her careless acts, it had happened sooner.

 

Lost in her own world, Dahyun doesn’t notice the light pounding on the heavy door. A muffled voice squeezes through the tiny crack in between wood. Incomprehensible as it is, she already knows who the culprit is.

 

“I do not have the energy to engage in your foolish games, Taehyung.” She gives a strained yell.

 

Unable to understand to sentence, he opens the door to poke a head inside, before walking in and closing the door shut. Dahyun doesn’t spare a glance. She remains unmoving on her large mattress, an opened luggage left unattended at the foot of her piano. The messy carrier sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of the organized room.

 

“I was not informed that you were arriving home.” He speaks softly, aware of the sensitive atmosphere that surrounds.

 

Dahyun coughs an empty laugh. “A spontaneous decision, really.”

 

“Your own?” Taehyung takes a seat on Dahyun’s swivel chair.

 

She gives a lazy shake of the head, a tiny smile curling at the right corner of her lips. “Not quite.”

 

“Then whose?”

 

“Mother’s.” Dahyun answers simply.

 

His brows furrowed in curiousity. “Has she given you the reason for the sudden call?”

 

The Princess turns a head to catch a look at her brother’s current expression. “My, my. Aren’t you just a curious lad today.”

 

Seeing the blatant avoidance to his question, Taehyung grows serious. “What happened, Dahyun?”

 

“Why do you assume that it could be something serious?”

 

“Because I know Mother, Dahyun. I have experienced her cruel plans before. You can trust me. What has she done this time around?” The assertive tone in his voice gives Dahyun an imagine of Taehyung as a future king. She knows that he would be a responsible and reliable leader.

 

“None yet. She has not called me for a private talk yet.” Dahyun chuckles; a hollow, nervous laugh. “She found out about Sana…”

 

Taehyung visibly grows stiff at the information. “What do you mean by that?”

 

“Mother sent a spy, Tae.” She says, using his nickname for the first time in a while. “And they… caught our kiss…”

 

“Kiss? What kiss?”

 

“Sana… she kissed me. She whispered ‘why can’t I resist you?’ before leaning in and kissing me.” Dahyun’s cheeks warm into a pink tint, the memory replaying vividly in her mind. “On the lips, Taehyung. She actually kissed me.”

 

The Prince gives a blank stare for a few seconds, merely processing the given details while studying the look on his sister’s face.

 

“I am assuming that now would be an inappropriate time to congratulate you?” He cracks a teasing smile, lifting the tense mood.

 

Taehyung receives a hit on the shoulder, followed by a genuine chuckle. “Now and anytime soon, thank you very much.”

 

“Is your maiden a good kisser?” He nudges on, finally relaxing at the sight of Dahyun’s smile.

 

“I am on the verge of becoming an orphan on the streets, you insensitive dolt.” The Princess moves her leg to kick her brother, laughing at his giggle.

 

His lips thin into a serious look. “I will protect you, Dahyun. You have my word.” His right hand lifts to reach for her pale cheek, a soft gaze pooling along his brown orbs. “Either Sana becomes your Princess, or this Palace crumbles down. I would not let our parents dictate your happiness, Dahyun.”

 

“You cannot just say that. You are the future King for goodness’ sake!”

 

“My point exactly, little sister. The future of this Palace is in the palm of my hands; they cannot destroy you if they tried.”

 

Dahyun is in the verge of crying when she blurts a question that has been bugging her since she left the University. Her voice cracks as she asks, “What about Sana? What is Mother going to do? Taehyung I am terrified… She has done nothing wrong.”

 

“I will secure her safety, I swear to you. Nothing will happen to her, Dahyun. We will take care of this, alright?”

 

For the first time in what feels like eternity, Dahyun jumps into Taehyung’s arms, hugging him like her life depended on it.

 

She cries.

 

Sana will be okay. She will be safe.

 

Dahyun will make sure that she remains unharmed; she will protect her.

 

She swears.

 

Even through the distance,

 

She makes a silent promise.

 

-

 

The inevitable strikes and Dahyun falls ill from her reckless act of lounging under the harsh wrath of Mother Nature.

 

Who knew that recklessly walking under the heavy rain could lead to such a physical consequence? Everyone, but Dahyun doesn’t pay any mind, for it is a price to pay.

 

“You have fallen sick, Dahyun. Have you been eating well?” Chaeyoung asks, eyes fixated on the weak figure sprawled pathetically under the thick covers. “Did anything happen? Your illness had struck suddenly.”

 

Dahyun has requested her young companion to travel to the Kims’ Palace due to her own boredom. Yeri too, rushed back as well.

 

“No,” The Princess slips a harmless lie, unwilling to involve anyone else in her predicament. She forces a throaty cough saying, “I am simply not immune to diseases as any other human being is, Chaeyoung.”

 

“Tzuyu is worried as well. She will be arriving as soon as possible.”

 

Dahyun’s throat burns at the heavy cough that erupts.

 

“You are acting as if I am terribly bedridden.” She gives an unenergetic smile. “I am perfectly capable.”

 

The younger simply flashes a concerned look. “Until Doctor Choi confirms your health, I will remain on guard.”

 

“Please do not tell me that you lurked around the empty streets during the heavy thunderstorm that passed? Because I do not want to be associated with an idiot.” Yeri comments, her tone flat and uninterested.

 

Growing red from shame, Dahyun turns her head away from the two. “I am not five.”

 

The younger royalty lifts a lazy shrug. “It was a reasonable guess. Your temperature is quite worrisome.”

 

“Her Majesty ordered Yeri and I to inform her if you have recovered. She has been meaning to talk to you. She came by to visit shortly before you awoke from slumber.” Chaeyoung says.

 

“Did she mention the reason for the sudden need to converse privately?” The feverish Princess shuts her eyelids, already exhausted from the thought of having to face her mother’s possible wrath.

 

Yeri answers for her best friend, “No, she simply told us to notify you of her plans.”

 

“I see,” She gives a ti