So Cry On My Shoulder

I Love You (I Hate U)

Yoongi absent-mindedly fiddled with the volume knob on his monitor, it backwards and forwards, letting the music fade back and forth from silence to excruciatingly loud volumes through his headphones into his ears, He'd just received frantic messages from his best friend, Jimin, including pictures of various outfits and urgent captions interrogating him on which one would be best to wear for his date. Yoongi answered that the first outfit was the cutest, while secretly thinking of how every single one of those outfits would look beautiful on Jimin. He imagined how Jimin would look in those outfits as he scrolled through the pictures, feeling his throat constrict a tad as he remembered that Jimin was dressing up for another man. His boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. 

Jimin and Jungkook had been dating for a couple of months now, and while it didn't seem a long enough relationship to be serious, Jimin was sure smitten with "the love of his life, Jungkookie". Yoongi remembered hanging out with Jimin at Jimin's house, enjoying the company of his favourite person, when Jimin announced that he and Jungkook were seeing each other. Yoongi had pretended to be pleased with this, congratulating Jimin on his new relationship before excusing himself to the bathroom, where he stared at his own reflection and summoned all the strength he had to blink back any tear that dared to emerge from his coppery brown eyes. As he stared at his own reflection he came to one realisation: This is not the face of the man who Jimin is in love with. Nope, that title belonged to Jeon Jungkook, the school's 'Golden Boy', a.k.a. the boy who regularly got high grades in class whilst also having time to be invited to every party and lead the school's basketball team to victory every season. Of course Yoongi could never match up to that. 

Jimin was probably enjoying an expensive and romantic meal somewhere in the city with the boy he loved right now. Meanwhile, Yoongi grabbed one of his now-empty containers of Chinese food and wandered over to the other side of his room to drop it in the bin where he heard his doorbell ring. He let the greasy box fall into the bin and scratched at his head tiredly as he left his bedroom and walked downstairs to the front door. In the space it took him to walk downstairs, his doorbell rang twice more, making Yoongi groan in frustration before fishing his key from the drawer next to the door and groggily dragging his door open. 

And there he stood. In the same adorable oversized baby blue jumper that just skirted above the gorgeous thick thighs of his faded grey jeans, and the black combat boots that he could kick Yoongi in the face with and he'd say "Thank you, love". Jimin was of course dressed in the outfit that Yoongi had picked out for him, and he looked even more breathtaking wearing it in person than on Yoongi's chipped phone screen. 

But there was one detail in Jimin's look that was new, and did not feature in the photo that he sent Yoongi. His eyeliner, although minimal, was smudged enough to give him panda eyes, and his nose was a bruised red as if he'd been rubbing it a lot. 

Yoongi's best friend had evidently been crying a lot. 

But Yoongi did not ask why. Not just yet; he knew Jimin. He knew that when Jimin was upset, all he wanted was reassurance and cuddles and tactile comfort. The asking about what had put him in this state would have to wait for later. So, Yoongi pulled Jimin into a hug, and reached behind him to close the door. Jimin wrapped his arms around Yoongi's neck and sobbed onto his shoulder as Yoongi clumsily locked the door with one hand. 

"I... It's Jungkook-ah." Jimin's muffled voice surprised Yoongi. Normally when Jimin was upset, he hated talking about it. This mustn't have just been something upsetting; it must have made him angry, too. Or it was something so terrible that even he couldn't keep it bottled up. Plus, Yoongi noticed that Jimin had not referred to his boyfriend as "Kookie", his usual term of endearment. If it was Jungkook who made Jimin upset, Yoongi was going to kill him...

Yoongi gently shushed his best friend and steered him upstairs to his room, where he sat him on his bed next to him and cupped Jimin's face with one hand. 

"Okay Jiminie, if you're ready to talk about it go ahea-"

"I was meant to meet Jungkook at his house at 7 and then he'd drive me to the restaurant, but I got so bored and I missed him so I decided I'd surprise him by going to his house early so I went to his house and I heard..." he babbled, barely taking breaths in between any of his words. 

"Jimin slow down and breathe." Yoongi put his arm around his shaking friend. "Just talk when you're ready, okay?"

"I heard Jungkook . I didn't know what I thought, I just walked through to the lounge, and and I caught him, I caught him bent over the sofa with some other guy's in his and-"

"Oh God, that bastard was with another man?" Yoongi couldn't believe the words that were spilling out of Jimin's mouth. Imagine having someone as pure and beautiful as Jimin, and being so unsatisfied that you'd cheat on him...

"I... Yoongi it was so embarrassing, I just cried and yelled at him, I didn't know what to do..." Jimin panted, sounding so exhausted after retelling that story - he had barely breathed while telling it. 

"Jiminie, he's the one who got caught ing some other guy minutes before his date with his supposed boyfriend." Yoongi put his other arm around Jimin, pulling him in close and allowing Jimin to lean into him. "He's the one who should be embarrassed, not you."

"Well, he wasn't." Jimin said moodily, picking at loose strand of material in Yoongi's dark green sweater. "He just told me that I needed to calm down and stop crying. He looked tired of me. He sighed at me for crying, and said I needed to get over myself."

Yoongi tried to remain composed for his best friend, and keep him calm, but the thought of Jungkook saying such things to the most important person in Yoongi's life... it made him so angry. 

" 'You didn't actually think we were that exclusive, did you? I'm a big deal around school, I can have any guy or girl I want. You really thought I'd settle for one halfway decent-looking boy and stay faithful forever and ever? I like to keep my options open, so what?' That's what he said to me, Yoongi." Jimin's eyes were dry now. He wasn't even upset anymore, just tired. "I can still hear his tone of voice and see the look of disgust on his face." 

"Jiminie..." Yoongi sighed. "I can't believe he'd be so cruel to you.... He's an , you understand? You're an amazing person, and he's just an idiot for not realising it. Hell, idiot's not a strong enough word but I'm too angry to think of any words right now."

"Huh, it's a rare occasion when you're speechless." Jimin gave him a small grin, and rested his head on his shoulder. Yoongi chuckled. "Yoongi, can I sleep over tonight? I really need to be with someone tonight."

Jimin didn't need to ask twice. Yoongi texted his parents, who were out having a meal together, that Jimin would be staying over, and pulled out the mattress from under his bed. He topped it with the softest blankets he could find from his cupboards, and as many pillows as he thought would make Jimin comfortable (all of the pillows). He looked up at Jimin from his crouching position next to the mattress, and was worried to see his friend look... disappointed. 

"Um... I kinda don't wanna sleep on my own..." Jimin picked at his fingernails awkwardly. "I know you're not much of a hugger, but I thought maybe I could sleep in your bed with you? I just...  I wanna be held. Otherwise, I might feel all lonely, and-"

"It's okay, Jimin." Yoongie smiled sweetly. "My bed can squeeze the two of us in. And my parents will be okay with it - they know how long we've been friends, so... yeah."

A smile crept onto Jimin's face, and his eyes crinkled the adorable way they always did when something made him genuinely happy, in the way that melted Yoongi's heart. Jimin bounded over to Yoongi's bed and collapsed onto it, stretching and arching his back so that his blue sweater rode up his back and Yoongi could take a slight look at his smooth skin. Jimin yawned loudly, moving his head back to expose his neck. Yoongi felt guilty for looking at his best friend in such a way, but the sight of Jimin's exposed neck made him want to jump over there and litter it with kisses, reassuring him that he was way too good for Jungkook and deserved better. That was also why he wasn't much of a "hugger" with Jimin, and why he would have preferred sleeping in a separate bed to Jimin; being his friend without admitting his true feelings was hard enough, but lying next to him, feeling his breath on his skin and being that close despite having to force himself not to hold his hand, run his fingers through his soft, fluffy blonde hair and kiss his tears away... the thought made Yoongi's heart beat uncomfortably fast. 

After getting ready for bed, and reshuffling all the pillows onto the bed, Yoongi found himself curled up with his back to Jimin. At least not facing him would be less painful. But then he felt Jimin's arms around his waist, and heard Jimin's cute little hum as he snuggled up close to give him a backhug, and Yoongi felt his feelings overwhelm him. 

He loved Park Jimin. 

Yoongi's eyelids twitched a few times before he slowly came back into consciousness. He could hear something that had woken him up, but he wasn't sure what, or even what time it was. He turned over, and saw Jimin with his back to him. His shoulders were trembling, and he was curled up into the smallest ball. Those noises he heard were Jimin's soft little sniffles. 

"Jiminie..." Yoongi whispered, and Jimin hesitated a moment before rolling over to face Yoongi. It was still dark in Yoongi's bedroom, but Jimin was close enough that Yoongi could see that his face was red and damp with tears. 

"Jiminie, don't cry, I'm here, I'm here, okay?" Yoongi sat up slightly, and Jimin followed to lean into a tight hug. 

"I just cuh-couldn't sleep... that image of Juh-Jungkookie..." Jimin hiccuped into Yoongi's neck. 

Yoongi sighed. Jungkook had really broken his precious Jimin's heart. 

"Why'd he... why'd he do it, why'd he do it, Yoongi-hyung?" Jimin started getting worked up again. "I was so in love-"

"Jimin-ah, stop."Yoongi said firmly, and pushed Jimin away so he was at arm's length and he could look Jimin in the eyes. Or at least, he could make an attempt to as Jimin stared pitifully down at his crossed legs. "You deserve so much better, okay? Jungkook doesn't deserve your love. You deserve so much more love than he does, understand?"

Jimin shrugged. He couldn't even bring himself to agree. "I just keep thinking, I must have done something wrong that made him resort to cheating-"

"Jimin, please stop this." Yoongi interrupted again. "You did nothing wrong. He did. You're so amazing, Jiminie. He was just blind to that."

Jimin eventually tired himself out from all the crying, and slumped back onto Yoongi's bed. Yoongi pulled the blanket more comfortably onto Jimin's small body, and laid next to him with a sigh. His already wavering faith in humanity was crippled by the fact that someone as kind-hearted as Jimin could be hurt by some scumbag he thought he was in love with. 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
minshoga93 #1
Pls update. Huhuhu.
ashlie_kpop
#2
please update ^^ uwu
nhatthao #3
Hello, I'm PeaNuts and i'm a Vietnamese Fan-Fiction author. I want to ask for your permission on translating your story, "I Love You (I Hate U)" into Vietnamese. Is it possible? I will leave full credit and will try to translate as smooth as possible in order not to lose your characteristic. Thank you very much! Sorry for my typing mistakes:v

PeaNuts