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The sun replaced with the moon. Hours has passed by. I leaned my chin on my palm as I keep staring at the people walking at the outside of the cafe. Most of them are on a date. Holding hands, whispering sweet nothings, hugs and kisses everywhere, all that laughters and smiles..

 

I sighed. “None of them last long, you know ?” I said to myself as I keep stirring my hot coffee. I change my gaze toward my phone on the table, which been so silent for hours. Taking off the ring on my finger, I put them it on the phone and keep on staring at it.

 

“Kim Mingyu, where are we right now ? I am.. quiet confused” I said softly, to myself. Playing around with the ring before it fell on the floor. It make a sound that I hate. I try to picked it up until a hand pick it first. “Silly, you’re so careless as always”, said the deep voice.

 

“Wonwoo” I breath. He put my ring on the table and sit in front of me. “So, why the sudden call?” He ask, take my coffee and take a sip as if its his. “Just because. I can’t even call you now ?”

 

“No” He smirked, “I don’t mean it that way, Hani. Whats the matter ? It’s been awhile and the last time you ask me to come over like this was when you have a heart break over Mingyu’s girl back in high school-” I stared at him, trying to send the signal right to his head.

 

“Let me guess”, I said, “You understands now ?”

 

He turned silent before leaning close to me, “What did he do this time ?”

 

“Relax” I force a smile, put my point finger on his forehead and push him away. “Listen, Jeon Wonwoo. I could- almost feel it”

 

“Feel what ?”

 

“A break up”

 

“Break up. . . ?” He mumbled and I nod. I smiles weakly as I look at the coffee, “I could feel the distant between us these days, you know ? Its like.. we both know all along.. that none of us could make this work”

 

“Yah..” His voice sounds stern this time, “You’re saying you are going to break up with him ?”

 

“I don’t like how that sounds, Wonwoo”

 

“But that what exactly you’re trying to tell me, don’t you ? Hani, I didn’t let you go just to see both of you turned to be like this” He said seriously. “I know” I said, looking straight to his worried eyes, “That’s why I call you here. I always knew you could help”

 

He sighed, “I can do that but- not this time. I cant. You see ? This is about Mingyu and you. You should know this better on how to fix this”, He stated and I frowned. “But how..” I said in worried.

 

“Just talk to him. Faced him and fix this, alright ?”He put his hand on my shoulder and pat me gently. “I know you can do this. Mingyu probably is trying to fix this too”

 

“I’m not sure about that. He been ignoring me all day”

 

“There should be a reason. Trust me”

 

“What if none of this are going to work. I don’t want to lose him, Wonwoo” I said in concerned as he smiles weakly, “You know I always got your back, uhm ?” He said and I take a deep breath.

“I will try” I said as I take a glance at the time, “Its late. We should probably go home now”

 

“Sure, let’s go” He said and follow me from the back. In front of the cafe, I gives Wonwoo a thankful hug before bid him goodbye. He insist on walking me home but I said no, as I wanted to have my time alone. I guess I need time for myself.

 

I see him walk away before I turn to the other way. At the end of the road, I could see Mingyu standing there watching me. My heart skip a beat as I take my steps toward him. I didnt expect to see him at this time around.

 

“Mingyu-yah-” “You was with Wonwoo ?” He ask, making I frozed right there. “Yes.. I am..” I mumbled as he sounds strangely weird. I almost didn’t know this side of Mingyu anymore.

 

“Was it fun hugging man around?”, He said and I gasped ,“Mingyu, it was not what you think-”

 

“I should have known.. you have a crush on Wonwoo since long ago, didn’t you ? You been chasing after him. I could see it. I could sense it”

 

“You’re too much. I didn’t--”

 

“What else did you hide from me ?” He ask, “No, I didn’t hide anything from you !” I scream out of frustation. Why is he like this ? Why is he trying to blame me for everything ?

 

“Yeah ? I bet you fxcked around with him behind my back-” I slapped him right on his cheek and quickly regretting my action. I extend my hand, trying to cup his red cheek out of regret but I could never reach him,“How could you say that to me, Kim Mingyu..”

 

My hands trembling so hard as I started to cry silently in front of him. He put his hand on his cheek as he faced to the right side. He change his gaze to me and stared at me with that angry face that I scared of the most. I take a step to my back and cup my mouth, trying to stop crying.

 

“I didn’t meant it.. Im sorr-” “You’re sorry ?” He said sternly. “Sorry doesn’t explained everything, sweetheart”

 

“Then let me expla-” “I don’t want to hear it” He said, as he take of the necklace he been wearing. It was a gift I gave him for our second anniversary. He throw it right to the floor as he glare at me. Suddenly it feels so hard to breath.

 

“M-Mingyu..”

 

“Goodbye, sweetheart” My eyes widened toward his words. Is that.. is that a farewell ? “You don’t meant it..” I mumble as I take the necklace from the ground and try to chase after him but I lost him. He really left. He left. Kim Mingyu left me. He just bid a farewell. He left me. He did.

 

Is this the end of us.. ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A week passed.

 

Its already the weekend. I hug myself at the corner of my room-- staring into spaces. I never knew a heart break hurt this much. I learned how it feels like to faced a farewell. A break up. For the past six years, my everyday fills with him. It was always him.

 

I wake up and expecting to see him the first thing in the morning, and the very last thing before I went to sleep. Those good mornings and good nights-- is all gone. I feels so empty, way too empty. I almost forgot how to live my life without him.

 

I’m lost.

 

When will he come and saves me ?

 

“Are you really going to stay there for hours again?” I look up and see Wonwoo leaning on the door frame. I leaned my forehead on my arms, hiding my face from him and started to cry all over again. I hear he sighed as he placed himself next to me.

 

“He didn’t call you ever since ?” He ask softly and I shook my head,”Not even a message ?”

 

“No.. nothing” I said with my crack voice. “Ha.. so you love him this much, hm ?” He said, ”I could take you away from him whenever I want but seeing you like this.. I guess I have to gives up again”

 

“Have you heard anything from him ?” I said and he shrugged his shoulder, ”I do bumped onto him a few times but--”

 

“He’s ignoring you, isnt he ?”

 

He turned silent and I just knew, that I am right. “You don’t have to hide it. I have been expecting for this to happened” I mumbled and finally look up. The sun shines, blinding my eyes. The next thing I knew, Wonwoo already wipe my teary face with his handkerchief.

 

“Thank you..” I said as I blink my eyes, aware of his movement. “Look at how much your eyes bruised, silly. Stop crying for god sake”

 

“Do you think I want this ?” I said, standing up and sit on the bed instead. He follow my step and leaned on the bed, “Hey, why don’t you try and meet him for once” He said and I bit my lips. “I’m sure as hell he already hates me, Won”

 

“No, he’s Kim Mingyu. The last thing he’s gonna hate is you”

 

I turned to him, “Are you sure ?” I ask, hesitated as nervously play with my hands. “It’s either you want to save this relationship or break it off- it’s up to you.. but make sure it ended up good, Hani”

 

Suddenly, Mingyu’s angry face flashed in my face and I softly gasped. “No- I cant” I said, “Whyy ?”. He whined and I pouted, “He was too scary when he’s mad”

 

“Fine, I will be there with you” He said and I look at him in disbelief. “You promise ?” I held out a pinky promise and he interlaced them together. “But one condition, I will watch from afar-- and I will be there if anything happened- alright ? You two should solve this together. You know you don’t need me”

 

…”Alright” I said, unsure.

 

“Good girl” He ruffles my hair. “Then, get your phone and tell him”

 

“What should I say ?”

 

“Let’s meet up tonight, at the park by 9”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sit on the swing and slowly move it to the front and back, repeatly. My eyes stucked on the ground- wondering if he will come over. Mingyu never reply to the messages, so I didn’t put on any expectation for him to be here.

 

I take a glance on Wonwoo, who sitting all by himself inside of the small mart next to the park. He waved his hand toward me and I weakly smiles. I take a deep breath and stared at the ground again.

 

I’m scared. This is much more terrifying that I thought it would be. I can only hope all of this could end sooner or later. I close my eyes and out my hands together, take a deep breath over and over again to calm myself.

 

Until that one time when I hear someone sit on the swing next to me. I turned to that side and it’s like a slow motion, when I see him sitting there with two warm drinks in his hand. He handed to me one on his left hand and I take it, a bit unsure.

 

“Did you wait for a long time ?” He ask, and my breath hitched. His warm, deep voice that I missed. I have been desperately wanting to hear that voice again. That voice who usually cares for me.

 

“Quite a bit” I said, half whispering.

 

What should I do ? 

Suddenly my head turned blank, completely empty. “Do you mean it ?” I said, the only words that come out from my lips. I waited for his answer but all I get is total silent. I look at him, he just holding onto the warm drink dearly as he stared at it.

 

I stands up, and the swing makes an annoying sounds as it move back and forth- breaking the silent between us. I positioned myself in front of him and take a deep breath, “Say it properly and look at me” I said but he didn’t do anything, “Look into my eyes and say it, Mingyu” I said and he finally looks up to me. His eyes are all teary but his face tells me otherwise.

 

“Do you hate me that much ?” I said as I gritted my teeth, “You really want to end it between us, don’t you ?”

 

“I know. I know Kim Mingyu, that you have gotten bored of me” I said and finally tearing up. God, it hurts so much. “I can leave if that what you really want-” The words got all stucked in my throat as the tears keep coming out. “I will back off so you can live better. I will forget all of you.. all of our memories and you-.. Kim Mingyu.” I said, the words that I thought I will never said to him.

 

The only thing that I could say..

 

I look away as I can’t keep on looking at those eyes of him. I admit it, I love everything about him. Every inch of him. The last thing I couldn’t live without- is him. It was all lies. How am I supposed to forget you, my first love ?

 

“You were gonna be like this anyway..” I mumbled, “So why did you love me ?”

 

I take a step forward and cupped his face. A tear fell on his cheek, “You can keep this”, I said as I let go of him and put the drink on the ground- including the necklace that he threw on that night. In between the necklace is a ring- a ring which he gives me just a few weeks before all of this happened.
 

He proposed to me. He promised he will only cared and loved me.

 

..People changed, don’t they ?

 

“I loved you, Mingyu-ah. I really did” I mumbled to myself and I turned away. These steps feels too heavy. The silentness almost suffocates me.

Why can’t I listen to his voice for just one last time ?

 

I take a deep breath. Don’t lost it, Hani. You can do this. Go. Go far away from here. I said to myself until a strong grip pull me into a warm embrace on my back. My heart beating too fast that it hurts. I groaned for a bit due to the pain in my heart, “I can’t do this..”, His voice trembled so much, as he leaned on my shoulder. I feels his warm tears on shoulder and I just lost it.

 

I expected this to-- no. I want this to happen. I gotta admit it. “I want to keep you too, Hani. Don’t leave..” He said and my eyes fill with warm tears all over again. I put my hands on his before turning around to faced him. I extend my hands to his cheek and smiles, “I love you” He said as he caressed my hand which is on his cheek. He sounds like he really mean that words. As if he regret for whatever he have done before.

 

I’m so stupid.

 

I am so in love with you, Kim Mingyu. I should have just left and leaves you all alone right here.

 

Making you regret for everything you have done to me before, for all of the pain you gives me..-- but why am I still standing here ? Hoping everything will be just alright for the both of us.

 

He keep chanting  Im sorry Im sorry as if its a magic spells that could bring us to the way it used to be. "I love you too, Mingyu", I said before standing on my toes to reached for his height and wrapped my hands around his neck- hugging him so tight.

 

It hurts so much to hold onto you, but it will hurts even more to let you go.

 

I will just let my heart tortured if it meant to be like this.

 

“You can keep me all you want, Mingyu. I will stay” I said as he pull me closer to his embrace.

 

I hate myself for doing this, but I just cant let him go.

 

 

Not this time.

 

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xoxo hugs and kisses for my lovely readers :D