The dorm room creaked open as Son Seungwan walked into the room of her shared apartment with her childhood best friend Kang Seulgi. Heaving a sigh, Wendy plopped her backpack down on the floor by her door, before throwing a plastic bag full of unhealthy things from the convenience store on her bed, along with herself.

Joohyun had avoided her all day. Again. Each time Wendy had turned around to try to talk to her, she was either scurrying out of lecture hall or already gone. And it hurt. A lot.

Seungwan brought her knees up to her chest and pulled a can of beer out of the bag, popping the top off before taking a long drink. A well-deserved drink, Wendy thinks , as she lays her head on the bedframe hugging her knees closer to her body. She leaned her head onto her knees, eyes drooping shut after a draining day. She was tired. So, so, tired. Along with the multitude of other feelings that ran through her, such as confusion, hurt, and regret. However, above all this, love remained.

More specifically, love for Bae Joohyun.

She can't really trace back to when she fell for Joohyun. Maybe it was when she walked into her high school classroom during her first year back in Korea, after introducing herself as Son Seungwan for the first time in a while. The introduction was a bit awkward, as Wendy's Korean back then wasn't the best after years of speaking English as an exchange student in Canada and America. It could've been then-- her first encounter with her. The details were a bit blurry, but Wendy will always remember when she picked up the purple gel pen on the floor and handed it back to its owner, the most beautiful girl Wendy had ever seen even if back then Joohyun's pretty wide eyes were behind a pair of spectacles and her long, silky hair was put up into a ponytail. Throughout the years she has known her, Wendy has always jokingly stated that if you made the mistake of looking into Joohyun's eyes for too long you'd fall. Maybe that was her mistake (though Wendy would never ever call it a mistake). Or maybe it was the days that followed, which turned to weeks, that turned to years, and so on, when Wendy formally met Joohyun through Seulgi (who was in a different class that first year back) and truly got to know her. It could have possibly been the moment she first heard Joohyun laugh, loud and a slight cackle to it, that she fell. Or when she learned of Joohyun's peculiar affinity for Downy fabric softeners, or the numerous moments that came after.

The brown haired girl took another chug from the can before putting it down on her nighstand.

She may not know when she fell for Joohyun, but she does know it was why said girl was avoiding her in the first place. Because of these feelings, Wendy had kissed Joohyun. It was rather reckless of her, and anyone who knew Wendy well knew that she wasn't one to be impulsive. But the night was young, and there was just enough alchohol in her system from the college party Joy had dragged Seulgi, Irene, Yeri and her to, and Joohyun was so, so beautiful next to her and--

Another drink followed, and Wendy could feel her eyes stinging as she reminisced it all.

She was always cautious about doing anything that would cross this uncertain point with Joohyun. It's been said before that there's a fine line between friendship and love, and she doesn't want to lose Joohyun. Even if she had to bury her feelings for her, Wendy had told herself that it would be okay as long as Joohyun stayed by her side. Friend or girlfriend. Joohyun had never explicitly stated that she swung that way, so Wendy had always thought that it would be the former, and though it stung, she could deal. She would deal. 

But then that night happened, and after feeling Joohyun's lips on hers, even if it was for a brief second and mostly her kissing the raven-haired girl, she found that simply dealing with it suddenly got a thousand times harder. Especially when she felt a Joohyun return the kiss for just a moment, before suddenly breaking apart from Wendy and leaving hurriedly. Leaving a disoriented, and most of all, hurt, Wendy in her wake.

The can of beer was empty now, so Wendy crushed it up before pulling out another can out of the bag beside her and opened it up to continue. She stared blankly at the wall with each drink, her thoughts jumbled and her chest aching. Did she lose her already? Was that all to be left of them? With each thought that creeped up on her mind, silent tears flowed from Wendy's eyes. The process continued for 2 or 3 cans more (Wendy isn't sure) and by then the wetness on her cheeks had dried up, her noisy thoughts dissipating into whatever that came to mind at the moment. After fishing out a bag of Doritos from the plastic bag, she staggered over to her phone on the desk across the room and picked it up, taking it back to her bed. Wendy splayed herself out on the comforter, ripping open the bag of Doritos messily and shoveling some into while her still cheesy fingers slid across the phone's screen attempting to unlock it. After a couple of tries she met success, giggling at her failures before putting a playlist on shuffle. She stared at the screen afterwards, eyes narrowing in concentration trying to figure out what she wanted to do next.

"Hyunnie, Hyun, Hyunnie~~" an idea popped into her brain and she opened up her contacts, scrolling towards the L section and stopping when she reached a certain name.

Lovely Joohyun :DD

She tapped the contact and chose to text her, however, Wendy stopped short, not knowing what to say. A little voice in the back of her head had her doubt herself, but for only a millisecond before she decided to ignore it.

Screw it.

Joohyun stares at her reflection when she finishes up washing her face. Though she's been trying to sleep routinely, if anyone looked closer, they'd be able to see the eyebags forming under her eyes. They were a product of overworking and lack of sleep. Working on stuff for college kept her distracted, most of the time. But its when she's laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, that really gets her.

To elaborate, that's when the thoughts of Son Seungwan get her.

She falls asleep thinking of her, encouraging herself to talk to Seungwan tomorrow and stop ignoring her because its probably hurting the girl, and she needs to face her problems instead of avoiding her... but then she dreams. She dreams of the party, the beginning of this whole mess, and dreams that instead of running away she stays, kissing Seungwan back firmly without hesitation. Then she wakes up and is confused, scared, because she doesn't know what to think or do and she doesn't wanna mess this up, and oh god Seungwan probably hates her now, which leads back to her avoiding Seungwan, because her thoughts are a mess (yet again) each time she dreams of Seungwan's lips on hers.

Her phone dings when she turns off the faucet, and Joohyun freezes when she hears the weird bell noise, meaning a text message from the very person she's thinking about. Uncharacteristically, she quickly switches off the bathroom light before scurrying to grab her phone. Only then did she truly realize how odd it was to not be able to talk to Seungwan for this long of a period, the older girl being used to the younger's constant presence.

seungwan: stop ignorinh me plsd

Joohyun's fingers hovered over the screen for a while, not sure what to do. She had a feeling the younger girl was either tipsy or something because Wendy never typed with spelling errors. She was too much of a perfectionist for that. Another ding echoed as a second message appeared.

seungwan: joooooohyuuuuuunnnnnn

The second message only helped confirm her speculations, and though much of her wanted to reply that instant, she had to be rational. Opening up her phone, she opened up a conversation with Seulgi, typing quickly.

to seul: hey seul, can you check on your roommate for me? is she drunk? is she okay?

Afterwards, Joohyun waited, but not for long before a notification popped up.

seul: hella. what's up between you two? why are you avoiding wendy?

seul: i'm asking because she looks like she's been crying when i busted into her room

seul: and she's blasting troye sivan ballads so there's something wrong

Joohyun scanned over the messages, a pang of guilt and worry hitting her at Seulgi's replies. She barely sends out a quick reply of her own before another notification popped up, this time from Wendy.

to seul: i'll tell you tomorrow, just meet me at the cafe or something. please make sure she's alright

seungwan: so you'll trxt seul but not reoly???? ? WoWee

The message from Wendy just increases the guilt Joohyun feels, because she knows that her doing that probably hurt the younger girl even more. This was a mess. Joohyun heaves a sigh before finally pushing herself to stop being a coward and reply.

to seungwan: yes, seungwan?

It takes a minute but Wendy replies, complaining about being cold randomly before talking about the past few days between them in broken up messages, the younger girl spamming Joohyun. She physically aches when Seungwan asks her if it was she was a mistake for Joohyun, and she begins typing out a reply about how Wendy is never, and will never be a mistake, but then she hesitates and deletes it. Seungwan wasn't finished with the spam, instead ending it with a greasy pick up line that Joohyun would usually laugh because it was just like Seungwan to say that, if the situation wasn't so depressing. She decides to be rational once again, simply telling Seungwan that she's drunk and Joohyun's just been busy is all.

'Yeah, busy trying to avoid you and distract myself because I don't kno what to do about this' A part of Joohyun says to herself.

Wendy denies it, as anyone would, and all Joohyun replies to that is telling Seungwan to go to sleep because Thursdays are when she has an 8 AM class. However, Seungwan keeps it going, spamming her yet again. Joohyun takes a quick look at the time, realizing she's been talking for Seungwan for about 15 minutes (it is 12:30 AM now) and it's the most energized she's felt all week since she started avoiding the younger girl. It really was weird, not having Wendy there with her at the library as Joohyun finished her business reports, the girl usually sitting beside her reading her medical textbooks or dozing off. For the past week, instead of Wendy beside her, it was her business class project partner Park Bogum. Don't get Joohyun wrong, he was a nice guy, considered actually perfect by most, but the raven-haired  girl much preferred Wendy at her side instead. Seungwan must've saw them, as she comments on it, insisting that Bogum had a crush on Joohyun. The conversation mood suddenly changes again though as Seungwan sends her another message following the previous one about Bogum's crush on her.

seungwan: he has a HUGGEEEE crush on u btw lol
seungwan: like me!!! but im agirl soooo

It takes Joohyun a while to even respond to that, not knowing what to say and completely at loss for words. Her first impulse is to reply that no it's not because Wendy's a girl, Joohyun loves her, she does, but she doesn't want to mess it up but she doesn't know what else to say so she doesn't respond at all. Wendy texts back a few moments later, the mood of the conversation quickly changing once again.

you: ...
seungwan: oooh dots
seungwan: hoenestly idont care if he does tho I jist want to be like notmal again
seungwan: i wanna be ur best friend again hhaha

At that last message, Joohyun almost grabs her keys wanting to screw it all and go to Wendy herself, to tell her that she always will be, and dry up her tears and hug the younger girl until they both fall asleep cuddling like that one time in high school, but Joohyun knows it's not that simple. (Is it?)

you: you always have been.
you: don't ever doubt that.

It takes a while for Wendy to respond to this one compared to before, which only strengthens the urge Joohyun has to bust into Wendy's apartment. Wendy is either falling asleep or ignoring her now.

seungwan: YEAH BUT it's differnt now baeee
you: how?

Joohyun replies at lightning speed, focus solely on waiting for a reply. The reply comes later again, so Wendy is probably trying to leave her alone now. But Joohyun doesn't want Wendy to go.

seungwan: like, youll probably look at me Weird now
you: Wendy, we can talk about this face to face okay? You're drunk rn

Joohyun feels the younger girl already slipping away, returning to her shell. And she's right, as Wendy's reply comes 30 minutes later, when Joohyun is slumped over, snoozing away, falling asleep from exhaustion.

seungwan: well DuH
seungwan: i can nevr say this to your face

Wendy has had 2 more cans by 3 AM, the only thing keeping her going is the energy high and her hype music playlist blasting BANG BANG BANG by BigBang. But even then her eyes are drooping as she rolls around her bed wrapped up in the comforter. She really wants ice cream right now but is too lazy to go get it. Hopefully, Seulgi was still up talking to Joy or something. Opening her recent conversation up, Wendy hurriedly types in for Seulgi to bring her ice cream as the song changes to The Good Side by Troye Sivan, and suddenly its sad hours for the light-brown haired girl once again. Seungwan feels her eyes sting as the song plays, and she types in whatever comes to mind before passing out.

Joohyun's eyes snap open as the her 9:30 AM alarm blares throughout her room, and she groggily grabs her phone to shut it off. It takes her a moment to wake up, but when she does, she finally notices the spam of messages in her notifications. All from Seungwan. She reads the two from their previous conversation the night before, then moves on to the following spam of messages sent out sometime around 3 in the morning.

seungwan: SEULGIUI pls brifng ice cream it's sad hoursss

I lovvrr herrrr so muchd

she stopped reoplying

I think I lost her god imn a fcucking idioty

she's probaxbly wit h bogum from all se talk aboug him

WHRES MY ICE CREMA

uhhhhghh beidng gay is hard what a cliche

i dotn wannns do this anymore

Joohyun's breath momentarily leaves her when she reads the second message. Her resolve was made then and there--  that was it, she was done being a coward. She would face Wendy today, talk to her, about everything. Her pulse quickened  at the thought of talking to Wendy again. She just hoped she didn't mess things up too badly. A uneasy feeling tugs at her chest as she reads the last three messages, all sent this morning about an hour ago (of course, even if Wendy gets drunk she'd still be up to go to class.)

seungwan: . i'm sorry iene

i don't know why seul didn't stop me. just... ignore everything.

i'm sorry.

The uneasy feeling energized her, Joohyun slipping out of bed quickly after deciding what to do. She would talk to Wendy, walk up to her apartment and bust right in like she did before all this mess began, and corner her until they faced the problem head-on. No more tip-toeing around. Wendy would be back after finishing her morning classes at around 11:30, so Joohyun had enough time to get ready, leave and make brunch at Wendy's apartment for them like she usually did. She would fix this.

This will be split into 3 parts. If you'd like to read the text au, it is on my twitter here: https://twitter.com/rv_atlas/status/963236962554535936

Please review what you think, comment, support and all that. Thank you.