Author: here we goooo I’m in the mindset of Holland the precious angel narrating this! Enjoy! 

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“Go Taeseob! Get back here!” Me and Minhyuk ran for our lives from our bald headed tomato-faced home room teacher. We sprinkled salt into his coffee which apparently was the same thing his wife did to him that morning before he left for work. Okay it was poison but unfortunately he didn’t drink it. Eventfully, he drank ours and that’s why he’s mad like hell. 

 

We hid behind the vending machine near the canteen where I peek to see if Teachernim was still chasing us. He was out of breath as he muttered to himself and gave up on us. 

 

“That was an awesome prank!” Minhyuk yelled excitedly and we high-fived 

 

*freeze* 

 

Just to remind you all I’m at college not high school around this time so. 

 

I know I was childish then, well I still am a bit, but I’ve never ever played a prank on a teacher before because I never got the chance to. I always wanted to be the funny clown but no. 

 

*unfreeze* 

 

“He deserved it. On another day though.” I say as me and Minhyuk pick up our food from the canteen and sit down.

 

“What do you mean? Okay yes it was sad what happened to him in the morning but hey! We’re not trying to kill him!” Minhyuk grins, getting out his chopsticks to eat. “I can’t believe he actually drank it though and he tells us that our spacial awareness is crap.” 

 

I chuckle shaking my head as we start to slurp our noodles down. 

 

 

 

So you all are wondering who the hell Minhyuk is and why he is talking about spacial awareness. To be honest, I don’t even think he knows what thingy awareness is since he never listens to what teachers say anyway. 

 

Minhyuk is my best friend since mid high school and he’s always looked after me and has always been there for me during the tough times. Tough times? I’ve been through it during my childhood. 

 

In high school I got bullied a lot, all sorts of bullying you name it. Verbal. Physical. For me the worst is when they’re both combined. I still remember what I went through, having my head flushed down the toilet and being yelled at that I’m a ing gay . This happened everyday for as long as I could remember until I had enough. 

 

Although, this all started because of me the idiot. I told my closest friend at that time that I was gay thinking that I would be comforted and be told everything is fine. It doesn’t matter. At that time it did matter. IT DID. And I think it still does. So my friend gave me a hug and said it’s okay only to the find out that the next day he told everyone and I literally mean everyone. Around that time I was in grade 9 where everyone was getting the education lessons and diversity. The irony. I walked into school that day expecting everything to be normal, people wouldn’t look at me differently or see me differently even though they never spoken to me before. That all changed because when I stepped into the hall everyone burst out laughing and pointing at me. It never occurred to me during those few seconds of realisation that my friend told on me. That was the start of the verbal and physical abuse. 

 

Even the teachers eventually knew of me and I knew that they knew because they began to treat me like a slave. Not even a teachers pet. A slave. I didn’t want to rub our stupid teacher’s feet but they kept blackmailing me. This is may seem unbelievable to you but they actually did. They hissed at me saying that they would tell my parents about me which was supposed to be a secret. At the end of the day, I went to confront my friend however I got surrounded halfway by this gang of boys carrying bats as a weapon. At that point I nearly ted myself because I was so frightened. I shouldn’t have been though because that was an excuse for them to get even more mad and call me a coward. 

 

I was frightened until the leader of this gang came. He was taller than me, muscular and... handsome even though I knew I was about to get beaten the out of him. “So is it true gayseob? What everyone is saying? It is isn’t it?” He looked down on me patronisingly and walked closer to me. I grew angry and pushed him away from me, the crowd of boys exclaimed “ooo!” when I did that. 

 

“My name isn’t gayseob you ing—“ the crowd exclaimed louder until the muscular dude (I don’t know his name) shut them up. 

 

“Listen, you ing brat, I don’t care what your name is. You’re a ing gay loser. Who’d care about you? Nobody would. You’re not human.” 

 

I end up losing it by punching his face. There was blood everywhere dripping down from his nose and on my knuckles. He wiped the blood that was dripping from his mouth and smirked. “You’re dead. Gayseob. Get him!!!” 

 

I’m running. Sprinting eternally to get away from them. The crowd of boys are chasing me out the college. I run past the speeding cars lucky to not get hit by them. And I run into this alleyway where I realise before I can escape. They’ve surrounded me again. 

 

They hit me with their bats multiple times and the leader starts laughing and pulls out knife. I start to scream uncontrollably “no don’t please!!! Please don’t!! NOOO!!!” 

 

He strikes my leg not too deep. But I’m in pain, crying for help. Until somebody from the back door of a shop comes and they all run away. The guy doesn’t help me. Nobody does. I gather myself upright even though im I’m so much pain and start limping forwards. Whimpering still for help with tears streaming down my face. 

 

Another guy comes back out the same shop door to throw rubbish outside when he sees me struggling to walk and calls at me. “Hey! Hey!” I turn around and I see a teenage boy with styled black hair wearing a shopkeepers apron. He runs to me and his face is in serious shock when all my scars come into focus. 

 

“Oh my god! Are you alright?? No, that’s a stupid question! Oh okay, I’ll get bandaids don’t worry!! A-are you-u okay??” He was so shaken up by what he was seeing that it made me smile and soon he started to smile as well. 

 

“I’m fine.” I cough, he’s staring at my eyes at this point because they’re black. My legs have dry blood on it and my face too. 

 

“Come with me.” It wasn’t a choice is was an order because he takes my hand and slowly guides me to the shop because I’m in agony. 

 

He made me sit on this chair in the back of the shop whilst he went to get the first aid box out of a cupboard. He kneeled down in front of me and lifted my trousers up to see my scar where the tall guy slashed me. 

 

“Oh my god! How could they do this to you?” He asked with such shock that it made me smile again. 

 

“Do I make you smile?” He chuckled and wrapped the bandage around both of my knees. “Who are they?” 

 

“Who?” I asked, reluctantly.

 

“That gang that did this to you.” 

 

Grabbing to my trousers and scrunching them up anxiously, I replied “I-I don’t know..” then tears began to well up in my eyes till my vision became blurry. 

 

The boy looked up at me so I looked away to hide my tears. “Then.” He paused to wipe my eyes then continued smiling “why do you think they did this to you?” He pointed at my two bandaged knees which, at that time, were still be aching. 

 

I didn’t answer not because I didn’t want to but because I couldn’t. I don’t like to admit it but at that time I was so scared of what people think I couldn’t take it anymore. 

 

“You don’t have to answer. Okay?” He said reassuringly, whenever I heard his voice I smiled because he just had this charm that makes you want to smile no matter what situation you are in. 

 

He has that charm now.

 

When he was finished, he stood up to put the first aid box back. Instantaneously, I stood up hastily and took multiple gulps before I could get to say “t-th-thank you-u umm...” 

 

“I’m Minhyuk. You are?” 

 

“I’m Taeseob.” I smiled even though it hurt to smile “thank you Minhyuk.”  After, Minhyuk helped me out the shop where he offered to take me home but I refused. 

 

 

 

 

 

It was 4 in the afternoon and I was late for my archery club. I didn’t care. Instead I went home, trying to hide the scars on my face from my mother, and leapt onto my bed face down. Wanting to shut myself from the world and be in my own. 

 

Where nobody is judged. 

Where nobody is bullied.

Nobody is disrespected.

 

And where nobody had to go through what I went through, not just that day, but throughout my whole childhood. 

 

You can imagine yourself in another world but memories still haunt you. Ever since then tears were always drenching my pillow. 

 

 

 

It wasn’t the wounds that caused me pain after so much abuse over the weeks. It was the fact that they do this to me and still think to themselves that I’m not human. Like honestly, you think beating me up in the hallway leading to my maths class will amazingly enough turn me into “human” ??

 

Here’s a news flash for you haters.

 

I am human. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And as human, I grew to be emotionally unstable: 

 

 

 

• Mentally and physically traumatised. 

 

 

• Committing self-harm (as if the beating wasn’t enough) 

 

 

 

• Feeling worthless and unable to cope. 

 

 

.....

 

 

 

 

• Feeling Suicidal

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

 

• Attempting suicide. 

 

 

 

 

 

It scares Minhyuk right now about how much I laugh at that attempt. It’s not a laughing matter. Fact. 

 

 

Serious note: 

 

• never EVER in your life think about committing suicide. It isn’t worth it. It isn’t worth it. 
• Don’t tell someone else to commit suicide even if you mean it in a jokey way. 
• No matter what you do. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.
• Always be positive. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The only  positive thing on my mind was Minhyuk. I went to the newsagents he lived above and our friendship grew and what made me feel ecstatic, one day, was when he said he was transferring to my school. 

 

*at Minhyuk’s flat*

 

 

“My school?? You’re joking!” I nearly choked on my bulgogi we were eating together. His noona cooked it for us because she’s like a mother to both of us. 

 

“Why so shocked? We can become more closer now!” Minhyuk grinned and winked, making me retch too loudly that noona told me off. 

 

“Get lost.” I huffed “It’s just that I didn’t know you were that type of person that always gets kicked out of schools.” 

 

Minhyuk put down his chopsticks and pointed at me “A, I wasn’t excluded from my school, and B, I will get lost in your school so you gotta show me around.” He poured more soju into our glasses and we clinked them together, drinking them in one shot. 

 

Minhyuk protected me from the bullies (let’s just say they never came up to me in my life ever since) and he also taught me how to have a strong mindset by standing up for myself. 

 

Did I tell Minhyuk I was gay when I first met him? No he doesn’t know even right now I never told him *scoffs* 

 

Can you hint the sarcasm of course I told him! It’s a bit embarrassing but here’s what happened. 

 

 

So here’s the thing, Minhyuk has this weird sense of humour so when I told him I was gay he burst out laughing saying I know you’re happy. 

 

Get it. 

 

So then I rephrased it saying I like men instead and that’s when it clocked in his head. 

 

He gave me a huge hug and said the same words “it’s gonna be alright.” Bringing back the horrible memories, I pushed him away from me and ran away with the tears burning in my eyes. 

 

Minhyuk looked everywhere for me until he found me sitting by the dumpster outside the school. 

 

“I’m trash just like they all say I am, aren’t I?” I stared up at him, who was just looking around ignorantly. Becoming annoyed, I grabbed his arm and stood up. Hesitantly, he turned to look at me without saying a word. He’s one of those people who just look like they can’t feel any emotions cuz they can’t show it. Or choose not to show it. 

 

“Hey! I thought you were my friend?? Or are you just like others who just ing turn against me as soon as I tell them that I’m gay?? Minhyuk??” I shouted at him agitatedly. 

 

Unexpectedly, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the building’s walls. Minhyuk touched my face softly to calm me down but that didn’t work. “Taeseob.” He said gruffly, I stared into his eyes that were staring back at me fiercely. “Say it louder.” 

 

“Excuse me?” I say, perplexed. 

 

“You should be proud.” 

 

What the heck is he saying?? I thought, I think then it was safe to say he’s gone nuts.” 

 

“I-i.. of what??” He released his hands from my shoulders and stepped away. 

 

“Liking men. It’s extraordinary. I’ve always wanted to find someone like you! Oh my god!!” He squealed, jumping up and down bringing me closer to hug him. I was so stiff because I was so startled I couldn’t hug him back. What?? I was still thinking. 

 

“W-what? What??” I exclaimed, he let go and ruffled my hair with a big smile on his face. 

 

“I’m different to everyone aren’t I as well? I’ve got something to tell you Taeseob.” 

 

“What??” I say, repeatedly since  I’m still startled. 

 

“I’m huge supporter of the lgbt+ group in Korea!! And I’m so elated birthday you are now part of it too! It’s not wrong to be gay Taeseob, please remember that. I know how hard it is to be gay here.” Minhyuk squeezed me again and I begin to smile and hug him back. 

 

That’s my biggest supporter and best friend Minhyuk. It’s our anniversary since we became friends, 3 years! I’m so lucky to have someone like him. 

 

His job then was to either fight all the haters or was to try to help me find a suitable boyfriend and I always tell him to get lost whenever he points at good looking guys in the street because I didn’t need one. then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re probably wondering that Minhyuk is the weirdest person you’ve ever heard of then remember he’s also the sweetest. 

 

I wasn’t attracted to him in any way and haven’t been since. I feel like I can do better than Minhyuk **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Besides, there’s always been someone on my mind and I’ve always tried to be discreet whenever I see him. 

 

He’s an angel and always has been. 

 

I’ve always worshipped him like an idol in all its glory.

 

I’ve always wanted him to be my boyfriend.