Summary: when you and your best friend are secretely in love but he can't make himself to confess
Characters: Bobby & you
Words: 1,1K
Genre: fluff, best friend to almost lover, a pinch of angst in the end

You met Bobby on the worst day of your life back in kindergarten when you managed to destroy your favourite, colourful stocking and also lost your crimson ribbon while you were playing hide and seek. He saved your teddy bear from another fatal accident when you threw a tantrum in the middle of the playground, not giving a single crap about the mud near the sand pit.

You two are best friends ever since and created your own tradition for the holidays in the first year of your high school years. Six years ago, it was a stupid and rather annoying accident that he downloaded the wrong movie, now, among your new friends and Hanbin’s first ever girlfriend from some other idol group, you choose Love Actually on purpose, desperately looking for an empty seat in the living room of their dorm. It was so much quieter and more peaceful when there were just the two of you!

Cuddling in Bobby’s embrace, you lose yourself in the young Thomas Brodie-Sangster’s performance because he’s such a sweetheart, you could squeeze his cheeks on the spot while you would try to shove him into your pocket in vain. Even his tiny body would be a big piece of cake for you, a much bigger piece that your throat could ever swallow. You lose it way before the final scene.

After you all finish the movie and Hanbin escorts his girlfriend to the front door, you go to the bathroom and take a shower while you wash your teeth under the shower head to save a few minutes, one foot already in the bed. You sure overestimated that small smack of energy that had left in you after your four-hour-long shift in the grocery shop where you’re the only part-timer. You have always wondered how that sweet, old lady could do all the hard work when you’re not around.

Ready to go to sleep, you find the couch less empty than you would prefer it to be but looking at the sleepy Bobby snoring like a wide animal makes up for all the nuisance he causes and you decide to let him be. He looks too cute with the flower patterned pillows surrounding his body.

You sit on your heels and watch his relaxed face, eager fingers playing with his silky hair that seems quite a mess now that he doesn’t fix it in every five minutes. A guy like him who tends to spend almost half an hour in the bathroom every single morning shouldn’t be effortlessly handsome because this way, all his routine appears to be nothing but a waste of time. You sigh when you realize that your careless attempt at pushing him into the arms of his sweetest dreams actually wakes him up.

He smiles and pats the tiny space on his right side. Chewing your bottom lip, you give in and lay next to his body. After all, who are you to refuse his offer when you’re finally alone?

Trying to keep your balance on the edge of the couch, you can feel his arm pulling you close, rough fingers caressing your back. Those tiny circles he draws on your skin dress your whole body in goosebumps.

A part of you hates it, how good it feels to be in his arms.

‘Please, don’t do this,’ you beg because you really don’t want to misunderstand the situation as your brain already throws the third theory at you, whispering one of your sinful desires into your ear. Damn you, how much you want him to look at you as Hanbin looks at his girlfriend.

But Bobby is different. He can be really clingy sometimes while on other days, he shuts you out completely, reading your texts but never replying them. On those days, you wish you could push him away and tear this nonsense bond of yours apart for good.

When your best friend pulls your head onto his chest, pushing the last drop of oxygen out of your lungs, his masculine scent leaves you literally breathless and you hate that how weak your voice sounds when you try to set yourself free.

‘Bobby…’ you say, repeating his name over and over again like a mantra or a prayer as if it could save you from your doom. But it’s useless. He wins and you lose at the moment he decides to hide his face in the crook of your neck.

He sighs and his hot breath tickles you ears, making it impossible for you to push him away because it feels so good, so right that the fact that you lose control suddenly doesn’t bother you at all. Desperate, your arm grabs the boy’s shoulder, head hot and ruby red, and damn, you almost forget your own name when you notice the fast pace, the murderous pace of your best friend’s heart. When you lift your head up, your gaze meets his confused eyes, both your and his mouth are open wide in disbelief.

‘Bobby…’ you whisper once again, a little rougher. Truth to tell, there are lots of things you want to say, starting with a light confession about the pleasant feeling that blooms in your chest whenever he takes a breath, deeper than usual, then describing that pinch of itching pain that spreads in your body whenever he pulls you close. Your stupid, stupid lips! Why can’t they move when your heart is ready to explode into shattered pieces right in front of his eyes!

Your mouth parts then closes, unsaid promises echoing in your mind when you notice the sweet pressure on your lips and his loving hands on your figure, long fingers brushing a nasty mop of hair out of your face.

You pinch your left arm to wake yourself up from this cruel dream but the dull pain doesn’t work and you almost choke, eyes open wide, when Bobby pecks your forehead and lets you go.

You grab his tee with an unsatisfied moan, cheeks deep crimson as your own voice fondles your ears. Was this really you?

Unable to look him in the eye, he ruffles your messy locks and leans closer to your ear. A sinful part of you wishes him to do more than putting some words carefully one after the other. But he is so predictable, always taking a step backwards when it’s time to move.

‘Sleep tight,’ he says and you roll your eyes, knowing perfectly well that there will be no more kisses for today. So, you let him hug you, telling yourself that you won’t regret this, that you’re not regretting this. Because why would you? Loving someone shouldn’t hurt you at all.