DAZED AND CONFUSED KOREA: February 2011 Issue

CONSTELLATIONS: YG Entertainment’s Rising Star: Seungri–Vocal with the Sweetest Voice, Boy with the Biggest Dreams

In his first big interview after debut, Seungri talks about Love: Family, Fans, Dating, and ...Marriage?

Q: Nervous?

Seungri: (Laughs) Very. This is my first big interview. Thank you for having me.

Q: We’ve heard your debut showcase was a huge success. And your debut album–number one on the charts so fast! That’s incredible! How are you feeling?

Seungri: Thank you. I was also very surprised. To tell you the truth, my debut was delayed for a long while, so I did not expect to be well received like this at all. I am very thankful.

Q: You’ve worked hard. You deserve all the good graces coming your way.

Seungri: Thank you, but I wasn’t alone. I had the help of so many people–my boss, my seniors, and my producer. It was a team effort. Without them behind me I’d never be where I am now. I’m very lucky to have them by my side.

Q: It seems Seungri is a person full of gratitude.

Seungri: I am. (Laughs) But in a sense doesn't gratitude–doesn’t love, kindness, encouragement and all things of the sort push you to strive for your goals? I know for me, with my parents’ support and my instructors’ insistence in my improvement, I was able to step on the stage and sing–to achieve my dreams. To that, I am grateful everyday.

And then there are my fans, that have been with me even as a trainee. I wasn’t really much back then, but you strop by me. Thank you. In times that I feel down, you give me strength.

Q: Speaking of your fans, they’ve been fondly calling you their Highschool First Love. What do you think about that?

Seungri: Highschool First Love?

Q: Yes. Unrequited Highschool First Love, actually. They describe you as the highschool sweetheart that everyone had stopped and stared at as they crossed the room, your presence making everyone buzz with the desire to talk to you, admired and adored by all.

Seungri: I didn’t know this. At all. But it sounds kind of cute. (Laughs) Thank you? I’m sad it has be unrequited, but I understand why it would be.

Q: Does someone like Seungri experience unrequited love then?

Seungri: It’s unfortunate, but sometimes you fall for people you know you can’t have.

Q: Is that so? But I’m sure everyone is also curious: Who is Seungri’s ideal type?

Seungri: Ideal type? I do not bother with the specifics, as long as it’s someone who likes me. (Laughs)

If I had to say anything though, my ideal type... would be someone who loves me for who am, but is also patient enough to correct me if I say or do something out of line.

Someone I can mess around with, as well as someone I can spend quiet mornings with.

Someone who may be very bad at cooking and I’d come home to a plateful of burnt food, but that’s okay, they meant well and I’ll tell them it tastes awful but I’d still continue eating it until it’s gone.

Someone that will be with me on every success, and will still be with me in times of my distress.

Someone whom I love and loves me in return, that is all that matters, really.

Q: It seems like you have a person in mind though.

Seungri: (Smiles) Maybe. Maybe not.

Q: Are you perhaps with this person right now?

Seungri: That would be amazing, but I’m not allowed to. Boss’ orders. (Laughs)

It's a shame really, sometimes things remain unrequited because they are beyond my power.

Q: But will that stop Seungri?

Seungri: Hm, you know what? You’re right. I have my ways. You’ll be the first person I tell if it works out. (Laughs)

I’m honestly not hopeful myself, but my fingers are crossed.

Q: That all sounds exciting. You seem to be the person who plans ahead, someone who has everything figured out. Perhaps, even a wedding song in mind?

Seungri: I really don’t. I’m still trying to figure out a lot of things, trying to figure out myself as I continue to grow as a person and as an artist.

But you're right, I do have a song in mind. (Laughs)

But it might be because I’ve been practicing. Someone from the YG staff is getting married soon and they asked me to sing at their wedding. I’m honored. The song is 4MEN’s Baby Baby. It’s such a sweet song, and I think to have it sung at my own wedding would be wonderful.

--

“Hyung–! Oh my god–”

Jiyong jumps from his chair at the urgency of Seungri voice. The younger’s frantic footsteps fill the hall, and Jiyong scrambles to collect himself, stumbling out his room to find Seungri hurriedly turning the stove off.

Oh, right. .

“Sorry,” Jiyong mumbles sheepishly as he nears Seungri. “I got distracted.”

He toys with the apron around his waist as the younger grabs the mop from the broom closet and hands it to him with a pointed look. With an embarrassed smile, the older takes the mop from him and starts cleaning up the mess he’s absentmindedly made on the their kitchen floor.

“What were you even doing?” Seungri sighs as he checks the pasta Jiyong had left to cook. “They’re still okay, thank god.”

Jiyong huffs, suddenly defensive. “Listen, it’s not my fault! Youngbae, he–”

Seungri cuts him off with a snort, shaking his head in disbelief. “Of course!”

The older pouts. “I couldn't let it happen! He was beating me!”

It was a very uneventful Friday that weekend, both Jiyong and Seungri doing nothing but savoring their day off watching cooking show reruns when the sudden craving of pasta hit them.

And it was all going well until they noticed they lack of ingredients, until Seungri put Jiyong in charge of cooking the noodles while Seungri ran down to the store to get them.

As Jiyong waited for the water to boil, Youngbae distracted him with a sudden text.

Youngbae
LVL 150 now. Eat , Kwon!

Provoked, Jiyong ran to his room and turn his computer on.

It’s always been Jiyong’s problem–his competitiveness terribly infuriating with how much he’d be wrapped into things and forget the rest of the world. Right now, him and Youngbae were engrossed in this MMORPG called We Moba and have ever since been very loud and destructive about it.

“Anyway I beat him, if you care to know.” Jiyong murmurs.

“Sure. Congrats. Whatever.” Seungri says with a laugh and a dismissive hand. He’s long since accepted how annoying both of his hyungs have gotten with how glued they were to their computer screens, and he has also since given up trying to understand what was so great about the game.

Seungri slumps down on a chair by the isle, dumping the things he bought onto the countertop with a sigh.

Jiyong raises a brow at him as he puts the mop away. “Why do you look so exhausted?” He mumbles. “The convenient store isn’t that far from here.”

Seungri only flashes him a glare, pointing an accusing finger at him. “If I hear Hey y one more time, I'm going to kill you.”

Jiyong sputters at Seungri’s threat, grinding so wide at the accusation. “Kill me?” He asks innocently. He hums happily as he pulls out the spaghetti sauce from Seungri’s plastic bag. “I’d like to see you try.”

After the success of Seungri’s debut, Strong Baby, his debut song in particular, had everyone  singing along to it on the streets, stores of all kinds blasting on the radio, even countless covers and parodies of it on TV.

The amount of times Seungri had whined about going out to buy things and hearing a chorus of Hey y’s out of nowhere just to see him startle and blush was embarrassingly high.

It’s been both fun and difficult. Seungri couldn't go to Naksan in peace like he used to at first. Instead of the calmness the moon brings him, he instead startles at the flashes of camera phones whenever he visits the bridge.

When Jiyong asks Seungri if it bothered him, the boy just shrugged, saying he didn’t mind the chaos of it all. It’s something to get used to for sure, but he’s very thankful for the recognition no matter how startling some of the encounters were.

Now, Seungri would greet the fans waiting for him by the bridge and invite them to enjoy the view of the glowing moon with him. Accounts of his kindness increased the amount of visitors at Naksan, everyone wanting to get a glimpse of Seungri despite the chill at one in the morning.

Eventually, the initial shock of it all had dwindled with Seungri’s frequent visits, and they didn’t crowd around him like they used to, letting the boy reclaim his place of peace looking up at the moon he adored.

Jiyong in the meantime had a kick of all of it, Seungri’s flustered pink face amusing each time. They’re walks would sometimes end up like a mini fanmeeting with all the eager teens wanting Seungri to sign their things.

It was cute, until it wasn’t.

It was an evening out at the mall with the younger that Jiyong would never forget. It made Jiyong’s eye tick just thinking about it. In the one minute he leaves Seungri alone to pay for their things, he comes back to the idol singer crushed into a hug by some random stranger, a male fan who looks absolutely enamored with Seungri.

Seungri was none the wiser, warm as always as he smiles at the other boy, nodding and laughing along to his nervous message for Seungri. And Jiyong stayed where he way by the jackets, not wanting to disrupt the moment, no matter how much he wanted to.

“ it up, you're famous now.” Jiyong mumbles as he pours the sauce into the pot. He ignores the way it sounds like he’s convincing himself more than directing it to Seungri.

It only earns him a loud, long suffering groan from Seungri, and just like that, it’s quick to make a smile curl back up Jiyong’s lips. Perhaps it's sadistic to find amusement in Seungri’s misery, but JIyong couldn’t help it, not when a whining Seungri was an adorable sight to behold.

“It’s your fault!” Seungri suddenly quips.

Jiyong fakes a gasp. “How is it my fault?” His catches his trembling lip with his teeth, trying his hardest not to burst into laughter. “You’re the one who wanted to be an idol here!”

“Yeah well, you wrote the damn song! You basically subjected me into this hell.”

“Brat.” Jiyong huffs, pointing his wooden spoon at Seungri. “You’re always so ungrateful! You should be thanking me instead of threatening me. The things I do for you, kid. Honestly, you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I’m not cute!” Seungri lets out a frustrated noise as he gets up from his seat, charging towards a laughing Jiyong who has his hands up in defense. “Okay! Okay! I get it!”

They engage into their usual squabble, with Jiyong laughing his off as Seungri hits him playfully, tries and pokes at his ticklish spots.

In the middle of their playfight, Jiyong finds himself cornered between the kitchen isles and Seungri, the boy groaning and huffing as he leaned his weight against Jiyong frame. Jiyong is stiff as the boy wraps his arms around him.

“I’m tired.” Seungri mumbles.

“Are you going to tell me it’s my fault again?”

“You–”

From the living room, Seungri’s phone suddenly lights up, blaring Tokunaga Hideaki’s Rainy Blue in startling volume. It makes the both of them jump.

“Someone’s calling you.” Jiyong laughs, and he tries to gently pry the younger off of him.

Jiyong worries his bottom lip with his teeth. He’s sure Seungri could hear it, sure the boy could feel how fast his heart was beating right now, and it wasn’t from their roughhousing.

But Seungri doesn’t move, instead he presses closer. He hums along to the bittersweet song he’s memorized by heart, letting his ringtone play all the way through.

“I love this song.” Seungri mumbles against Jiyong’s shirt, swaying to the sad melody of Hideaki’s voice.

Jiyong does too–especially when through their quiet apartment, Seungri’s dreamlike voice would echo through the halls. But it’s also a song that hurts, and being so close to Seungri like this already has Jiyong’s heart hammering painfully against his chest. Hearing him sing along to words that hurt is making it even more unbearable.

I know it’s over though
Why am I still chasing?
Like I'm trying to erase the phantom of you

Jiyong closes his eyes as Seungri’s continues to sing along, he closes his eyes at the way his heart is beating along to his favorite boy’s velvet voice.

Today its raining quietly again

From where they were swaying in the kitchen, Jiyong eyes linger at the continuous glowing of Seungri’s phone on the coffee table.

Seungri eventually lets go when the song ends, and he skips to the broom closet to pull out another apron for himself.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Jiyong asks. He watches the nervous flutter of Seungri’s lashes as he blink, pointedly ignoring the questions as he checks on their pot again.

“I’m learning Japanese these days, and that song helps.” Seungri says instead.

The boy grins as Jiyong joins him by the stove and begins to stir and mix their forgotten pasta. “One day I’d be fluent enough you wouldn’t even know I’m talking about you, hyung. You’d just smile and nod.”

Jiyong laughs softly, humoring him with a smile and a nod of his head. “Can’t wait.”

When the pasta was ready, they prepare the dining table all fancy for the kick of it, clinking their wine glasses together and pretending to be tipsy as they downed their glass of grape juice.

The light patter of rain accompany their evening as Jiyong listens to the new words Seungri’s learned in his Japanese classes, smiling softly at the boy’s palpable excitement.

Seungri’s phone rings a second time as they clear up the table. Seungri still doesn’t answer.

Jiyong watches Seungri hum beside him as they wash the dishes together. He has so many questions–the calls, the caller, and why the boy won’t answer.

But there’s something lodged in his throat everytime he opens his mouth, a warning.

And Jiyong thinks: it’s better if he didn’t know.

--

It’s summer and April has Seungri busy with fansigns all across Seoul.

Despite the unbearable heat, Seungri’s smile never wavered as he greeted everyone with contagious giddiness, the small venue filled with fans eager to meet him.

Jiyong, stuck in the studio, has monitored everything on social media. He smiles at the fan accounts of Seungri getting love letters and chocolates, late Valentine’s gifts they weren’t able to send last February. Jiyong wonders if the pink of his cheeks are from the gifts or from the heat.

His hands are itching to go to Itaewon, wanting to surprise Seungri with a visit.

And like with most of his problems involving the curly haired idol, Jiyong turns to Youngbae.

Youngbae
Just go.

Jiyong
But I’m working on your song…

Youngbae
So you’re saying this is my fault?

Jiyong
:/

Jiyong
Yes.

Youngbae
-_- Insufferable as always.
Just go, Jiyong.

My song can wait, whatever.

The bus trip took an hour at most, but to Jiyong it felt like an eternity.

He was too excited to keep still in his seat, clutching the pass Seungri gave him weeks ago incase he ever wanted stopped by one of his fansigns. At the time, Jiyong had frowned, knowing he’d be too busy to attend one of the stops. It’s ridiculous how different his demeanor is now, a complete 180 as he impatiently taps his foot, wanting to get there as soon as possible.

He’s wearing a beanie and a mask lest someone recognizes him. He didn’t have to worry so much, it’s been a while since news had come out of Jiyong since he was a trainee. And although his name is mentioned in Seungri’s songs as the credited main producer and songwriter, he would never hold a candle to Seungri’s popularity.

Jiyong’s doesn’t mind at the slightest. The spotlight belongs to Seungri and he’ll never tire from shouting that out to the world.

Jiyong’s eating grin is hidden behind his mask as the guard lets him through with no difficulty. He has a little plan to hopefully brighten Seungri’s day–inside his messenger bag were the demo tracks the boy used as a guide in his recordings. It’s something special to both of them, to Seungri especially and he knows Seungri will recognize what they are at first glance and give him a knowing look.

As Jiyong moved further into the venue, the sight of bouncy, curly brown hair excites him more that it should.

Seungri looks adorable in his striped sweatshirt, and if all the heart eyes thrown at the boy weren’t obvious enough, everyone thought so too. The material is thin, perfectly breezy in the summer heat. And it’s so big on him. Jiyong smiles as he listens to some fans gush about his sweater paws as he posed for pictures.

There’s a small line forming by Seungri’s table and Jiyong carefully slips behind the last person in line, giddiness hidden by his face mask.

“Hi!” Seungri greets Jiyong warmly as the last person moves to leave. “How are–”

The way Seungri’s eyes widen comically has Jiyong biting his lip to stop his laugh.

“J-Jiyong–!?”

Shhh, Jiyong gestures with his hands.

Seungri is quick to cover his big grin with his sleeves, his small hands peeking through the hems cutely. His excitement is palpable, like he didn’t just spent spend hours at his table signing CDs and greeting fans, and Jiyong pulls down his mask, revealing his gummy smile.

“You came!” Seungri says, his excitement flushing his cheeks a pretty pink. Jiyong thinks he’ll never tire of falling in love with him over and over again.

“I’m a big fan, how can I not come?” Jiyong says, cheek in his shaky voice. He digs into his messenger bag to pull the demo tracks out and places them in front of Seungri. “Can you sign these for me?”

Seungri’s laugh is melodic as he recognizes what Jiyong brought. “How did you even get a hold of these? I believe these are limited edition copies.”

Jiyong shrugs, biting at his lip at the way Seungri plays alongs so enthusiastically. “I have my ways, Seungri-ssi.” He winks.

Seungri shakes his head, smiling down onto the clear CD cases he knew like the back of his hands. “To whom should I sign these for?”

“Jiyongie-hyung.”

“Jiyongie-hyung?” Seungri’s smile is blinding as he looks up at him, and Jiyong finds himself shying his gaze to his fidgeting hands.

“Yeah.” Jiyong laughs.

They pose for pictures when Seungri’s finished scribbling a messy message that Jiyong strained his neck to get a peek, and Jiyong had to hide his smug grin at the whines from the small crowd when Seungri climbs over the table just to hug Jiyong, circling his arms around the older’s waist in a giddy embrace. The bodyguards almost had a heart attack.

“I’ll wait for you outside, okay?” Jiyong says as they part, but their hands linger even after the hug, and Jiyong wills himself to let go.

He holds on.

“Okay.” Seungri nods, giving Jiyong’s hand one last squeeze before he goes back to his seat.

Seungri’s manager drives them to a noodle shop Seungri’s been wanting to take Jiyong to. They’re delicious as Seungri said they were, but Jiyong didn’t have the appetite in him to be gulfing it down like he should be.

Against the idle chatter from the neighboring tables, there’s an air between them that’s uncomfortable, no matter how much they make light conversation.

Jiyong tries to seem unaffected by the weird atmosphere, but he couldn't not notice the way Seungri was fidgeting with his phone–like he was waiting for something, someone.

Jiyong pushes his chopsticks away, suddenly full.

--

To: Jiyongie-hyung ♡

You didn’t have to come all the way here,
but I can’t lie and say I’m not happy to see you *^^*

P.S. No matter how much you cover up,
I’d recognize those brown eyes anywhere :p

Seungri \^^/

--

At some point Seungri starts staying out late, later than what would deem appropriate, and Jiyong doesn’t know what to do.

The change wasn’t instantaneous–it was gradual the way Seungri had excused himself to go to practice. He’d tell Jiyong he’d go work on his routines, and Jiyong would just hum in acknowledgement as Seungri practically runs to the front door, despite how uncomfortable his gut was making him feel.

“Where have you been?” Jiyong asks, crossing his arms over his chest as Seungri closed the door behind him.

It’s not like Jiyong to police the boy like this, hell, he’s had his own late night excursions that were deemed questionable himself, but there was a force pushing him to wait by the door that particular night, with their windows bleeding red, signaling the start of a new morning.

This was the latest Seungri had gotten home from “practice”, and as Seungri unravels his scarf from around his neck, Jiyong’s stomach drops.

“I told you, I was out practicing.” Seungri replies with a shrug. His cheeks and lips were pink from the cold, and plump and bruised by something else that has Jiyong feeling sick.

Before Seungri could walk pass him, Jiyong seizes his wrist.

“You don’t have any new material to practice with. Promotions are over. They were over ing month agos, Seungri. Where did you go?”

Jiyong’s brow only ticks at the way Seungri groans in exasperation. “Fine! I was out with a friend, okay? Happy now?”

Seungri attempts to pull his hand away, but Jiyong’s iron grip only tightens. He pulls Seungri closer to him, lips trembling as the boy flinches as he reluctantly reaches out. “Out with a friend, huh?”

Jiyong’s eyes flicker as he runs his hand over the younger boy’s neck, watching Seungri hiss as he presses onto a red bruise starting to purple. His neck is covered with bites, bites made by teeth and lips, none of them from the insects that late summer brought.

“I don’t know what your friend is into, but tell them to be more discrete.” Jiyong grits out.

An embarrassed flush color Seungri’s face and neck red, eyes guilty and looking elsewhere and Jiyong wants to throw up.

. He knows it none of his ing business, he knows that Seungri can meet, kiss, and whoever he ing wants. It shouldn’t matter to him, it’s shouldn’t be affecting him this much.

But it does, and it ing hurts.

When he was warned about it at the beginning of training, Jiyong thought the dating ban was bull himself. But that night when he overheard Youngbae and Seungri shouting through the phone because of it, it was the first time he thought it