She stares into her cup of coffee, fingers fidgeting with a packet of sugar, avoiding the gaze of the woman who sat in front of her. Every now and then, like now, her eyes will wander—they’ll take a glance at the chattery pedestrians on the opposite side of the window and then maybe at the pastry selection just a few steps away from her. Huh, she thinks, it actually looks pretty appetizing. And so she decides she’ll grab a donut later, she deserved at least one sweet thing in her life.

Regardless, the point was that Sinb was avoiding Sowon.

Well, clearly that was going pretty well for her, considering that she somehow managed to land a breakfast “date” with said person. Forced confrontation, oh how she loved it so much; Sinb is going to kill Eunha and Yerin for setting her up. She thought it was strange, how they had suddenly went up to her yesterday, asking if she had time to meet up tomorrow. Now that she thinks of it, she wonders why in the world she agreed to them when they refused to tell her why they wanted her there. Why did she have to be so damned dense? She almost slams her head into the table as she continues scrutinizing all the little things that she didn’t notice the day before. Leaning back against her seat, she sighs, and her lips curve downwards into one of her infamous upside down smiles.

“The coffee is too watery, I’ll give it 1.5 stars,” the taller girl across from her remarks.

Sinb simply nods and shuffles her phone out of her pocket, deciding that she’ll text Umji and ask her to come up with an excuse to save her. She can feel the woman across from her glaring straight into her soul and she shivers. Fingers scrolling quickly through her contacts, she searches for Umji’s name.

“Hey!” Sowon calls out in a somewhat annoyed voice.

The other girl continues to look through her contacts and mumbles a reply that even she couldn't quite comprehend. It was something along the lines of her complaining about people nagging her, but never mind that, that wasn’t important right then. They were in the middle of an intervention, a revelation that Sowon so desperately wanted unravel.

“Hwang, I’m talking to you, you know.”

“Really? Because all I hear is the sound of some annoying mosquito with irregularly long stick legs buzzing into my ear.”

The older woman scoffs and raises her eyebrows, “Seriously? I don't get it, why are you being like this.”

Sinb shrugs and ignores her, and then that's when it happened, that's when Sowon’s had it. She promptly snatches Sinb’s phone out of her hands and glares at her. Furrowing her eyebrows, the dancer scowls and grumbles, eyes averting from the other girl despite the hot flash of anger consuming her mind.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” she asks, leaning closer to the now frustrated girl.

“I'm sorry that I have other things to do than fight with you,” Sinb grumbles.

“What was that?!”

“Come on grandma, really? Can’t you hear, jeez, I said that I have other things to do, is it that hard to believe?”

Sowon exhales, she massages her forehead with her hands before looking at Sinb who looks away. She really doesn't feel like fighting with Sinb today, or ever really, but somehow it always ends up like this. Yet, she still gravitates towards the shorter girl, looking for her, wanting to be by her side. Sowon doesn't quite understand why, but she knows that she wants to be okay with the other girl again.

For her, they need to be okay.

She takes a deep breath and sighs, she tries to stare into Sinb’s eyes but she averts them in an instant, so Sowon gives up and tells her, “You know that hurts me a lot, you weren't too busy to go to a karaoke session with Yuju when she was feeling down and you had a dance competition the day after! But when I need you, for even only a minute, you're gone, you disappear in a poof like some sort of magician.”

Sinb paused, she doesn't know what to say, but eventually she mutters in a serious tone, “So what if I'm a wizard?”

“See, you really have been spending a lot of time with Yuju!” Sowon exclaims.

The younger of the two curses and she succumbs to another petty excuse, “Look, I just can't be around you, we fight too much.”

“That’s a lie, you fight with Yerin everyday,” Sowon fires right back at her and Sinb is left speechless.

She's out of excuses really but that doesn't mean she'll stop trying to avoid telling Sowon what she's been hiding at all costs. Because, in reality, Sinb is stubborn, she refuses to confront her problems so she avoids them, as simple as that is. It’s like she poisons herself on purpose, she buries her worries into the ground and wait for them to grow into overbearing trees. She knows it’s self destructive, but yet here she is again, coming up with another completely ridiculous explanation.

“Yerin and I do not fight, we merely exchange friendly banter, it’s a best friend thing.”

Sowon sighs as Sinb picks up her cup of coffee, taking a sip of bitterness.

“Yeah, sure,” Sowon says, “And I'm dating Eunha.”

For a moment, it's silent, the other girl doesn't react until a bit later. She almost spits her coffee out and widens her eyes, finally looking Sowon in the eye. Amused, Sowon simply smirks, daring the shorter girl to respond. Sinb opens to retort back, but she closes it after a few seconds, bepuzzled in what to say to her. For a while, it stays like this, with her trying to find her words, failing horrendously in each attempts as she suddenly opens and closes . In time, it seems foolish, Sowon would even go as far as comparing Sinb to a child who suddenly couldn’t explain to her parents how a vase mysteriously got knocked over. Eventually, she chuckled, she tries to keep it to herself but she can’t help bursting into laughter. This was something she loved so much about the little brat.

“It’s a joke sweetie, for someone who’s usually so sharp and witty, you really are being stupid today.”

With a red a hue spread over her cheeks, Sinb utters, “It's not funny granny, what type of outdated humor do you have. Besides, I have to leave soon… for something.”

“Well aren't you a ray of sunshine,” she says, “Oh, it seems like Umji texted you to study for a math test tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we do, it’s on integration by parts, so give my phone back to me.”

“Ah really, she says she wants to make plans to meet you.”

Sinb nods furiously and in a frevent moment of desperation, she says, “Give me my phone back, you can’t be that inept of a person to prevent someone from making plans with a friend.”

Sowon, surprisingly, agrees and reaches over to hand back her phone and Sinb is about to thank God for having a psychic friend like Umji. Oh sweet Umji, her most trustworthy friend and partner, she thinks to herself; she feels as though she’s been saved from a death sentencing where Sowon is her executioner.

But oh man, oh no, this was one big embarrassing mistake that she’d never live down. Umji had not texted her and there wasn’t a single notification on her phone that could save her from the trap she fell into. Sowon had caught her red handed and it’d be ridiculous to lie her way out of this.

“You do know that you’re a dance major in college and don’t have any math classes, right?” Sowon whispers with a hint of fake astonishment in her voice.

She doesn't reply, she remains with agape, staring at her phone. To be fair, it hasn’t been long since she’s been in high school, it's only her first year of college. Though, she still wants to face palms herself, and, perhaps, sink into a hole ten feet beneath Earth’s surface and never see the light of day again.

“So, why have you been avoiding me?”

Sinb sighs. “I can't be around you, it's not good for me, it’s not good for us,” she finally admits.

She looks into Sowon’s eyes and she can feel the hurt the other girl must've felt after she said that. If she could, Sinb would take all of her pain away and suffer alone. If she could, Sinb would stay with Sowon forever. But that's the problem, if she could she would but she can't.

“I thought we got along well together,” Sowon says in a saddened tone.

Sinb quickly ensures, “We do, we do! It's just that, when I'm around you there's something wrong—no, I don't mean it in a bad way, it's… Ugh.”

She’s always has been decent at sorting out her friends’ problems and she’s usually blunt, it was supposed to be easy for Sinb to speak her mind. This was a strange phenomenon that only occurred whenever she was around Sowon, she was never really good at expressing her soft side, it just didn’t seem to come across as something she’d say so she didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry,” is all she manages to fumble out of all the words swirling in her head and she looks back down. Into the bitter blackness of her coffee, she stares once more.

“I like spending time with you, Eunbi, even if we do fight,” she confesses, looking at Sinb desperately.

“Sojung, I… I like it too, all of it. I like everything about you and being next to you.”

“Then stop avoiding me all the time, God, why do you have to be so miserable all the time.”

“I’m not miserable at all! I have fun all the time, don’t you see me hanging out with Yerin all the time? We dance at the karaoke and fool around all day long.”

Sowon rolls her eyes, she remembers the time that Eunbi and Yerin had convinced her to join them. She smiles a bit, she’ll never admit it but she missed those times where they’d fool around together.

For a second, Sowon forgets what she was asking but then she remembers, “Eunbi, that still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I mean, it kind of does, you did ask if I was miserable.”

“Eunbi,” she says sternly, “You know what I mean.”

“I—It’s because I don't want to bother you,” Sinb whispers.

Sowon looks at her, confused, “Why would you ever do that?”

“Because I say stuff I don’t mean and you get hurt easily,” she explained, “I don’t want to do that to you, especially when I feel...”

“Eunbi,” Sowon pats her hair and hushes, “what are you talking about, I know when you’re joking.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,“ Sinb gathers her courage, “I’ve been wanting to tell you something and the wrong things just keep coming out.”

“It’s okay,” the other girl coos, “it's alright, I'll be here for you, I'll always be here.”

Sinb fidgets around with her fingers again and the words she wants to say are caught in . It’s funny, how hard they were to say, even though she’s been wanting to tell Sowon for the longest time. She really wants her to know how amazing and kind she is; how she makes fun of her because she wants her to pay attention to her; how she wants her attention for herself, only.

She doesn’t know when she it started, but whenever the taller girl was around, her heart would flutter and she’d sputter out dumb things. When she wanted to compliment Sowon on her legs, she’d call them sticks instead. When she wanted to tell her that she really liked how Sowon always cared for her, she complained about her nagging. When she wanted to tell Sowon anything, it always came out wrong. Sinb hated that, she wanted to tell her how she really felt. She knows though, that right now, she’s young—she’s still growing up. It's confusing time in her life and she doesn't know if she’ll be enough for the other girl.

The younger decides then, she stands up and she looks at Sowon, trying to memorize every inch of her beautiful face because she knows it could be the last time that they're okay with each other. There were things she wanted to sort out alone, parts of herself that she wanted to work on before she told her, but still, she couldn’t help it anymore. From the start, she knew that it was all hopeless no matter what she tried to tell herself. In time, she knew she had to tell her the truth, to speak the words that she held close to her heart:

“I want to be the one you can love.”

There's a momentary silence that follows after those words leave her lips. Sinb can't bring herself to look towards Sowon’s direction, there's a wave of heat covering her cheeks and, ironically, she's simultaneously breaking into a cold sweat. She's afraid that she'll be rejected or ignored, but she holds on to the sliver of hope that held her heart together.

When the silence ensues, she thinks it's over and heart falls apart; it shatters in her chest, piercing her lungs along the way. Sinb turns away and she feels cold wet tears slide down her cheeks. She feels her hands starting to tremble and her legs beginning to give way.

Her breath hitches and her heart needs stitches.

With her body shaking and sleeves gradually soaking up her tears, she starts to leave. Heartbroken and dreams lost, what else could she have expected?

A hug?

She feels a pair of arms snake around her waist and warm body pressed against her back. A soft pair of lips press against her forehead and Sinb starts to cry even more. She sobs into Sowon’s sweater and holds onto her, not planning to let go anytime soon.

“I thought I wasn't good enough for you, that you deserved someone who could love your properly, that I was bothering you when I always wanted your attention. ”

Sowon cups her cheeks and pulls apart from their hug and looks into her eyes.

“Listen to me,” she whispers, “I love you.”

She presses her forehead against the others and brings the younger one closer to her.

“I love you.”

She leans forwards and kisses her lips softly.

“I love you.”

There's a blush that spreads through Sinb’s face, she lets herself get lost in the moment; she's glad that she's the one she can love.