May 2017

Yeouido, Seoul, South Korea

“Wait…you’re doing the MCing today?” Shim Changmin asked his friend as they disembarked from the bus that had taken them from their barracks in Yongsan to the Yeouido Multi-Plaza for the U-Clean Youth Culture Concert. He was initially surprised that Choi Siwon was even with them today, knowing that his friend had only come back from survival training earlier that morning. All the other members of the regiment who had taken part in those joint exercises with the American forces were given the day to rest. And yet here Siwon sat next to him, and not only is he participating in the concert, he will also be the MC. “I thought Donghae was the MC for today?”

“He’s not feeling well,” Siwon replied as nonchalantly as he could, but Changmin could hear the exhaustion in his voice. “So, I volunteered to take his place. Captain Oh didn’t have a problem with it.”

Changmin didn’t reply, only giving Siwon a skeptical look before following him out of the bus, where he found Donghae and the others heading toward the tented backstage area. He couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Yesung with his camera out acting as paparazzi, playfully shooting pictures of the group as they got ready for the concert. True to form, the Super Junior guys were always there to support each other, to support their SM family.

What did surprise him, however, was the presence of Choi Jiwon, who immediately jumped on her older brother and gave him a big hug and a kiss.

“Oppa, you’re so thin! Mother is going to yell at Colonel Park if she sees you like this!” Jiwon teased Siwon as she finally let him go and took a good look at him. At the mention of his mother, Siwon groaned and told his sister not to say anything. All he needed in his last 3 months of duty was for his mother to raise hell with the army on his behalf.

Jiwon’s passing comment about her brother startled Changmin out of his daydreaming. For the first time in a long time, he took a look at his friend, and he was shocked at what he saw.

‘Jiwon was right, Siwon had lost quite a bit of weight. He looked gaunt and physically drained.’

‘And there was something else, something in his eyes, something that aged him, some unspoken burden that weighed on him. He seemed uneasy, stressed, on edge whenever Donghae was around. Were they fighting? No, the Super Junior guys were as close as brothers can be.’

‘No, Siwon was…he was scared…he looked afraid…terrified…but of what? He wasn’t afraid for himself…no…he…he was afraid for Donghae…but what…’

“Shim! Get your over here and get ready!” an annoyed Captain Oh yelled at Changmin, snapping him back to reality.

“Sir yes sir!” Changmin saluted and quickly ran to rejoin his group. ‘What was Siwon so scared of?’

Yeouido, Seoul, South Korea

“You okay?” Yesung asked a panting Donghae as they sat in the backstage tent. “It’s hot out there, and I know how easily you can get sick in hot weather.”

Donghae tried to answer, but nothing came out of his mouth, so he masked his exhaustion by taking another swig of his water. He wasn’t okay, he felt like his chest was afire, he couldn’t catch his breath. He was seeing stars after the exertion of the performance. The military doctors had wanted him excused from all strenuous physical activity. That was why he didn’t go with Siwon on the survival training even though it was their turn. That was why he hadn’t participated in most of the concerts and scheduled shows with the rest of his unit. The doctors wanted to give him a medical discharge, but everyone knew that would have caused too much trouble, attracted too much attention, created a media firestorm. Instead, General Im had requested Donghae as an aide-de-camp, giving him a desk job until his discharge in 2 months. Even so, he couldn’t avoid this concert. His absence would have raised too many suspicions.

“Yeah, hyung, I’m fine. Just don’t like the heat,” Donghae finally answered. “Unlike Captain Korea out there, I’m not superhuman.”

Donghae hoped the joke would deflect Yesung’s concern. He didn’t want anyone else to know about his problem, not yet.

“Siwon’s not doing so well out there either,” Yesung replied, not taking the bait. They had been together long enough for him to know when Donghae was lying to him, when Siwon was lying to him. And the two younger men were definitely hiding something from him, from all of them, today. “Why the hell is he even here today? I thought he just came back from survival training. I remember when I went through it, we got 2 days off afterwards to recover. I slept like the dead for most of that time because I was so tired.”

“Like I said…Captain Korea,” Donghae chuckled, leaving the conversation open.

He was as worried about Siwon as much as he was about himself. He had seen how stressed Siwon had become, how thin and gaunt he looked, how obsessive he is with finding a way for Donghae to beat this problem. He was pissed at Siwon for worrying so much, for trying to fight all his battles for him. Donghae had no intention of giving up, of succumbing to his bad heart. He was determined to beat this thing, and he didn’t want this thing to kill Siwon instead of him. Besides, Jiwon would probably hunt down St. Peter himself and demand that Donghae be returned to her if he couldn’t beat this thing.

“Yesung oppa! What are you bothering Donghae oppa about now?!” Jiwon interjected herself into the conversation as she entered the tent, followed by Siwon, who just collapsed onto the nearest chair, and Changmin, who began chugging water as if it he was dying of thirst.

Yesung giggled as Jiwon gave him a hug and a kiss before she settled onto Donghae’s lap, giving him a playful kiss. As the youngest of the group’s extended family of siblings, Jiwon had naturally settled into the role of everybody’s younger sister. And she knew how to play the part.

With Changmin in the room, Yesung knew that Jiwon and Donghae were careful with their affection towards each other. No one outside their families and the group members knew about their engagement. Even the members’ families didn’t know yet. And they were very good at hiding their relationship, Yesung admitted. Except for the necklace with the engagement ring around Jiwon’s neck, Yesung would have had no idea that anything was out of the ordinary with Jiwon and Donghae.

“Careful Jiwon,” Changmin joked. “Remember your big brother here said he was going to hire people to beat up anyone who wanted to date you.”

“Just let him try,” Jiwon replied cheerfully.

Siwon, for his part, didn’t have any retort for his younger sister. He tried to get up from his chair and get some water, but he never made it.

“Siwon! What the hell?!” Yesung shouted as he lunged and caught the younger man in a dead faint.

Yongsan Base Hospital, Seoul, South Korea

He could feel her presence by his bedside. He knew the soft pair of hands holding his left hand belonged to her. He knew exactly how her concerned face would look even before he opened his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, not quite opening his eyes yet to face her. “I was being stupid.”

“Shhh…just rest,” she replied. “아빠 says you have heat exhaustion. Too much strenuous exercise in this heat. A day or two of rest and you’ll be as good as new.”

He felt her lean in and give him the briefest of kisses on the lips, causing him to smile as he finally opened his eyes and stared into her beautiful face.

“Hey 바보,” Yesung finally made his presence known. “You’re damn right you’re stupid, scaring us like that. Do you know how dangerous heatstroke is?! How could you even think it’s a good idea to perform after going through survival training?!? In this heat!?! And how come you’ve lost so much weight? You were like a feather when I caught you this afternoon. You’re lucky I was there or else you would have crashed into the water table. Do you know how much trouble it was to get you out of that concert and here to the hospital without anyone knowing? Donghae and Jiwon were so scared for you, we all were. Do you know what the chairman had to do to keep all of this out of the media?! With KBS and SBS and MBC covering the concert!?! AND WHEN THE HELL WERE THE TWO OF YOU GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP!?!”

Siwon and Im Yoona finally broke their gaze of each other and turned to Yesung, whose face was beet red after his tirade. A long second passed, and then they all broke out into fits of laughter.