Once again, Irene was pacing across the dorm.

 

Mumbling under her breath...furrowing her eyebrows… abruptly stopping for that ah-ha moment only to lose that spark moments later… The leader had been at it all night, which technically now became all morning. Oddly enough, there was a detective board to accompany her as she made frantic steps across the dorm. The board was decorated with random maps, photos, and thumbtacks- all of which connected by bright red marker lines. Based on the way the lines connected, it was safe to assume that Joohyun had worked hard enough to make a poorly drawn egg with legs.

 

Either that or she was completely incapable at connecting clues together. Sure, add a map of Seoul and a police badge and it’ll pass as an evidence board. But with a picture of Bogum with drawn on devil horns to a picture of the maknaes pranking a sleeping Wendy, it seemed more like a poorly written out storyboard for a K-drama rather than an evidence board. Even then, the way she connected the evidence seemed odd and random at most. How does Cookies Jar + Urban Dictionary + Suggestive Dancing = Gay Icons? All of this supposed evidence was almost always accompanied by a picture of laundry detergent.  At least, Irene was consistent…

 

At being inconsistent

 

(Still a duality queen)

What could be understood from Irene’s incoherent mess of a board, was a small picture. It was really only noticeable, because of the red lines all connecting to one picture- a picture of Seulgi.

 

Of course, who else would Irene plan a grand scheme for?

 

It was no surprise that after the little incident of being strapped to a hang glider and sent to fly into the sky that Irene would be mad. Well, perhaps very much mad. A poor Canadian had already faced the woman’s wrath, losing all her p o r n  collection and the feeling in her . Poor little Wendy still couldn’t sit down, even for watching T.V. ( Not like there was anything else interesting to watch anymore). But Irene still couldn’t let Seulgi get off that easily. Someone needed to show Seulgi who’s top  not to mess with Bae Joohyun. The thing was, the bear was either too smart or too stupid to feel any sort of pain.

 

It would be a bit hard finding the right sort of revenge on the bear.

 

Example 1

Irene: *punches Seulgi*

Seulgi: :)

Irene: *kicks Seulgi*

Seulgi: :)

Irene: *kills Seulgi*

Seulgi: :)

 

(Copyrighted from the comment section of Youtube. All you Seulrene shippers aren’t slick, you all know what this is  -___- )

 

Frustrated, Irene stopped her pacing, letting out a sign. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to give herself some words of encouragement.

 

“ Come on Bae Joohyun, you’re #2 most wanted woman ranked by lesbians, you can come up with something.”

 

At that moment, Seulgi came up behind Irene, gently holding her in a back hug.

“ Hey #2 most wanted woman,” grinned Seulgi “ It’s me, the #1 most wanted woman”

 

The older elbowed the younger out of annoyance, but that only made the latter hug her even tighter.

 

“Ow.” Seulgi whined

“ Serves you right,” Irene reprimanded “ Don’t you be getting cocky on me Kang Seulgi”

“Me? The 29th ranked in beauty face? Cocky?” teased Seulgi as her eyes turned to crescents.

 

At that moment, Irene turned around and pulled Seulgi’s collar down. The younger gulped as she was brought down to her leader’s head level.Even though the leader was the smaller of the two, it certainly didn’t seem like that in the moment. Slowly, Irene raised her face meeting her onyx eyes with Seulgi’s brown eyes.  Even if Irene was giving Seulgi one of the most intimidating stares of all times, her eyes seemed to transcend a new beauty at the moment. Her usual doe like eyes were now replaced with annoyed ones, making her onyx eyes even more striking. For a moment, Seulgi was t u r n e d on  taken aback.

 

“ Now remember Seulgi,” Irene started “ You may be the #1 most wanted woman, but remember that the #1 most wanted woman will always only want one woman.”

 

Irene began to smirk as she leaned into Seulgi, whispering into her ear.

“And that will always make me better than you.”

 

There was short silence between them as Seulgi took in Irene’s words. Then she began to laugh. Once again, Irene’s confidence disappeared into frustration as she began to punch her repeatedly.

 

“What?” Irene whined “ What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” said Seulgi as she pulled Irene into an even tighter hug.

 

Seulgi held her leader as she said

 

“I was just thinking of how lucky I am.”

 

    Irene then buried her face into Seulgi’s chest to hide her embarrassment. EVen though Seulgi could only see the top of her Irene’s head now, she knew that her leader was already grinning.

“You’re stupid,” mumbled Irene

“I know,” Seulgi said “ But you fell in love with me. So that makes the both of us”

They shared a sweet kiss before a muffled yell could be heard by the likes of Sooyoung.

 

“NOW GO PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE COOKIE JARS”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The couple turned red from embarrassment. It only got worse when a certain Canadian popped her head around the corner asking about the implication behind Sooyoung’s plural use of cookie jar resulting in a long argument. The couple only laughed it off and continued their sweet moment. That was, until Seulgi’s eyes finally saw Irene’s large evidence board.

 

“Um Joohyun?” Seulgi asked

“Hmm?” Joohyun replied

“What’s up with the huge evidence board?”

“Oh, um, that’s not mine”

“ But it’s signed ‘ Made by the one and only Bae Joohyun’?”

“Oh I guess… uh-”

“Wait a minute!”

 

Irene froze for a moment. She didn’t want this sweet moment to be ruined by having Seulgi find out about her revenge scheme.

 

“Don’t tell me…” Seulgi began

 

Joohyun tried to look away, knowing her plan may be blown.

 

“I can’t believe you’re drawing eggs with legs without me!” yelled Seulgi

 

Of course, that’s Seulgi-either too smart or too dumb to get what was going. Irene only gave a sigh of relief as she looked back to Seulgi

 

“Yes Seulgi, that's what I’ve been trying to do for the last 8 hours.” Joohyun sarcastically said

“ No fair!” Seulgi whined “I want to do that too!”

 

Quickly, the bear got out of their hug and rushed into her room. By the sound of the locks clicking and the paper on Seulgi’s room that said ,“ Do not Disturb! Artist at Work!”, Irene knew that she would have a spare day to plan out her revenge. Irene then went back to forming her revenge plan, not before hearing a certain Canadian scream out.

 

“KANG SEULGI YOU DID NOT JUST LOCK ME OUT OF MY ROOM TO DRAW EGGS

WITH LEGS! SM DOES NOT PAY ME ENOUGH FOR THIS”

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“ We knew it would only be time until you came crawling to us”

 

Yeri or rather CEO Katy Kim was sitting in a luxurious business room. There was was, sitting an intimidating stance behind her desk as she face Irene. She was wearing a rather nice black business suit and even had some nice watches and rings- all of which were probably stolen. She even had aviators on when it was the middle of the day

“ Excuse me?” began Irene “You’re the one who invited me in here? Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors? And what the hell did you do to your room? I just cleaned it yesterday.”

“The boss will not tolerate any insults,” said Joy.

 

Joy stood next to Yeri with an equally intimidating stance. Based on her nice buisness suit,her earpiece, and her name tag that says, “ Hi! My name is BODYGUARD”, Joy was apparently Katy Kim’s bodyguard.

 

“ It’s ok Joy. She’s just a rookie” Yeri said.

Yeri turned back to Irene.

“You must excuse my bodyguard-

“Your bodyguard’s an absolutely intolerable human with no sense of self respect or responsibility. It’s a wonder how anybody with so little capabilities would make it this far in life. She can’t even clean after herself. If anything, she tries to play off these insecurities by having this overly confident persona” Irene interrupted

Then Irene turned towards Joy, meeting her with a blank expression.

“But nothing can hide a pathetic excuse of a person”

“You could just say that she’s a loser” said Yeri.

With that, Joy ran out crying.

“All I ever wanted was a mother!” cried out Joy

“I will never have a daughter like you!” yelled Irene

 

Irene turned back to face Yeri.

 

“Aren’t you going to do something about your bodyguard?” asked Irene

“No, after looking at a couple pictures of herself in that rainbow dress, Joy will be the obnoxious demon we hate.” Yeri replied

“Great.”

“ Now on to important matters. I hear that you’re trying to prank Seulgi.”

“Yes I am”

“And how is said prank coming along?”

“It’s… still a work in progress”

“So it still hasn’t been planned. As expected from a rookie. Well, have I got something for you”

Yeri pulled out a briefcase, placing it on her desk. With a simple click, it popped open with stacks of paper

 

“Um I’m going to prank Seulgi by drowning her in paper?” asked Irene

“ No… well not unless you follow instruction #147. Anyways these are the list of pranks the you can pull on Seulgi- all of which are fool-proof” said Yeri

“And you have these because?”

“Well what better to do than torment my favorite bear?”

 

Irene flipped through the papers. As expected from a prank genius, many of these prank included the most interesting ideas from placing Seulgi in a shark tank to making her do the “Dibidibidis” Rap.

“Yeri…” Irene said “ These are all… very nice. But I need something much more simpler.”

“Wow,” Yeri  replied“ As expected from a rookie.”

 

Irene rolled her eyes.

 

“Well that can’t be helped,” Yeri said ” Say Seulgi strapped you on a hang glider before right?”

“Yes. Who can forget?” Irene sarcastically mentioned

“I know right? I still have photos from that day.”

“You what?”
“Nothing. Anyways she tried to send you flying into who knows where because she wanted to return you “home” right?”

“Right.”

“So why don’t you do the same for her. Send her back home then?

“And what would that look like?”

“I don’t know. Where do bears stay?”

 

A little lightbulb went over Irene.

 

“Yah Son Seungwan!” screamed Yeri “ I told you that you weren’t going to repair the lights until after 2 pm”

“Well,” Wendy yelled “ Someone got rid of my p o r n collection. I’m bored. And SM doesn’t pay me. SO here I am”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was the middle of the night when Seulgi’s stomach began to grumble. She tossed and turned in annoyance, but she finally decided to get up when she began to crave for Pringles. It was hard enough that her room smelled like pringles, and even harder when there was a line of pringles trailing from her bed to the door.

 

Seulgi sat up, rubbing her eyes as she tried to push herself to go to the kitchen. She sleepily opened her eyes and they immediately shot open upon seeing the trail of Pringles. Quickly, she jumped out of bed and went near the pringle trail. Crouching down, she examined the first pringle chip. She started eye and even smelling the Pringle to make sure that it wasn’t a dream. After one hesitant bite of the chip, her eyes turned to crescents from finding out that her dream Pringles had came to life. She really did have a trail of pringles. So like the bear she was, she happily continued to munch on the pringles, following the trail outside her room. She slowly made her way outside of the room, not noticing a grinning figure in the darkness. As soon as she passed the door, she heard a loud thud.

 

Suddenly, Seulgi was trapped in a human sized butterfly net.

 

Shocked, she opened her eyes to find a grinning Irene.

 

“Irene?” asked Seulgi

“I’m not Irene!” said Irene “I’m ,uh, Joohyun!”

 

Quickly, Irene put on a pair of glasses, hoping Seulgi would be fooled.

 

“OH MY GOD! A STRANGER WITH GLASSES!” screamed Seulgi

 

Irene rolled her eyes at the bear. You train with someone for 5 years and debut for 4 years, and they still can’t recognize you. She was using her other name for crying out loud.  Easily enough, she turned the butterfly net to lift Seulgi inside the butterfly neck. Placing the net on her shoulder, she proceeded to carry Seulgi away.

 

“Hey pretty stranger!” said Seulgi “Let me finish my Pringles Trail!”

 

Irene ignored her as she went outside of the dorm, bringing the bear to who knows where.

(Hey that rhymes)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was rather difficult carrying Seulgi to the van. Not that she was heavy, it was just that she couldn’t stop talking.

 

“You know, pretty stranger, you look a lot like Irene unnie. When I first saw Irene, she was sooooo pretty. I was shocked. She had huge black eyes and beautiful hair…

Upon getting to the van, she made a quick scan around to see if anybody was near. AFter making sure the coast was clear, Irene opened the back doors of the van. Using all her strength, Irene lifted Seulgi with her butterfly net into the van. Seulgi hovered inside the van until she was plopped down in a human sized cage.

 

“Hey,” Seulgi whined.

Irene only threw a ball of yarn into the cage, before closing the doors.

“Oooh yarn!” said Seulgi

 

Irene then sat herself in the driver’s seat. In her 26 years of living, never has she driven a car. But by the looks of her manager driving their group all the time, it couldn’t be that hard, right?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“AHHHHHH!”

 

Bae Joohyun was panicking and praying as she swerved through the streets of Seoul. With sloppy turns and abrupt stops, it would be safe to say that she wasn’t a natural gifted driver.

 

“Um, pretty stranger?” said Seulgi in the back.

 

Irene paid no attention as she continued her eyes onto the road.

 

“Could you drive a bit better?”

Another swerve.

“If you keep driving like that-”

Another abrupt stop.

“ I think I’m going to be-”

A sloppy U-turn

“Blegh”

 

Irene heard the sound of a sick bear in the back, but that didn’t matter, she had a prank to do! And a lot of practice driving.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Irene was at the gas station in line, waiting to pay for some water and pringles. She decided that it was the best to make a pit stop. One-to help clean up the sick bear in the back and  Two- to take a break from having your life on the edge of death. She paid the cashier and made her way to the van. Making sure no one was near to see, she opened the back door of the van, revealing a poor Seulgi in the cage. With a quick glance, she threw the pringles in the cage as well as some more yarn. She was about to close the door when she Seulgi stopped her.

“Hey! Pretty Stranger!” Seulgi cried out

 

Irene paused. She already felt guilty enough about making Seulgi sick. One look into her bear’s eyes could make this plan fail.

 

“What?” Irene asked

“You better put me back where I belong!” said Seulgi

“And where would that be?”

“Um..” Seulgi took a glance at her hand which had the scrawled out letters of her address

 

She pointed her palm towards Irene.

 

“Here!” Seulgi said

“And where would that be?” asked Irene sarcastically, knowing that her bear had no idea where the RV’s dorm was.

 

“Um… wherever Irene is!”

 

Irene looked up, with a teasing smirk.

 

“And who’s Irene?” asked Irene

“The second most wanted woman in Korea”

 

Irene facepalmed.

 

“And why would I care about the second most wanted woman in Korea? Why not the first?”

asked Irene

“Because the first most wanted woman in Korea only wants one person,” answered Seulgi “ And that’s Irene.”

 

Irene’s smirk turned into a soft smile

 

“And when my girlfriend finds about this, you’re A-S-S  is going to get whooped! And maybe pinched. But mostly whooped!” Seulgi declared

“Ok then, tell your girlfriend I’m scared all right” said Irene.

“You better be! No matter how pretty you are and how much you look and sound like Irene, nothing can match up to her. You’re only a poor imitation of the actual Irene!”

 

Ok that irked Irene, but she let it go. She came closer to Seulgi, kissing the bear’s cheeks to shut her up right before closing the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It took a little bribing with the park official and some heavy lifting, but Irene managed to bring Seulgi to the middle of the forest.

 

“Hey,” asked Seulgi who was sitting in her cage “Where are we?”

“Hmm?” asked Irene “ I only took you back home”

“What? But I live in…” Seulgi made a quick glance towards her hand.

“Well this is where bears live. So I’m doing mother nature a favor and returning what’s hers”

“But there’s no Pringle Trees here”

“Welp, good luck”

 

Irene opened Seulgi’s cage and ran away, leaving Seulgi in the middle of the forest to fend for herself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yo Bae”

 

Joy made her way towards the living room, plopping herself next to Irene who was watching some laundry detergent ads.

 

“You sure you really destroyed all of Wendy’s p o r n collection now?” asked Joy

 

Irene only glared at Joy, before lazily turning her gaze towards the t.v.

 

“By the way, unnie, where’s Seulgi?” questioned Joy

“Oh, I just left her in the middle of a forest” Irene casually mentioned

“YOU WHAT?!”

 

A loud scream was heard from the kitchen, as the two turned around to face a shocked Yeri.

 

“What do you mean?” asked Irene “ That’s what you told me to”

“No!” Yeri said “I meant to take her to the zoo or somewhere, not leave her in the wild to survive!”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“It’s Seulgi.”

………………….

The two both exchanged looks as they fell in silence. Suddenly, the leader felt a sense of  panic.

 

“OH MY GOD MY BABY!”

 

Irene quickly jumped out of the couch and ran out of the door. Now it was only  Joy and Yeri in the dorm.

 

“So…” Joy started “Want to put your hand in the cookie jar?”

 

A muffled thud and an “Ow” could be heard from the dorm as Bae Joohyun ran off to save her girlfriend.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been an hour or so, and there was still no sign of Seulgi. Irene had asked the park ranger and nearby campers if they had seen a bear like monolid girl, but it was no use. Her feet had grown tired from walking throughout the park and her voice was hoarse from calling out Seulgi’s name so many time. Still, her worry only grew as she kept searching for Seulgi. She was not only panicking for her bear, but was also feeling a growing sense of guilt and dread. It would be dark soon and Irene was scared for Seulgi’s safety.

After passing through trees and bushes, she found the original cage she left Seulgi in. Thinking she had a lead, Irene was excited and rushed towards the cage. Making her way through the leaves, she finally came near the cage. Still, there was no Seulgi. Overwhelmed by stress and tiredness of searching for Seulgi, her eyes began to brim with tears as she fell down to the ground. At the thought of losing her bear,she began to cry out.

 

“Seulgi, where are you?”

 

She kept saying Seulgi’s name over and over, hoping that her girlfriend would show up somehow. Still, Seulgi wasn’t there. After seeing that the sun was going to set soon, Irene decided that it was probably best to go home and continue searching for Seulgi tomorrow. Still, she didn’t like the idea of Seulgi being stuck in the middle of the forest, at night.

Irene dusted herself off and tried to wipe off her tears. She began to look up and immediately paled. While she was crying, a large number of bears began to gather around her, circling her. Frozen in fear, Irene tried to scream but all that came out was silence. She could now hear the bears’ growls as they came near. This was not the ideal situation for an animal lover like Irene.

 

“ROOOOAR”

Surprisingly enough, the scream didn’t come from any of the bears surrounding her. Irene turned around, only to be shocked to find Seulgi.

 

Well someone like Seulgi.

 

There she stood, tall and proud on a large boulder holding a makeshift spear. The clothes that she had worn earlier were now ripped off, exposing her muscular biceps and tanned legs. She was also wearing a large palm tree leaf cape. Seulgi had black dirt smeared on her face liked amy lines. When Irene met Seulgi’s face she noticed dirt smears on her face or rather two lines of dirt on her cheeks. She was even wearing an acorn crown. But that didn’t matter to Irene, she was overjoyed to find her bear.

 

Seulgi made another  roar, signalling the bear to stand down. With a mixture of roars and growls, Seulgi communicated in bear language for the bears to make way for her. She then jumped down from her boulder to the ground. She barely stood up before Irene ran to her, capturing her in a hug.

 

“Seulgi? Is that really you?” Irene said as she peppered her bear’s face with kisses

“I am Seulgi, king of the forest and the bears.” stated Seulgi

 

Irene looked up to Seulgi.

 

“While you were gone Irene, I found my true home. I have finally met my true people, the bears. Under their guide, I have learned the laws of nature and the universe. With this knowledge and power, I have been appointed as the chosen one. Now I rule this forest!”

 

Irene giggled.

 

“Ok Ms. Queen of the Forest,” said Irene

“King of the Forest” corrected Seulgi

“Anyways,” continued Seulgi “ I will now appoint, you, as my wife. Everyone bow down to the Queen of the Forest!”

 

Miraculously enough, the bears and all the animals surrounding them bowed down, shocking Joohyun

 

“Seulgi! How-”

“No question, my love! Now let us celebrate our marriage!”

“Um, ok?”

“Let us have a typical brawl between the animals to find out who’s the true alpha!”

“Seulgi, no.”

“Let my subjects give me their young as our wedding gift so I can eat them!”

“Seulgi, no.”

“Now, let us mate here!”

“SEULGI NO”

 

With a quick huff, Irene pinched Seulgi’s ear, dragging her away.

 

“Ow, ow, ow, OWWWW IRENE!”  whined Seulgi

 

“I don’t care if you’re the king of the forest or the #1 most wanted woman, your home belongs to me,where we live in our civilized streets of Seoul with no animals!”

“But my kingdom!” cried out Seulgi

 

Irene was having none of it as she dragged Seulgi away. All Seulgi could do was sadly wave back to her subjects who were waving back

 

“I’ll be back,” mouthed Seulgi

“Oh don’t you even dare think about coming back here.” warned Irene

“Or not,” Seulgi thought

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The two were driving back, on a much more smoother trip thanks to fact that their manager was driving.

 

“Oh!” Seulgi said“ I made something for you!”
 

Seulgi reached into her pocket to retrieve a folded piece of paper for Irene. Expectedly, Irene opened the paper to only find a drawing of an egg with legs.

“Do you like it?” asked Seulgi

Normally, Irene would be weirded out by these sort of things, but she was just glad that her Seulgi was safe and happy.

“Seulgi,” Irene cried out  “ This is the most most beautiful egg with legs I’ve ever seen”