“Let me go” she said it almost like a whisper. 

I was dumbfounded. We were both sitting in the front sit of my car and the space seemed to get smaller and smaller.  I was anomalously focused to her. My brain couldn’t get rid off the words she just spit out. I could feel my heartbeat getting louder, aching. My eyes getting blurry by this liquid called tears. 

“I can’t” I said, trying to hold back my tears. 
My chest was throbbing and I could feel my mouth shaking. I clenched my teeth.

No, hold it. I told myself. 

“Solar, please. Let me go.”

I breakdown. Tears falling in my eyes. I cursed myself. I can’t hold this anymore. I looked at her with pleading eyes, she looked at me with pity. 

“Do you love me? “ “Yes, more than you imagined” she said as her hand intertwined with mine. 

We stayed in this position, eyes locked with each other while I was silently wishing this moment will last long. 

“I’m begging you to stay” I said between my sobs. 

“You know I can’t. You have to let go, you have to move on. I don’t want you to suffer.”

But I can’t, it’s too much for me to do. She let go her hand and said it again, this time her voice fading. 

“Please, move on.”

I could feel my heart exploding as this nightmare devouring me. I clenched my teeth, turned my hand to fist and punched the stirring wheel as hard as I could, hoping it will take away the pain but I know it’s no use.

I looked back to the girl beside me, but she was gone. I breakdown for the second time, weeping by her depart. I’ve been thinking of reasons why it has to be her, why it has to be my Byul. 

I’m sorry Byul, but I couldn’t just move on. I can’t forget you. I can’t let you go. Because forever and always, I will still  love you.