Seokjin never felt wrong or out of place. The feeling of not belonging is just vaguely familiar to him – but his ability to adapt, along with a lifetime of following the rules imposed by both his family and the school environment, always allowed him to live without ever coming off as an unappropriate.

The first time he ever feels as if he's making a real mistake is when he calls the number that a talent scout gracefully scribbled on his own business card, before almost forcing it into his pocket – allowing him to pass over the “boring selections” and showing up to the office of his agency. According to him, he stands out far too much to waste his life behind a desk, or attending acting classes.

The audition is a disaster, but Seokjin has an hunch that it's not entirely his fault. Maybe he wants too much from a world that wants to give him too little – maybe it's the system that frightens him, maybe it's not what he needs at all; anyway, when he bows exiting the office, for the first time in his life he thinks he's made a mistake way too big to be fixed without shuffling everything back in its place, without building and analysing his priorities and objectives back from the start.

The interview showed him exactly what he had suspected for a long time: there's more than grades and compliments from his teachers – and whatever it is, Seokjin can't help but long for it. He can't help himself from making mistakes, again and again, until he finds the answer to that newborn question.

He hits the peak of inadequacy – more than hitting it himself, he is completely annihilated by it – the day he finally signs the contract with BigHit Entertainement. His father stares at the stack of paper with a familiar, stern look – reading every condition without saying a single word for a time that feels infinite. Seokjin would rather have him lash out on him; fury is easier to deal with than silence.

Finally, he straightens up the paper and pushes it back towards his side of the desk, evaluating his read. - It's a small agency. -, is his opening line. Seokjin knows he's holding back, he has learned to read between the lines; what his father means is: “It's an agency on the verge of ba