Their ‘usual spot' was nothing more than a drama-like cliché hide-out for couples—out by the banks of Han River, with a full view of the bridge and soothing sounds of the waves. Jaehwan couldn't pinpoint how or when exactly it became a special place for Daniel and himself, but he did remember that it was where Daniel had silently cried on his shoulder for what felt like hours after Jisung's military enlistment.

Jaehwan fixed his gaze on the bright coloured lights decorating the bridge across him. Huh Gak's emotional ballad Only You was playing from his phone, setting a rather sentimental mood, especially when he recalled that the song's music video featured an old friend of his. Seongwu was still as close to him as he was three years ago; in fact, they were going to see each other for lunch that Saturday. It was the memory that hurt, the remembrance that Seongwu starred in the music video as Wanna One's Seongwu. Not soloist and rising actor Ong Seongwu, the independent celebrity he was now.

Truthfully, not a day passed where Jaehwan didn't thank his lucky stars for the big break Produce 101 had blessed him with. Not just for his own success, he was grateful on his brothers' behalf as well. Although some of them had yet to make their official debut, it didn't stop them from receiving love calls to make an appearance as a cameo in a drama or a guest on a variety show. Like Kang Daniel, the second most influential public figure in South Korea of 2017, was still considered a trainee yet the nation adored him like the years never changed.

 "Jaeni?"

Speak of the devil. Jaehwan turned around upon hearing his endeared nickname called and immediately met eyes with a clearly exhausted Daniel. Even so, his best friend's warm smile went from ear to ear, reminding Jaehwan of the youthful and always energetic Daniel he had first met when they were both just twenty years old.

It was probably the lost, faraway look on Jaehwan's face that caused the drop of Daniel's lips, his cheery expression replaced by genuine concern. He sat down beside Jaehwan and comfortably slung an arm around the older's shoulder. He smiled again, only this time it was to assure him that whatever could be on Jaehwan's mind, Daniel was there.

Of course, Daniel's always been there.

 "It feels like it's been ages since I last you. Did you put on weight?" Daniel joked lightly to lift the atmosphere.

 "Very funny." Jaehwan muttered, holding up a palm against his naturally puffy cheek.

 "Anyways," Daniel chuckled. "What's up with you? I didn't expect you to miss me this soon after spending New Year's eve together."

Jaehwan paused the current song playing, his lips firmly pressed together, a lifelong habit that appeared whenever he was thinking too much or whenever something was greatly bugging him. Daniel recognised it, but he held back from commenting anything. He didn't want to push Jaehwan any further, though he had quite a strong feeling that he knew what this was all about.

Daniel would know because he felt the same way.

 "I miss us," Jaehwan's voice was soft. "I miss everything about us."

 "Me too." Daniel whispered.

 "I know it's been a year, it's been so long and I'm supposed to move on, but I just can't. I really can't."

 "Trust me, none of us can. Not even Sungwoon and Minhyun."

Ha Sungwoon and Hwang Minhyun shared one particular thing in common: they were both already debuted idols when they participated in Produce 101. Rather than to introduce themselves to the public, they joined the show as means to save their flopping careers—and it worked.

A small smile appeared on Jaehwan's face. "But I'm so happy that they got to go back to their families, you know. I just miss our family."

 "We're still a family. We still are, we always be. Nothing can change that." Daniel said sternly. The moment his gaze was diverted to the bridge, he heard a sniff. Immediately, he panicked and his first instinct was to pull Jaehwan into a tight, clumsy hug. Neither of them were big on physical affection, especially with each other, so it was rather awkward. But as silence crawled in, only accompanied by the sounds of Jaehwan's hiccups, they both knew they needed this.

 "I'm miserable, Niel," Jaehwan cried into his best friend's shoulder. "Sometimes I sit alone in my waiting room and I almost call out to you guys. It's not just that I'm used to having you around, I need you around. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't let go of Wanna One. I really can't."

Daniel had never seen Jaehwan like this; so crestfallen. It broke his heart, as if his heart wasn't broken already.

 "There's nothing wrong with you, what are you saying?" he calmly patted Jaehwan's shoulder, biting his lip to prevent his own tears from falling. "It's hard, it's very hard, but it's okay to feel the way you do, it's fine. It's totally fine. It's okay, buddy, it's okay."

Jaehwan found no strength to reply. They remained that way for a while, quiet and comfortable, Jaehwan in Daniel's loosening embrace. It was the coldest month of winter, yet at that exact time, they felt the warmest they had ever been. No words were exchanged; they simply appreciated one another's much needed company.

Unfortunately, their little alone time couldn't last very long. They were interrupted by the tiny beep of Daniel's phone. Said man reluctantly pulled his arms off Jaehwan, reaching for the phone inside his pocket with a sigh.

 "Sorry, Hwanie," Daniel's head dropped. "My manager's calling."

Jaehwan offered him a small smile, nodding. "Go. Do well, yeah?"

 "I will." Daniel got up, brushing the back of his trousers. "By the way, Jisung has a day off sometime around his birthday and will be coming home. How about the eleven of us meet up to celebrate? Just us, like old times."

 "I'd love that." Jaehwan's smile slightly widened.

As Daniel adjusted his coat and turned around to leave, Jaehwan tapped his leg.

 "Hey, Niel?"

 "What?"

 "Thanks," Jaehwan said softly. "And... I love you."

Daniel chuckled. "Isn't it too early in the morning for a confession?"

He ruffled Jaehwan's hair, something he used to do whenever Wanna One won first place on music show or whenever something exciting was awaiting them. Just like that, he didn't have to say I love you too for Jaehwan to know it.

 "I'll see you soon." Daniel promised, and with that, he was gone.

Jaehwan didn't leave right after Daniel. Instead, he sat by himself, watching the sky change its colours while the sun began to gradually appear. He closed his eyes, feeling the same pain that hit him just a couple of hours ago.

It was already a new day, but Daniel had left. He had none of the other boys with him. He was alone.