If Minhyun could turn back time, he'd go back to that snowy day when they were in their early twenties, eating ice cream in the middle of winter, wondering where life would take them. They were twenty-two then, and their relationship had just started when the year was about to end. The two had the stars in their eyes and the entire universe in the palm of their hands--or at least, that's what it felt like for the next two years (and eight months and twenty-seven days, but again, who's counting?).

Hwang Minhyun at 23 felt like he had his entire life figured out; felt like he was at the top of the world, especially since he had Jonghyun. Kim Jonghyun had been God's greatest gift to him since Swiffer and he'd be lying if he said he could imagine life without him. The two were a match made in heaven--everyone said they'd last a lifetime, that they'd last forever--what with Minhyun who never broke a promise and Jonghyun who never lied (at least to him).

If Jonghyun could turn back time, he'd go back to that summer when the two of them got their first job offers and celebrated in the niche restaurant they frequented back in college. they were twenty-four then, and contemplating about how their tastes don't suit adults as the two ordered fruit juices and chocolate frappes. "Do you think we'll be able to like coffee someday?" Jonghyun asked, taking a sip from his double chocolate frappe.

"Maybe, when we're old and full-fledged corporate slaves," Minhyun replies, chuckling into his glass of grapefruit punch.

"That won't be long then, huh?"

"Maybe next year? When we're 25?"

"Then what about wine?"

Minhyun chuckles once more, looking at Jonghyun in both contemplation and adoration. Was this how planning their future was like? Over how their taste buds would adapt to drinks? He purses his lips as he leans back, shrugging as he replied. "Maybe when we're 27 and crumbling under the weight of the world and societal expectations."

"Good answer. Guess that would put whiskey at past 30? I don't think I'll be ready for whiskey even with the Earth shattering at my feet and my future turning bleak."

It was then that Minhyun couldn't reply, the smile on his face disappearing as he hums, taking another sip from his drink. Jonghyun noticed the shift in the atmosphere, chewing on his bottom lip as he leant forward to grab his drink, humming softly. The two of them at 22 could imagine them at 25. The two of them at 25 could imagine them at 27. The two of them, however, couldn't imagine anything more. Twenty-five was supposedly the prime of their lives; twenty-seven was still young, they were still okay. But at thirty, they'd be old. They would've lost their youth and the courage that went along with it at thirty; they'd be at an age where youth couldn't overcome everything, and they couldn't imagine that.

--

Jonghyun was still in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner when he noticed how Minhyun's been hovering near the kitchen counter since he'd put Seonhwa to sleep (they planted new flowers in the garden of their kindergarten that day and he was beyond exhausted when they got home--the boy had almost fallen asleep while eating, too).

"Do you need something?" He asked, lips pursed and brows furrowed as he looked back at the man pacing behind him.

They had three weeks--or rather, two and a half--and the two still didn't know how to approach anything. They'd shared more kisses and more nights in bed over the past two months after ghosting each other for God knows how long (Jonghyun had stopped counting by the fifth month, and Minhyun never bothered) and the internal turmoil Minhyun was going through as they became more and more domestic was apparent in Jonghyun's eyes.

"W...when will you start packing?" Minhyun managed, biting his inner cheeks as he waited for the other's response.

"Minhyun, if you want us to leave earlier than planned, we can, you know. Just give me a two-day heads up, at least."

"N-no! T-that's not....that's not what I meant."

Jonghyun put the dishes in the drying rack, wiping his hands on the hand towel draped over his shoulder as he turned to face Minhyun, a sigh escaping his lips as he rested against the kitchen sink, arms crossed.

"This just....it just has to stop, Jonghyun," Minhyun continued, eyes blinking at what seemed like mach speed.

"What does?"

"This," he replies, gesturing to the both of them, his tone fluctuating as he continued to speak. "We can't get back into this, you know that. We're not....it's not....."

"I get it," Jonghyun huffs, cutting him off. "It's not like I expected us to get back together, Minhyun. Calm down."

"No, just," he sighs, burying his face in his hands, taking deep breaths before continuing. "I can't fall in love with you aga