(Sana wishes she could say she had fully remembered it, the first she and Momo had fought. Had really and truly fought.

Sana wishes she could say that it had even been at the forefront of her mind. 

Only, she had been in the middle of her exam season and her residency. She’d been unwillingly unburdened with the responsibility of being, for all intents and purposes, Mina’s  nurse, and tasked with finishing the final stages of her course to take on the role completely.

Even now, Sana wishes she could say it had been at the forefront of her mind, the deafening silence between her and Momo - the longest they haven’t spoken in the decades they’ve known each other. The looming deadlines and the tediousness of her work had proved to be an effective distraction from her worries and thoughts, until she received a call from Jeongyeon herself, Sana rushing out of her apartment door before Jeongyeon had told her anything was wrong.

“She’s stable now.” Her temporary replacement is the one to greet her, only barely stopping Sana from bursting into the room herself. The grip she has around her necklace loosens only then, giving Sana a moment to catch her breath and catch a sleepy Mina peering curiously through the gap in the half-open door. She waves off the other nurse’s feeble excuses, the relief she feels turning to ice as Momo steps into view, pulling the door open completely. “But she wouldn’t stop looking for you-.”

In that moment, Sana tries to remember how she let the situation go as far as she did.

In that moment, Sana tries not to remember how she had seen Momo, alight with hushed laughter, dragged into the neighbouring apartment by none other than Park Jihyo herself. How she’d been turning a blind eye to the truth waggling so blatantly before her. 

Their confrontation had been anything but brief, hissed before classes and between Momo’s next shift, resulting in a split plate in the sink and a slice of blood on Momo’s palm. Sana had left her to tend with it herself, their silence electric and lingering, even to this day.

In that moment, however, Sana chooses to forget. She nods her thanks to the rambling nurse, young as she was, eyes only on Mina as she sinks into the hospital sheets, the door closing behind her and Momo. Jeongyeon is seated on the chair beside the bed, seeming to be on the phone with Mina’s parents if her sombre Japanese was anything to go by.

“I’m sorry.” Mina’s apology dissolves into a few coughs, but Sana can only shush her, brushing her bangs away from her forehead. Mina is blessedly quiet as Sana presses a tender kiss to her forehead, and her eyes are already closed once Sana has pulled back, perching herself on the other side of Mina’s bed.

“Sleep now,” Sana murmurs, thumb tracing over the flushed apple of Mina’s cheek before she settles her hand into Mina’s loose and waiting grip - the one unoccupied by Jeongyeon’s.

In that moment, in the quiet drone of Jeongyeon’s phone conversation and the rattle of Mina’s drowsy breaths, Sana can’t help but remember.

She gives a tired Mina’s hand a final squeeze as Jeongyeon finishes her call, Mina’s eyes blinking open once more at the sound of her goodbyes. Sana opts to give the two a moment of privacy, opts to give her own heart a break, opts to ignore Momo as she follows her outside, the door clicking shut behind them.

“This isn’t your fault, you know.” Momo’s voice is low, a quiet rumble from her perch by the only entrance into the room. Her suit jacket is wrinkled, likely from the rush to get Mina to the hospital. 

Sana can only purse her lips, and is only reminded of the fact that this has been the longest they haven’t spoken to each other in years. “I should have been the one keeping an eye on her.”

Momo draws her attention again as she scoffs out a laugh, Sana taking in how tightly her arms are crossed over her chest. Momo’s phone buzzes in her hand, but the older woman pays it no mind. She’s too tense, worried, eyes never leaving the shallow rise and fall of Mina’s chest., visible through the small window in the door. “I think that’s supposed to be my line.”

There’s another bout of unbearable silence, but Mina seems to be sleeping deeply, soundly, under the watchful eye of her doting, devoted wife. She wonders if Jeongyeon would have called her at all if Mina hadn’t asked her to. “Does Mina know?”

The question leaves her before she can help herself, almost lost in the busy drone of the hospital around them. She and Momo are both silent for another beat, with Sana watching Jeongyeon brush Mina’s hair away from her face, her ring glinting in the low light. Sana averts her gaze, curling a finger back into the one hanging from her neck.

“There’s nothing to know,” Momo answers finally, and Sana tries not to think about it, the fact that this is the first time Momo has ever lied to her in all her years of knowing her. “Whatever you think you saw, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“This is serious.” The eyes that meet her own are haunting - all so familiar and yet, belonging to a person she hardly seems to know. She straightens her back, unwilling to bend under its weight. “If you have something going on with Jihyo, why don’t you just-.”

“I don’t.” Momo is quick to cut her off, voice firm and insistent, as tight as the grip on her phone as Jihyo’s name flashes across the screen. Sana would have found it funny if it hadn’t seemed so cruel. “I promise.”)

"Sana…"

Her name doesn't sound as if it is her own, then.

None of it feels real then.

Sana swears she feels every inch of it beneath her fingertips, against the palm of her hand. The warmth of her skin, the plush of her cheek - the same cheek she's cradled so many times before.

The same face that's haunted her for years and years.

There is nothing short of a ruckus in the beat that follows her strike, but Sana can hardly hear any of it over the sound of her own heartbeat, ringing in her ears. Sana can hardly even see any of it, over the shimmer in her own eyes, shiny with tears the woman before her didn't deserve.

(The reality of Momo's death had settled quickly and completely for Sana. It had been a single moment, in the single utterance of her name, falling from the lips of one who didn't know better.

The quiet of their afternoon in the lush greens of Jeongyeon and Mina's gardens shatters as quickly as the glass that hits the floor, the red of Mina's juice staining the stone beneath her. 

Her hands are shaking.

The whole world seems to be, Sana thinks, as she drops to her knees, fussing over shattered crystal and the red that now stains her hands.

Her hands are bleeding.

It is only then that Sana realises her hands are bleeding, trembling terribly along with her breaths. It is only then that she realises that Mina's hands are surrounding her own, surprisingly steady, the childish confusion in Dahyun's voice ringing through Sana's ears. Jeongyeon hushes her, but it's of little consolation now, those few simple words carving out the part of her that she'd kept to herself in light of Momo's passing.

Does Auntie Momo miss us from heaven, too?

"Hey." Mina's voice is quiet, gentle, coaxing her consciousness through the rapid beating of her own heart. From the speeding race of her own breath. Her hand trembles against the hollow of Mina's chest, fingertips bloody against the scar beneath her touch. Mina's eyes are comforting, even now, and Sana wonders if she knows her as well as she thinks she does. "Look at me, okay? Breathe with me."

Sana would have laughed, finding herself in this situation, if it wasn't for the crushing weight she feels in her chest, the crushing longing she feels in her limbs. She can hardly recognise herself, the anguish in her own voice as a sob bubbles to the surface, crumbling under Mina's touch.

She can feel it, too, the tremble in Mina's breath, right beneath her touch, in her shoulders as Sana's tears soak against it. As she takes Sana into her arms, as Sana mourns, so viciously and so suddenly, over the gaping loss of someone who had been by her side for longer than even Mina.

"It's okay," Mina tells her, even though it's not, and Sana wills herself to believe it, the quiver in Mina's voice echoing the words she'd told her herself. "I've got you. I'm here.")
 

"You're here." Sana's voice is soft, breathless, the disbelief plain even in the ruckus that she's stirred.

("You're here." Sana's voice is soft as she sighs into Momo's shoulder, cheeks flush with laughter, her warmth seeping into the hand she slips into Momo's. Jihyo clears behind her. Sana doesn't think to ask. Momo doesn't think to explain. "Come on. Mina won't blow out her candles without you.")

It feels worse, somehow, hearing those words, hearing her voice. It feels worse than the ringing in her ear and the stinging of her cheek and the ache in her bottom lip - split, from the way Jihyo is fussing over it. Split, from the way Jihyo's voice rises, from the way Momo has to grab her hand to stop from stepping any closer.

In that moment, Momo wishes only to collapse into herself, especially when she lifts her gaze to meet Sana's. Even in all of the moments Momo had spent wishing, waiting and dreaming of seeing Sana again, Momo never dared to imagine the look that would be in her eyes. The sheer venom in the glint of the light. The blatant disbelief. The unspeakable betrayal.

She had spent over a decade dreaming of this single moment. She had spent over a decade, stolen away in darkness, in shadows, waiting for a moment to stand before Sana. Her sister. Her soulmate . She had spent over a decade, mustering up the tiniest amount of courage, to finally apologise, to finally explain. To tell her that, out of everyone, she'd missed her the most.

Irrevocably. Irresponsibly.

Momo can't seem to find any of those words, now, in the barely contained rage that radiates from the woman standing before her. She feels every bit a coward, in the grit of Jeongyeon's teeth as she tries to restrain Sana.

"Sana," She manages, voice caught in , sounding as pathetic as she felt. "Please let me explain."

Momo wishes she could say it didn't hurt her, the way Sana flinches back at the sound of her voice, at the way Momo steps forwards, hands open, eyes pleading. Momo wishes she could say it didn't hurt her, as Sana lashes out once more, fists connecting easily with her shoulders, with her chest, willing her to feel the ache beneath her touch.

Momo wishes she could unhear it, the shattered sob that tears through Sana's chest as her fists burrow into Momo's sleep-wrinkled shirt. As she spits out words that only cut deeper after all these years.

"You should have stayed dead ."

In all the years that Momo had known her, Sana had been right about many different things.

In the thunderous click of Sana's heels storming down the hall, Momo can only swallow down her tears and wonder if maybe, Sana had been right about that, too.

"Sana." Jeongyeon's voice is harsh now, grating through her ears, through the pounding inside her head, with a touch of desperation that Sana has never heard from the other woman. "Sana, please . Not here."

Sana is aware, vaguely, of the looks they're garnering in the midst of Sana's rightful rampage. In the midst of Jeongyeon's quiet pleading. She doesn't justify the older woman with an answer, jabbing a finger against the elevator button and setting her jaw as Jeongyeon steps into the blessedly empty space with her.

"Sana," Jeongyeon tries again, as if it will placate her, as if it will quell the rising anger she feels swirling within her chest. As if it will brush away the years and years of deception that she had lulled them through. As if it will absolve her from the pain she had dragged Mina through, for less.

How long had she known?

Sana can hardly stomach it, her head spinning with the whirlwind of events that she finds herself swept up in. She doesn't answer her, and Jeongyeon is wise to choose not to speak again, not until they reach the rooftop, the wind and the sound of the city whipping around her ears. 

An ambulance wails beneath them.

It pales, still, to the red she feels clouding her vision, twisting around to face Jeongyeon and her sorrowful eyes. The slump of surrender in her shoulders. Sana musters it up, the last of the affection and sanity she still holds within her for Jeongyeon. 

"You have five minutes.” Sana spits out, squeezing her hands by her side to refrain from striking anyone else today. Her hands still shake, aching still from being in contact with Momo's skin.

(“You have five minutes.”

Dahyun has run off now, her younger sister tucked safely in the circle of her arms, a giggling Tzuyu clutching her too big party hat close to her head. In that moment, the world seems to tip into correctness, Sana happily, selfishly, drinking in the sight before her - a somewhat hesitant Dahyun stepping into her waiting mother's trembling embrace.

Jeongyeon stands beside her, shoulders tight and jaw held even tighter, turned away from the scene before her. It only coats Sana's tongue with bitterness, even as she lifts her phone to capture it, the sheer joy shared between Mina and her children on Dahyun's special day.

How could the pictures she'd taken truly capture the sparkle in Mina's eyes as she watches Dahyun dote over her younger sister. How could a shaky video in her hands compare to the sound of Tzuyu's bright laughter, twinkling across the room, Mina's hands steady as she pressed lingering kisses to her daughters' heads.

Sana's stomach turns as Jeongyeon does, voice gruff as she announces that her five minutes are over. Her steps are almost mechanical as she goes to separate them, darkness seeming to seep into the room as Mina steps away, breath hitching as Dahyun's hand slips out of her own.

"Can't she stay just a little longer?" Dahyun is the one to ask, but the firm shake of Jeongyeon's head is enough to extinguish the brief flash of hope in the young girl's eyes. 

Sana almost flinches as the door clicks open, the bright sunshine almost mocking as it beckons Mina from the home she used to call her own. There is a quiet kind of violence, Sana thinks, in the quiet of Mina's birthday greeting. In the tremble of her smile as Tzuyu, bundled into Dahyun's arms, murmurs up to her sister in confusion as the lock of the door clicks, cutting off the last of Mina's goodbyes.

"Go on," Jeongyeon urges tightly, keenly avoiding her daughter's gaze as she presses her fingertips against her shoulder. "Your friends are waiting for you outside."

Dahyun opens briefly, as if to speak, as if to spite her, but turns away instead. Sana wonders if there really was anything left to be said, the rumble of Nayeon's car sounding over the soft steps Dahyun takes to go outside, her baby sister in tow.

"How can you keep doing this to her?" Sana is the one to speak as they're left alone, left in the shadow of the foyer of a home she'd once known like the back of her hand, too. "How can you bear it?"

"Is this really the best time to be talking about this, Sana?" Jeongyeon's voice is steady, remarkably so. And yet, it carries a different kind of exhaustion, the only kind of exhaustion that comes with seeing your ex-wife arriving with her new daughter, her new family. The only kind of exhaustion that comes with turning that same wife away, her new daughter's laughter filling up a home that now sat cold, and empty. Emptier than it ever should have been. "Is this where you tell me whose side you're on?"

"I'm not here to pick sides, Jeongyeon, you're my friend," Sana breathes out, refusing to flinch at the prickle of Jeongyeon's words, chosen all too carefully to try and drive her away, too. She takes a few steps closer, closing her eyes at the shuddering breath Jeongyeon releases against her shoulder as Sana wraps an arm around the older woman, her free hand curling around the trembling fist of Jeongyeon's. Sana tries not to think about the coolness of Jeongyeon's wedding band as she musters up the courage to speak. "Mina deserves-"

"What does Mina deserve?" Jeongyeon bites out, her forehead resting against Sana's shoulder. Sana tries not to think about the scalding heat of Jeongyeon's tears as it soaks through the fabric of her shirt. The venom in her voice, curling around a name she'd once spoken with nothing but adoration. "Mina made her choice, Sana. Mina deserves none of this. Not anymore."

Sana swallows down the lump rising in her own throat at the defeated breath that passes through Jeongyeon's lips, as Jeongyeon shrugs away from her, as if her heart wasn't breaking in the palms of her hands. "This isn't fair, and you know it."

Jeongyeon only scoffs, brushing her tears away and shouldering past her, already the image of Yoo Jeongyeon, model mother. "Nothing is fair about this, Sana. We all have to live with that.")

"Sana."

Jeongyeon wishes she could say she had been prepared, even remotely, for this day to come. Jeongyeon wishes she could say she hadn't been plagued with nightmares of the same look Sana is giving her right now - a look of disdain, of hurt, of betrayal.  The same look that had her searching for answers at the bottom of endless wine bottles. 

The same look that almost has her searching for those same bottles, now.

"Your time is running up," Sana reminds her, sounding as if she doesn't even know the woman standing before her. As if they haven't shared tears and laughter and love and hurt for decades, now. Jeongyeon supposes that perhaps, Sana really didn’t know who she was, after all.

Jeongyeon wishes she could say it doesn't sting, the way Sana flinches away from her touch, from her approach, arms wound so tightly around herself that Jeongyeon wonders if it hurts. Wonder if it could hurt any more than what she's discovered. Wonders if it could hurt any more than the trembling words Jeongyeon is about to offer her.

"I'm sorry." It's all she manages, in the turmoil of her heart and her mind, curling her own arms around herself, fingers digging near desperately into her sides. 

"You're sorry ," Sana echoes, her laughter as empty as the hollow of Jeongyeon's chest, every word lancing through Jeongyeon's already wounded heart. "You're ing sorry ? That's all you have to say after I find you involved with the very woman that ruined your marriage? That's all you have to say after I find that you've been harbouring our supposedly dead best friend under your wing this whole time? No, Jeongyeon, you."

"We never meant for you to find out like this," Jeongyeon tries, willing herself to meet Sana's furious gaze, shrinking at the fire behind those bright, bright eyes. We never meant for you to find out at all, Jeongyeon wants to spit out, but knows it will only cause her more harm than good. "Momo wanted to tell her-."

"Don't say her name," Sana cuts her off in a whisper, the fire in her eyes immediately extinguished at the name of the woman they had all mourned over. A woman that was supposed to be dead . There is a beat, Sana's jaw tight as she finds the words she wants to say. "How long have you known?"

At that moment, Jeongyeon wishes she could take it all back. 

At that moment, Jeongyeon wishes she hadn't been such a coward. Jeongyeon wishes she had told her, had told Mina, had mustered up the courage to protect her marriage rather than ruin it with her own lies, with her own secrets. Wishes she could tell Mina that it hadn't been her fault, not completely. That she had seen her try, that she had known all this while that she had loved her. 

Of course Mina loved her.

In that moment, as Sana steps forward and grasps at her shoulders, desperation at the edge of her words, Jeongyeon wishes and wishes, for moments and chances she'd tarnished with her own hands.

"Since the beginning," She whispers, closing her eyes at the way Sana's nails dig into her arms. Her hands shake and her breath trembles, another soft sob leaving her lips. "Momo called me. She was desperate - Chaeyoung was dying ."

("I need you," Momo begs, Jeongyeon trying to avert her gaze from the woman practically on her knees before her. "Please.")

"God," Sana breathes out, her head falling against Jeongyeon's shoulder, leaving Jeongyeon to bear the weight of her tears, of her hurt, of the sudden exhaustion that dawns upon them both. " God , Jeongyeon, how could you have done this to her? To hide her own daughter from her!"

"What are you talking about?" A jolt spikes through Jeongyeon at Sana's words, her brows furrowed in confusion as she draws herself back, regarding Sana through her own watery gaze. "What does Mina have to do with this? Momo was the one who carried Chaeyoung, using Jihyo's embryos."

In that moment, the world seems to still once more, as Sana levels her with a rattled gaze of her own, letting Jeongyeon's words settle into the canyon of space between them. Jeongyeon can only watch as Sana composes herself, shaking her head in disbelief, murmuring her assumptions that it had been Jihyo to carry Chaeyoung.

"That's impossible," Sana tells her, plainly and simply, suddenly approaching her with folders and files she's rummaged from her bag, leaving a startled Jeongyeon to read the words herself. To drink in the covert pictures of Jihyo, of Chaeyoung, accumulated through what must have been weeks of work now on Sana's end. A single page sends an icy chill quivering down her spine, taking the page itself to read the words over and over and over again, as if it would change the words typed plainly for her to see. 

…practically proven that Myoui Mina is the biological mother of Son Chaeyoung.

Jeongyeon can only let out a breath, the world tipping back into chaos as she tries to navigate through the flood of questions rushing into her mind. None of it made any sense, and the implications of Momo carrying a child for Mina only has her stumbling towards the side of the rooftop entrance, emptying the meagre contents of her stomach onto stone. 

Why would Mina have hidden it from her? Why else would Mina have hidden it from her?

Jeongyeon feels the hand on her back, distantly, the worry in Sana's voice muffled in her ears. Was Chaeyoung…?

"Jeongyeon?" Sana's handkerchief flashes in the corner of her eyes, but Jeongyeon waves it off, dragging the back of her hand against with one final shudder. 

"I…" She straightens, eyes and head still swimming, the concern in Sana's eyes retreating back behind the steel of her anger. "What are we going to do?"

Sana seems disarmed by the question, and Jeongyeon wishes, just this once, that Sana would have the answers, too. She can only in a soft breath as Sana shakes her head, a heaviness with the weight of the world now settling over her shoulders, too. "I can't let anything else happen to Mina, Jeongyeon, not until I know that this isn't all for nothing."

"I know," Jeongyeon whispers, eyes catching the glint of Sana's necklace, and the simple band that hangs at the end of it. In that moment, Jeongyeon feels closer to Sana than she has in years, now burdened with a secret that could kill the woman they loved, achingly. Tirelessly. "I know."

Jeongyeon doesn't return.

And, even as Jihyo eases her back into the seat beside Chaeyoung with her ringing ears and aching lip, neither does Sana.

They're only visited, minutes later, by a quiet nurse who does nothing more than check on Chaeyoung once more. Who regards her and Jihyo with barely restrained curiosity as she leaves the room, leaving them to sit in their screaming silence.

Momo can hardly blame them, can hardly expect them to return after a confrontation like that - a confrontation that is enough to leave Momo drained and Jihyo silent, for now at least. She regards her girlfriend with the same, stoic silence, even as Jihyo tends her to lip, no longer bleeding.

"This will bruise," Jihyo speaks, softly, haltingly, thumb brushing over the stinging swell of her cheek. Ever tender, ever affectionate, and yet Momo can hardly place a finger on her thoughts. Can hardly wade through the sudden murkiness in Jihyo's wide, knowing eyes.

"It hurts," Momo agrees, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips despite herself. The look of disbelief that Jihyo sends her only draws a laugh from Momo's chest, surely looking as if she was losing the plot. 

"What could you possibly be laughing about?" Jihyo breathes out, cupping Momo's face gently, careful not to aggravate her throbbing cheek. "Don't tell me she hit you that hard."

Momo can only shake her head, sinking into Jihyo's touch and placing a hand over hers, the last of her laughter tapering off. She settles into the imploring gaze that Jihyo gives her, thumb brushing over Jihyo's soft skin. "In all the years that I've been Mina's bodyguard, no one's even come close to hitting me. Only those two. It feels familiar."

A small smile tugs at the edges of Jihyo's mouth, too, letting her forehead rest against Momo's. In that moment, Momo feels like a child again - invincible. As if they would never get caught. "Is this about the time Mina gave you a bloody nose in her sleep?"

Momo huffs out another small laugh, eyes closing at the memory brought upon by Jihyo's simple words. It was no surprise to her that Mina, or even Sana, would have told her about it, their lives having been so closely intertwined it was hard to tell any of them from the other. Momo wishes it could have been that easy, even now.

"She used to have nightmares," Momo murmurs, her eyes flickering to the sight of their slumbering daughter, to the steady rise and fall of her chest. Her free hand reaches over to take one of Chaeyoung's, soothed by the gentle warmth radiating from her skin. "Of endless, endless water."

"I remember," Jihyo whispers, seemingly plagued by her own memories, the thumb brushing against Momo's skin pausing, if only for a moment. "She was the best swimmer out of all of us. She hated it."

"Chaeyoung has them too," Momo tells her, softly, quietly, divulging a secret her own daughter had left her to carry. "She told me she has them whenever something big is coming up, like a move or her first day." She lets out a short laugh. "Maybe Chaeyoung's subconscious was giving her a sign about all of this.”

“Another thing they have in common then,” Jihyo jests, letting Momo take her hand away from her cheek to settle on her lap between them instead. Her eyes are on Chaeyoung too, she knows - their own pride and joy. The one good thing, Momo supposes, to have come out of all of the secrecy, all of the lies that they’d built their tiny kingdom upon. Momo lifts Chaeyoung’s hand up to her lips as Jihyo sighs, her hand tight around Momo’s own. “We have to go.”

Momo lets out a soft hum against Chaeyoung’s lightly tanned skin, turning her head to regard the woman she had loved enough to leave her life behind. To leave everything behind. Had she really left anything behind? “Where would we go?”

“Anywhere,” Jihyo whispers, afraid to shatter the quiet that has settled over the room, afraid to shatter the carefully crafted peace they had cast over them. It seemed impossible now, with Sana finally on their trail. Momo knew better than anybody that Sana never stopped - that she could never be stopped. “Anywhere but here.”

Momo closes her eyes for a moment, and wishes it could be that easy. How could they even think of disappearing now, now that Sana knows that she’s alive. Now that Mina might know that she’s alive, alive and frolicking about with the only other woman who has broken her heart. Momo knows it would break her to know. Momo knows it would break her if she didn’t. “We can’t run away anymore, Ji.”

“We’ve been running the whole time,” Jihyo jokes, voice weak, her eyes shimmering when Momo finally opens her own. In the sea she finds herself drowning in, Momo wishes they could, wishes they could run and run and run forever, happy and hiding and pretending that everything was still okay. As if any of it had ever been okay. “Can’t we run a little longer?”

“Aren’t you tired, Ji?” Momo finds herself asking. Finds herself lacing her fingers through Jihyo’s own, tracing her thumb over her knuckles, over the shimmering stones of the ring adorning Jihyo’s slender finger. “Don’t you think it’s finally time for us to rest?”

“Do you really think we’ll be able to?” Jihyo counters, dipping her head to meet Momo’s gaze, eyes swimming with questions that Momo still didn’t have the answer to, even after all these years. Momo can only tip forward, pressing a tender kiss to Jihyo’s soft lips, drinking in the shudder of her breath and the steady beep beep beep ing of her daughter’s lifeline.

“We have to try.”

("You'll wake her with all of your thinking."

Sana in a soft breath at the sound of Mina's hushed voice, leaning into the lingering kiss Mina presses against her cheek, the hand that settles into the small of her back. Tzuyu sleeps, tiny in the circle of Sana's arms, her finger trapped in her gentle grasp.

"I feel like if I close my eyes she'll disappear," Sana admits, voice low. Her eyes flicker towards Mina, beautiful even in the warm glow of Tzuyu's nightlight, the adoration she had for their daughter plain on her face. "That this will all disappear."

"She won't." Mina is gentle, but firm, shifting to meet her gaze. Shifting to press another kiss to her temple, letting Sana feel the flutter of her breath. Letting Tzuyu settle even further into her arms - there, and surely so. A smile against her skin. "You're kind of stuck with Tzuyu, Nayeon and I."

If Mina notices the tears at the edge of Sana's laughter, she doesn't say anything, dropping a kiss to the corner of her lips. "I wouldn't have it any other way.")

“Is everything okay, Ahma?” 

Sana wishes she hadn’t looked so startled, her hands stilling in the midst of combing through Tzuyu’s silky hair. She’s quick to hide her own restlessness, curling a hand around the nape of Tzuyu’s neck and pressing a tender kiss to the crown of her head. Tzuyu lets out a sleepy noise at her actions, tucking herself further into Sana’s arms, head nestled into the crook of Sana’s neck.

“I’m sorry to worry you,” Sana reassures gently, raking in the desperate turmoil aching to escape at the tips of her fingers. Clearly she hadn’t been as upbeat as she had hoped when she’d picked Tzuyu and Dahyun back up from Mina’s hospital room. Dahyun had been too occupied with helping Tzuyu with her homework, but Tzuyu (and Mina) had noticed right away when she hadn’t given them her usual kisses upon returning. “Ahma’s just been busy with a lot of things. I guess I haven’t been getting a lot of rest.”

Tzuyu pulls back at that, eyes wide and earnest, and Sana has to hush her with a few kisses to her forehead, urging her to rest back against her chest. She feels Tzuyu squirm with a soft whine, and Sana can’t help the laugh that bubbles in her chest, nosing against her sweet-smelling hair. Tzuyu lets out a stubborn harrumph against her chest, but settles, curling her fingers into the fabric of Sana’s shirt. “Do you wanna sleep with me tonight, Ahma?”

"That sounds lovely." Sana hears the click of the front door, the monotone sound of their alarm system sounding through Tzuyu’s half open bedroom door, the rattle of Nayeon’s work shoes as she sets them into the rack. She hums, traces a thumb over Tzuyu’s ear and presses one final kiss to the top of her head. She cradles the younger girl closer to her chest for another moment before settling her into her bed. “I’ll be back as soon as I check on your Mom, okay?”

“Okay,” Tzuyu murmurs, giving her a sleepy dimpled smile and curling into the plush Sana tucks into her arms. “Love you Ahma. Give Mom a kiss for me.”

“I will,” Sana promises, taking a moment to watch Tzuyu’s eyes flutter to a close before she turns her attention to the footsteps she can hear down the hallway. A lone spectator lingers in the doorway. She’s quiet for a moment, taking in the sight of Nayeon gazing upon their daughter, a hand settled over her stomach. “Ready to cash in your kiss already?”

A small smile pulls at the corner of Nayeon’s lips, Sana padding across the room to join her at the doorway. Nayeon takes another moment to linger, her hair still up in her messy work bun, her work shirt untucked from her neatly pressed pants. Sana presses a light kiss to the pink of her cheek and gives her hand an even lighter squeeze, letting Nayeon drink their daughter in for a little longer. “I didn’t get to make dinner.”

“That’s okay,” Nayeon tells her, letting her eyes slip to a close, her forehead bumping against Sana’s shoulder for just a moment. Sana gives her hand another squeeze. “She waited up?”

“She did her best.” Nayeon lets out a soft sigh, letting Sana pull her through the quiet halls of their home. It’s a dreadful quiet, even in the light of the news Nayeon had given her earlier. Sana hates it - tainting such wonderful news with the things she’s discovered. 

Sana wonders if she should even tell her.

Sana wonders if she could bear not to.

Nayeon is quiet - blessedly, suspiciously - as Sana bustles around the kitchen, warming up the takeout she had set aside for the doctor. It's comforting now, rather than strange, weathering the silence between her and Nayeon. There is a familiar sort of rhythm now, in the weeks they’ve been trying to cope in a home without Mina. In the muffled tap of the plate against the placemats. In the gentle clink of Nayeon’s chopsticks and the bump of Nayeon’s feet against her own under the table. 

“Is this your usual protocol?” Nayeon speaks, softly but suddenly, setting her empty glass of water down on her coaster. “Feed a pretty girl dinner before you give her some bad news?”

("So," Miyeon smiles, as sweetly as she always does, eyes warm and knowing. "You're breaking up with me, huh?")

Sana would let out a laugh at Nayeon’s words if her stomach didn’t twist at the mere reminder, choosing to stay quiet as she collects Nayeon’s dishes, heading towards the sink. She can feel Nayeon’s eyes on her back as she moves. Can hear the scrape of Nayeon’s chair as Nayeon settles in beside her, a patterned rag in hand.

Sana doesn’t speak, not yet.

Not until Nayeon has shut the cupboard door. Not until Nayeon has turned to face her, a hand reaching for her own. Sana wishes she knew where to start. Sana wishes she didn’t have to start at all.

“Momo is alive. Jihyo, too.” A hitch in Nayeon’s breath. The hand around her own tightens, the other coming around to curl around the nape of her neck, drawing her in against the firm of Nayeon’s shoulder. Another breath. The press of Nayeon’s lips against her temple. “Jeongyeon knew. Jeongyeon's known this whole time."

Sana feels the edges of Nayeon’s anger then, in the tips of her fingers as they dig into her skin, in the tight line of her jaw and the curse that falls from her lips. She can feel it, the tremble of her breath against Sana’a skin, the resentment on the tip of her tongue. “How did you find out?”

“I saw her,” Sana whispers, lifting a hand to curl into the crisp white of Nayeon’s shirt. “Talking to Jihyo. Momo walked out of the hospital room.”

“They’re at the hospital?” Nayeon rushes out, pulling back to look at her, shimmering eyes ablaze with a rage Sana had never even dreamed of witnessing. “The same hospital that Mina is staying in right now? That hospital?” 

“Yes.” Sana releases another shuddering breath, feeling this twisted news clawing deeply into her stomach. She can feel Nayeon’s hand shake against her skin. “They can’t leave.”

“Can’t leave ?” Nayeon’s voice is thunderous now, shattering the quiet that had settled over their kitchen as she tears away from Sana, pacing relentlessly across the tiles. Sana casts a brief glance to the open doorway, Nayeon in a quivering breath as she follows her gaze, taking a moment to listen if Tzuyu had awoken. Her voice lowers, levelling Sana with a stern look. “Give me one good reason I can’t just go and drag them out of that hospital right now. The nerve that they have to do that and just-“

“Mina’s will was right.” Nayeon’s silence is thunderous, now. Sana closes her eyes for a moment, letting herself rest against the cool of the counter behind her. Letting herself settle into the reality of her own words. “Her daughter. She’s alive.”

Nayeon laughs, almost, the sound tangled up in the mess of her rightful rage. In the hands she braces against the counter. Another stretch of silence. Their watches tick along, regardless. “What’s her name?”

“Chaeyoung,” She tells her, softly, almost reverently. Another crooked puzzle piece tossed into the jumble of this awful, wondrous mess. “I’m sure Mina would love her.”

"I'm sure she already does." Nayeon manages to crack a smile at that, Sana watching as her eyes fall to the simple band adorning her finger. Sana lets out a soft sigh as she reaches up to tug on her own. There's quiet, again. Quiet in all of the places Mina should be, leaking into the spaces she’s left behind while she’s gone. “This is so ed up.”

“I know.” Nayeon bumps her head against Sana’s shoulder once more, unmoving until they both hear the creak of Tzuyu’s door, the heavy pad of her footsteps as she wanders downstairs. Sana musters up a smile, musters up her strength as she welcomes a drowsy Tzuyu into the kitchen and into her arms, Tzuyu’s uncasted hand immediately reaching to tug at the end of Nayeon’s shirt. 

“Hi, angel,” Nayeon murmurs, tipping her head down to drop a kiss to the top of her head. There isn’t much difference, now, Sana notices, and Sana aches with the desire to keep Tzuyu this small forever. “Did we wake you?”

Tzuyu only shakes her head, seemingly already half-asleep against Sana’s chest, yawning into the soft sway of Sana’s movements. “Ahma said she would be right up, but she wasn’t.”

“I didn’t mean to keep her,” Nayeon apologises, the simmering rage in her eyes easily washed away with the easy affection she held for their daughter. Sana can’t help but smile at the soft laughter in Nayeon’s voice, soothing her hand over Tzuyu’s back. “You’re just like your Mama. Can’t sleep without her.”

Tzuyu only offers a bashful smile, earning a soft coo and a gentle kiss to her forehead. Sana lets out an affectionate hum, giving Tzuyu a squeeze. “Come on,” She urges, her worries forgotten, even just for a moment. “Your Mama will kick my if you’re a zombie in school tomorrow.”

Tzuyu giggles, softly and sleepily, letting Sana waddle them back to her room, a warm-eyed Nayeon in tow. In that moment, Sana lets herself forget. In that moment, Sana lets herself sink in against Tzuyu’s side. She lets herself watch Nayeon mirror her on the other side of the bed, Tzuyu’s casted arm cradled against her stomach. She lets herself breathe, lets herself settle against the warmth of Tzuyu’s pillows and meet Nayeon’s gaze, just as lost as her own.

At that moment, Tzuyu speaks, low and already on the verge of sleep once more. 

“I wish Mama was here, too.”

In that moment, Sana knows that the heart that breaks isn’t only her own. 

“We’ll be together soon.”

In that moment, Sana wonders if Nayeon can hear her own quiet desperation, too.

“I promise.”