She doesn't remember when it starts, the crush she means, she doesn't remember at all. It could have been when in rough and tough competition with one another, Nayeon's smile towards her was genuine and pure playful. Or it could have been when they saw each other at the bath house in the city, no make-up, no regular clothes, and Chaeyoung still found Im Nayeon to be breathtakingly gorgeous. Maybe it was their official debut, all nine of them in their pajamas, Chaeyoung knowing that Jeongyeon, Jihyo, and Nayeon herself went through many more years than she herself did to get to this day, the shine in the bunny-like girl's eyes as she watched herself upon their tv screen. Chaeyoung knows there are many more moments, knows that what she feels for her eldest unnie is something bigger than a crush.

She feels the beginning of love stirring around in her heart, love for a beautiful, talented, playful Im Nayeon. So on a late early winter night her courage comes to her, adrenaline runs through her veins as she hops down from her bed. She moves swiftly along the ground, almost a floating feeling. She takes in a deep breath as she knocks on the shared room of Nayeon, Mina, Sana, and Jihyo and pops her head in to find the princess in her story, laying in sana's lap; looking towards her with no expression. Chaeyoung speaks clearing, asking for Nayeon to come with her into the kitchen. The eldest complied, giving chaeyoung a soft closed lipped smile right before she took a hold of the hand the shorter member had held out for her. 

Once inside the kitchen Chaeyoung felt as if she had fully become a plate of gelatin, wobbly, unstable, yet she stayed in place; both of her hands intertwined with Nayeon's. She looks up, into the older girls eyes, and her heart spills, "I don't know when it began, and I know you'll find this to be crazy but i cannot hold what I feel back anymore," She lets a shaky exhale leave her, "I'm in love with you, I just realized this, not a 'i love you, you're my best friend', but, 'i love you and want you to be mine always," Chaeyoung swallows, "this isn't a joke, I have liked you for a very long time Im Nayeon, and I think I could fall very deeply in love with you, or well I am beginning to, so please have me." She gives Nayeon's hands a hard squeeze as a bubble of laughter escapes her.

Chaeyoung had confessed, she had tugged nayeon away from all of her members and told her every feeling that her heart has for her. She felt her body illuminating happiness because this was it, this was when nayeon would tug her by the shirt and would kiss her until her lungs felt shriveled. Yet, nayeon stood before her, unmoved, emotionless, uncomfortable; Nayeon wasn't happy. 

Nayeon had spoke softly and clearly; how it wouldn't work, she was too young, they couldn't risk everyone else's dream because of some crush, she didn't love her like that; Nayeon didn't want her like that. The rush of regret surged throughout her veins, she could feel cracks begin to form into her heart as it pounded against her chest, legs began to tremble as did her lips. Chaeyoung attempted a smile, though she knew it would look more like a grimace, and nodded quickly, "I understand," clears, "I understand." she turned away, arms firm at her sides, palms clenched as she moved swiftly to her room. she knew she couldn't get mad; nayeon was her member, her unnie, her friend. She couldn't get mad, she wasn't mad. A rejection is a rejection and she had to grow up. 

She laid upon her bed, tossing and turning; holding in every negative emotion inside so that tzuyu and dahyun wouldn't awake and question her. she looked at the digital clock to the left of her: 3:34 a.m and in a couple hours they would all awake. she needed a drink, water, just a glass; then she could force herself to sleep. She walked out of her room and towards the kitchen without any problem, she thinks that maybe shorter people have more of an advantage to have quiet feet, that's the only positive she has found from her short genes. Right before the entry into the kitchen, quiet breathing could be heard from the living room. It was harsh, deep, almost impatient but quiet. With a another quiet step she looked and her eyes widened at the sight she was presented with: Nayeon, the nayeon she had confessed to, had poured her burning heart out to, kissing Jeongyeon; she was kissing Jeongyeon. 

Her tears fell down without any way to stop them, she swallowed harshly in disgust, Nayeon's hands ran through jeong's hair recklessly as Jeongyeon attentively and nipped down on Nayeon's pulse point. She felt numb, this was the reality she didn't see. Jeongyeon was the reason why Nayeon didn't want her, didn't love her. Though no part of her felt anger towards Jeongyeon. Chaeyoung had never once let her feelings towards Nayeon spill out to any of the other members and even if they did, she in no way was any sort of competition to Yoo Jeongyeon. She was more mad at Nayeon who had told her that she wouldn't, couldn't risk their careers for her. Where here she was still risking by being with Jeongyeon. So, when their eyes met, when Nayeon saw her looking, there was no pushing away, no gasp of surprise; Nayeon told her to go harder, to mark her, to touch her. The moans got louder, she could see her hips roll against Jeongyeon; yet Nayeon was only looking at her. The dark, thrilled, and lust plastered in Nayeon's eyes was only directed towards her. It was with the revelation that she felt her blood move rapidly throughout her once again, her mind clearing itself. She moved herself away abruptly  and headed back into her shared room and she could swear she heard nayeon whimper 'don't'

Waking up at six in the morning with Jeongyeon holding her possessively wasn't the way she wanted to wake up. A lot of things were happening that Nayeon didn't want. Chaeyoung wasn't supposed to feel like she did, wasn't supposed to love her like she did. Chaeyoung wasn't supposed to catch her with Jeongyeon. Nayeon wasn't supposed to find Chaeyoung watching her so thrilling. Jeongyeon wasn't supposed to confess beforehand, and wasn't supposed to kiss Nayeon like she did. Most of all, Nayeon wasn't supposed to be thinking about how chaeyoung would have been kissing her if she had just said yes...

Dry lips kiss the side of her head gently, she looks at Jeongyeon with careful eyes and sees how the blonde girl looks at her as if her beating heart is on edge of her fingertips. She smiles gently and whispers softly, "We need to get up, I hear the others moving about and you know how they'll get if they see us like this." The taller girl removes herself from Nayeon and gives her a tiny peck on the side of her lips, "I'll be in the kitchen, go to your room and change quickly." Nayeon's stomach turns as she nods gently. She shouldn't dislike it as much as she does, she shouldn't still be thinking about chaeyoung as much as she is, yet as Jeongyeon leaves the room she quickly walks to the maknae lines room.

She gives a gentle knock and looks at Tzu and dubu who in return give her small tired smiles. She looks to see Chaeyoung still soundly asleep in her bed causing her to quickly motion the two younger ones to let her wake up the sleepy cub and they head out and down to the kitchen with no suspicion. She walks to chae's bed and hopes to not awake her but a gentle voice makes her jump, "You shouldn't be here," Chaeyoung sits herself up, "I don't want you near me right now unnie, please leave." Nayeon doesn't back away, she moves closer and sits on the younger girls bed. Chaeyoung looks warm, she's everything her heart yearns for. She feels the younger girl come closer, her forehead leaning against the side of hers. Her breath is hot and nayeon wants her to bite down on her ear, she wants Chaeyoung to mark her, to get rid of the mark Jeongyeon has made because through the whole ordeal she had always just wanted it to be chaeyoung. So she grabs onto Chaeyoung's shirt and she pleads, "Don't make me leave when you know what you want to do to me." 

The tight invisible rope that holds the young cub rips and she squeezes her hands against Nayeon's hips. She pulls her on the bed and has her looking straight at her. Confessing was supposed to be so ing easy, denial was supposed to be final and not a lie, Chaeyoung was mad; infuriated that Nayeon would come to her after repeating how everything that she said was just some bull that young inexperienced kids say. She knew the beating in her chest that she was having right now was because through all the hatred she ing loved having Nayeon beg for her, she loved nayeon. She wanted to do anything her unnie begged for, she wanted to make her ing scream but how could she when the dark purple mark illuminated against her skin and made her remember who Nayeon chose. So she pushes her with every ounce of strength and tells nayeon harshly, "I confessed, you denied, you lied, and you chose so no I won't ever give you what you want, not until you admit to everyone who you really want." Tears were running down her face again as a pained laugh escapes her lips, "it's funny how reality works doesn't it unnie, maybe you'll one day wake up to yours and I won't want you anymore."