Gift from (DreamHighx sorry forgot what I wrote in the form as my pen name when I applied)

Gift for Just-2Jae-Feels!

Title of the gift: If You

Pairing(s): 2Jae (Jaebum and Youngjae)

Rating: PG

Genre: Romance

Words: 4k

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Friday evenings always have been the worst time of the day for Youngjae and just like he always thought this said Friday night it turned out that it would have been better to say no to the invitations he had gotten from his coworkers like he often did.
Why he hated it? Well in the Korean work culture, it was almost obligatory to go have drinks together on Friday evenings once all the work was done. It mostly ended with everyone drunk and having to help each other to somehow get home safely.

This was the simple reason why Youngjae was here on a Saturday morning too early for a day off work, a day he usually spent in bed till late in the morning in the warmth of his bed sheets.
December had already started bitterly cold as if the weather thought that it wanted to break some of it's own records. It could hardly be worse than what he could remember of what he had done in the night before, no the current situation was probably just as bad. Because not only was he sitting opposite of his ex, no he was obviously also in the apartment of his ex. They were sitting on a small table, a table they had bought together back when they were still dating, with a glass of water and a pill that would help against the headache that he had ever since he had regained his consciousness.

He remembered the talk he had held with the other person in the room a few hours ago a talk that had helped clear up some things and misunderstandings. But it also made him scared of the future would they be able to start all over again? He also felt like the one opposite of him was still able to read him like a open book like he used to before.

But just how did Youngjae end up at this exact situation? Let's turn back the time and start said Friday evening again.


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"Youngjae-ssi you have to cancel all your appointments for tonight, the boss just called in and organized a meal with the whole team." Kim Yugyeom one of his fellow coworkers approached Youngjae's desk. The younger one was new in their department and he was wondering if he knew what these "team meals" were all about.
"Thank you very much. Yugyeom-ssi. Just so you know, these dinners are relatively common, or the others just want to go for a drink after work. So you might keep most of your Friday evenings free. This will save you a lot of phone calls and canceling dates." said Youngjae. The younger man looked at him confused.

"How did you know I had to cancel a date?"

"Pure experience. I used to be the new guy and now it's you. I want to pass on my knowledge to you. There had been some situations I would have really liked to have someone giving me some advice on the things we do at work but are not really work related. " and with that Youngjae turned his attention back to the screen in front of him, it still would take a while until they all would head to the restaurant.

And like that Youngjae, his fellow coworkers and his boss got together at around 7pm to head to the restaurant where they always went when the boss of the department paid for their dinner. Not that it would be an extremely expensive restaurant, but if they had gone without him it would have been one of the little restaurants around the building where they worked at.
As soon as they entered the restaurant they were already led to a table where everyone could sit down.

"So gentlemen, what should it be today?" Asked the waitress, who after a few minutes had come to their table to get their order.
Like this the first hour passed at which all of them ate and drank plenty. Youngjae could already tell that his boss would probably have to go home after the next bottle of Soju.

How right Youngjae was. Not an hour later his boss was slowly getting carried to one of his co-workers' cars. In moments like these he was so glad to have not gotten his driver license yet. Now that most of the group was busy with their boss, Youngjae thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to go home without anyone noticing.

"Youngjae-sshi? Where are you going? Surely you do not want to leave us already, when now the fun really begins? ", Kim Yugyeom the new was obviously already drunk as well not as bad as their boss but he had already more shots than Youngjae did. The others in the round quickly raised objections that he could not leave just yet and have to drink a few more rounds with them. He already knew by then he would regret it the next morning if he kept drinking. How right he was.


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"Choi Youngjae! Choi Youngjae!" Cheered the group of men to spur on the younger.

"OK! OK, it's alright, I'll do it! Now please be a little quieter." It was obvious how embarrassed Youngjae was by the behavior of his coworkers but also to what he had just agreed.
What it was? To call his ex.
Yes, that's what his coworkers had come up with when they were a little tipsy and usually Youngjae would already be back home around this time and then hear what they had done on Monday morning.
One thing he was concerned about was whether or not his colleagues knew he that he would not be calling someone female. Would they despise him if they found out? Would they think he was disgusting?
Normally this would prevent him from doing such things. The fear that he would then be regarded as no longer normal. But then again thanks to the alcohol flowing through his system, he was more relaxed than usual and there was no turning back now.

He would now call his ex in front of most of his coworkers. His ex, Im Jaebum.
To which he still had feelings but had to close them behind a door and ignore them.
How so? Their relationship had not ended very well. Too much was said and promised but then not fulfilled. Too often had he spent hours waiting for the other or frequently to get stand up. They had started to drift apart after they had graduated from university. Both had different working rhythms and responsibilities.
It was not just because of Jaebum that it had not worked out after all. After graduating university, Youngjae had started working in an office and because he was new, he had often been assigned tasks that he had to complete within a few days and so had to work overtime often. He liked his work that's why it did not bother him in the first place, but the longer he worked there, the less he saw Jaebum his boyfriend.
Even though he used to sleep over in the apartment of the older, he often slept before Jaebum arrived. In the morning, when Youngjae had to leave for work again Jaebum would still sleep so deeply that he did not want to wake him or even could wake him up. Eventually it was more complicated for Youngjae to head to Jaebum's apartment after his meetings by taking the subway and the buss instead of to his own small apartment which was located just a few blocks way from his workplace. So in the last few months of their relationship, they barely had time together they often just sent a message back and forth, which was a lot for a day.

This was just not the type of relationship Youngjae wanted or could support. He often struggled to try to organize anything only to be canceled minutes in advance. So when he once again waited for Jaebum in his apartment one evening it was already way past midnight and the older still wasn't home, he packed his things together and left the apartment. He did not only pack the things he had brought that day no he packed everything. All his clothes he had forgotten at the elder's place or had naturally gotten space in his wardrobe. As well as little things like his toothbrush and other things, he packed in his backpack, went out through the door without looking back. And so, after almost 3 years of relationship he had left without a word.
At first he had hoped that Jaebum would contact him the next day, reach out to him as to what happened. He would confront what was going and why he had packed his things, but nothing no call or message. It was as if Jaebum agreed that they should not be together anymore that it was more of a hassle. And so the doubts that were quietly living inside Youngjae all the time were getting their response. Jaebum had probably not loved him as much as he loved him. That this was only for a short time and Jaebum could hardly have imagined a future with him anyway.

More than three months had passed since that said evening. Three months and he still hadn't been able to move on with his feelings for Jaebum. Three months when neither he nor Jaebum had contacted the other.
It was an open end to their relationship. So open that when Jaebum would stand in front of him he still would want to throw himself into his arms.
He missed his presence, his warmth, the way he had always looked at him, as if he could not see anything except Youngjae. Missed the way Jaebum always kissed Youngjae cautiously, as if he was afraid to hurt him in any way. He just missed everything that was Jaebum. He missed how Jaebum used him like a teddy bear at night, embracing him strongly so that when he tried to break free he would only let go unwillingly.

So i