Sana likes to think that, despite her demanding lifestyle, she can exercise a healthy amount of control over her actions and choices. She likes to think that when the cameras are off and the staff have gone home and it’s just her and eight other regular girls, she chooses who she is and who she wants to be. So when Mina, Mina who always plays the passive bystander in any scenario, grasps her wrist and begins to tug her to the rooftop with a smouldering anger burning in her eyes, she begins to think that maybe the control she thought she had is nowhere to be seen. A slender shoulder forces the door open, the resonating clang causing Sana to flinch whilst Mina didn’t even falter a single step. The pair enter the cool night air, the sounds of the city washing over them as they come to a standstill. The tight fingers around her wrist jerked away harshly, clenching automatically into a fist before unfurling slowly.

  She looked up, expecting to see anger in Mina’s eyes but was startled to see them filled with a pain she couldn’t help but think she had partially caused.

  “Talk to me.”

  Her voice was soft, familiar; the warm tone ingrained in her mind from countless nights sneaking out to eat cheap street food, or staying up late to binge watch the latest episode of their favourite drama despite their demanding schedules. Her voice sounded too much like somebody else's.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  Her voice came out a lot stronger than she thought she could manage, perhaps it was the defiant jut of her jaw that filled her with this false bravado. She turned her head away, unable to look into eyes that saw too much.

  “ Sana.” Mina stepped closer, arm stretching out to touch your wrist again. This time her fingers were soft and comforting, a silent apology. “ Please. ”

  Sana made the mistake of looking at the other girl, seeing how her actions hadn’t just affected herself but also the people she loved. Too often she forgot how young they all were, but with Mina’s eyes b with unshed tears she felt overcome with a wave of shame. She stepped into the other girl, arms wrapping tightly around her stiff frame as her head came to rest naturally in the dip of her shoulder. She went to tighten the grip when she felt familiar hands push her away, stunning her.

  “No, you always do this,” the younger girl said, tears long gone and eyes filled with the dormant anger Sana sparked earlier. “Stop putting us before you for once please, please be selfish for one moment.”

 Stunned, Sana could only look at her friend with mixed feelings, surprise and awe at the forefront. Standing in front of her was barely a trace of the timid trainee who hesitated at the entrance to their dorm, few belongings clutched tightly in her hands as she executed a perfect 90 degree bow, long hair sweeping the floor before shooting back up in a ramrod straight pose. She saw someone far stronger than she gave credit for. She forced down the uncomfortable feeling that had begun to rise in her chest.

  “I-I...I don’t know what you want me to say.” Was that her voice coming out of ? The Sana they all knew was never this quiet, this reluctant, this unsure. She swallowed heavily, choking on messy, tangled words that she didn’t know