“The key to change is to let go of fear...” – Rosanne cash

“Stop sobbing for crying out loud!” Taehyung hissed as he shoved his hands in his pockets, not understanding the sudden emotional outburst of Park Sooyoung.

Sooyoung wailed refusing to be comforted. The boys looked around making sure it was yet to be a private spectacle. Jungkook whispered out of earshot. ”Is this part of puberty?” He stepped around only to examine her like a science experiment gone wrong. Yoongi inserted his reflective sunglasses quietly sipping his pearl milk tea.

“Do guys even have feelings?” Seulgi demanded as Joohyun successfully retrieved a box of tissues from the party table. She handed them to Yerim whom promptly started to clean her friend up.

“She said she was coming back! Right Wannie?” Hoseok nudged Seungwan whilst she circled her arms around the still sobbing Park Sooyoung. “What’s there to cry about?” He was honestly baffled. They all were. The male population at least.

Jimin nodded. “Honestly Sooyoung. This ain’t her funeral, get a grip.”

"You dickheads, have a heart for just one second of your life!” Yerim frowned gathering Sooyoung in her arms as Seungwan began to stand up, hugging herself.

There was a loud plastic crinkling noise as everyone turned to witness Namjoon tackling a giant jumbo potato chip packet. He blinked as he shoved around ten in his mouth shrugging.

Seokjin stretched his blue sour snake talking between chews. “We do have a heart. We threw a party! Just look at all these junkfood,” he added in serious afterthought.

Joohyun, Seulgi and Yerim crossed their arms, barely listening in frustration. Taehyung being the gentleman he was, most likely out of his guilty conscience, cringed as he extended his arm allowing Sooyoung to finally stand up. Her clammy wet hands grasped him tightly leaving slippery fingerprints up and down his left forearm. He wiped them promptly down Jungkook’s shirt whom didn’t even notice as he was too busy whispering to Jimin, pointing something at the girls. Taehyung then asked if she was better, to which Sooyoung sniffled in response.

“The guys are right.”

Everyone drew to her attention. Standing exactly at five foot, Son Seungwan pushed back the bridge of her oversized retro square glasses, revealing a tight focus of eleven different faces peering back at her. It was peculiar the way time worked. For her, it felt like an impossible hindrance. She was either rushing ahead or running behind it.

So what was it this time?

“Hobi’s right. I’ll be back,” she repeated, but a knot was already manifesting in . She swallowed gazing to her friends. “I’ll…. miss you guys?” The uncertainty of her tone hung in the air. It was an invisible thread waiting to be cut. It wasn’t a question. The people standing in front of her now, she hadn’t realised but… it suddenly struck her. The depth of this moment. It wasn’t a goodbye yet… why did it feel anything but reassuring?

She was leaving. Leaving them behind. Eleven faces that had lingered in her memories for more than she could remember. They were always there. In the background. Just there. Morning walks with Joohyun. Sunset bike rides with Tae. Intense study sessions with Joonie. The not so productive ones with Yoongi. Double music lessons with Kook. Girly sleepovers with Yem. Movie dates with Seulgi. Cooking showdowns with Seokjin. Then the eating contests with Chim. Gaming Fridays with Hobi. Busking weekends with Sooyoung. Then there were their million group hangs. From chasing after Grandpa Han’s runaway dog at the crack of dawn, to their summer sleepovers at Seokjin’s uncles’ country farm. Not to mention their countless night escapades where they had lounged at the beach, rolling on sand, wetting their feet and counting the stars.

Would any of this be possible… in three years’ time? She wanted to believe. She was only fourteen. An age of impulsive thoughts and reckless decisions for sure, but she knew some things did hold true to her heart. She had so much ahead of her. All of them did.

“We’ll miss you… too.”

Seungwan turned. His back was facing her. But she knew regardless. Well—his voice cracked for one. Yoongi coughed, but Seungwan knew he was squeezing his throat in undying embarrassment. Someone giggled. It might’ve been Sooyoung, because it set the whole group off as everyone slapped each other’s back… shaking with pure unadulterated laughter.

‘’Finally!” Seulgi shrieked snatching Yoongi’s pearl milk tea. “Ladies and gents… Min Yoongi’s voice has succumbed to the laws of puberty! An applause if you will!”

Everyone circled Yoongi has he slapped his hand against the ground in half defeat. Raising their own pearl milk tea, they sprinkled it all over him in a groundbreaking celebratory moment. They had been waiting for this day to come. For his voice was the last one to break. It was just like their usual doings. As if nothing had changed. Seungwan joined the group chant over and over. “MIN YOONGI! MIN YOONGI! MIN YOONGI!”

Soaking wet, the man of the moment picked off half chewed pearls sprayed all around his clothes. “You ing peasants this was new!” Yoongi gestured to his leather jacket now glistening in a beautiful concoction of milk, peals, ice and sticky syrup.

The group complimented his appearance to which Yoongi cussed again, causing Joohyun to once again assume the motherly figure and reprimand his choice of language. “Nah uh, no swearing remember?” But it was fruitless. The girls knew the boys had already ventured on that road with the big sign above reading ‘no return’. Seungwan wasn’t sure if any of them remembered their childhood promise by the crimson lake on their first ever visit to Seokjin’s farm. A naïve promise it was. What was it again? Something about no swearing for a lifetime on Earth? They had used to think it was the most dignified thing to do.

Well to be fair, they had lasted this long. They were teenagers now. Taehyung the last of them had turned fourteen just a month ago. And today was the last of their winter break. Tomorrow was a new day. A new age. A new era. A first for all of them.

For the eleven, it was to be their first day of high school. For one of them, it was goodbye Korea and hello America.

Change.

Sharpay Evans had once sang, “It’s out with the old and in with the new.” All those high school musical marathons at Yerim’s had taught her one thing. That for a girl like Son Seungwan, letting things go this early in time was not her idea of moving on. Things were perfectly fine as they were now. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want the stupid scholarship. She didn’t want to