Jungkook stares at his violin, expressionless.

This is honestly the worst time ever to play, and yet here he is, staring at the instrument and wondering if he can actually do something without pulling a wrong bow or turning a chromatic scale into an arpeggio. He really can't focus right now, but the teacher standing behind him taps her foot impatiently. Fine, I'll play.

Sure, Jeongguk loves music, but then all he wants right now is to leave this place and find that one person who's waiting for him in his studio, and talk to him, because he knows he'll understand. Sure, he loves the violin, he loves the feeling of the strings against his fingertips, but nothing, nothing, can compare to playing a duet with Taehyung, and just doing what they both love so much.

And now here he is, still stuck in the cramped, fancy room and standing in front of the music stand, staring at the score which he knows he will never love as much as the sonatas Taehyung composes, simple and yet soothing. He knows it's just wrong to have such affections for a boy whom he knows will never stay for too long, but then Taehyung just barged into his life with his boxy smile and pianist fingers, and Jeongguk knows he'll never be able to let go.

Jeongguk was once immersed in his world, just the violin and him, but now nothing's ever the same with Taehyung in the picture. Jeongguk sees him, sees the way he plays, the way he drowns himself in his own music, and just somehow, it reminds him of the time he used to play his own instrument.

"The way he played reminded me of who I was, the violinist I used to be," was what Jeongguk had told Jimin, his best friend, and Jimin had laughed, thinking Jeongguk a little moony over the new boy, but then Jeongguk was no fool, and Taehyung's playing tugged at his heartstrings nobody had ever done before. It was just so young, and yet there was a certain immortality to his playing, and Jeongguk just couldn't find a way to describe the melancholy he felt whenever he heard Taehyung play.

Jeongguk pressed his finger on the string, and played a strong up-bow, the single note echoing in the room as he hummed along to the melody, his hand pulling the bow up and down with powerful . An image of Taehyung playing the piano floats into his mind, and Jeongguk unconsciously smiles to himself. 

The melody plays on smoothly, but all Jeongguk is thinking off is the boxy smile of the beautiful pianist.

Taehyung looks up from his composition as he hears the sound of the door opening and slamming closed, meeting the eyes of a certain brunette violinist he's been waiting for the whole morning. Taehyung smiles at him, and Jeongguk returns the smile, tossing his backpack and placing his violin case carefully on the tiled floor of Taehyung's studio. The grand piano that sits there is imposing, and when the sunlight filters in through the baby blue curtains Taehyung loves so much, the white walls of the room reflect it, basking the instrument in an ethereal light. Taehyung sits at a small table beside the window, a vintage oak piece passed on to him by his beloved grandfather before he passed, the man an aspiring pianist who taught Taehyung everything he knew.

"Hey," Jeongguk moves to stand beside Taehyung, looking down at the piece Taehyung is composing right now. Outside the window, the petals of the cherry blossom tree outside falling slowly, drifting past the window on a phantom breeze. Taehyung's old Mp3 lies on the table, earphones plugged in, and Jeongguk picks it up, smiling when he hears a record of Taehyung's rewritten version of Laputa, the familiar images of the anime reappearing in his head as he listens to the heartbreaking solo Taehyung made by himself. Taehyung looks up at him, a hand taking his and squeezing lightly as they exchange a shy smile.

"How did the class go?" Taehyung asks, leaning his head on Jeongguk's side as the younger pulls up a chair, sitting down beside Taehyung and reading the notes scrawled over the paper. Taehyung looks at him, Jeongguk feeling his heart thump along with Taehyung's steady breathing. He will never get tired of the soft sound, and it sounds musical, somehow. The notes are neat, and Jeongguk can see that it's a rewritten version of Your Name's theme song.

"It was okay, I guess," Jeongguk secretly enjoys the feeling of Taehyung's head on his shoulder. "This would sound really nice if you put in some chords here." Jeongguk points out the empty bars Taehyung had left out. Taehyung blinks at him, slightly astonished but still with a small spark dancing in his eyes. "How would you play that out, then?"

"If you put a chord here, and pull up here with a crescendo..." Jeongguk trails his finger over the bars. "Then the two parts would connect really smoothly."

Taehyung grins at that. "I never thought of that."

"Here you go then," Jeongguk hands Taehyung his pencil, and Taehyung hurriedly makes the necessary changes, erasing the bar rests and writing in the chords Jeongguk suggested quickly. "You want to do a duet on this?"

"Sure," Jeongguk gets up and walks over to where his violin lies, and opens the box, taking out the instrument and tuning it as Taehyung plays a concert A, Jeongguk picking up his bow and pulling it along. Both instruments blend together nicely, and Jeongguk grins as Taehyung hands him the violin score, Jeongguk playing the first few notes tentatively.

"Ready?" Jeongguk nods, and Taehyung starts, the simple melody flowing like water through the air soothingly, Jeongguk's violin blending everything together neatly. The song has a certain heart-shaking quality, but Jeongguk can't exactly place his finger on it, instead focusing all his energy onto his arm pulling the bow up and down, and his fingers pressing down on the strings. Taehyung's fingers fly over the keys with familiar skill, and Jeongguk finds himself drowning in the melody, like how he used to play.

And suddenly, it's all over.

Jeongguk feels an emptiness as he plops down beside Taehyung on his piano stool, placing his violin on the floor as he looks at Taehyung tenderly. "Why do you always change your melodies like this? Why do you want to make people feel so much more than what they should?"

"It's not that,"  Taehyung says, sighing softly as he touches the paper of his handwritten score, looking at it with so much conflicted emotions in his eyes. "I just want them to know what music really is, and I want it to touch the hidden emotions hidden away and make them feel."

Jeongguk is silent, and Taehyung turns to face him. 

"All I want is for my music to reach someone, for my notes to strike them in a way that makes them feel something. I don't care if I lose all my competitions, or if my preludes aren't played the way Chopin intended for them to be." Maybe it's the way Taehyung's voice hesitates, or the way his eyes wouldn't meet Jungkook's the way they usually did. Jungkook still doesn't know. But something wraps itself around his heart, takes over his voice as he replies, "It always reaches me."

The sentence surprises them both, and for a second nothing really happens. Jungkook is getting ready to fake-cough his way out of what he had just said when two slender arms wrap around him, gripping him tightly. He's kind of frozen for a bit, but eventually Jungkook finds his mind and hugs him back. And when Tae starts to pull away, Jungkook only holds him tighter.

Because Taehyung is what that touches him, reaches him through the mess he calls life, and he doesn't want to let go at all. 

Because he just wants Taehyung to hold him tight, and never let go.

Because Taehyung means so much more to Jeongguk than he knows, and never will know.

"You and I can do this," Jeongguk holds up his phone, taking a selfie with Taehyung before they actually walk up the stage. Jeongguk isn't really scared, but his violin is shaking in his grip. And if he thinks he's nervous, then Taehyung is literaly having a fit of nerves, standing there and looking down at his feet, not even moving and tears well in those pretty eyes. "Don't doubt yourself."

"I won't, " Taehyung sends him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, seriously." Jeongguk just can't stop his palms from getting sweaty, and he just has to wipe his hands repeatedly on his white dress shirt to calm himself. This is his first public performance with Taehyung in the college, and if he botches this up, he may never get a chance again. It's hard for Taehyung, he knows, but then Taehyung is a natural pianist, and Jeongguk just wants him to enjoy what he loves most without worrying about anybody else judging the both of them

"God, you're so tense, Tae," Jeongguk puts down his violin and walks over, placing his hands on Taehyung's shoulders and massaging lightly, kneading Taehyung's shoulder blades just hard enough for Taehyung to relax his muscles and release a sigh of content. Jeongguk's skillful hands massage Taehyung like he's pressing on the strings of a violin, and Taehyung just lets himself go limp, allowing Jeongguk to minister his admistrations on him.

"It's gonna be okay, Tae, we're gonna do fine," Jeongguk soothes, Taehyung's breathing steadier as Jeongguk makes him sit on a stool. "We're going out to celebrate after this right? So there's nothing to regret over, just look forward to the performance and do your best. I know you can."

Jeongguk, eyes transfixed on Taehyung, recalls a memory that dimmed over the time Taehyung's been here. It was last spring when he had barged into Jeongguk's life, and it had been a year already, a year of beautiful memories they had shared together. Taehyung was there when Jeongguk had almost destroyed his violin, when Jeongguk had hated himself so much he was near a complete breakdown, and Taehyung had been the one to pull Jeongguk out from the pit of despair. Although Jeongguk still plays the violin, he's never really been able to look at it the same way ever again.

A flashback shows up, and Jeongguk lets himself fall into the river of memories he lets flow.

March 31st, 2016--

Jeongguk looks up from his lunch, and notices the honey-haired brunette sitting down alone at the other end out of the corner of his eye. The boy is beautiful, and according to Jimin, an amazing pianist with natural born talent. The boy sits down on a bench, pulling out a small lunchbox and eating some sandwiches, and Jeongguk completely forgets about the porridge that he's supposed to be eating, and instead stares at the boy sitting a distance away.

He's actually more beautiful than handsome, Jeongguk notices, as the brunette looks out of the window. He could catch Jeongguk ogling at any moment now, and yet he's distracted by something outside, the light rays hitting his face perfectly and the sharp angle of his jawline looking like it could cut through anything. Jeongguk had seen him a few times in the courtyard, and what really hit him the hardest was when he smiled.

The boy's boxy, rectangular smile was like a ray of sunshine in the world.

And Jimin had found a video of him playing at an event on YouTube, showing it to him, and Jeongguk was shocked. His fingers were long and agile, flying over the keys and hitting out scales with hardly any problem. He was swallowed in his music, his playing, and somehow, it reminded Jeongguk of himself, and how he played his own violin.

Jeongguk thought he seemed interesting, and he makes up his mind to ask Jimin to introduce them one day. He smiles like an idiot at the other boy, who barely even gives him a glance.

But thenm who knows?

/

April 16th, 2016 --

Jeongguk looks the boy in the eyes, and he looks back with the same curiosity, mirroring Jeongguk's own facial expression. Jimin is beside Jeongguk, laughing as he reaches out a hand to the boy and introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Park Jimin. Nice to meet you!" They're under a tree in the park, Jimin having asked the boy out to meet Jeongguk, and plays a self introduction for Jeongguk's sake.

The petals of flowers from the cherry tree above them drift down gently, falling like rain around them, and Jeongguk thinks it's beautiful, like the boy looking at him right now. Jimin was right. He was a pianist, judging from those long slender fingers.

"Taehyung, Kim Taehyung." The boy smiles back, shaking Jimin's hand gently. Jimin nudges Jeongguk, and Jeongguk snaps out of his trance, grinning at Taehyung. The boy his head, a small smile blooming on his pretty face. "Jeon Jeongguk, nice to meet you too."

"Hello, Jeongguk," Taehyung shakes his hand as well, and his brows crease together. "Are you a violinist?'

"Yes," Jeongguk's eyebrows shoot up high. How does Taehyung even know that? "How did you know?"

"The callouses," Taehyung takes Jeongguk's hand, running fingers over the old callouses on Jeongguk's palm. Jeongguk watches him, transfixed, as he says, "My mother is a violinist too, and her hand feels the same as yours does. It's beautiful, in a way." Jeongguk snorts, finding the idea of someone liking calloused hands funny. "Don't laugh, I have them too." Taehyung shows him his own hand. "I play piano."

"You two musicians should spend more time together," Jimin jokes, and Jeongguk smiles, thinking it would be fun if they did. He never knew that he would really spen the majority of his time with the beautiful pianist for the rest of the year, and he never knew how hard he would fall for him. He never really knew how Jimin had meant that.

But then they did, and Jeongguk started spending his days with Taehyung, and day by day, somehow their bond grows stronger, forming an unbreakable friendship Jeongguk had given up hope on ever having in his life, and Taehyung walks with him through the hard times, never once letting go of Jeongguk's hand all the way. And Jeongguk will always be eternally grateful that Taehyung had never given up hope on him.

/

June 25th, 2016 --

Jeongguk tosses his bow on the floor, his foot moving to stomp on it when Taehyung rushes at him, pushing him away and shouting desperately at him. Jeongguk is in a haze of fury, and he barely resgisters anything but the burning anger, and the urge to  destroy his goddamned violin, his precious instrument which he had so endlessly played the last few years. The instrument lies on the floor, still unburnished and unscarred, and Jeongguk hates it so utterly he only wants it to vanish from the world.

"Jeongguk, please, stop it!" Taehyung yells at him, shaking him hard. "The violin is years of work! Do you really want to destroy everything you've worked for all these years? Can you even bear the consequences?" Jeongguk thrashes against Taehyung's strong grip, crying out loudly as Taehyung wraps him in a tight embrace. Jeongguk hits him hard, and yet Taehyungstill holds on to him, either unable or unwilling to let go.

"Jeongguk, listen to me," Taehyung breathes, his voice choked with sobs as Jeongguk still fights against him, pounding at his chest. "Listen to me! That violin is your life's work, so don't do this! Jeongguk!"

The single word echoes through his head.,

Jeongguk.

Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk.

It's like waking up from a trance, and Jeongguk grabs at Taehyung's shirt, sobbing into the older's shirt as he breaks down, wetting Taehyung's shirt with his tears as he holds him tight, letting Jeongguk cry it all out. Jeongguk trembles in Taehyung's warm embrace, and he knows that, if Taehyung is there, nothing will ever make him lose control again.

Because Taehyung feels like home.

/

August 11th, 2016--

Jeongguk stands in front of the coffee shop, his hands in his pockets and shivering slightly from the chilly autumn wind. It was his fault he'd misread the time of their meeting and come an hour too early, but Taehyung is due to arrive any minute now, and Jeongguk doesn't want to miss him by heading into the shop for a drink. They've been planning this trip forever, and the train tickets in Jeongguk's pocket reminds him that Taehyung is just as excited for this as he is.

"Jeongguk!" Jeongguk hears the call of Taehyung lovely baritone voice, and turns to see Taehyung cycling out from the alley beside the shop. Jeongguk has a huge smile on his face, and he knows he might look like an idiot, but he honestly doesn't care as he jumps into Taehyung's arms, the older barely keeping his balance as Jeongguk collides with him.

"Are you seriously thatt excited to see me?" Taehyung holds Jeongguk, running his hand down the violin case behind Jeongguk's back. "What's this for?"

"Just in case," Jeongguk grins in excitement, pulling away. "Sorry, I'm just too excited for this." Taehyung looks at him with a certain warmth in his eyes, something that turns Jeongguk's insides to mush and makes him feel all fuzzy. Taehyung's always been able to have his effect on him, and Jeongguk can't exactly say he doesn't like it.

"Hey, Jeongguk, there's on thing I should do, before I forget," Jeongguk meets Taehyung's eyes, b with affection, and an emotion Jeongguk vaguely recognizes, but can't place his finger on it. Taehyung slides his arms around Jeongguk. "Will I regret this?"

Jeongguk giggles, thinking Taehyung's just going to hug him again. "Just do it."

And then Taehyung kisses him.

Jeongguk freezes, and then practically melts in Taehyung's arms, kissing back with just as much feverish fervor as Taehyung is kissing him. It feels amazing, like he's floating on a cloud in the sky, and every sensation, every scent, everything, is just Taehyung, surrounding him and wrapping him within a coccoon of soothing heat in the autumn air.

Jeongguk knows what it is now.

Taehyung's eyes are shining with love, and that love is all his, and his alone.

/

December 25th, 2016 --

"Merry Christmas!" The gang yells as they throw back the paper cups of punch, Jimin hollering loudly to the night sky, "May we live forever!"

Taehyung is laughing along with them, an arm draped around Jeongguk as they look up to the stars, Jeongguk lying lazily in Taehyung's embrace as he listens to the older's soft humming, his low baritone creating a soothing lullaby that lulls Jeongguk into a comfortable dream-like state, hearing Taehyung tell him about the stars he likes, his favorite constellations, and just babbling nonsense in all.

Jimin tosses them a pretty polaroid camera, and Taehyung snatches it up, snapping a few shots of the two of them and stowing it awayin his pocket. ignoring Jeongguk's sleepy pleas to see them. Jeongguk moans in defeat, but he doesn't resist when Taehyung hugs him tighter, whispering softly. Jeongguk is already on the way on float