Things were different ever since Namjoon met her.  Or at least, it felt that way to Taehyung.

The other members seemed to like her, or at least approve of her, and even Taehyung couldn't truthfully say anything bad about her.   She was nice, polite, smart, pretty.  There was no reason to think that she and Namjoon weren't a good match. And yet...it still felt wrong. In fact, the very moment that Taehyung learned that Namjoon was dating someone, everything shifted.

He told himself that he was just worried that their leader having a girlfriend would take away from his work and would therefore hurt the team (though he knew that was irrational, considering how dedicated to his work Namjoon was).  Or maybe he was worried about his friend getting hurt if--when--they broke up.  But...it seemed to be more than that.  He started to flinch at the sound of Namjoon's phone buzzing, felt his stomach sour whenever he saw the two of them leave for a date.   Felt his heart break whenever he waited up in their room all night but Namjoon never came home...

And it wasn't like he could say anything.  What could he say?   Admit to his hyung that it bothered him that he was seeing someone?  That seeing him this happy was actually making him miserable?  Telling him those things wouldn't fix anything anyway, and it would likely make Namjoon upset or angry.   And Taehyung wasn't sure of many things right now, but he was sure that he wouldn't be able to handle it if he had been the one to make his happiness go away.

But he also just didn't understand it.   Why was she making him so happy?  Why had his mood improved so much after he starting seeing her?  Why couldn't Bangtan be enough for him?  Why couldn't he be enough for him?  That irritated him more than it should have.

It wasn't until the day she came backstage before their concert that Taehyung realized how very alone he was in these feelings.   While he was actively trying to avoid interacting with her at all, the other members were doing very much the opposite.  Hobi and Jin were chatting her up, being friendly and already joking around with her.  Jimin and Jungkook would shyly try to start up polite if uninteresting conversations with her.  Even the normally quiet Suga was making an effort to be welcoming towards her.  It was all for Namjoon, he knew.

They had in the beginning been a little more cautious around her, trying to ensure that she was someone who would treat Namjoon well.   It technically wasn't their business, but Bangtan always took care of each other, and this situation was no different.  However, it didn't take her long to prove that she was a good person.  Good enough for their beloved leader?  That remained to be seen.  But for now, they accepted her and tried to make her feel welcome.  Some of them were even trying to befriend her, and as one of the most friendly members, it seemed like Taehyung should've been one of them.

And yet, for some reason, Taehyung had never felt the desire to make any kind of connection with her.

He knew enough about her already, from Namjoon's constant blabberings about her.  Being his roommate was turning out to have more downsides than Taehyung had originally thought.   He probably knew better than any of the other members how sweet she was, how witty, intelligent, and compassionate she was.  He knew knew her favorite foods and songs and books, and he knew what they had done on every date and how well they got along.  He knew that Namjoon was far more smitten with her than he had been with any of his previous girlfriends.

So then why didn't he want to be her friend?  Why couldn't he find it in himself to be happy for them?  More importantly, why was he alone in feeling this way?

Shouldn't all the members have just as much reason to feel this way as he did?

Taehyung discovered the answer to that question that very night after the concert.  The members had just wrapped up their final performance and were walking back to their dressing room, bowing to their staff members along the way.   As soon as V entered the room, he grabbed a towel slung across the back of a chair and began to wipe the sweat from his face.  He plopped down into the chair and settled his elbows on his knees, hoping to recover some of his energy before he started to pack up his things.  His eyes wandered the room and then settled on the door, watching as the other members began to come in as well.

When Namjoon entered, he immediately grabbed Taehyung's usually noncommittal attention.   The older man was shiny with sweat, which somehow made it look like he was glowing.  His shoulders were heaving slightly as he panted from the exertion of the last dance.  He was wearing a simple black t-shirt that was tight enough that you could see the outline of his arms and torso, and his hair that was once perfectly styled was now slightly drooping and sticking to his skin.  And Taehyung was fully aware of the fact he was staring, but he couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away or even to question why.  All he knew was that he thought the man had never looked better.

But then, the perfect image was shattered when she came over to stand in front of Namjoon.   In her hands she had both a small rag and a cold water bottle.  She handed him the water, and then started to dab at the beads of sweat on the leader's forehead, all the while gushing over how great the show was.  He smiled back at her with the full, dimpled smile that Taehyung always thought made the leader look so handsome.  Taehyung couldn't quite hear what they were saying anymore but they were excitedly chatting about something.  She nodded, and then...she leaned in and kissed him, hands coming up to hold his face.  It only lasted a moment, but once they pulled away from each other, the two of them smiled and then embraced.

Shouldn't all the members have just as much reason to feel this way as he did? 

The question popped into his head once again as he looked over at the couple.  At the sight of this seemingly normal interaction, Taehyung felt a pain like he had never felt before, and that was when he realized...

Maybe not.