I am sorry.

As I write, I'm listening to your voice. So soft, so beautiful but like a rose with thorns, it pains me. It only brings me back to the endless laughter, the priceless smile of yours. However, as I listen to such perfection, the lyrics trigger heavy sobs and the tearing of my heart. It hurts, my love. Terribly.

I need you, more than I ever needed you. But where have you gone? Why so soon?

I don't want to point fingers, but why did you hurt so badly? And why did I do nothing? I don't know; I don't know the answers to both questions, I suppose. But I want answers, yet I can not---not now. Not anymore. Just the sweet remembrance of your laughter, your smile, your voice remains. That's all I have left of you, my love. Not even a touch, yet you reached my heart countless of times. Today, you tore it and took it with you.

I never admitted it, but I love you. However, it pains me to know that you never thoroughly received it. Such a beautiful person, gone so soon. Too soon. My heart aches as if I was your lover; it cries your name as if we met. Tattooed on my chest, you will forever remain, my love. My love that deserved all the happiness in the world, all the love in the world, my love that deserved better than he received.

And I'm so sorry that I couldn't give it all to you.

When I woke this morning, this would have never crossed my mind. NEVER. And yet, here we are. Oh, how words can't express how much I miss you, but I'm sure you could've found a way to write it. My head, so blurred and vague, I can't even write anymore. Knowing you, you probably would have laughed at me or teased me with that signature smile of yours. Perhaps you would have apologized cutely and eventually helped me write more.

How you could have helped a lot of us, or how we all could have helped you.

My love, we could've ran away. You could've brought your friends, too. Away from the media, the public, away from the darkness. Oh, so far away from the darkness that you would have questioned if we were on the sun. Together we could have been unstoppable, my love.

I'm sorry I didn't come sooner.

Where ever you are, no matter how far, know that I wish you happiness. Even if you don't come back, I'll be here. Always.

When you return, I promise that we will embrace as soon as I acknowledge you, my love. Until then, I'll patiently await your return.