She would be lying if she said she’s clueless on why her wife was acting that way. She knew everything. The only thing that she wasn’t aware of was… when did it start to bother her? 

They had been together for five years. Their relationship was not perfect, no relationship was. They had fights - loads of them. Mostly, it was because of her and her short temper, but she would always understand. However, they came to the point where her girlfriend - now wife - wanted a break. Not a break-up, just a break. A break from their relationship, from Jessica. 

Jessica thought that it was for the better. She was getting tired too, by that point. She felt that her girlfriend had already lost interest in her. She wasn’t paying as much attention as she would before. Their dates had started to become monotonous. They both needed the space; so she agreed. It wasn’t a break up just yet. Although their relationship at that time was already at the verge of falling apart. Neither of them wanted to let go. 

It was one of the most difficult hurdles that they have faced in their relationship but even that, they managed to overcome. Both of them made the right decision to give each other a break… because during that period of time when they were not by each other’s side they realised how bland and plain their lives were. Both of them added colours and happiness to each other’s lives. And that’s when Jessica realised that her girlfriend was the one for her; the one that she would be spending the rest of her lifetime with. As the saying would go: if you love someone, let her go but when she comes back, she’s yours forever. And that quote was definitely right. 

 … Or was it? 

 Jessica thought that that time was definitely the toughest time for the both of them. Until… Krystal came into their lives. 

It was a mistake. A grave mistake. 

One time after a night out - she was gone, totally gone. She was too drunk she could barely walk; she could barely make sense of the blurry memories she had of that night and mostly it was a complete blank. She woke up in a strange room, in a bed with a man. Jessica had no clue who he was but she was fully aware that something horrible had happened.  

Her girlfriend was the first to enter her mind. Taeyeon didn't want her to go out that night. They had a huge fight because Jessica insisted on coming out with her friends. She could already picture the disappointment, the anger, the fury in her eyes. It hurt her… because she knew that she hurt her girlfriend. She was already trying to prepare herself for the worst - that her girlfriend would leave her. 

One night. Just one night. That night that would change their lives forever. 

Jessica didn’t even think about lying, or hiding it although she knew that that might end their relationship. She didn’t want to let her go but she thought that keeping it a secret and acting like nothing happened would be more excruciating for her girlfriend, and for her. That exact same day when she woke up in bed with another man, Jessica told her. 

 As she had expected, her girlfriend had an outburst. She was crying, screaming in rage. She wanted Jessica out of her life. She wanted Jessica to off, to stay with that man.  

It was the first time she saw her girlfriend that angry. She was shaking; her eyes bloodshot. Jessica did all that she could to calm her down. She kissed her, reassured her that she was the one that she loved; that that night was a huge mistake and never, even in her worst nightmare had she ever thought of hurting her.  

However, nothing worked out for them that night. Jessica ended up leaving her girlfriend’s apartment. She was crying on her way home. She was broken and she had no idea how to pick up the pieces and fix herself. She was lost, again. 

That was the longest time that they had been separated from each other. Her girlfriend left the town a month later, and Jessica realised that one spiteful night could be worse…  

 She was pregnant. 

Nine months had passed but her girlfriend was still nowhere to be seen in their area. She even asked their mutual friends and even her girlfriend’s best friend where she could be but from all of them she got nought. Her baby was already born and that time she had decided to commit all her time and affection to her little girl.  

At the back of her mind she was still hoping. She was hoping that she would come back. 

And as if the universe was actually listening to her silent prayers every single night, she came back. Jessica wondered what she did in her past life to deserve this - to deserve her.

It was Christmas Eve. Krystal was three-months old.  

She was happily chatting with her family over their Christmas dinner when the doorbell suddenly rang. They were not expecting anyone to join them so they all looked at each other; all puzzled. Jessica took the initiative and got the door. 

To her surprise, the person she had been longing for was stood right in front of her. “B-Babe - “ She couldn’t finish what she was saying as her girlfriend engulfed her into a tight, warm embrace - like home. Jessica missed it so much her eyes started watering from happiness.  

“I missed you,” her girlfriend whispered, giving her cheek a wet kiss as she would usually do. 

Jessica was crying, but laughing at the same time. “I missed you more,” she tightened her hug as if she couldn’t get enough of the feeling of her body on hers. “Please don’t leave me again.” 

 They were hugging for a long time, not caring about the fact that it was snowing and they were both outside. They only let go of each other when Jessica’s mother told them to go in. They both laughed with love evident in their pairs of eyes. They went in, at last.  

That night, her girlfriend claimed Krystal as hers. “She would be our little princess. Our daughter.” 

That was the sweetest thing her girlfriend had ever told her. 

That was also the first night that the three of them slept in one bed. As a family. 

-- 

“It was torture. Nine months without you felt so empty; I was so lost,” she admitted, holding Jessica’s hand tightly. “Every morning I’d wake up feeling so hollow - like I have no purpose in life anymor