"Why do you keep on doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this from you, huh? you asked me as I saw her eyes starting to tear up. 

 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I just want you to be honest to me, that's all." I fight back.

 

"No, I'm always honest to you. But you never trusted me." she replied totally sobbing now.

 

"What are you saying? I always trust you, you. You are just assuming I'm not." she chuckled bitterly.

 

"You trust me? haha! Is trusting me proved how you forced me to do everything I can't do." I frowned. "You don't know? Okay let me remind you. You made me stop being friends with my bestfriends. Why? Because you don't want to see the other idols' we're talking in our groupchat? Just that simple matter, Soonyoung. And you're being immature like that?" Immature? How am I immature?

 

"Immature? It's not about me being immature, I just saw your friends send their Idols' bodies in your groupchat. And look what I discovered, You just replied 'OMG!!!' How can I not be angry at that?"

 

"Soonyoung, It's just a fangirl's reaction." I laughed sarcastically at her answer.

 

"Yeah! Fangirl's reaction!" totally don't believe her.

 

"See. You don't trust me. Gosh, Soonyoung!! Fine, If you continue being this immature, let's just break up. We will never be mature if we continue this relationship." 

 

And I froze as she left me dumbfounded.

 

 

---

 

 

I sat on my couch, thinking so hard after the whole break up. Am I really immature to think like that? I put my hands on my face and groaned how annoying that day was. But I'm just being so insecure how she reacted on her friend's who sent those pictures. I know I'm not that muscular but I am not that fat though. Or am I?

 

I wonder what is she doing right now? Is she happy now that we finally broke up? Or she's in the same situation with me?

 

I admit, I'm scared. I'm scared of losing her, of being alone, and to be not on her side anymore. But I did to her what I'm afraid of. I kept of texting her how much how sorry and regretful I am. But I think, she is tired of me already. She always say that I don't trust her but I really do. I do trust her, so much. It's just the people around her. 

 

She didn't say she'll come back after she left me, It's just that and I didn't even dared to follow her and think that she will come back cause she just want to have fresh air and think straight. But after a few days, she never replied back and want's to talk to me anymore. 

 

To: My Love, you

 

Baby, please talk to me

I'm sorry for everything

I know I'm immature, and we still can work it out

I'm sorry for forcing you. I won't do it again

Please forgive me, babe

you, please

I'll do everything for you to forgive me

 

 

I keep on texting her but nothing gets back from her. I miss her. I can't even focused on the choreographs because of what happened. I'm deeply hurt and I know she's more hurt than me. I know it's my fault but I can't do anything to bring her back to me. I'm falling apart and ruined. I guess I'm not important to her anymore.

 

One time, Seungcheol hyung asked me as we practiced our dance. And all I can say that I'm Alright. Hiding my true feelings to my members. It affects the whole performance if I keep doing this. 

 

I told them I just need to drink some coffee and they even made me buy them as well I don't mind though, as long as I can gather my thoughts and think more maturely. I wore my hat and didn't even care if someone bumps into me. I don't care if they get mad at me or hurt me. I'm more hurt emotionally rather than physically.

 

As I entered the coffee shop and bought all the food my members need, I received a message I never expected I deserve to receive.

 

From: My Love, you

 

Come to my house. Let's talk

 

 

I slightly smiled and rushed towards her house.

 

I wish she will accept my apology and we can be happy again. I promise that I will change for her and make her happy again.