Sooyoung had moved to undo Kyuhyun's jeans, removing them from her hips when Kyuhyun finally panicked, giving the first excuse that came to her head.

“Wait! We can’t… it’s too fast!”

Sooyoung sat up again.

“Is this about Zhou Mi?”

Kyuhyun was caught by surprise, staring into Sooyoung's big brown eyes.

“What do you mean?”

Sooyoung sighed, smiling sadly at Kyuhyun.

“Please tell me you can at least admit to yourself how much you love her?”

“What?”

“Oh come on Kyu, you aren’t even subtle about it. And I’ve been trying so hard to ignore it.”

“Okay fine, so maybe I like her a little bit!”

Sooyoung looked right at Kyuhyun with such sad eyes.

“You don’t even see what you're like, do you? You talk about her all the time, sometimes it’s like you don’t even realise you are doing it! ‘Oh Zhou Mi did this, Zhou Mi said that, Zhou Mi and I were talking about this!’ And worst of all Kyu, when you mention some conversation you’ve had you smile, this… content smile, like its so humorous to remember, and it’s the only time you're that happy. I thought maybe I could be okay being second best to the ’wonderful Zhou Mi’, but you know what, it’s getting a little annoying! I’m here, working so hard for you, giving you everything you should want, and still all you can think about is her, and where is she? What are you to her right now, Kyuhyun?”

Sooyoung started crying, sat nearly on Kyuhyun's lap, hands gripping the bed sheets

“I could easily l… we could be great, if only you could forget her. And I honestly don’t think you can, do you?”

Kyuhyun sat basking in her own shame as realisation washed over her. She had tried to pretend she was happy, and yes, she liked Sooyoung, but it wasn’t the same and it wasn’t enough. Kyuhyun couldn’t just turn off her feelings for Zhou Mi. Feeling like the worst person ever she shook her head, tears in her eyes. She opened and closed a few times, trying to think of something to say.

“I’m an idiot, I’m so sorry”

She wasn’t even sure Sooyoung could hear it, but she held Kyuhyun's hand to show she had.

“You'd better stay friends with me Kyuhyun or I’ll get Sungmin to kick your !”

Kyuhyun gave a watery chuckle before they hugged. The hug lasted about five minutes, before Sooyoung pushed Kyuhyun away.

“Get dressed, clean yourself up and go tell that oblivious Chinese menace how you feel, for everyone’s sake. Before you risk losing something special.”

She squeezed Kyuhyun's hand once more, smiling at her. Friends, yeah, Kyuhyun thought they could manage that.

***

Kyuhyun left Sooyoung's house a little while after; they had hugged a bit more and Sooyoung had informed Kyuhyun that being awkward was forbidden. It had made Kyuhyun smile, even though she was still angry at herself for being an idiot to someone so amazing.

Kyuhyun had decided to walk to Zhou Mi’s to give her time to clear her head, seeing as Sooyoung only lived about twenty minutes away from Zhou Mi’s apartment. This turned out to be a stupid idea - five minutes in it had started to rain, hard, and Kyuhyun didn’t have an umbrella. 

By the time she arrived at Zhou Mi’s building she was soaked, wet hair clinging round her face and neck, and she had started crying again just because she felt sorry for herself. She calmed herself down before going into the building and climbing the stairs. Trust Zhou Mi to live on the eighth floor of a building with a broken lift.

Kyuhyun stood outside Zhou Mi’s door, leaving a little puddle of rain water; she had been there for five minutes and she still hadn’t knocked. She was scared, so scared that once again she started to tear up. It was too much emotion for one evening - guilty at how she had treated Sooyoung, nervous about telling Zhou Mi the truth and also terrified that this would cause her to lose Zhou Mi for good.

She leant her head against the wall next to Zhou Mi’s door, attempting to compose herself before she did this when Zhou Mi’s voice sounded from the hallway behind her.

“Kui Xian! What are you doing here?”

Kyuhyun whipped around to see Zhou Mi standing at the top of the stairs, some grocery bags in her hands and her long umbrella dripping water onto the floor.

“Oh my God! You're soaking, get in here before you get sick!”

Zhou Mi opened the door and pulled Kyuhyun inside by her arm, fingers warm against Kyuhyun's icy skin. She put the groceries on the table and continued to pull Kyuhyun through to her bedroom and handing Kyuhyun her bathrobe.

“Change into this, I’ll get the shower started!”

After she changed, Kyuhyun sat on Zhou Mi’s bed wrapped in the enormous, fluffy bathrobe. She sat with her legs dangling over the bed, still crying softly to herself even though she wasn’t sure why any more. Zhou Mi came back into the room and pulled Kyuhyun into a tight hug.

“Go shower and warm yourself up. I’m going to make us some soup and then you can tell me what’s wrong, okay?” 

She wiped Kyuhyun's tears away and Kyuhyun nodded. Zhou Mi gave her a towel and pushed her toward the bathroom, making her way to the kitchen.

The shower water washed over Kyuhyun, warming her up and helping her to clear her head a little. She stole some of Zhou Mi’s shampoo and washed her hair, the strawberry smell that she instantly associated with Zhou Mi made her smile and feel a lot more relaxed. She had to tell Zhou Mi now, it was too late not to. She was utterly, hopelessly in love with her.

***

When she came out of the bathroom there were two bowls of soup on the little table in Zhou Mi’s room, steam rising welcomingly. Zhou Mi came back from the living room holding her own and Kyuhyun's phones.

“I called your mum - she said for you to stay here and if you go out in the rain again and get sick, she’ll take away all your games.”

Kyuhyun smiled and let Zhou Mi guide her to sit down on the floor in front of one of the bowls.

“Eat, you’ll feel better.”

Kyuhyun did as she was told. The soup was warm and made her realise how hungry she had become during her wandering. Zhou Mi was too good at looking after people; she had cleared away the empty bowls in silence, coming back with a mug of something steaming and Kyuhyun could smell chocolate. Zhou Mi placed it on the table in front of her, still silent, not forcing Kyuhyun to talk until she was ready.

Kyuhyun eventually spoke, in a voice much quieter than normal.

“Sooyoung broke up with me.”

Zhou Mi looked shocked.

“I thought maybe you two had fought or something, but broke up with you? Why? Is she stupid?”

Kyuhyun looked back up at Zhou Mi through still-damp strands of hair.

“Because of you, Mi.”