PICK UP - - prileX

SIMPLICITY - - - HIATUS (read Announcement for more info)
Please log in to read the full chapter
simplicity editing (beta) and reviewing shop progress prices rules prileX - The Mistake of Falling in Love Notes - REVIEW by jennay523  

Likes

I liked how much you emphasized how the relationship that had happened between Baekhyun and Chanyeol has affected them throughout their lives in the present time in the story.

Dislikes

I didn’t dislike anything about the story.

“PrileX” asked to comment on a possible change in the title of the story.

I don’t believe a change in the title is necessary because you have shown through the plot so far that both Baekhyun and Chanyeol have thought that their relationship and falling in love with each other was a mistake.

“PrileX” asked to comment on any improvement needed for the plot of the story.

There isn’t anything that needs to be improved yet as you only have three chapters written so far. As more chapters are written, then you’ll be able to see a clear path that you would like to take in writing your story. So far, it is very interesting, and I am very intrigued on finding out what exactly Baekhyun needs to explain to Chanyeol but hasn’t gotten the chance to.

Anything else I could comment on

Be careful when using the phrase “said man.” It was a little hard to distinguish who you were referring to when using that phrase to describe someone. Technical note: In chapter two, you refer to Sehun as Kai’s best friend, but later use “hu
Please log in to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Author's Thoughts
distanced
If there is anyone who is considering getting their story edited by me, but are unsure of quality of work, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm more than happy to provide a sample of my own writing as reference to my editing skills.
Read More →
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
prileX #1
Chapter 6: Thanks so much! This was actually very helpful.

For the first point, I have noted that well! Sometimes, I feel it becomes redundant if I keep saying 'Chanyeol' or any other name so much of even 'he' so I try to find other ways to describe a person but I understand where you're coming from. I'll use that term more carefully from now on!

Secondly, that was a mistype I believe. They're just friends LOL. I'll go back and fix that.

And lastly, I wanted to add new characters to the story but I was clearly too hasty. I was thinking that as well but I had already published it so I didn't know what to do. What would you suggest? I was thinking about taking out chapter two and having the third chapter become the second one, then using the Kai/Sehun scene later. I need some help here, thanks :)

All in all, I'm glad you liked my story! I was so scared to open this review but I'm glad that they were mostly positive. Thank you so much :D
chanbob 102 streak #2
Chapter 7: thank you so much for this review. I was able to see the what have satisfied you throughout the story and what didn't, which isn't much compared to the good ones, so I feel really happy :)
I have credited the shop in my story foreword and paid the karma points, if there's anything I need to do, please tell me and I'll do it. thank you again!
venusheart #3
Hello^^
I've just requested.
Thank you and Happy New Year xoxo
jaxial #4
Requested! Thanks ^^
chanbob 102 streak #5
Requested! thank you in advance!
PuririnLuka #6
Hello, I sent mine's, but do I really need to give my password?
chanbob 102 streak #7
I'd like to get my story reviewed but sadly it got 11 chaps...
stellarstarlight #8
Chapter 2: I've always been curious about review shops. I could never do it myself. If you don't mind my asking, how did you come up with what to focus on? Like, how do you decide what parts to review?
Back to Top ↑