☑ amusingmurdermachine - the color of wounds
Knowrain Review Shop (CLOSED and working in progress)the color of wounds
Reviewer: Moelolz
Story Link: Here
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Story Title
I found your title quite poetic. It connected well with your story without giving away information on the plot. The only thing I would suggest is that you capitalize your title as such: The Color of Wounds.
Description and Foreword
As this story is part of a drabble collection, there is no description for the story. However, I would like to make a small comment on the description and foreword of this drabble collection. Personally, it felt a little confusing to me. I was intrigued by it however, and the format was quite simple and clean, but I had to go over your description a few times to understand what was going on. Perhaps you can make your words a little larger, especially at the description because I kind of missed the words the first time. The gif above it sort of drowned the words out a little haha. The small font also made it a little harder to read.
But then again, though it felt a little hard to comprehend, it’s fine the way it is now. It had quite a minimalistic aura to it, and suited the atmosphere of this drabble collection quite well. There is only one thing that I would really suggest you correct:
In the commons section, your format is a little inconsistent. The “02 the warmth of a stranger” didn’t match the colour and size of the first title, and the tags below were larger than the title.
Characterization
I thought that your characters were portrayed quite well in such a short amount of words. I felt sorry for both characters; both seemed to be living in such a lonely and twisted world that kind of scared me, but also made me pity them.
Jihyun is a canvas herself, though physically she is not coloured with bruises like the boy, but her heart is severely coloured with hurt and pain from the past which she protects and refuses to let go. From the way she reminisces about the past, and the way she reacts to the boy, it is clear that she is unwilling to forget about her hurt. Instead, she holds tightly onto it, and nurtures it within her own pitiful world, becoming more and more wrapped up in it as time goes on. Very sadly, the boy is a consequence of her self-pity and hurt, and at a very young, innocent age has already suffered much physical and emotional abuse.
Plot and consistency
It was a short story, but I found it quite a powerful one. Your carried your story across really strongly through the way the past and present weaved in and out of each other, and everything flowed well. Great job!
Grammar and Writing style
There is much to commend on your writing style. Your words were easy to understand, and they carried your message across in such an efficient and powerful way. It was also very descriptive, and I especially liked the reoccurring canvas motif.
Your grammar was also fluent, but there was just one small spelling mistake I found. You write “canvass” instead of “canvas”. There is only one ‘s’ at the end of the word. Other than that, everything else flowed well.
Reviewer's enjoyment
Overall, I really enjoyed this small drabble. What really made an impact on me was despite the length of this drabble, it held quite a heavy amount of depth, and that last twist at the end of the story was quite a powerful finish. Keep writing on! You’re doing a great job.
Total: UNGRADED
Sorry for the late review, I had been busy the past few weeks :(
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